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"Mixed Blessings a Cat Tail "Written By: Kaeru Shisho Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Gundam Wing
or its characters, nor do I make any monetary profit off this story. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: AU, male/male pairings of a most ridiculous
nature; told from Quatre's point of view, so beware the fluff. Pairings: 1x2, 3x4 Summary: The GW boys are all cats finding their little paws in the big, bad world. For Dyna Dee. A/N: The author needs her head examined, as does
her friend and editor, Waterlily, who suggested it, but I wrote it
just the same in order to make you laugh and as an eleven chapter
gift to Dyna Dee! " Mixed Blessings a Cat Tail " Con-cat-enation My
digestive passages have formed a furball. Chapter 2-: Puuurfect Friends The next evening the rain ceased and Miss Iria and Mr. Tam went out "for dinner". She was excited and giggly and wore her noisy shoes that clicked on the wood floors. I was relieved to hear her happy voice again. She hadn't been happy at all when she came home to a dead dove decorating the doorstep! From the odd look she had given me, I believe she suspected me of killing the bird! Me?! I didn't do it! Rashid told me that she and Mr. Tam had an angry argument in their room, but hadn't been able to make out the words. I could only guess. I hid in the laundry room until they left. There, with very little else to do but let my mind wander, I wondered if it would be fun to go outside. Of course it would! Immediately I skittered across the newly cleaned and waxed floors to check the door to the garage. "Yay!" Exiting would be easy, since the door had been left ajar; although, I'd found a way to jiggle the handle to open it by this time anyway. An overheard light by the back porch shone dimly, providing more than enough light to see by. I required very little and pranced lightly across the bricks, avoiding the wettest spots. I stopped at the edge of the soaked grass and nosed at it. "Ugh!" The wind blew tattered clouds across the dark night sky. Trees cast shadows when they bent and the quaking leaves made me jumpy. I shivered. "Hey! He's here!" I heard Duo's shout from beyond the shrubbery. "Duo!" How wonderful! "I'm outside. The grass is nasty, though." His pale chest ruff appeared out of the gloom, and I could hear another cat, who I guessed must be his friend. All I could see of Heero were his eyes reflecting the patio light; they narrowed at me then immediately looked away, ears pricked. Duo bounded across the lawn, touching down nimbly before jumping up again, picking up droplets as he went. "Whew! Yeah, well, that's what fur's for, you know, protection from the elements." "Long fur can mat, though," I pointed out. "Eh, mat, schmat," Duo said in an odd chirp. I'd never heard voices like his and Heero's before and I wondered if all breeds spoke differently. As Duo sat and began licking at his damp fur, I noticed how very large and round Duo's paws were and tufted, well-designed for cleaning and the cold, I supposed. I could tell only the outer layer was dampened, which relieved me a little, knowing I'd been right thinking that he and Heero had been indoors out of the elements. The way he worked at removing the water without further comment, though, told me how much getting damp really did bother him—a lot more than he'd let on. Heero must have noticed, too, because he leaned over and helped lick the spots that were hard for Duo to reach. Such a thoughtful friend he could be! "I like the little dark tufts of hair on your ear tips," I told him politely. I suppose I had lavished Duo with too much attention, because Heero asserted himself between us. Although he wasn't as large a cat as Duo, he was far more imposing in nature. But I knew with Duo there he wouldn't hurt me, so I stood my ground and purred sweetly. When he didn't move, I leaned closer and licked his nose. "There! We are proper friends now." I think that startled him to his toes. His ears twitched, and I even think I could detect a purr rattling inside his chest. "It just occurred to me-" I looked from Duo to Heero and back again, attempting to guess if what I was about to say might anger them. I decided to chance it. "That first day I met you, you wondered if Heero had brought you a snack, a living mouse?" "I hadn't," Heero said. "Duo accidently rolled over and suffocated it when he was sleeping." "Yes, well, something's been puzzling me," I started off carefully picking out my words. I didn't want them to think I was wrongly accusing either of them. "Spit it out, Cat," Duo urged me. "Oh, yes, well, you see, I just put things together, and I am curious—not accusatory, mind you-!" "Cat! What is it?" I gathered my wits and found my voice. "You, neither of you, haven't left me little... treats... by the door, have you?" They both shook their head. Duo looked bemused, "You have a secret admirer." "Oh no!" There was no one! There couldn't be! "Maybe Relena's taking an interest in our pretty boy, eh 'Ro?" "Unlikely." He shook off a few water droplets but didn't bother with the rest. Short hair must be nice at times. "You have no security installed," Heero said. What was he talking about? "Pardon me? What's that?" I asked. "Security," Heero repeated. "Do you not know what that is?" "I certainly do! I have a very safe, comfortable home." "He means electronic security," Duo explained. "It's something the humans put up around their buildings to keep the bad guys at bay." "I don't understand. It's just a few mice, and a rat... although the little dove, that's a kind of bird, you know, the dead bird was so dreadfully awful. What bad guys?" This question seemed to please Heero. Apparently I had discovered his area of expertise: our little neighborhood's guard cat. "What you have sounds like a security problem. There has been a rash of break-ins in the area. People are calling Odin enterprises for upgrades and new installations to their security." "And you live in Mr. Odin's house?" I guessed—very cleverly, I thought. "Of course!" "Aw, 'Ro, how would he know? It was a good guess, Kitty Cat. Heero's main hobby is patrolling around his house trying not to set off Odin's security alarm system—" When he's not grooming your fur, I was thinking, and making rules. "I'm studying it and testing it, idiot!" "That's what I said. He's constantly trying to work it out." "Not constantly-" "Sometimes he ropes me into helping figure out how to get past the sensors." "It is fascinating stuff." "We'll have to show you the tiny cameras the human's got planted around. If you piss on them they spark!" "You shouldn't do that, Duo. It makes him mad and he has to replace them." "Heh, heh...yeah. That's too bad. I gotta get my jollies somehow, don't I?" And then Heero's entire demeanor changed. His purr deepened and his body became fluid as he smoothed up against and swirled around Duo's fluffier body. "Leave your jolly-getting to me." I recognized an inside joke when I heard one, so I looked away just in time to spot something moving in the trees near the fence. A streak, a blur, a shadow. Probably a squirrel. I opened my mouth to shout, but then remembered what happened the last time I pointed out a small animal to Duo. I didn't want to imperil this one's life and send Duo off to rout him, so I kept mute this time. The limb bent under a weight that meant it was a very big squirrel indeed. I thought maybe it might be something else, like an opossum or even a bear! Miss Iria was worried about both coming into our garden. She was worried about any creatures coming into her house, uninvited. "Duo," I said in a low warning voice. I wanted to alert him to the strange animal in the trees. Heero went to point, ears pitched to the left. He, apparently, heard something different. "Relena... again." "Maybe I should meet this Relena cat," I suggested. "She wouldn't be annoying you so much if she had more friends to play with." It sounded reasonable to me. Heero even nodded. "She might attach herself to you instead of me. It's worth the chance." And with that final word of dubious comfort, he bounded off in the direction of the hedge. "Eh, don't let him get to you. He's a tricky one, but you see he's been brought up in a lab since he was in a kitten." "Oh, my! Was he a test subject?" I didn't know exactly what that was, but I'd heard Miss Iria use the term and I know things were done to them. I know I never wanted to be one, that was for certain! "Not that he's told me, but he didn't get to socialize with other cats. Makes him a little odd." "You're very friendly and nice," I told Duo. "I assumed you two lived together in the same house." "Oh, no, but our owners know each other. When Howard moved into the neighborhood, that's when I got to know Heero." "Howard? You mentioned him before. Is he nice?" "Yeah, he's a pretty crazy inventor and spends most of his time locked away in his lab like Odin, but not as much." "So, you get out more?" "Oh, yeah, I'm super adventurous and like it outside mostly to look for... friends to play with. This fur is great insulation, even in the snow." "And you have natural snow-shoes!" He held up a furry foot and we both laughed. "Sure do!" "I bet you had dozens of siblings when you were little. Did Howard buy you as a kitten?" At that, Duo looked sad, and I wished I could take back my question. Things had been going along so well! "No. I, ah—" "You don't have to say, if it is too terrible for you." "Thanks, but I might as well get it over with. I don't remember too much, actually. Me and my brother escaped a house fire and hid in Howard's old car. That's how we got adopted." I wondered where his brother was, and then he told me. "Solo died of something shortly after, breathing problems after the fire, I think." "I am so sorry, Duo." "Yeah, me, too. He woulda liked you a lot. He liked snuggling in fur." "Who wouldn't! We are so lucky to have long fur—when it's cold." And then Duo made that cute, chirping sound again, making me laugh. "Yeah, that's a characteristic of a Main Coon cat. See the "M" on my forehead? It's easy to remember; an "M" for Maine Coon." "Yes, I remember you telling me that." "And speaking of long hair... Here comes Relena, that irritating little Persian from the house of evil breeders. Ho! She found Heero, surprise, surprise." "She seems to like Heero a lot." "That she does. Always tagging along and then, well, you'll see. Just listen." "What lovely yard this is! Oh, you must be the new cat!" Relena was a perfectly groomed, gorgeous, young cat. Very well bred. I decided to be very courteous—she would expect that. "I am and my name is Cat. So glad to make your acquaintance." "Nice to meet you, too, Mr...ah... Cat. So, Heero, what are we doing tonight?" "Duo and I are evaluating the security system on the property. I thought Cat should like to see what I have for comparison." "Oh, that sounds terribly interesting!" I could tell Relena was begging to come along and would possibly just join us, if permitted. Duo appeared cross. He didn't look as if he wanted her to interfere with his adventure. "Listen, sister," he began, putting a little swagger into his walk, "we have plans to go see the cows, maybe even some horses, and you won't wanna go there, I can tell you." "In that muddy field?! At night?! My fur will get all tangled and dirty! So will his! That might matter to him a lot, even though you, obviously, don't care what you look like." "What makes you think I don't care?" Duo screeched, not unlike Rashid, come to think of it. "I groom myself all the time! You think you Persians got the market cornered on good grooming?" "I am not a Persian! I'm an Angora-!" Relena opined. " Once again, I found my attention diverted to the treetops. Something, that same something I'd felt before, was there, I just knew it! "Duo! Heero! Something is up there watching us," I whispered. "Don't turn and look! You might scare it. I thought it was a squirrel—" "It's probably rats," Relena said. "Mill tells me not to go out at night because the rats are active. They steal food and carry nasty awful diseases." "I doubt that—"Duo started to say. Heero cut him short with, "—You could be right, Relena. You should go home immediately before the rats go after you. I must check that my defense perimeter is not impaired. Rats can bite through the electrical lines." That triggered the pretty Persian, no, Angora, cat into near hysteria! It took Heero promising to escort her to her own yard to convince her to leave. "She is excitable," I said to Duo when they had gone. "She seems lonely to me." "Oh, yeah, she's excitable, all right, but lonely? I don't know how she can be lonely in a house full of other cats. If she gave Heero a breather, I wouldn't mind her snooping around as much. She was partially responsible for me and Heero getting to be friends, you know." "Really? Tell me about how you met!" "Well, the short of it is, she spotted 'Ro right off and just adored him. I'd had an eye on him for a few days but hadn't found a way to get close, so when I heard them strolling about, I hopped to and tried to interfere. Somehow Heero thought I was going to hurt her, I think, and batted me away. I ended up scratching Heero, not bad, but it earned me a little respect. You see, no cat had ever messed in his territory before, or dared to touch him. After that we got along swell." His smile faded with a not so nice memory. "Mostly." "Mostly?" "I was just remembering something less than great. Man, it was our first kiss and I starting hacking up furballs!" Kiss? I wondered about kissing between two friends and decided that the pair must be especially close. "And you are best of friends! Right?" "Yeah, and you're one, too, Cat. You, too." (o) Although Duo's kind words made me feel all warm and ready to snuggle, I was eager to follow him to see where Heero lived. His garden wasn't very pretty. The lawn was weedy but mowed short and the plantings were minimal, just trees around the fence line. No wonder he liked to visit our properties! I felt bad for him, but then he didn't seem the least bit affected or embarrassed by it. I guessed that he probably never noticed all the beautiful flowers in my garden, or cared, so he wasn't missing anything. "Here is camera one, as Odin labeled it." I peered into a tiny, glass circle. "What does it do?" Pleased by my question, Heero sat straight and purred softly. "It sees you and sends what it sees back to... a... device that stores it. Odin can look at the 'feed' at a later time to learn what happened in this location." "A copy of me?" "And everything else passing in front of the opening. I have seen him staring at the images. They are colorless, but otherwise exactly like. I've seen my face staring back at me." "No!" "Absolutely." Unbelievable, but Heero was not the sort of cat you'd doubt, at least to his face. "Neat!" Duo had hooked a paw under a thin, black, plastic snake—not a real one. "This is what the pictures go into all the way to the house." That was ridiculous. I wasn't about to fall for that trick. "You're testing how silly a thing I'll believe, right?" "Not at all. Hey, 'Ro! Can we go inside and see the 'playback'?" "If the door is still open, we can go in. Odin locks me in at night to be safe, but after the rain he felt sorry for me and let me out," Heero explained. Duo chuckled. "Yeah, he must have learned cat care from Howie: 'Is your cat running around madly today?' 'Why, yes, yes he is. Is yours?' "Damn thing is crazy as a loon, knocking things over, destroying my papers. What do you think has got into them?' 'Must be the weather. Been indoors for days. I say we toss them outside for the night. See how they like that!' 'Good idea, Howard. I... I-I... shall see to it... um... right away.'" Heero had started licking Duo's ears. I found their intimate contact stimulating. I missed being groomed by another cat, my mother was a distant memory. Duo purred. "I think the conversation went something like that." "It may have been," Heero purred. "We did end up turned out about the same time. Follow me and avoid touching the metal tabs around windows and wires." The cat door was open, so we crawled through the opening one at a time. I was last and had to sit and blink several times to adapt to the light after the darkness of the garden. "I'm not promising a show. If the devices aren't running, there is nothing I can do to operate them." "We know, babe. No expectations." "Wire," Heero said, pointing out a very fine plastic snake the size of a mouse tail. One claw hooked it. "One bite and it's damaged." "Did you bite one once?" I asked. I wasn't accusing him of being naughty. He'd simply left me hanging. His eyes slid over me. "No." "I did," Duo offered. "My bad. Not a tail." As much as I wanted to inspect each and every room we passed, I feared they would leave me behind if I veered off course, so I pitter-pattered on my little, white-tipped toes as fast as I could. And still I barely kept up! "This is the war room," Heero intoned in as serious a manner as I ever heard come from Rashid's beak. He got down to business immediately, showing me Odin's office. "War?!" What war? "Where Odin reviews his tapes, his audio feeds, and digital recordings. He is at war with the lawbreakers." Duo calmly nosed around the room, not participating in our conversation. I suppose he'd seen it all before and, since there were no vermin to extract, was looking for the warmest spot to curl up. Clearly, Heero was not going to offer refreshments or Duo would be nosing around for that. I caught the tail-end of Heero's remarks. "-monitors and controls the security," He sat upon a keyboard. I recognized it from one Mister Tam and Miss Iria typed on every day. "You shouldn't sit on that," I warned him. "It presses the keys that operate the box." "I know that!" He spat at me. "Chill, babe. You're a tetchy one tonight," Duo said as he smoothed up against the brown cat. His caress worked its magic again and Heero's bristling fur settled back into place. I noticed, however, that Heero rose off the keyboard and stood to the side. "I plan to spend more time learning how the 'computer' box works so that I, too, can see the information." "Hey, 'Ro? Can we split now? I wanna show Cat the cows." "That's in the field," Heero said. He stared out the window into the distance, quiet and thoughtful a moment. "Relena was right, it will be muddy." "If it's too bad we can put it off then. I just wanna try." "It's your fur. All right." Heero may have been a little gruff, but it seemed to me that Heero didn't deny Duo very much of what he wanted. I wasn't fond of the tall grass, leaping a fallen tree with its hidden skittering noises and landing in something soft and gooey. So when we came upon the field, grass and mud for as far as I could see, I was no longer feeling adventurous. "What's out there?" "Big animals," Duo announced, "Like cows and horses. And plenty of mice and moles to chase or dig for." I patted the moist ground. "It's wet." "I told you," Heero said. "Give it more time, Duo, to dry out." It wouldn't do to become entangled in grass and wet earth and then put in an appearance at home. "If I come home dirty—" What would Miss Iria say? What would she do? "I'll be given a ... bath." I had Duo's sympathy immediately. "Bath?" he even shivered. "I got you, man. Hate those. Okay. Message received loud and clear. We'll go home and try tomorrow afternoon? Sound good to you?" I thought it was cute that he asked Heero before me. Duo needed Heero's approval like a kitten. "Yes." "It's fine with me, too," I said, laughing at them. In the far distance, I could make out dark moving shapes the size of houses! The chill air brought the strong, fresh odors of animals and a low, "moooo" noise. I shivered as much out of fear as with cold, probably more so considering all my fur. "I appreciate that," I said, and I meant it. I just might be able to take in all the new experiences in the light of day. Nice warm sun would change the scene from mysterious to pastoral. I hoped. "We should walk him back," Heero commented. "I would so appreciate that!" I said, acknowledging that had no idea which way was which. "And it's pretty creepy cool in the dark, isn't it?" Duo chuckled and hurried ahead. He loved to be the leader, which was fine with me. With Heero playing rear guard, I felt neatly tucked in and safe. Don't travel alone, he'd warned. "There's your fence," Duo said. "You'll be all right from here out." "Oh, yes, thank you!" I was ever so grateful to them for their thoughtfulness and never once calling me a scaredy-cat. I really didn't think I was being uncommonly fearful, just wisely cautious. Rather than climb the fence- I had my doubts about doing the job cleanly with my still very-trim claws- I pushed through the hedge. I ripped out a hunk of fur, which was painful and just the initial tug frightened me out of my wits. I thought I'd been trapped! I howled! I hated losing that fur, but I was in a mad rush to get free. So, I was very edgy as I entered my garden and didn't feel all cozy and safe, my usual feelings of well-being, when I was home. I didn't help that I heard strange sounds coming from the treetops. Not that I was in any way feeling particularly brave, but I felt the need to assert myself before running to safety indoors. A territorial instinct can lead one to doing the most incredibly stupid things, I was discovering. "Go away!" I yowled in my biggest voice. "This is my home and you are not invited. Now go!" This announcement was watched by a resounding crash of something heavy dropping out of the higher braches and landing on a lower limb. The hair on my back rose. I wanted to bolt, but instead, my feet remained glued in place and I held my ground. I was curious what the creature was, of course, and I hadn't long to wait. When it turned it's glowing eyes on me I recognized the masked face that went with the striped tail. A raccoon! A whopping big one! And it had rows of sharp teeth for tearing flesh from bones and claws like Rashid's, and I knew how he could rip apart anything in a moment of ire! What was I to do? I couldn't make it to the cat door if the raccoon wanted a piece of me, because he could just leap and be on me in a second. At the moment, he seemed to be sizing me up- dinner or disaster? As long as I didn't move it seemed to be a stalemate, although, in all reality, I knew that wouldn't last much longer. I heard another voice, a scarier sound than any I'd heard yet, coming from the far fence. Whatever THAT was, it was coming closer. The raccoon's head immediately turned in that direction; its entire body went ridged and its fur was on end. Whatever creature the newcomer was it had to be terrible to alarm even this giant, full-grown raccoon! Then came the snake-like hissing. Oh, my! I had never, ever been so frightened in all my life! But I couldn't move! I stood entranced, until the raccoon's eyes went wide, ears flattened, and it lunged out of the tree, but not at me! It soared from the tree branch to the fence and from there, well, I can't say. I did not investigate any longer. I didn't even think. I don't remember running. I came to as I dove for my little flap door entry into the garage and from there to my basket in the laundry. Home at last. Safe and sound. But what was that? A gigantic snake hunting raccoons at night? I didn't want to imagine what that must look like, so I consoled myself thinking I'd question Duo and Heero sometime, but for the night I would think of comfy things, soft things, and safe and welcoming things. (o) The next day, as promised, I scooted out the door outside to meet Heero and Duo. The sun shone down on us in all its glory. I'd had my lunch and a nap and was ready to run with my friends. All thoughts of rogue raccoons and their snaky predators wiped clean away by the bright, happy sun. We walked for miles, it seemed. I stopped paying attention to my surroundings and focused on where I stepped. I was avoiding a particularly fragrant pile of "processed grass" as Heero called the dung pile, when I ran into Duo's back leg. He'd come to a halt under a shady bower, the nature of which I hadn't determined. Yet. "Boviniferous!" Duo cried out in his odd little chirpy voice. "Bovine—what?" I asked. "Oh, bovine means cow. I see... OH! My! It is so large!" Our shady spot was the shade produced by a single cow. The animal towered overhead. "We shouldn't stand under one," Heero said, moving to the side. "It might crush us." I dashed ahead and turned in time to see a great big eye looking right at me. A big brown eye heavily curtained by the longest eyelashes I'd ever seen. "AH!" "Moooo!" Dear me, did I scat out of that field! So big, so loud, so... stinky! I could hear Duo laughing behind me and I slowed to give him a piece of my mind. Try as I would, though, he just made me start laughing too. He meant well. "So, I'm guessing you don't wanna see the horses, huh?" "Are they big, too?" "Taller." "Loud?" "Oh, yeah." "Smelly?" "Nailed them to a 'T'." "No, thank you." "Gotcha." The cow scare brought back memories of the haunted night before- raccoons and giant snakes. "Have you ever fought a raccoon?" "No," Heero answered for the both of them. "Stay away from them. They carry rabies." I didn't know what "rabies" were. I hadn't noticed the raccoon in my tree carrying anything, but I had no problem wanting to stay clear of all raccoons, nevertheless. "I was planning on that, but one came into my garden last night as I was coming home." "Big one?" Duo asked with an excited gleam in his eye. "Very. I didn't know what to do, but then a horrible snake, at least, it sounded like a snake of gigantic proportions, chased it away." "You saw a snake?" Heero's interest was piqued now. "I didn't see it. I heard it hissing. The raccoon took off as if it's tail were on fire. So did I." "Man, you have some cool adventures. I sure would like to have gotten a look at that snake. Maybe we out to go sniff around for it?" "No." Heero make no further explanation and just trotted by him. "I'm going back for a drink of clean water." I guessed that Heero didn't like snakes or raccoons or both and wished to avoid a confrontation. Yay, Heero! "I'm thirsty, too," I said to move us in that direction and show Heero he had all my support. "No need. There's a pond around here." Duo jumped upon a rock and looked around. "Hey, wouldya looka that!" I looked in the direction Duo indicated and saw... nothing. "Duo, leave him be," Heero suggested in a calm, controlled, almost bored voice. "Oh, Heero, you know I'd love to, just to please you, but I can't. I really, really can't." And with that said, the big fluffy Maine Coon cat romped over the clumps of grass, heading for what I could see as taller clumps of grass. "What is he doing?" I asked. "Greeting another friend in a manner that will not be appreciated," Heero told me. "We should hurry to catch up." So, I ran full speed ahead in time to see a pretty Siamese cat flipping something shiny over by the side of a muddy pond. I heard Duo. If one was in his wide-ranging vicinity, I guessed, one could always hear his voice. And then Duo appeared to cuff him, sending the shiny object to the sandy shore. It was a fish! "Don't hurt it!" I shouted, mostly at Duo who I thought had tried to steal it from the other cat, or possibly save it. With Duo, as sweet a cat as he was, one couldn't tell his motivation for certain. Duo had never tried to curb his inner cat. Antiviolence he wasn't. Not yet. While I was marveling over the pretty, glistening fish flip-flopping its way back into the water, the Siamese, bristling with indignation, appeared ready to shred Duo. Heero raced between the cats, perhaps to stave off a cat fight before it started. "That was very kind of you to toss it back," Heero said. He made it sound like a threat. "Are you insane, you-?!" The Siamese continued sputtering vindictive remarks of which all I could make out was: "The injustice! It was mine, all mine! I'll rip your head off for that!" "Poor fish must have jumped out of the water. It would have died had you not batted it back." Heero said this very slowly, all the while holding the other cat's attention with his steady glare. "Batted it back?! You think I—what?!" The Siamese took a step closer to the Burmese and stuck out his neck, hissing. "It was mine!" "Watch what you say. Our new friend is a pacifist." I suddenly loved Heero for what he was attempting to do. He didn't want his fish-hunting friend to make a bad impression. "Our new—what?" At this point he noticed eyes and his met and his mouth snapped shut. "What were you doing with the little fish?" I asked. "Poor, innocent little fishies deserve to swim free, don't they? You're not starving." Clearly, he knew he was doing a bad thing, hurting the peaceful that instant, I could feel that he didn't want to pick a fight with three cats, but he was a proud tom. If we were to become friends, I would need to give him an honorable and easy way out of his uncomfortable situation. He'd been caught fish-in-maw, so to speak. "This is a new friend of ours, name of Cat," Heero said. "Cat, this is Wufei, one of the highly esteemed Long Clan Koi pond guard cats." "Were you just playing with the fish?" I asked. "Yeah, yeah... He tries to save them from drowning," Duo put in with a heavy helping of sarcasm. "Helping them out a bit to warm up and dry off in the sun. Isn't that right, Fei?" Wufei's eyes went wide and then narrowed, wary of tricks. Duo seemed delighted over something. He was purring and nearly dancing in place. "Oops! The cat's outta the bag, eh, Fei-the-Fish-Meister?" Wufei bared his fangs, but didn't trade barbs with the Maine Coon. I waited patiently for him to choose the absurd answer that suited him. He did even better and crafted a fresh lie. "It is my job to cull the sick Koi from the healthy to keep the stock strong," he said at last. "I practice here." "Practice, yes!" Duo chortled. "Don't mistake this for one of the Long Clan pools, Oh, no! This is an ordinary watering hole for livestock. How ingenious of you to practice on the common fish." I could tell this Wufei was working himself up to strike out at Duo, and that could bring Heero into the fray. I didn't want a fight to mark the beginning of a new friendship, so I smoothed up against the Siamese, tickling his nose with my fluffy tail, and looked as playful as I could. "You really like fish, don't you?" "Yes! Yes, I do." "That's perfectly understandable. Miss Iria's special man-friend brought me fish, a whole aquarium of them. You must come over and see them!" Duo groaned. "Oh Bastet, no... save us......" I watched as Wufei opened his mouth and caught a bit of drool with his pink tongue. "I'd be honored," Wufei said with an elegant nod. "How soon?" "We can go now, if the rest of you are interested. Miss Iria and Mr. Tam are going out again. I heard them making plans before I left. We'll have the entire house to ourselves, well, us and Rashid." "And the fish," Wufei added in a rush. "Of course." "Yes, and the fish." Wufei and I led the way; Heero and Duo walked behind. I have very good hearing and am a good listener. Out of one ear, I could hear Wufei telling me about himself, and when I tilted the other to the back, I overheard Duo talking to Heero. "—gonna be something else, what with the serial killer of pretty fish—Hey you saw him salivating at the thought of a whole aquarium...!" I turned that ear back around and concentrated on what Wufei was saying. Serial killer, my goodness! Duo had such an imagination! "- Professor Long, who teaches Chinese Literature at the university, is a collector. I live in rooms filled with priceless antiques." "It must be so hard," I sympathized, "to have to be so very dignified and well-behaved at home." "Very, very hard. Never to touch the ancient manuscripts and porcelain ornaments!" he joined in. "You too live in a museum?" "Practically. I'm a very good kitty, but it's hard." I hoped that a little commiseration would help us bond. He leaned his elegant neck my way. "I have a very grand pedigree, you know, but when I get outside the clan holdings I get a little—" "Wild?" I ventured this idea, but thought "crazy". Most cats like to fantasize themselves as wildcats. And Wufei was one of those. "Yes. Wild. Yes. I keep myself under tight control when duty calls, of course." "Oh, of course. I wouldn't have invited you over to my house if you weren't!" I think we understood one another perfectly. He smiled at me. "Who have you introduced him to?" the Siamese asked Heero, ignoring Duo completely. He looked down his nose at Duo, which was quite a feat considering the Maine coon was the far bigger cat! "Us." "And Relena- can't forget her," Duo put in. "Part of the Pampered, Pedigreed Persian Pack." "She is not-!" Wufei whined in the most obnoxious whining yowl. He must have noticed our group wince. He closed his eyes and drew a breath and began again, far more controlled. "They are Turkish Angoras, not Persians with the pushed-in faces. The Angoras are far more attractive and rare." I knew Wufei was right; at least, Relena had said she was an Angora. And at that, Duo groaned and then started a new rant. "Know-it-all! He's a total house-angel-street-devil who's obsessed with fish and slurping them down—" I hurried Wufei along and hoped he was a little deaf like other Siamese purebreds I'd heard about—for Duo's sake. Wufei seemed a proud cat who wouldn't let an insult pass by him uncontested. TBC
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