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"The Road to Hell is Paved With Second Chances "Written By: Jewel of Hell Disclaimer: Don't own nothin' but these words Rating: NC 17 Warnings: Yaoi, lemon, angst (sort of), abuse, torture, memory loss, mental instability, character death, violence, dark Pairings: 1x2 Summary: The war ended, and Duo disappeared. Heero
never stopped searching. When he found his love, locked in a research
facility with devestated memories, he swore he would destroy the one
responsible. "The Road to Hell is Paved With Second Chances "
Chapter Ten It was amazing, Duo thought, that he could have forgotten this feeling. From this height, the world looked tiny. The different types of landscapes looked like a patchwork quilt of earthen tones, and if Duo closed his eyes he could almost feel the rush of air past his face. Reaching over, he slapped the comm unit. "Come in, pilot 01." He grinned to himself. Heero's amused face appeared. "I read you, pilot 02. Go ahead." "Heero, can we land somewhere so you can carry me in Wing's hand? I want to hear the wind rushing by, and feel it too . . ." Heero looked reluctant. "Please? I know you won't drop me." Judging by the look on his face, Heero conceded his point. "All right. For a little while." Letting out something like a yip of pleasure, Duo followed Wing to the ground. Opening 'Scythe's hatch, he clambered out. Wing's enormous hand stretched out to him, and he hopped aboard, grinning up at Heero like a fool. He couldn't remember ever being this happy. The mobile's fingers closed gently around him, and Duo settled comfortably. The gundam began its assent. Heero took it at a somewhat sedate pace, but it was still fast enough to elate Duo. Closing his eyes to hear and feel alone, he couldn't help it and started laughing. Was this what he'd felt? Every time he'd stepped into his gundam? A sense of purpose and power, as if no one could challenge him? Another image flashed into his mind, this one of taking Deathscythe into deep water, and an enormous scythe slashing through the inky black as though through air. It was over as soon as it started so it seemed, though his internal clock told him it had been at least twenty minutes. He was panting, face flushed, when Heero brought Wing to ground again. As soon as the hatch opened he sprang on Heero, arms around his neck. He planted a sloppy kiss on Heero's lips. "Let's do that again! Soon!" One of Heero's hands tangled in his hair, the other settled on the small of his back. His cobalt-eyed love was smiling. It was such a beautiful expression, and Duo had the distinct impression he didn't get to see it much. "You look so cute right now." The tone was light and teasing. It still managed to make Duo blush. "Flirt. I remembered the thermal scythe. It looked wicked awesome, especially when I was underwater." Heero snorted. "I'm sure you spooked OZ soldiers plenty with that stunt." "Did I! I bet they wet themselves!" He cackled gleefully. "Ready to put them to bed?" Face falling into a pout, Duo shook his head. "Don't wanna." "Come on," Heero coaxed, lips brushing over Duo's temple. "I thought you might like to return home. Become reacquainted with your old friends." Duo's heart jumped at the thought. Perhaps meeting them would stir more memories. He hoped so. The thought of it made him both anxious and excited. So he acquiesced-for now. "All right, but next time we stay out as long as I want." He gave Heero a glare for good measure. Cobalt eyes just laughed at him. "Don't pout," Heero murmured. "It just makes you look even cuter." Damn, it shouldn't be fair that Heero could distract him so easily. His legs went a little rubbery as he leaned into Heero, begging for a kiss without words. This demand Heero gave into without resistance. Duo let Heero support his weight, absolutely trusting his love wouldn't let him fall. After awhile of being kissed senseless, he remembered something else. What Heero had promised after he saw the gundams. His body temperature rose. A fine tremor tickled up his spine, which Heero didn't miss. He pulled back with a questioning look, and he could either read minds or read Duo like a book. Because cobalt eyes darkened perceptibly, and something dangerously close to a smirk flickered over his lips. "Mind in the gutter, like always." "I blame it on you for being so damn sexy," Duo retorted, eyes hooding and lips parting. Which made fire spring up in Heero's eyes. Their lips met with equal parts passion and tenderness, the mix stealing all the air from Duo's lungs. Heero's tongue slid into his mouth with confident skill, writhing against his own, urging a fervent response, thrusting across the roof of his mouth until Duo moaned and his knees buckled. Heero caught him and steadied him, gazing into Duo's eyes. Their panting breaths intermingled, both sets of eyes darkened and glazed. Duo was aroused with almost no stimulation, and he wanted. Right now. He wanted. He was done being afraid. "Want you," he gasped. "Now, Heero. Right here." Heero hesitated. But his eyes were open and clear, letting Duo know it wasn't lack of desire. "For our first time?" Duo paused for the briefest of moments. All of his memories centered around these two great weapons and the boy currently holding him. Maybe it wasn't flowers and candles and silk sheets. But none of that could have been more meaningful than right here, right now. Out in the middle of nowhere, tall trees and mountains surrounding on all sides, not a soul around for a hundred miles, and two giant gundams standing as silent sentinels. "Right here," Duo affirmed. Heero looked down into glazed indigo eyes, made darker by desire. There was no doubt in them, no trace of fear or worry. He wanted this. Maybe he needed it, too. It wasn't the face of a terrified, broken boy peering up at him. It was Duo, his Duo, reckless and bold and demanding and confident, everything he'd ever been and more, because that was undisguised love in his eyes and the assuredness that Heero loved him too. It was intoxicating. So he threw his own doubts aside. There wasn't, he thought hazily as he sealed their mouths back together, a way to make their first time more meaningful. More romantic? Perhaps, if they were any but themselves. But Heero realized he didn't want to wine and dine Duo, to treat him like a precious, fragile treasure. He didn't want to treat Duo as a man would treat a beautiful woman, as if he were somehow the inferior one in their relationship. Because he instinctively knew if he treated Duo as if fragile, Duo would feel fragile. And at this point, could anything be more counterproductive? He almost snickered at the thought. Duo wasn't fragile, as he'd demonstrated brilliantly these last few days. He was strong and amazing and beautiful and gloriously male, and to treat him as anything else would have been insulting to them both. Backing up, he sank into Wing's control seat, never breaking the kiss. Duo followed him without protest, and when Heero sat down he quickly straddled his soon-to-be lover's lap. Heero didn't make him wait. He ground his pelvis up, bringing their cloth-covered arousals into sudden contact. A burst of pleasure momentarily blurred his eyesight, but not so much that he missed Duo's head falling back with a faint gasp. That was an invitation he couldn't deny. A magnetic force seemed to pull him forward, and he latched his mouth onto Duo's throat. The second gasp reverberated across his lips, and Heero nearly groaned. Shit. Who would have thought something so simple would be so arousing? He could feel it when Duo swallowed thickly. The muscles worked almost erratically under his tongue, and he sucked and bit harder to feel it again. Duo obliged, this time swallowing another moan. Heero thrust up with his pelvis once more, and now a gasp rewarded him. He felt slim fingers tangle in his unruly hair, tugging just enough to make tingles burst across his scalp but not actually hurt. Then those fingers were carding through the thick locks as Heero established a rhythm, leaning forward until Duo wasn't supporting any of his own weight, knees clasping tightly to Heero's waist. Only Heero's arms around his back and shoulders kept him from tumbling to the floor. A cold wind started up in the mountains, but in the semi-enclosed space of the cockpit it was just a contrasting sensation to heighten Heero's senses. The heat generated from aroused bodies was such that it felt good rather than unpleasant. The faint howl was a backdrop of sound against the beautiful music of Duo's moans. "Hee-Heero," he whimpered, hands clutching tightly at Heero's shoulders, "I-I'm gonna . . . you're gonna make me-" Heero forced himself to stop. It was difficult. But he wanted more, and the Perfect Soldier had far too much control to come in his pants like a horny teenager. Never mind that that's exactly what he was. Duo stilled as well, panting like he couldn't catch his breath. His face was flushed, eyes glazed, lips moist and open. God he was beautiful. Leaning forward, Heero swiped his tongue over Duo's lips, momentarily fascinated by the dull shine. In a matter of seconds, his mind categorized and took stock. There wasn't much space to work with, but they were both young and flexible. It wouldn't take too much work to undress them both, especially since the hatch was still open. More pressingly, he didn't have anything to use as lube. He hadn't expected they'd be having sex when they left the hangar. He could always make Duo come and use his seed as lube . . . not the best, but better than nothing. Saliva wasn't good enough. And he licked his lips at the thought of watching Duo come by his hand. Decision made, he moved to the task of undressing them both. An activity, he noticed with some amusement, of which Duo was an active participant. Duo's hands were surprisingly cool given the heat of his body, and the contrast on Heero's own warmed skin was amazing. Such that when he leaned Duo back against the console he laid his hands flat on the cold metal for several moments before gripping the rigid proof of Duo's arousal. It made a liquid moan pour off Duo's lips. The boy's knees once more clasped Heero's waist, which wasn't really enough room to move. Using his own shoulders to push them open, he pressed light kisses to Duo's abdomen. Skin and muscle jumped under his lips, and he flicked his tongue around Duo's navel. Beneath him Duo started to squirm, reminding Heero his hand wasn't moving. He stroked upward firmly in apology, palming Duo's heated length. Duo hissed, and Heero did it again. "Nngh . . . more, Heero . . . don't tease . . ." Heero didn't obey right away, closing his fist around Duo and simply squeezing while his mouth wandered up to Duo's chest. He could feel the faintest salty flavor from perspiration, and his lips grazed over ribs that still stood out too much. Occasionally he found a scar, and he laved each one with his tongue. Many of them he could recall their occurrence. Duo seemed to recognize the attention's significance, because his breathing hitched each time Heero found one. Soon his lips traveled over one nipple. The little nub was already firm, and it tightened under Heero's tongue. Smiling slightly, Heero closed his teeth around it and tugged gently, gauging Duo's reaction. Duo let out a peculiar whining moan. Without releasing the nub Heero drew his tongue across it firmly in a long swipe, then used the tip of his tongue simply to apply pressure. Then repeated it. Now he merely locked his lips around it and sucked. Duo's fingers threaded through his hair, and he felt random tugs again. By the look on Duo's face he couldn't decide whether to pull Heero away or push him closer. Heero lifted his head only to attack the other nipple, giving it similar attention. All the while squeezing at random intervals the firm flesh still in his hand. The tip of Duo's arousal was angry red now, leaking pearl-white fluid steadily. Duo gasped as if he couldn't breathe properly, face flushed, eyes squeezed shut. Heero recognized he would need very little to push him over the edge. Sliding his free hand over one silken hip, he found Duo's hidden entrance and pushed with just enough pressure he wouldn't quite breach the ring of muscle. Duo's eyes flew open and he came, essence flooding over Heero's hand, some splashing on his stomach and chest. Little more than a breathless gasp escaped Duo's lips, and the expression on his face severely tested Heero's self-control. Unguarded. Open. Dazed. Even somewhat wondering. In his memory, Heero thought, Duo had never experienced anything like it before. For himself, Heero was mesmerized. He continued rhythmically squeezing to milk Duo's orgasm, until the boy's trembling body went limp against the bulkhead. Heero waited patiently until dark eyes fluttered open and met his. He smiled. "Ready for the next part?" Licking his lips, expression still devoid of fear or nervousness, Duo nodded. Then, "Hurry." God, don't tempt me, Heero thought, eyes falling to half-mast. Ignoring Duo's plea, he dragged his fingers through the slick white mess on Duo's stomach, smearing it to leave a dull shine on pale skin. Duo grunted, judging by his expression finding it ticklish. When his fingers were coated he lowered them again, and Duo raised his knees and spread them without prompting. Heero's eyes were drawn down to the intersection of his body, to the clenching ring of muscle. He drew two fingers across it, spreading the shine there, too. Duo moaned at the first touch, body tensing slightly in reaction. Heero knew the sensations were more erotic than arousing at the moment, so he moved his fingers slowly to not rush him. He teased and caressed until the tiny ring relaxed from the center out, allowing his first finger to slid in suddenly and with little resistance. Once more, Duo's eyes opened wide at the new feeling. A gasp flew from his lips, and moments later his eyes squeezed shut. Feeling as if on some kind of high, Heero held his finger still while he felt velvet walls gripping tightly. It only took a few seconds before Duo's internal muscles relaxed, and Heero slid his finger almost all the way out to gently push back in. The seed on his finger made it a relatively smooth glide, and Duo moaned faintly. In and out. Sometimes a long thrust, sometimes little more than a pulse. Perspiration broke out on Duo's skin, little gleaming beads that caught the light in tiny bursts of color. Heero leaned forward to lick them up, the salty flavor bitter on his tongue. He realized that Duo was whimpering and squirming, hands tugging somewhat ineffectually at Heero's shoulders. "He-Heero," he panted, "please . . ." He closed his teeth around Duo's nipple again and pushed another finger inside. Duo hissed, hips jerking down as if to push him in faster. Worrying the little nub in his mouth, Heero twisted his fingers and probed along hot, slick walls to find Duo's prostate. Another jerk told him when he found it, following in the wake of a half yelp, half groan. He pressed firmly against it, then rubbed over it. Duo was practically writhing in his lap, hips moving with Heero, eyes glazed and completely unfocused. Heero slid in a third and final finger, pushing them all in to the last knuckle, scissoring and thrusting. His mouth wandered over to the other nipple. He didn't know how much time passed. Somewhere in the back of his lust-fogged mind he thought hazily that he could have kept this up forever. His own pleasure took an unimportant secondary position to Duo's. All he wanted was to hear those liquid moans, see those dark eyes glazed with pleasure, and to watch that expressive face. To feel the slim body writhing and bucking against his own. Demanding more. Begging for more. He realized he was addicted. Would he be able to keep his hands off this body? Out of it? He felt Duo's thighs tensing, clenching around Heero's waist. He took it as a final sign. Smearing the last of Duo's release on himself, he slid his free arm under Duo's shoulders and lifted. "Come here," he murmured. Still amazed by Heero's displays of strength, Duo caught on quickly what Heero wanted him to do. When his lover effortlessly pulled him upright, he settled astride Heero's thighs and lifted himself up so Heero could align himself. Those clever fingers buried inside him didn't pull free until Duo felt the blunt head of Heero's arousal nudge his entrance, and he pushed it into Duo so quickly there was only a second of emptiness. It was painfully intense. Heero was thick and long, piercing into Duo so deeply he saw stars. It drove all the air from his lungs, leaving him breathless and gasping, clinging to Heero as muscles fought to adjust to an altogether new intrusion. Heero penetrated his body and into his soul, and he thought in that moment, he belonged to this boy completely. Whatever Heero wanted, he would give. Heero could break him easily, but Duo was secure in that knowledge because he knew Heero never would. Then Heero was seated to the hilt and stopped, allowing Duo some time to adjust. Heero's strong hands stroked up his back and through his hair. Duo closed his eyes and laid his head against Heero's shoulder, focusing all his attention on that burning place they were joined. It was tight and hot and it ached somewhat, but it wasn't exactly painful. Heero had been too thorough for that. The local skin felt a little pinched, which he supposed could be because the lubrication available wasn't as slippery as . . . say, KY. Duo's lips curled up in a smile. Pain, pleasure, and emotion, he was so happy he thought he could die right here. He had almost no memories beyond these last few days, but looking back he found them to be good ones. How much Heero had done for him, restoring Duo's confidence without seeming to do anything at all. How could a single person be so amazing? Know so exactly what he needed to do? He decided only love could inspire someone to watch a person so closely they knew them inside and out. Only Heero, he thought, could have saved him. "I love you," he whispered, lips brushing over the naked skin of a strong shoulder. Heero squeezed gently in response. He's not treating me like a woman, Duo thought hazily. I'm submissive, but I don't feel . . . inferior, somehow. As if I'm less of a man because he topped me. In fact, in ways Duo couldn't really define, this position made him feel powerful. Because it was from his body that Heero found his pleasure, and when he lifted his head to peer into cobalt eyes he could see Heero was feeling overwhelmed by it. He lifted his lips a little, squeezing his internal muscles to create a smooth drag. Heero's eyes snapped shut, a hiss escaping his teeth. It sent a strong bolt of desire down Duo's spine. Heero had been so intent on driving Duo insane he hadn't had enough coherent thought to try watching Heero. It was a powerful aphrodisiac, knowing he was the one giving his lover such bliss. So he did it again, undulating his hips in a slow circle, grinding down to drive Heero deeper. A groan gathered in Heero's throat and spilled off his lips, sounding like honey and amber. Duo leaned forward and seized Heero's mouth, curious to see of the sound tasted like it, too. His actions caused Heero to snap his hips up, the head of his arousal striking Duo's prostate with some force. He yelped into Heero's mouth, and his lover greedily swallowed the sound. Then they were both moving, the time for teasing past as desire took over. Duo could barely focus, but Heero's control was inhuman and he established a rhythm. Duo once more allowed himself to be lost, because it was what Heero wanted-and it was what he wanted, as well. Was it possible, Heero wondered dimly, to love someone so much it hurt? Was this warm ache in his chest caused by the intensity of emotion he felt toward this writhing, fey boy on his lap? For once there was nothing on Heero's mind except for the existing moment, nothing to analyze or categorize. The soldier was gone, melted away into the distant background where he had no sway over Heero anymore. Was this what it felt like to truly follow one's heart? To think with it, feel with it, act with it? If so, he was prepared to give himself over to it. Because Duo was responding to it so beautifully, with such wanton abandon, Heero wanted to see it all the time. He slid his hands down Duo's back to grip two perfect, round globes of flesh and squeeze. Duo moaned again, and Heero used his leverage to pick up their pace, driving in more forcefully now, gently spreading Duo until the resistance of skin warned him to stop. The most amazing panting whimpers fell off Duo's lips, his eyelids fluttering as he tried to keep his eyes locked on Heero's, his fingers digging into Heero's shoulders until his nails broke skin. Heero winced, more out of reflex because he couldn't feel anything except mind-melting pleasure. Surging forward, he latched onto Duo's neck, biting and sucking. "I love you," he murmured. "God I love you. I'll never let go of you now, Duo . . ." "H-Heero . . ." Duo sobbed, back arching, "I'm yours . . . yours . . . don't ever let go of me . . ." You're mine, Heero agreed, and I'm yours. It broke over them slower than one might imagine. Their pace was rather frenzied, therefore it seemed so, too, must be their release. But it wasn't so. Heero felt it in the slow tensing of Duo's muscles in his thighs and hips, his body arching upward slowly and gracefully. His eyes slid shut almost as if he were falling asleep, only the frozen ecstasy belying the impression. Heero followed him almost as if drawn by some invisible force, and it began with a flood of liquid white against their bellies. In the time it took to blink Heero felt his own body answering in kind, and the sensation was incredible. Bright bursts of colors behind his eyes, pleasure pouring out of him in waves, all of it sublimely supplemented by watching Duo come undone. He was flying. For what felt like a long time he was flying with Duo, the only two people in the world. Then he was falling. Duo wrapped securely in his arms he was falling, but there was no fear of a harsh landing. Rather, bliss swallowed him in a thick, warm blanket of peace. Nothing but a relaxed, tingly body and a comforting weight pressed against his chest. When he finally opened his eyes, he found himself sprawled in Wing's seat, Duo laying peacefully against him. His love's eyes weren't quite closed, but only a slit of indigo was visible. He shifted, and it caused him to slip from Duo's welcoming heat. It roused Duo a little, and he looked up at Heero. "I wasn't ready for you to go, yet," he protested softly. Heero dragged his fingers through the congealing mess on their stomachs and lowered his hand, sliding two fingers into Duo's relaxed body. Indigo eyes flickered shut and Duo sighed, looking for all the world like a content cat. Heero imagined cinnamon covered neko ears and smiled faintly at the image. Too cute for words. For a long, long time they stayed like that. Content in each others' arms, secure in each others' love. Heero didn't thrust his fingers into Duo so much as slide them up and down, mostly keeping them in contact. It wasn't enough to arouse either one, and Heero made a mental note to explore this later on. Eventually the breeze began to feel too cold. While Duo was a lot stronger now, it would still be easier than usual for him to get sick. So he regretfully slid his fingers free and urged Duo to get up, cleaning them both up and dressing. Duo didn't take his eyes off Heero, and Heero was a little mystified by the mix of emotions he could see on their indigo surfaces. Love, first and foremost. Regret. Wistfulness. Longing. Satiation. A hint of desire. Reaching out, he brushed an errant lock of hair off Duo's cheek. "What is it?" It was enough to prompt Duo to press against him, snuggling into his arms. He tucked his head under Heero's chin. "It's just kind of a strange feeling," he admitted presently. "You have two sets of memories of me. From before . . . and now. Which one of me do you love more, Heero?" For a moment, Heero couldn't think how to respond. The question caught him off guard. Closing his eyes, he rested his cheek on top of Duo's head. "That's a dumb question." The words obviously riled Duo-his head came up, an annoyed/angry gleam in his eye. Heero laid a finger over his lips. More a request not to speak than a command. "It's true I remember our prior experiences together," he began explaining, "but . . . how can I say it? You aren't two different people, Duo. Maybe you don't remember before. But you're still the same person. All your mannerisms, the way you talk and think, they're still you. Don't you understand? Without me doing anything you recovered and came back to yourself. I love you, Duo Maxwell, not our experiences during the war or the time we had together. Just you." Tears misted Duo's eyes, blurring the color a little. A single drop spilled past long lashes and slid down a pale cheek. A watery smile crossed his lips. "You're wrong. You did everything, Heero. I wouldn't be here without you. I . . . I think because someone as amazing as you loves me, I feel I'm strong enough to be worthy of that love." Heero immediately shook his head, feeling a sting in his own eyes. "You're the amazing one, Duo. From the moment I first saw you, you've amazed me." How easy it was, he thought wonderingly, to spill his feelings out like this. Even a few months ago it would not have been possible. Perhaps these last hellish weeks were a blessing in disguise. "I love you. I love everything about you." Now Duo was crying in earnest, but Heero could see they were happy tears. He threw his arms around Heero's neck, jumping up as he did to wrap his legs around Heero's waist. Heero caught and held him easily. "I love you, too, Heero. God I love you so much. I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I don't even care anymore. How can you be so wonderful?" He finished that last with a kind of choked laugh. Heero snorted softly. "Maybe because of you," he mused. I don't think I learned how to feel until you. "Come on, koibito. We should get out of this cold. I'd hate getting sick." A soft giggle. "Me neither." His legs slid to the ground and he gave Heero a peck on the lips. It was an almost innocent kiss. "Race you back to the hangar." He ran across Wing's outstretched arm, leaping into his own Gundam. Shaking his head, Heero waited for Duo to get situated
before bringing the enormous mobile back to life. Duo was still Duo,
no matter what life brought him.
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