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"Illuminate"Written By: Jo Disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing and I
have nothing valuable. I made absolutely no money from this besides
a few tears I wrangled from a certain someone someone. I write for
the fun of it. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: Non-specific post E.W. Sap with a splash
of lemon. Kind of PWP. Heero’s POV Pairings: 1x2 Summary: I suppose you can call this a song fic, sort of. It came to me after I’ve listened, repeatedly, to a Japanese song titled (loosely translated) The light through the night. Not that my Japanese is that great but it gives me a feeling that I just can’t shake. So…there….^^;; Feedback: Love some! Pretty please! Many many many thanks to the awesome Andie, Lucid
Nightmare, and Ryouga for superb beta-ing!
We haven’t been here for a while. Here, in our house, in our room overlooking our garden, your garden. The tarp you use to cover your seedlings from the freezing night is visible even in the pitch black of the deep night. You’ve started your garden early this year. I wonder what kind of plants they are. I wonder if you’ve planted zucchinis again, if we have to eat everything zucchini by summer’s end. Just like last year and the year before. I love zucchinis. I haven’t seen you like this for a long time. Your hair unbound and cascading carelessly down your back. Your eyes, deep pools of gentleness, your passion barely wrapped under paper-thin control. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Are there candles in the room? Did you know that I was coming home tonight? Did you plan this? Or have you been waiting night after night? Like this? It makes me sick to my stomach thinking that you might have, and yet it excites me to no end. Would you be disappointed that I am nothing but a selfish man of flesh and blood? Our dog barked at me when I walked through the door tonight. Perhaps he barked because I snuck into our house like a thief, quiet and nervous. I kicked over a chair on the way up here. The chair knocked over stacks of your books. The one I picked up is dog-eared with faded yellow lines on almost every page. It made me smile thinking just how excited you must have been to highlight every single line. I would have loved to see the light in your eyes. I recognize the pajama top you are wearing. It’s cotton with blue and green vertical stripes running rampant. It’s the ugliest thing I’ve ever given you but you wear it all the time. You said it’s to remind me that I am the one who ends up looking at it instead of you. You look good in anything. Or nothing at all. It really has been a while, hasn’t it? It’s been so long that I’m afraid to come close to you. I’m nailed to the floor before the bed where you kneel on you knees, smiling warmly up at me. You’ve left all the buttons on your pajama top undone save for the one right at your navel. The little white disc sits dangerously half in and half out of the buttonhole. I wish it would make up its mind. I know you are not wearing anything else underneath. You reach for me with your warm hands, knowing that I need all the help and reassurance I can get. I let you draw me to your light, your warmth and your fire. It’s been far too long. I’d forgotten how good it feels to have you in my arms like this. I bury my face in your hair and muffle a laugh, amazed and amused at how naturally my hands move under the thin cotton that separates us. It came off quickly, dropping to the floor in a limp heap by the bed. What a sight it would be in the morning next to my standard issue uniform, crumpled and sweat soaked. I love watching you when we make love. I love how your body reacts to every touch of my hand, every flick of my tongue, and every soft deliberate breath I blow across your trembling skin. I love looking up from between your legs and find your face twisted in pleasure, your body arching off the bed. You always say it scares you that I never make a sound during our lovemaking. You think it’s not healthy but how could I? I’m afraid of releasing my secrets into the void of the cold empty world, I’m afraid of letting my ignited soul fly free, and I’m afraid of sobbing like a child. Would you think me weak? Would you think me ridiculous? Or would you hold me in your arms until my tears subside? I love the way you look when I slide into you. Your eyes are clouded, unable to focus, your teeth biting down on your bottom lip before that tiny gasp of surprise is released. I love the way you look when I move inside you. Beads of sweat nestling on your furrowed brows and your full lips quiver with short pants of breath. Where I am silent, you make up for it. The sounds you make reverberate even in my soul. How I’ve ached to be here, with your long legs wrapped around my waist and your nails scratching white heated passion down my back. Some times your nails dig so hard and so deep into my skin that you’d draw blood, and each time after we made love, I would wake in the middle of the night and tear myself from your side. I would sneak into the bathroom, turn on the light, and stand in front of the mirror pretending I am a dog chasing its own tail. I just wanted to see the marks you left. I never minded the scratch marks but I do mind your apologies in the morning. Sometimes when I can’t see them I would press my naked back to the cold white bathroom tiles, savoring the sting of initial contact. I would stay there with my back pressed up against the bathroom wall until the pain dulls, my legs protest, and my erection returns in a furious rush. That’s when I crawl back in bed, like now. Sometimes I wake you, sometimes I don’t. Like now. It’s been a long time since we slept front to back like this. I’ve missed you. You said that we both have choices, you said that being able to choose is not a luxury anymore but rather an integral part of life. It’s taken me a long time but I’ve decided. Things that you let slipped in heated moments but regret the next, things that you’ve fixed your longing gaze at, and things that I’ve chosen to ignore on our bad days. And I will tell you in the morning, that it’s been too long.
Owari~!
Yes…it’s odd that a song about Kubo-chan and Tokitoh inspired me to write about Heero and Duo…*laughs* but I guess that’s how muses work sometimes.
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