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"Mixed Blessings a Cat Tail "Written By: Kaeru Shisho Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Gundam Wing
or its characters, nor do I make any monetary profit off this story. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: AU, male/male pairings of a most ridiculous
nature; told from Quatre's point of view, so beware the fluff. Pairings: 1x2, 3x4 Summary: The GW boys are all cats finding their little paws in the big, bad world. For Dyna Dee. A/N: The author needs her head examined, as does
her friend and editor, Waterlily, who suggested it, but I wrote it
just the same in order to make you laugh and as an eleven chapter
gift to Dyna Dee! " Mixed Blessings a Cat Tail "
Cheshire Cat Smile There is shortage of available cat toys in this room, And since I can find nothing better to play with, I shall see what happens When I sharpen my claws On this handy piece of furniture. — from the poetry of Chang Wufei Chapter 5 -Cat-tastrophe! In retrospect, I know I should have planned better. I prided myself on my planning skills, so why hadn't I given a thought to what I'd do when my friends came over? Things wouldn't have gotten out of control so quickly or so thoroughly had I mapped out the rooms we'd visit and portioned out some treats and had Rashid supervise the party games. I'm not really sure he would have participated, actually, since he pulled his cover over his cage and hid in there the entire visit, but, still, I'm really sorry I neglected to consult him, or even warn him that they'd make the return visit. There was a bright side; my friends had a good time. Mostly. The day began as a day should, with breakfast. I downed my Chicken in Gravy, blotting out the vision of downy gold chicks diving into a stew pot (thank you, Trowa, for introducing that into my poultry dining experience!), lapped at my water, and waved Miss Iria and Mr. Tam off for another day away from home. At last! "Where are you going?" Rashid asked from his perch in the front window. "Are you not napping here? It is a fine day to watch the birds in the trees." "Not today, sorry! My friends are trying again to visit me." "Those... cats? I don't approve! No, not at all, do you hear me?!" "Sorry!" I dashed out the cat door and out onto the patio. No one was there! The sun felt warm and my nose tingled with fresh smells. Dew glittered on the flower petals. Just as the cicadas began to buzz, I heard a familiar chirp and meow and whiny meow—my friends! "Hello, hello, hello! Welcome to my home!" I danced in place I was so happy they came. "It's not overrun with humans today, I presume?" Wufei asked, scanning the outside of the building for errant people, I guessed. "What are you implying?" Heero straightened; his eyes slitted suspiciously. "The job was completed yesterday—to standard specifications. No additional tasks are necessary." "So you say—" "Chill, guys," Duo said, purring. He passed between them, hip checking both cats and sending them sprawling in opposite directions. "Watch where you are going!" Wufei snarled, which I though was funny. He looked comically scrawny beside the furry fluff that made Duo appear much, much larger. "What do you find so funny?" Having his beady eyes and fishy breath in my face evaporated all the funny I might have felt. I coughed. "I'm sorry! Nothing! Won't you come in?" Wufei strode in as if he owned the place, sniffing at the new smells. Heero tip-toed in, sticking cautiously near the walls and stealing looks around corners. Duo bounded over all obstacles in his path, and asked, "Where first?" I immediately thought of the places I spent the most time, deciding to begin with those. "This way, please." The laundry room was the first one we came to. "Here's my bed." The laundry room wasn't small, but suddenly four cats parading through it made it feel a lot less significant. Duo purred approvingly at everything. "Nice litter box, Kit-Cat. Roomy." "It gets changed daily?" Heero asked. "Sometimes twice." I heard a gasp. Wufei was rubbing his face on my bedding. "You sleep on silken cushions?" he asked breathlessly. "I don't know. Is it silk? I used to sleep on Miss Iria's bed-." "Say no more!" Wufei shook his head in sorrow. "I know the shame, for I, too, once shared the Master's bed and then... well, no more. A wadded up towel is all I am worthy of now." "Hey, you getta towel? I had to steal my own bedding, twice!" Duo's story might have been intended to be a sorry one, but the way he told it, I could tell he was rather proud of his cleverness. "The first time I'll admit was a stretch, taking old Howie's shirt. He didn't much like that, so I stayed away from things with his scent and stuck to the workshop rags. Gathered up quite a collection. He's no wiser either 'cause I hid'em well up in the shop rafters." "I thought you slept on the window sill," Heero remarked. "That's where I find you." "Yeah, well, I also got this secret stash of rags up in the rafters." "I wouldn't think a cat your size could climb that high." I don't know why Heero was goading Duo, but it seemed too artfully done to have been accidental. Duo was on him batting his head and Heero was clawing and biting back. There wasn't any real animosity or blood. I'd call it rough play. Curious, though; they weren't kittens. Wufei, meanwhile, had discovered the basket of folded clothes and was rolling in the lovely, filmy things. I had to get him out of that! I just knew Miss Iria would not like to find his fur on her dainty things. "We should move on. Um... Wouldn't you like to find my food dish and... and the aquarium?" There was a rush to the door, Wufei leading the way. Duo, as usual, pushed by him into the hall. I wonder if he knew his fur filled the doorway and blocked the path? "What's in here?" he asked, pawing at a door handle. "That's Miss Iria's craft room," I answered. I hadn't been allowed in there at all since we moved to this house. I could just barely remember having been a lot smaller and playing with buttons and spools of thread in a similar room, probably the prior city house. "You're fur is getting into all the fabric!" Miss Iria had screamed, and that was the last I'd seen of that room or of any craft room, until now. "Craft? Is that like 'toy', 'cause I see a bounteous assortment of cat toys. Man, look-it all this crap!" "Careful of that quilt!" I called out from behind a multi-tiered organizer bin. "This? Looks like my rag collection, heh, heh." His tail swept a side table clean. "Oh, geez, didn't mean to do that." Tiny beads bounced to the floor, millions of them rolled and scattered across the floor, soon joined by Heero and Wufei pawing at them, scooting them into piles and then whacking the empty plastic containers and sending those flying into the air. Duo jumped at one and landed heavily on Miss Iria's sewing table. I didn't even try a warning shout. I flinched when the little box of pins tipped over the edge, but I didn't cry. Then the machine purred and I did panic! "Heero! Got off that foot pad!" "Why?" "You'll sew over Duo's tail!" "I will what?" He stood and the roaring of the machine stopped. And not a moment too soon! Duo hopped down. "Heh, it's okay, Kit-Cat, relax. You're showing us a great time here, for a newbie. How about you direct us to the grub?" He had no idea what nearly happened! His tail! Poked by the sharp thingy! Over and over! I'd seen it work! I had to clear my head; they were parading out the door, tails intact and held high, going who knows where? I scampered lickety-split behind them, and just in time! "We really shouldn't go in there," I said, to no avail. Heero had already nudged the door open. "I detected static electricity," he claimed. "Just as I thought. The surveillance collection device is in here. All the feeds enter at his point, and then are transmitted to Odin's lab, where the data is evaluated for suspicious activity." Wow! Heero knew so much. However... "It's Mr. Tam's Home Office room. We shouldn't be here. He doesn't like car fur on his monitor screen. Not at all." "That cat's been on my keyboard! Look! There's hair sticking to my monitor!" Thinking back to that awful yelling, it was shortly thereafter that I was shut out of the bedroom and moved to the laundry room. Oh, dear! What came after the laundry room?! Where would they put me next?! A castaway? Dear whiskers! Rashid warned me that would happen; it had happened to him. "I flew the coop. I was young, willful, a headstrong chick. Never mind that I came from a safe, well-tended nest. I had to test the limits, see the world, and I did. I never found my way back. I was no longer allowed inside the enclosure." I'd never seen a grownup macaw cry, but on that occasion Rashid nearly broke down as he told me the story of how he came to Miss Iria. Exiled from his homeland, he had been passed from human to human, house to house. It was a long and twisted story I couldn't actually follow, but I knew it was heartrending. "Follow the rules, young Cat! You could die, exposed to the elements! It is a cruel, cruel world out there." The horror of what-might-be overwhelmed me now. I fled the room, tore through the house to the Guest Room, there I found the bubble plastic, ripped off a sheet, and dashed into the office. "Look! What fun! There's more down the hall!" I was so excited to see all three friends obey and follow me that I didn't really pay Wufei the attention he deserved. "I didn't come for kitten play. I'm looking for those fish." Duo and Heero liked the boxes containing white, floaty bits of what Heero told me was "Styrofoam popcorn and bubble wrap." "All Odin's instruments and devices come wrapped in this. I never played with it though." His eyes blazed, wide and happy and energized, as he pounced on the bubbles, causing them to pop. "Very satisfying!" "Find me!" Duo yowled as he ducked inside a box, the "packing popcorn" attached to his fur like burrs. "Are you hiding... here?" Heero ripped through the contents of one box, shredding paper and sending the scraps airborne. "It's snowing!" How delightful! Warm snow I could pat and chase! Now we were all having fun! No one came into this room. It would be a long time before the mess was discovered. My joy was short-lived. Sadly, the boxes were not completely empty. Heero leaped into another box. Then I heard a tinkling of broken glass. I hoped nothing precious had been inside that one. When Heero found Duo, with a howl, I knew it was time to move on before their tussle included more ruination. "Who's hungry?" I called out. Duo's head appeared from a hole he'd torn through his box. "Really worked up an appetite! On my way!" "A great deal of joy can be derived from sharing a meal," Rashid had told me often enough. It was part of being a hospitable host. So, I led them into the kitchen, where Duo immediately located the cupboard in which the dry food was stored. From the granite counter-top ("Ooh, this is one cold, stone counter, Cat!), he could reach down and hook a paw under the pull and open the door. It was kitten-play for him to drag the bag down and out and spill the contents all over the floor. Nothing. To. It. No mention was made of canned food, for which I was most grateful. I didn't want to know how that pair would manage to operate the pull-tabs on the cans, but I was certain they would once they put their combined minds to it. Heero could turn on the water faucet. I watched him do it and take his drink as if it had been designed just for his use. Of course, Duo copied him, and I, fascinated by his ingenuity, learned the trick also. Turning it off didn't occur to any of us. Funny. With friends for comparison I was learning a great deal about cat culture. "GET OUT!" I nearly left my skin behind as I leaped vertically onto the kitchen counter. From that height I could see who'd shouted at us. "Trowa?!" I meant to add, "you came," but he looked angry. Heero and Duo scrambled to their feet, having just curled into a blended mass of fur in a patch of sun on the kitchen table. Both cats whirled around to face Trowa. "Who's the killjoy?" Duo asked. "Oh, you." "NOW! Your humans are coming!" Trowa yowled with urgency. "Duo!" I ordered, "Take Heero out to the garage at once—!" "Stupid, Stop!" hissed Trowa in his snake voice. "They'll be coming in that way. Use the back door." "But it's closed—"I started to argue. "I came in that way! Go!" This time I kept my mouth shut, although I really wanted to know how Trowa opened that door. "This way!" Trowa called and this time Duo, Heero, and I raced out of the room at Trowa's tail, jostling to be the first out the door. Duo reached the patio and spun around. "Where's Wufei?" he asked. I was used to having Duo and Heero around, that I'd completely forgotten that Wufei had been in my house, too. "Oh!" Trowa shoved me back through the door. "Look for him. I need the others to do a little job with me." Now, I didn't wish to be ungrateful or critical of him; he did warn us of Miss Iria's imminent arrival. But. He could have offered to help me search the house instead of pursuing whatever little task he'd set out for the others. I didn't even know he was that close to them. Those thoughts and others much like them took me through the house, but I saw no Wufei. Then I remembered the aquarium in the front room where my lovely window seat stood; he'd be there! "Wufei! Hurry! Miss Iria—oh! I hear the car in the garage! We have to go, now!" Whatever is was that he had in his mouth, slipped to the floor when his jaws fell open to complain. "Wha-at?!" he exploded angrily. "I just got started! What is the meaning of interrupting my fishing... ngh... Who did you say?" "My human!" He swallowed hard. "Which way is out?" "Follow me!" I cried, and we dashed for the exit. I guess I didn't need Trowa's help collecting Wufei after all, but he hadn't known that! Wufei and I dove for cover under the shrubbery and there we stayed, catching out breaths. Memories of the mess we made throughout the house rushed back to me in one big bad wave of guilt, washing away all my warm fuzzy remembrances of the good times. As I was about to bemoan what was to become of me, I heard a most awful commotion from the back shed. The back shed was a place I'd avoided. It smelled bad, like death and chemicals. At my side I felt Wufei tense ready to flee at any moment. "That's Trowa's voice!" And several other difficult to identify animal howls. Out of the broken window jumped a huge furry raccoon—the one I'd encountered in my tree at night! He thumped to the ground with a grunt and took off with first Trowa, then Duo and Heero at his heels. "What are they doing?" I wondered. "Consorting with low lives," Wufei commented, his voice dripping with scorn, his eyes accusing. "You should be more careful with who you allow in your territory." Who was he referring to? Our friends? Trowa? Certainly not the raccoon! "I hardly could invite a raccoon here, so I couldn't possibly disinvite one," I said defensively. "Not that creature!" "Duo and Heero are your friends, too!" "The circus freak, obviously. Don't be stupid!" "He's nice!" I said shortly, netted at his tone. Wufei's response was to remain aloof and refuse to speak. So, we sat in gloomy silence, giving me time to think over what had happened and what I'd seen. Wufei had been fishing in my aquarium and it had been one of my fishies that I'd seen drop from his mouth. I hoped it was okay and was in the water, not on the floor. I would surely be in a kibble-load of trouble if Mr. Tam found a dead fish! That gave me yet another reason to be distressed by Wufei's behavior. Now, I may not have been a grown cat for long, but I'd been around a crabby bird all of it. I had experience with this form of sulky behavior and was determined not to feel guilty. Trowa was my friend and a good cat. Wufei was just misinformed and angry over having been run out of the house. He could sit and stew if he liked, but I wasn't going to be a party to his manipulations. "I feel uncomfortable right now," I told him, stood, and crept closer to the door. Just then, Duo, Trowa, and Heero sprinted out the doorway right past me in a blur of fur. I turned to follow after and just caught a little of Miss Iria's screaming from inside the house. And then, worse yet, Mr. Tam's angry shouts! "Get it out! Out! Look what he did! Out!" That's when I understood what Trowa had done for me. Because he'd run the raccoon into the house, it would be the one blamed for the mess instead of my friends and me. Trowa had done that for me. "How can I ever repay you?" I asked him once we had all collected together by the furthest fence. "I'll think of something." He purred and stroked my fur with his rough tongue. "Not well planned," Wufei said, shaking his head disapprovingly. "Tch-tch." Duo took a deep breath and said in an off-hand tone, "Actually, I had a great time. And... I got to know this cat better." "Trowa." Trowa supplied his name. "Known him long?" Heero asked me. "Rather," I said, marveling at Trowa's competent cleverness. As I watched, his eyes darkened. He leaned over, nearly overpowering me with his musky scent. "Maybe I can conjure up a mental picture of what I'd like to try?" I honestly tried, but no images of my own would come! He whispered into my ear, and the tips of my ears burned. "Oh, my! Male cats could do that? With me?! Not now!" TBC
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