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"The Road to Hell is Paved With Second Chances "Written By: Jewel of Hell Disclaimer: Don't own nothin' but these words Rating: NC 17 Warnings: Yaoi, lemon, angst (sort of), abuse, torture, memory loss, mental instability, character death, violence, dark Pairings: 1x2 Summary: The war ended, and Duo disappeared. Heero
never stopped searching. When he found his love, locked in a research
facility with devestated memories, he swore he would destroy the one
responsible. "The Road to Hell is Paved With Second Chances "
Chapter Seven Sometime in the middle of the next day, Duo realized he hated being away from Heero. When Heero left him in the room alone he immediately felt debilitating fear begin creeping back into his mind. It threatened to shut down his reasoning ability, making him feel he was once again trapped in the facility with the Doctor sure to come back in at any time and have him dragged to the lab. He wanted to walk around the room and stretch his legs, to move, to feel in some kind of control. But he could not make himself so much as put one foot on the floor out of bed. So he huddled in the center of the comfortable piece of furniture, blankets tucked tightly around him, trying to keep his mind grounded in the present. He was not there. He was safe. Heero would never let the Doctor come in here. Heero would protect him. But what if the Doctor brought men? Men with guns? What if they hurt Heero, even killed him? Then there would be no one left in this world to protect him, and they would take him back, and it would be a thousand times worse because his only hope would be gone . . . This downward spiral into chaotic dark was making Duo's heart pound, his breathing come in labored gasps, his vision darken until he could barely see at all. Eventually mindless panic gripped him and he leaped off the bed and all but flung himself at the door. He wrenched it open to see Heero walking toward him down the hall. With a tormented sob he bolted toward Heero. Strong arms were around him instantly, secure and soothing. As though he had some power over the dark, it was pushed back at once. Now afraid it would come back the moment Heero moved away from him, Duo huddled closer. If he could climb into Heero's skin with him, he would have. "Shh, Duo . . ." Heero murmured. "It's all right, love. I'm here. Shh . . ." Love? Duo thought dimly. Does he love me? Or is he just being kind? Love. The word ran around Duo's mind in little circles, chanting over and over. Love was such a powerful word. In fact, soon Duo couldn't even remember what had caused his panic in the first place. Love. Such a big word. Something stirred at the base of his skull. Something deep, deep within him stirred. A memory? Not quite. Perhaps the memory of a feeling. Mind now blank in wonderment, he pulled back to peer up into cobalt eyes. Cobalt. The color of love. "You love me, don't you?" he blurted. As soon as it came out, he clapped a hand over his mouth and whirled away. Dear god, why had he said that? As if Heero could love a broken doll like him. Warm hands landed on his shoulders, gently, inexorably turning him back to face Heero. Those blue eyes were filled with soft laughter. Heero was smiling, and moisture gathered at the corners of his eyes. "Yes," he said simply. For several disconcerting moments, Duo thought he might faint. Yes? "You . . . before," he said. That didn't make a whole lot of sense, it seemed. Fortunately, Heero was amazing. The smile didn't lose its brilliance. He cupped Duo's chin. "Before, now, there's no difference. I love you, not the person your collection of memories made you. But in any case, I will help you recover your memories, Duo. For your sake." The words, so full of quiet conviction, left no room for fear or doubt or anxiety. Heero absolutely believed them. His belief made Duo believe, too. He had always known Heero could do anything. That wasn't quite a memory, but Duo knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he'd always believed in Heero, even if he couldn't remember the whens or the whys. Those would come back with time. He was certain of it now. Yes. "I know," he mumbled, burying his face in Heero's neck. "You'll take care of me." "Yes," Heero agreed, gently pushing Duo back, "but more importantly I'll give you back the strength to take care of yourself." The words gave Duo a giddy sense of anticipation. Yes, Heero even had the power to make Duo powerful again. He couldn't remember anything, but he had a vague sense of rightness about those words. As if he'd been the kind of person who could easily take care of things. A powerful person. A confident one. He would be that person again, with Heero's help. The fear would fade away into a distant memory, or rather, a vague recollection of a memory. Like a dream that hadn't happened, had merely been unusually vivid. Smiling happily, he snuggled close again. "I know. I love you, Hee-ro." Heero's heart skipped a beat, the sensation unpleasant and hot and strangely tingly. Another unconscious mannerism surfacing? How many times had he listened to Duo say his name just like that? With the faint break between syllables, almost a teasing hitch, one that managed to make the name sound annoying and almost . . . reverent. Only Duo said his name like that. He sighed, the words far more painful than Duo could imagine. They were said so innocently, so clear and unhesitant. No you don't, he thought. Not like you used to. But you will. For a moment, he entertained the notion that Duo really might not recover his memories. It didn't bear considering, but the soldier in Heero wouldn't let him discount it entirely just because he didn't like it. What if? Resting his chin on top of Duo's head, he closed his eyes. If that happened, he would bear the pain of losing his partner and best friend. He would bear it, because Duo was still Duo and he still loved him. He would just have to build new memories with Duo. After all, the old foundation hadn't exactly been daises and walks in the park, now, had it? "You really, really need to eat," he said after a time. Duo brightened. "I am hungry." "And you should get out of that thing," Heero said, looking down. Duo seemed only to just realize he was still in that clingy bodysuit. His face crinkled up in distaste. "Yeah. Got something warmer for me?" God damn it but he was so cute. He wasn't nearly so pale now, some color had returned to his face. He was way, way too thin, but a few weeks under Heero's care would easily remedy that. "Yes." While Duo had slept he'd drawn a little blood for tests, and he was relieved to find Duo in relatively good health. Malnourished and underweight, but few health problems. "I have some antibiotics for you, too. You have an upper respiratory infection." "Oh," Duo said with a frown. As if to hear Heero say anything like it was disturbing. "What?" he said gently. Duo shrugged, looking uncomfortable. "Just . . . weirdly, it reminded me of . . . back there. When you . . ." Heero laid a single finger across his lips. "You don't have to explain." Then, to his shock, Duo broke into a sunny smile. "It's fine. I'm gonna replace all those shit-for-memories with really good ones." The words were so unexpected, so typically Duo that Heero broke into laughter. The mirth was tinged with melancholy. Slinging a friendly arm around thin shoulders, he steered Duo back into the bedroom. He laid an outfit of blue jeans and a black sweater on the bed. The sweater, one which fit Heero perfectly, would hang on Duo, but it would keep him warm. "Do you mind undressing in front of me?" he asked. "I'd like to see if your body has any burns or abrasions or anything like that." Duo nodded and complied, but his movements told Heero he was feeling a little shy about it. He kept his examination brief with clinical precision, hoping to make Duo feel more comfortable. Then he turned his back to let Duo dress with a little privacy. As soon as Duo was done he glomped Heero's arm, the sunny grin back. "I'm hungry!" he chirped. Smiling, Heero led him out of the bedroom. If he makes this much progress every day, he'll be better in no time. In the meantime, he had no complaints if Duo was a little clingy. After all, his love had been through hell. Trowa started out of a light doze when the computer beeped softly. Blinking in the waning light of evening, he sat up and tapped the keyboard to shut off the screensaver. A message was waiting for him, letting him know Heero's network had been pinged. Well, that ought to make the Perfect Soldier happy. Isenger was still trailing him. Though Trowa was an unflappable sort, he pitied Isenger greatly. When he walked into Heero's trap, he would be the most unfortunate son-of-a-bitch on the planet. He knew very well Heero planned to kill the man. Probably as slowly as humanly possible. Sighing, he scrubbed his fingers through his hair and logged onto the net. To his relief, Quatre was online. His blonde love accepted a video call immediately, and Quatre's angelic face appeared. He was smiling, but he looked tired. "Hey," he said softly. "How are things over there?" Trowa heard all the unspoken elucidations. But he knew Quatre's main concern would be Duo. "He's doing a little better. Heero's been with him pretty much all day. He ate a huge lunch. And whined the whole time that he wanted chocolate and pizza, not tofu and rice." Quatre burst into golden laughter, and for long moments he didn't look worn out and burdened. "That sounds like Duo," he said presently. "Do his memories seem to be returning?" "Not yet," Trowa answered, "but he's only been out of the place for a few days. There's a lot of evidence of his old self resurfacing, though. He's already completely at ease with Heero." Quatre sighed. "That's good. Will you tell Heero that Relena is getting a little antsy since she hasn't heard from him?" "I have a better idea," Trowa said after a slight hesitation. "Will you tell her that he's found the perpetrator and is setting up a trap." Nodding, Quatre leaned back. He looked troubled. "He means to kill her." Trowa could tell that was neither a question needing answer nor a clarification in case of ignorance. It was a statement of fact, so he held his peace. "On the one hand," Quatre said after a brief pause, "I completely understand and agree. On a personal level. But on a political one, it will cause so much upset. The balance of everything will shift. And who knows if it will be for the better." Trowa shrugged. He had no such qualms. He didn't care about politics. "She deserves it," he said simply. Smiling ruefully, Quatre ran a hand over his eyes. "Yeah. She does." Isenger glanced up from his papers when his computer tinged at him. He broke into a grin. That fool Shiro had logged on, and his current location was less than twenty miles from here. Rising to his feet, he tucked the papers into a tidy stack beside his drink and closed his laptop. No sense in waiting until tomorrow when he could be there in half an hour or less. Shiro probably wouldn't leave until the morning, anyway. Secure in the knowledge that he had safely fled. Little bastard. He was going to learn no one took what was his. He probably could have accepted the loss of subject 02-he could easily find a replacement. But Shiro's virus had erased his computers, dumping all the information into his own computer. Fortunately the kid had no concept of a silent virus, one that left no traces. You're mine, you little shit. And then, maybe I'll
make you my next subject. He chuckled. He wouldn't mind seeing
those arrogant, cold blue eyes gazing up at him in abject fear.
tbc |
