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"Slowly, Over Time "Written By: Jewel of Hell Disclaimer: Don't own nothin' but these words Rating: NC 17 Warnings: AU, Drama, Tragedy, Romance, Yaoi, lemon, lime, language, sap, silliness, straight (?) Duo, confident/arrogant Heero, cock-blocking, character death (not Heero or Duo). An additional warning: this story is unlike any I've ever written, and though it will be sad, it will have a happy ending.
Summary: A sad, sweet 1x2 get-together fic. Heed
the warnings "Slowly, Over Time "
January 16, 2011, Journal of Yuy Heero I had no idea Juun was sick. I had no idea I would feel such a terrible sense of loss, knowing Juun will probably die. I never expected I would become as attached to the kid as I am to his father. Well, all right. I'm probably not. But I would have liked the opportunity to watch Juun grow up, watch him become a man. Show him the ropes with girls when he brings home his first crush. Listen to me. When did I become so sentimental? I can hardly bear it, watching Duo suffer. I'm not entirely certain yet he trusts me completely, because he hasn't yet truly opened up to me. I want so very badly to draw him into my arms and never let anything painful touch him again. He's suffered too much loss. I fear it's only a matter of time before the weight of their burden becomes too much for him and he breaks. o0o 0o0 They kept Juun in the hospital for two days. Duo couldn't bring himself to leave, and Yuna told him he didn't have to come in to work while his son was sick. When the doctor agreed Juun could go home and rest, Heero quickly drew him to the side. "Why don't you two come home with me? I'm much closer to the hospital in case we need to bring him back, and I'd be happy to watch him if you need to go into work." Duo, already emotionally strung out, felt tears sting his eyes at the kind offer and blinked them back. "Arigatou, Heero-san. It won't cause you too much trouble?" "Not at all," Heero said, smiling. "When will I convince you I like having you two around?" Blushing, Duo looked down. Juun greeted them ecstatically. "Ohayo, Daddy! Are we going home? I'm sick of being here!" Both his eyes and around his nose looked bruised, Duo knew it was because of the nosebleeds. Heero strode right to the bed, ruffling the boy's hair. "You're coming home with me. Your father agreed to a sleepover. What do you think of that, huh, monster?" "Honto?" Juun exclaimed, bouncing on the bed. Duo smiled, emotions back under control. "Settle down, pumpkin. Yes, really." He helped Juun off the bed and eased him into the wheelchair. The boy seemed a little unsteady, but not ready to collapse. "What are we going to do, Heero-niichan? Can we watch some more anime? And I definitely want some popcorn, too. Daddy, could we make bentou again? We could have an indoor picnic. That was really fun. Do you like to cook, Heero-niichan?" Juun babbled happily all the way to Heero's enormous apartment, which was only about ten minutes. Duo remained quiet, listening to his sweet voice mix in with Heero's comments as the man ribbed Juun and teased him. Such wonderful sound. What would he do if he had to live without it? Silence was too painful. One more loss, he was sure it would . . . I don't know if I can take any more. I only made it through Kaoru's death because I had to for Juun. And through the leukemia because he had to for Juun. Heero parked in the covered garage and opened Duo's door for him. He picked Juun up, and Duo watched them with an aching heart. You're so good with him, Heero-san. Juun thinks I don't know he does it on purpose, but he is jealous of my time. I think you're the first person besides his mother that he lets stay around me. Their interactions looked natural. Not forced. And even though Juun squawked, Duo could see his son liked Heero. Despite Juun's protests, Duo made miso soup for lunch. Heero immediately turned on some anime series, and Juun fell asleep in about five minutes. Heero quietly rose, picked Juun up, and disappeared with him down the hall. Duo remained where he was, feeling too tired and numb to move. Heero came back and sat at Duo's side, those amazing cobalt eyes of his warm and calm. "He's out. He probably won't wake for several hours." He turned the TV's volume down a bit, but didn't turn it off. Reaching over, he cupped Duo's chin and stroked his jaw with a thumb. "How are you? You look exhausted." Duo's eyes fluttered shut. They felt dry and sore, rather like he'd been weeping for hours. "I am exhausted," he confirmed. Heero propped a couple pillows up against the arm of the couch and leaned against them. Then he pulled Duo into his arms, making him recline against his chest. "You haven't really slept in two days," he said softly, pulling the tie off the end of Duo's braid. "Just relax, Duo. I've got you." How long had it been since anyone had touched his hair? Not since Kaoru. Those strong, clever fingers undid his braid and smoothed through his hair. Slow. Tender. Soothing. All desire to protest trickled away, the quiet sounds from the TV further dulling Duo's senses. His complacent mind wondered at Heero's words. I want him to take care of me. For once in his life, Duo wished there was someone else, for once, to take care of things and take care of him. o0o 0o0 Heero kept up his ministrations until Duo fell asleep, and then for long after that. He gave the TV only a fraction of his attention, more content to watch the way Duo's exhausted, grieving face relaxed in sleep. He looked younger and not so troubled. Completely unguarded. That's right. You're safe with me. I've got you now, and I'm not letting you go. He wondered how long it had been since anyone had taken care of Duo. Turning off the anime, he turned to some news. Then he gingerly reached for his cell phone. "Chang," Wufei's voice said after three rings. "It's me," Heero said softly, continuing to stroke his fingers through Duo's hair. "Ah. Yuy. How is your love interest? And his son?" "They're both with me. Both worn out. I won't be in for awhile, Chang. Think you can hold down the fort for me?" "Of course. Who do you think I am? Take care of your boy and his little boy. Leukemia isn't something to take lightly. Make sure your koibito doesn't wear himself out worrying over his son. I'll drop by in a couple days with the final proposals for the merger. You may have to be there for the final meeting, but that's at least two weeks away, yet. If you need someone to run errands, I'll send your secretary." "Thank you. At the moment I don't need anything." "Good. Keep me apprised. I would like nothing to happen to this family you seem intent on adopting." Heero snorted softly. "Thanks, Wufei. I'm sure I'll be talking to you soon." As he set the phone back down, he heard the soft scuff of feet on the carpet and looked up to see Juun padding toward him. The kid looked worn out but determined. "Who was that, Heero-niichan?" he asked in a low voice. "My partner. Wufei." Juun looked down at his sleeping father, expression troubled. "I wanted to take care of him forever," he said abruptly. Heero felt a tightening in his chest. "I know you did, kiddo," he said quietly. "C'mere." Juun carefully climbed onto the couch, and Heero soothed Duo when the young man stirred and made a sleepy, displeased sound. The boy curled between his father and the back of the couch, tucking his nose under his father's chin. To Heero's dismay, he saw a couple fat tears streak down Juun's pale face. His first impulse was simply to pretend he didn't see, but he couldn't watch the boy silently cry. He reached up and brushed them away with his thumb. "Don't cry, Juun," he whispered. "It'll be all right. I promise." A weak promise, one no adult should ever make. Heero knew it, and Juun probably did too. But the little boy just smiled and closed his eyes, nuzzling into Heero's caress. Then he flicked a glance over to the TV. "I'd rather watch anime," he said faintly. Heero immediately turned it back on, feeling strangely comforted to have both Duo's and Juun's weight bearing him down into the couch. If only, he thought with a quiet sigh, it could stay like this forever. o0o 0o0 When Juun woke, it was to find Heero-niichan asleep now, too. He felt a little achy, so he carefully got up and stretched. Neither his father nor Heero-niichan stirred. Padding out of the living room, he made his way into Heero's bedroom. He'd seen something on the bedside table earlier, but his desire to be near his father had overridden his curiosity. He carefully pulled the leather-bound book off the table and opened it. As he'd suspected, it was a journal. He found the last few written pages. After a few minutes, he closed the journal and put it back on the table. For several moments he stood still, feeling like he'd swallowed a boulder and it had lodged behind his lungs. Why did the heart hurt so much sometimes? I don't want to die. I want to live forever and take care of Daddy and grow up with Heero-niichan and maybe get into his business with him, and maybe if he really started to like me he'd adopt me and I'd become his heir. I know there's so much he could teach me. His eyes blurred as tears obscured his vision. He didn't like to cry in front of his father. He knew it hurt his father too much. But here, in the darkened room where there was no one else, he couldn't stop the tears. They dried up pretty quick. Crying wasted time and accomplished nothing. Sucking in a deep, labored breath, he padded into the room he knew was Heero-niichan's office. He picked up the telephone and dialed a number he knew by heart. Shirozaki Mina had three children, two of whom were Juun's age and one year older. She had many times invited Duo to let Juun stay with her and her family, for Duo to take a little time for himself. His father had always refused. This time, Juun thought with a firm nod, he wouldn't give Daddy a say. He needs to be alone with Heero-niichan. Maybe go on a nice trip. I know he really likes Heero-niichan, but with me always around they can't get anywhere. Grown ups need to kiss and snuggle and do whatever else grown ups do. Shirozaki-san's daughter, Karin, answered. When Juun told her his plan, she excitedly asked her momma if Juun could spend a few days with them. He heard her reply as long as it was all right with Juun's father. As he hung up the phone, he heard someone enter the room and looked up to see Heero-niichan gazing down at him. "What are you up to, monster?" The nickname made him grin. He could hear the affection. "Making plans. I want you to take Daddy on a trip. I'll stay with my friends. They already said it was okay as long as it's fine with Daddy. Take him somewhere special." "Hm. This coming from the brat who doesn't want to share his daddy with me?" Heero-niichan said, scooping Juun up and plopping him over his shoulder. Giggling, Juun thumped the man's broad back with his fists. "Daddy likes you. Grown ups should be able to be alone together. That's what Mama always said." "Your mama was right. But aren't you worried I'll eat your daddy all up?" "Nya! You do and I'll kick you in the shins!" Heero-niichan chuckled. "Little tyrant. All right, I'll take your daddy on a trip, and I'll be on my best behavior. I might know a nice hotel where we can stay for free." "Ah! And when you get back, I still want to stay in your hotel, too!" Juun demanded. "Of course, monster. All night." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was still a source of amazement to Duo that going on a trip with Heero was Juun's idea. Though he was worried about his son, he seemed in high spirits and in as good health as possible, and the doctor agreed. Shirozaki-san promised she'd call right away if anything happened, and for once Duo decided to do something for himself. Heero decided to take him to an onsen* near Mt Tateyama, which was quite some way from Tokyo. He put all his worries behind him, didn't even complain when Heero told him the plane tickets were first class. Juun hugged him tightly at Shirozaki's home, but he didn't look upset or depressed. "Have fun, Daddy!" he said brightly. He even gave Heero a hug. They boarded the plane, and Heero took Duo's hand, tangling their fingers. "I'm not going to let you off for even a second," he said with a small smile. "I want to hear everything about you." So Duo told him. How it was growing up an only child, growing up much smarter than the kids around him. Going to high school so young and falling for the cutest, richest girl in school. Being terrified running away with her but too madly in love to care. The first amazing six months. The fallout when reality set in. The terror when Kaoru told him she was pregnant, then the excitement as she began to show and the mindless happiness when she gave birth to their son. "What about you, Heero-san?" he asked. "Family?" "I was also an only child," the older man said, glancing out the window for a moment. "My father died two years ago, but my mother and I are still quite close. She lives on Shikoku with her sister, managers of the only Tokyo Jewel in Sanuki. I asked her if she wanted to come live with me in Tokyo, but I think she likes living near the sea." Duo smiled. "They're close, then?" "Mm. Very. They gossip like silly old hens. My mother never worked for the hotel when Chichiue* was alive, but after he died she felt adrift. So I gave her the hotel, it's not a big one. She writes me often about how much she loves running it, and how she loves bossing people around." He snorted. "My mother's the sort of old lady who's not afraid of anything or anyone." "She can't be that old. You're only twenty-eight." "She didn't have me until she was thirty-two, my dad was only twenty-one. But she was rich and beautiful, so my dad didn't care. She likes it when I call her old lady. She wants to live to be one-hundred-and-ten." Duo couldn't help it and laughed softly. "I would like to meet her." "I'd like that, too. So would she. She'll love you. She's been pestering me for a couple years to get serious about someone." The simple words made Duo's heart race a little. Taking a deep breath, he asked the question that had been on his mind since their first date. "Is that what you're doing, Heero-san? Getting serious?" Heero lifted the hand still captured in his and kissed each knuckle. "I've already gotten serious, koibito." Heero wasn't, Duo thought as he blushed, all that different from Kaoru. She'd known from the beginning she wanted Duo to be her boyfriend and she'd just sort of swept him up in her wake. Leaving him feeling dizzy and breathless. Heero was a lot like her in that regard. Just swept in and made Duo his seemingly without any effort. Duo hadn't resisted her, and he wasn't resisting Heero, either. He knew himself well enough to know he needed this. Needed to feel safe. Cherished. So he decided to be brave. "I'm glad," he whispered, leaning over and resting his head on Heero's shoulder. Do I love him? I don't know. I want to be with him, though. Heero kissed his forehead. "Next time we go on a trip we'll have to bring Juun, and it'll be to Sanuki. I know my mother will love him." Smiling, Duo closed his eyes. "Everyone does." "Don't tell the kid I love him," Heero said. "Little monster is my biggest rival for your affection, after all. He'll take advantage if he thinks I've gone soft." Duo burst into laughter. It felt wonderful. "I'm glad I met you, Heero-san." "So am I." o0o 0o0 Heero kept his word. He kept Duo talking (or talked himself) all the way to the airport. He hired a taxi to take them to the onsen inn, and when they got out Duo looked around in open wonder. "Kirei," he breathed. Mt Tateyama loomed impressive and resplendent just in the background, its slopes and peak covered in a blanket of pristine white. Heero took Duo's hand and tucked it under his arm, pressing an impulsive kiss to Duo's temple. "This is the perfect time of year for a trip to an onsen," he said. "Cold outside, but perfectly warm in the water." "I've never been before," Duo said with a little sigh, looking happy. "Ridiculous, ne? I've lived in Japan twenty-one years and never been to an onsen." "Then it's doubly fortunate you met me," Heero replied, lifting Duo's hand to kiss the back of it. "I'll take you to all sorts of wonderful places, Duo." The innkeeper, adding to the general authenticity, was a willowy woman with long pitch black hair. Her kimono was intricately designed, and she bowed to them both. "Irasshai," she murmured. "I hope you will enjoy your stay." Even though he wanted to share one, Heero had reserved two adjoining rooms for them. He couldn't quite tell if Duo was grateful or disappointed. He gave Heero that small smile that was so sweet on him. "Shall we take to the outdoor baths, first?" "Sounds wonderful to me. Both these rooms have a private bath - see? - and include quite a view of Mt Tateyama." To his surprise, Duo stepped in front of him and cuddled right against his chest. "Arigatou, Heero-san," he said again, little more than a whisper. "It's beautiful here." "Not half as beautiful as you," Heero murmured, arms coming up to enfold him in a close embrace. "Why don't you change into your yukata, then we can meet up outside." "All right," Duo said, and it seemed he pulled away with reluctance. It had been a number of years since Heero had visited an onsen, and he slid out of his clothing and into the yukata with a little sigh. It still felt pleasant to wear the traditional garb, and he couldn't wait to see Duo in one. The younger man wasn't Japanese, but he was still a porcelain-skinned beauty. I wonder if he would let me take him to a kimono shop and try some on. He'd look beautiful in a red kimono. There was a wall between his private outdoor bath and Duo's, so he waited a bit before knocking on the door between their rooms. At Duo's invitation he entered. He was right. Duo looked wonderful in the simple dark blue yukata. The pale off-white tie drew attention to itself and Duo's slim waist, and his feet were bare. For some reason, it made him look even more vulnerable. Faint color dusted his cheeks as he gave Heero a slightly shy smile. "How do I look?" Heero smiled. "Like it was made for you." Heero's eyes feasted on Duo's body as they slid into the bath, and to his delight Duo sat down next to him rather than opposite. He settled his arm behind Duo's shoulder, hand dangling down to stroke his upper arm. "So how is it you came to live in Japan?" "My mother is Japanese," Duo replied. "She hated America, so she talked my dad into moving back here. Her parents left Japan when she was thirteen, and she spent her teen years wanting to come back. My father didn't yet know what he wanted to do with his life, so after they got married and had me, he agreed to move to Japan. I've never wanted to leave. Though it would be nice to travel." Heero nodded absently, leaning over to bury his nose in Duo's hair and inhale his sweet scent. Don't scare him away, Yuy. Acting like we're an old married couple. Duo didn't protest and Heero couldn't seem to pull away to a more appropriate distance. "Traveling is nice if you're with someone. Is there anywhere you'd like to go?" "Hai," Duo said with a sweet smile. "Italy and New York. And I'd also like to go on a cruise. Anywhere with tropical waters. Like the Caribbean or the Mediterranean." "Let me take you," Heero said softly, not quite a command but not quite a request. "Anywhere you want to go." "You shouldn't spend your money on me," Duo said, but if his tone was anything to go by his heart wasn't in it at all as he turned his face into Heero's neck. "There's nothing I'd rather spend my money on," Heero said, lightly kissing Duo's forehead. "Speaking of, when are yours and Juun's birthdays?" "Mine's May, Juun's is in October." Heero felt that pain in his heart again, and he knew Duo was thinking the same thing as he. He may not live until October. Five years old and already marking time. Heero drew in a deep breath. "Why don't we plan a Valentine getaway? I'll take you and Juun to Sanuki to meet my mother and aunt. He still wants to stay at a Tokyo Jewel." Duo pulled away to peer into Heero's eyes. "You actually care about him, don't you? You don't consider him a way to get to me." Heero blinked. After a moment he chuckled. "I considered him quite an obstacle in the beginning," he admitted. "He's pretty jealous of you. My pint-sized rival. But yeah, I really care about him. He's such a cute little monster." Duo smiled softly. "He thinks I don't notice he does it on purpose." He looked down. "I'm not a very confident person, Heero-san. I've never been with a man before, I'm afraid I won't be very good compared to the women you've been with. I don't have a beautiful body." Heero cupped his chin and make him look up. "Yes, you do. You're absolutely perfect. Trust me, I won't be comparing you to anyone. When I look at you, all I see is you. Wonderful -" he kissed Duo's forehead - "amazing -" he kissed Duo's right cheek - "beautiful -" he kissed Duo's left cheek - "you." He kissed the bridge of Duo's nose. "I know you've never been with a man before, and I'm perfectly content to wait until you're ready." Limpid, endless indigo eyes gazed into his own with pure trust. "I didn't like you at first. I thought you were arrogant and way too self-assured. How did you make me fall in love with you?" He fell against Heero's chest, slim hands smoothing down the golden expanse. "I am ready, Heero-san." It was difficult to describe exactly what his heart did just then - he'd never felt it before. It either tried to choke him or fall into his stomach. Definitely not a good idea to get so suddenly turned on in the steaming hot baths. It made him feel light-headed and a little dizzy. He pulled Duo even closer, stroking his bare arms. "Don't worry, Duo," he whispered. "I'll make sure your first time is as wonderful as it should be." He felt Duo press a light kiss to his collar bone. "I know you will." o0o 0o0 The inn provided a wonderful meal for dinner, and though Heero wanted to take Duo out, he could tell his koibito didn't have the energy. He's really running on empty. He made a mental note to ask the innkeeper if there was a rickshaw service in town so he could hire a driver to take Duo to town so his love didn't have to walk. Anything to make this a more relaxing, memorable experience. As the sun went down, Duo snuggled up beside Heero on their private balcony, watching the colors set Tateyama's slopes afire. When soft darkness settled in, it was too cold to stay out any longer, and Duo seemed perfectly happy to be coaxed back inside. It was only then that his beautiful companion suddenly went shy, and Heero couldn't deny himself any longer. Duo was a grown man. He ought to know if he was ready or not. So he gently drew him closer, placing a soft kiss on his perfect lips. Duo reciprocated, but after a moment he turned his head to the side and rested his cheek against Heero's shoulder. "Tonight, can we . . . just lie together?" he asked quietly. His body language suggested slight unease, so Heero reined in his libido and pressed his cheek to Duo's forehead. "Of course," he murmured. So they pulled the two futons together and Heero curved his body around Duo. Duo relaxed after a few deep breaths, and in a short time he fell asleep. Heero smiled, breathing in his companion's sweet scent, not ready for sleep quite yet. With each slow, even rise and fall of Duo's chest he felt more ready, and eventually he drifted into untroubled slumber.
*Chichiue means 'honored father' An 'onsen' is a hot springs. ^_^
tbc Chapter 4 |
