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"For You, I Will "Written By: Jewel of Hell Disclaimer: Don't own nothin' but these words Rating: NC 17 Warnings: Yaoi, lemon, language, violence, torture, abuse, character death (sort of), misuse of electricity, telepathy, politics, Sci-fi, crossover, AU Pairings: 1x2, other Summary: Crossover w/ Stargate: SG-1. On an alien
planet, Colonel Jack O'Neill and the rest of SG-1 find a sick young
man and take him home. Unwittingly unleashing a great threat on the
SGC as the boy isn't all he seems . . . " For You, I Will "
"Duo, I'm going to be helping Trowa and Wufei build the neuro-connectors. You need rest, more than anything. Doctor Fraiser said you're beginning to mend well, but you still have a long way to go. Quatre, please stay with him. I really don't want him to be alone right now." Heero, Duo reflected, always knew what was best for his lover, whether it was what Duo wanted or not. He felt worn out. Physically, emotionally worn out. Back on Desaine, his only thoughts had been for escape. Here, safe and mending, Duo's mind was able to wander. It wandered dark, dark places. He'd given no thought at all to how difficult it would be to go on without Heero. The torture they'd suffered, Duo had only made it through all that because of Heero. It was like suddenly losing an arm. How could one learn to go on without when so dependent upon it? Quatre had promised Heero he wouldn't leave Duo alone, not even for a moment. Did Heero see that darkness shadowing Duo's eyes? Understand what he didn't say? What he barely allowed himself to feel? That he would rather die than face the rest of his life being able to see Heero, hear him, but never touch him or feel him again? It was like dangling a piece of meat in front of a starving cat. Always out of reach. Tears stung his eyes. They burned - he'd been crying so much these last two days that his eyes were dry and raw. He knew it was partially due to the virus that his emotions were all over the place, but that only made all this so much harder to deal with, not easier. He jumped when warm, caring arms surrounded him. Quatre's soft scent filled his nose, his gentle sympathy filled his mind. "Don't cry, Duo," Quatre whispered in his ear, squeezing gently. Closing his eyes tightly, Duo tried to imagine it was Heero holding him. But the feel of their embraces was intrinsically different. Quatre was soft and gentle and caring. Heero was hard and cold and tender. Quatre's was a fresh scent not unlike pine, Heero's was sharp like gunpowder. His fingers dug into Quatre's arm, trying to ignore the differences and focus on the warmth. I want him I want him I want him I want him . . . A mantra. Another form of torture. Their most effective yet, actually. The tears started afresh. "What would you do, Quat, if you couldn't touch Trowa again?" He felt Quatre's pause. "I don't know," came the soft reply. "I really don't." Duo buried his face in the crook of Quatre's elbow, smearing the moisture of his tears on smooth skin. "Leave me alone," he mumbled, wanting silence. Solitude. Darkness. Abruptly his mind was being smothered by Quatre's affection. "Not a chance," the blonde murmured. "I recognize that train of thought even if I can't hear it. I won't let you leave, Duo. Not like this." "Selfish ass!" Duo snarled, getting his hands underneath him and shoving up with as much strength as he could muster. He managed to dislodge his friend. "You don't know what's best for me!" "No one does," Quatre agreed readily, sitting on the edge of the bed, "but at the moment, neither do you. How would Heero feel, if you abandoned him now?" Duo's eyes widened in horror. How must Heero feel, every bit as isolated from Duo as Duo was from him? He knew Heero's mind as well as he knew his own. Heero had always been comforted by the fact that he could hold his beloved, soothe his fears and pain with the caress of a hand. He was the protector, and he took his role seriously. Moaning wretchedly, Duo collapsed into Quatre's lap, clinging tightly. Those warm arms came around him at once. "I want him, Quat," he sobbed. "I don't want anyone else." "I know," Quatre murmured, rubbing his hands over Duo's back. "Don't mire yourself too much in despair. We might find a way to bring him back, yet." Though it was a pitiful attempt, Duo snorted and managed a tiny smile. "Yeah." o8o o8o During the next three days, Heero was overwhelmed by the tasks he set himself. He made sure to check in on Duo at least once an hour, let his love know he wasn't forgotten. He wanted to finish the neuro-connectors before they attempted to put him back in his own body, because the information he could find while a computer program was more easily accessible. He also finished the Gundam blueprints for the same reason. Lastly, he wrote a whole new program that would store his subconscious for that time period to 'download' him back into his body. He figured it would be easier to transfer a single program instead of multiple ones. Sam had narrowed the focus of her super computer. Instead of building a giant information-storing machine, she was building one to streamline the process of the transfer. As a result she finished even sooner than expected, and Heero was inexplicably nervous. Doctor Fraiser had set up a mini-infirmary in one of the med-labs, ready to remove Heero's body from the stasis tank and hook him up to life support, since he wouldn't function without his life's essence. She and her best staff were standing by to aid in the process, ready to administer treatment if something went wrong. Last, Heero wrote a second, back-up program that would restore everything to default if the transfer was unsuccessful. This minimized the risk to himself. Some of his new growth would be lost, but he didn't mind. He could grow back. "It may take a few tries," Sam cautioned. "We only did this once before, and the circumstances were a little different." "That's fine," Heero said, watching as Doctor Fraiser began opening the stasis tank. o8o o8o Zechs Marquise paced the isolation room. These were far more decent than the cells in any military compound on Desaine. There was a bed and adjacent bathroom. What was going on out there? Surely they wouldn't make him wait around without coming to see him? General Hammond had ordered him locked up as soon as he arrived, and he supposed that was fair. But he was almost desperate to know what was going on. Fortunately, Wufei didn't have a cruel streak. Or at least, he chose to ignore it. He came into Zechs' room with a stormy look in his gleaming, ebony eyes. They were colder than usual. For a moment he stood in silence, and Zechs used that time to silently admire him. The youth was too gorgeous for his own good. Slanted almond eyes the color of obsidian, like carved chips of ice. Hair the exact same shade, pulled back into a severe ponytail. Zechs had always thought Wufei wanted to be taken seriously, so he wore his hair like that to seem older. There was nothing effeminate about his face - his beauty was all masculine. Wufei's gaze became a scathing glare. "What?" he snapped. Zechs allowed a hint of a smile, a hint of warmth creep into his eyes. "Just thinking what an attractive young man you are." To his disappointment, Wufei reacted only by giving him a smile so frosty he nearly shivered. "Don't attempt to distract me. As far as I can see, you're still as guilty of betraying us as you were before. Since you're responsible for Heero's current condition, bringing his body to us isn't a way of making reparations." Zechs took a deep breath. "I've told you -" "Yes, you told me your half-assed reasons. I say, not good enough. If these Earthers weren't so against it, I would kill you myself. That would go a long way toward reparation." There wasn't, Zechs noted grimly, a hint of bravado in Wufei's frozen eyes. The young man was deadly serious, and only bitter hatred shone in his eyes. Not a shred of forgiveness. "What can I do, then?" he asked quietly. That frozen rictus of a smile tightened over Wufei's lips. "You could kill yourself," he offered. He tossed Zechs a long knife. "Understand. I want someone to blame for the injustice wrought upon these two. Since I can't kill everyone in the DCG, you're handy." What a strange thing to say. Zechs looked up into Wufei's eyes, a little startled. There didn't seem to be any give. So then . . . ? Taking a single step forward, Zechs dropped to his knees in front of Wufei, placing his hands flat on the floor in a gesture of submission. "Please, accept my humblest apologies," he murmured. "Please, Wufei. Forgive me." He kept his head low, but he watched Wufei as he quietly begged. For a long time, ebony eyes regarded him in stony silence. Finally, finally the young man appeared moved. There was the slightest softening of black, and Wufei took a step back toward the door, reaching for the handle. "If Heero makes it through this," he said coldly, "maybe." o8o o8o Trowa watched as Doctor Fraiser ordered her team to lift Heero's prone form out of the stasis tank onto the waiting bed. His brother's body was wet from the viscous fluid in the tank, but Fraiser did little more than wipe off his face. It took about forty seconds for her to have him hooked up to the equipment she called life support. It would breathe for him and mimic all the functions of a body. Once her monitoring equipment was in place, Trowa admired how efficient she was. The petite brunette nodded to Sam. "All right, Heero," Sam said, bringing her super computer online. "This computer is still hooked up to the base. Transfer yourself completely to its matrix, and I'll disconnect it from the base mainframe. It'll prevent any damage coming to our computers should there be some kind of feedback." Heero, face on the monitor on the wall, nodded and disappeared. It took him almost ten minutes to comply, letting Trowa know just exactly how much his brother had grown. Well, in all fairness, mundane computers were never built to house a sentient mind. Especially not a mind like Heero's. His face appeared on the monitor of the super computer. "I'm out," he said. Sam pulled the big cable off the breaker on the wall, and fifteen seconds later the gate room sargeant's voice said, "We have control back, General Hammond." Hammond just nodded. "You ready, son?" Though Trowa could see his brother's anxiety, Heero merely nodded. Hammond looked at Sam. "Do it." Doctor Fraiser hooked electrodes up to Heero's temples and the base of his skull. Trowa held his breath as the transfer began. o8o o8o Doctor Fraiser anxiously watched her monitoring equipment. The one time she'd done something similar to this with Sam had been just as touch-and-go. Even if this failed, part of the doctor wondered if it might not be better for Heero if he died rather than be trapped in a computer program with nowhere to go. She shook her head. This was going to work. It has to. It seemed to take forever. Fraiser didn't take for granted the sheer scope of the mind as she kept her eyes on her monitoring instruments. Heero's body had been in stasis for months, probably close to a year. Revival would take time. And great care. As she watched, the lights blinking on Sam's computer went dark, and Janet's instruments all went crazy. Activity for a split second, the transfer was a success. Life signs. Then a high-pitched, single-tone wail filled the air. "He's in defib!" Fraiser barked, leaping into action. The monitor continued to flatline as her orderlies prepared the paddles, and she laid them flat on the boy's chest. "Clear!" Heero's slim body jolted off the bed, no results. She ordered the machine amped and tried again. Still nothing. Come on, come on, she thought desperately. Third time's the charm, right? Once more, an even higher setting. For a moment, nothing. Then, just as she was about to try a fourth time, the wail broke into a tentative beep. Yes! That's it. "We have a pulse," her orderly said unnecessarily. "He's stabilizing," Fraiser announced to her audience, accepting the IV bag and drip from her orderly. "Heart rate and respiratory rising." The electrodes showed increasing brain activity, as well. She smiled up at Hammond. "It's working." o8o o8o Trowa released a breath he hadn't been aware of holding. It was working. The tension bled away. To replaced by something else a split second later. "It's working! Wufei, it's working! Doctor Fraiser says life-signs are returning to normal." "I'm on my way," Wufei's thoughts filled his mind with cool calm. "He's waking," Fraiser said, motioning to one of her aides. "Let's remove the breathing tube. Heero? Can you hear me? Try to stay calm." It took every ounce of will power Trowa possessed not to shove his way to his brother's side. "Heero?" he said gently, knowing his brother would be weak - and therefore sensitive. "I . . . can hear you . . . Trowa," his brother replied. His mental voice was appallingly weak. But that was telepathy. For several disconcerting moments Trowa thought he might faint. "It worked. It actually worked. I can't believe it. I thought it would fail." "Have a little more faith in me, brother," Heero thought, amused. "Shit, I feel weak. I wanted to jump up and run to Duo, to surprise him. I can't even sit up." "I'm not surprised. Let yourself rest for awhile. Quatre's with Duo - he'll be all right for the time being." Their eyes met over the heads of the busy doctors and nurses, and Trowa gave his younger brother a reassuring smile. "Let's get him to the infirmary," Doctor Fraiser said. o8o o8o "Get some sleep, tonight, Duo," Trowa had said. "Tomorrow, we have a surprise for you." Duo couldn't imagine what the surprise might be, nor how it would ever make him feel any better. He knew his black mood wore on Quatre, so he tried to cheer up during the day. He was sure his attempts felt as hollow to Quatre as they did to him, but he could tell his best friend appreciated the effort. They watched a TV show called The Simpsons because Colonel O'Neill had recommended it, but Duo wasn't sure what to make of it. Daniel recommended something far more interesting, a comprehensive history of one of Earth's more fascinating cultures: ancient Egypt. Both Duo and Quatre enjoyed it. By night Duo had forgotten the promise of a surprise and collapsed into sleep filled with troubled dreams. He woke late the next morning to find Quatre wrapped around him, which was strangely comforting and filled Duo with longing. "Finally awake?" Quatre murmured, sitting up. Duo nodded, rather wishing he weren't. He slowly sat up, bowing forward slightly. "Ugh. I feel sick, Quatre." "You're just hungry. Here, I brought some toast and eggs." The thought of food made Duo's uneasy stomach churn, but he obediently ate it. To his surprise, it quieted the nausea. He'd no sooner finished his last bite than Doctor Fraiser swept in with her usual lack of concern for privacy. The petite brunette wore a bright smile. "Good morning. Feeling better today?" "A little better every day," Duo confirmed, submitting to her needle. She injected the antivirus into him, and Duo endured the strange rush of dizziness that always accompanied it. It was over quickly, and he waited while she physically examined him. Once she seemed satisfied, she left. Duo wanted to lay right back down, but Quatre urged him up. "Go take a shower. Don't you remember what Trowa told you? We have a surprise for you." Duo didn't feel like going anywhere, but a low-level excitement hummed in the back of Quatre's mind that convinced Duo to get up. Maybe his friends had something in mind that would make him feel better. He at least owed it to them to try. So he got up and showered, and that made him feel more human. Quatre sat him down and brushed his hair until it was mostly dry, then braided it loosely. "Come on." Quatre led Duo down the halls right, to Duo's dismay, toward the infirmary. This was less and less promising. Quatre sensed his mood and smiled at him, squeezing his hand. "Trust me." They stepped into the infirmary. Trowa and Wufei were there, both with shit-eating grins on their faces. How unusual. Both of them were the stoic type. They looked awfully pleased with themselves. Jack, Daniel, Sam, and Teal'c were standing slightly to the side, Doctor Fraiser and General Hammond to the other. They were all looking at him like they expected something. With eerie timing they turned and looked to the last person in the room. Who had somehow escaped notice. Most likely because Duo simply wasn't expecting him to be there. It wasn't possible, after all. Because he was dead. Gone. Heero . . . Every muscle in Duo's body went rigid, eyes widening in such a way it was probably comical. His brain scrambled for an explanation. Dreaming. I'm still dreaming. "Not likely, love of mine," Heero's mental voice poured over his senses. It was tinged with amusement, love, and a near-desperate need to hold Duo. ". . . 'Ro?" "It's me, Duo." ". . . but . . ." "Let's give them some privacy," Doctor Fraiser said abruptly, startling Duo. The five humans and one Jaffa quietly filed out, Daniel and Sam giving Duo encouraging smiles. The infirmary door shutting broke the strange paralysis that had claimed Duo's body. Rather like a marionette with its strings cut he jerked forward, movements awkward and clumsy. As if his body still resisted the reality of this. His mind, however, was reaching. Reaching. Heero reached for him, too. Then they were falling together. Around and into each other. Warm, real, solid, firm arms were around him. Squeezing so hard his ribs screamed in protest. He couldn't breathe, not even a little. Dreaming. If I'm dreaming, I never want to wake up again. "God, Duo," Heero hissed in his ear, "I never thought I would hold you again." Lips crashed down on his, hard and bruising and demanding and taking and begging. Duo was vaguely aware of himself crying as he kissed back with equal fervor, and then Heero was blindly groping for his mind. They poured into each other like fire, both desperate for the feeling that this was real, even if it hurt. Trowa, Wufei, and Quatre silently knelt around them, embracing them, soothing and calming, directing their minds because neither of them had the presence to do it themselves, anymore. "Heero," Duo sobbed, clinging to the scrub shirt his love wore. "Heero . . ." "I'm here, Duo," Heero whispered. "I'm here." Duo could sense Heero's weakness, but he didn't care.
He would get strong again. They both would. Duo had always felt at
his strongest when in his lover's arms.
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