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"From the Shadows to the Light "Written By: Hemlock Inyx Category: Supernatural/Romance AU Pairings: 2x5x2 Rating: R Spoilers: Mild, if any. Warnings: OOC-ness, yaoi, vampires DISCLAIMER: This chick does not own any of the Gundam Wing characters because they belong to Bandai and Sunrise. I am borrowing them for this fict and will return them in good (if somewhat sticky) condition. I also don’t own Lynn Erickson’s Out of the Darkness, on which this fict is heavily based (well more like a fusion/translation). This fict is written out of love and not for profit, don’t sue. Thanks and enjoy! This is dedicated to: TJ Dragonblade for all her enthusathem for this fic. Thanks for being so crazy TJ. Summary: Chang Wufei had sworn revenge on the creature who had made him less than a man—had sworn to strike him down. Then he met nurse Duo Maxwell, who reawakened all the best parts of his latent humanity. But Wufei knew he was putting Duo at risk—and not only from himself. His old enemy Milliardo took an unholy interest in all Wufei’s affairs. Duo was a fighter, though. He believed in Wufei. He believed that Wufei could be cured of his "condition," that they could find a way to have a life together. But Duo hadn’t reckoned on Milliardo, who was determined to thwart Wufei—and Duo—until the end of time.
" From the Shadows to the Light " Chapter 14 It was, of course, dark in Finland when they landed at the airport. Dark and very cold, and there was snow on the ground. Wufei had arranged for a car to meet them, and it was waiting, motor purring, while the driver fetched their bags from customs. For once Duo was truly glad for the service Wufei took for granted, because he was very tired, exhausted, in fact. He hadn't slept, because he'd been so worried about Wufei, and now he had a whole new lexicon of things over which to agonize. Milliardo, the cure they were seeking, the awful, wrenching love he felt for Wufei, the impossibility of it all... "Duo?" "Um, oh, yes," he said, his head resting on the soft leather of the limo's back seat. "Do you feel well?" Came his voice from the warm darkness of the vehicle's interior. "I’m fine, just fired," he murmured. "Tired. You are sure? There is nothing else wrong?" "Just tired, Wufei, really." "We will be at the hotel soon," he said, "and you can sleep." In answer Duo reached over and touched his hand, just once, lightly. When they reached Helsinki proper, Duo's curiosity took over, and he looked out the window despite his weariness. The boulevards were broad, many of the buildings built in a formally beautiful nineteenth-century style of architecture as they got closer to the city center. On the airplane Wufei had told him that film companies often used Helsinki whenever they filmed Russian movies set in the past; the city certainly did have a weighty and somber central-European look. Despite the very late hour, there were still some people on the well-lit streets, although most of the bars and restaurants were closed, and there were cars on the wide avenues, especially Volvos and Mercedes. Helsinki had a prosperous look, no doubt about it. "The Finnish people, you know, call their country Suomi," Wufei said. "Finland is only a name given to them by Sweden, who ruled the country for hundreds of years. The Finns are not of the Scandinavian race at all, although they've intermarried for centuries. They are racially akin to the Hungarians, and their language is similar, as well." "Do you know Helsinki well?" he asked. "I have not been here since 1940, and then the country was in the midst of a war against the Russians. It was a terrible time. The Winter War, it was called, and Finns dug up cabbages frozen in the ground so as not to starve." "How terrible." "Finland had a bad time of it then. They were forced to make a treaty with Germany against the Allies, all because of Russia, you understand, and when Germany lost the war, the Finns had to pay reparations to the Allies. But they did it, and succeeded in keeping Russia out. They are a very proud and stubborn people." "And Heero Yuy?" Duo asked quietly. "A good…friend. One of the few. He fought in that war because he had principles, and he met a man. I did not understand at the time, not at all. I thought he was foolish, talking as he did." "Talking--how?" "About his mortal man, about wanting to stay and grow old with him. Insanity." Wufei bowed his head. "Or so I thought at the time." "But you didn't stay, Wufei. Why?" "I never stayed anywhere for very long. And I followed Milliardo, you see. When he left, I did, too." "Where did you go?" "Russia, the Soviet Union, actually. I followed Milliardo to Siberia, to the Gulags, where Stalin was murdering those who opposed him. The situation was ripe for a creature of Milliardo's habits." "But you didn't find him?" "Yes, I found him, several times." Duo turned away and looked out the window, unable, unwilling, to imagine those meetings. He'd just seen Wufei return from one of them, and it was frightening how much it had taken out of him. Their hotel was the Strand Intercontinental, a large, modem building near the seaport. It was done in the ultra-contemporary design for which Finland was famous--sleek, clean lines, chrome and glass and pale wood, bright-colored, wildly patterned fabrics--and Duo thought that the brightness somehow must serve to dispel the endless dark of winter. The decor did little to cheer him, though, as he waited wearily while Wufei checked in. He glanced around idly, noting the number of people still milling about, some walking in from the cold, many of them clad in elegant fur coats and hats. And that was when he noticed one particular couple, quite handsome, though there was something else... Duo was certain that no one else in a million years would have noticed it, but the woman, a beautiful blonde with exquisitely white skin, paused, only momentarily, and made eye contact with Wufei. She then resumed walking toward the bank of elevators, but when she whispered something to her partner, he, too, made eye contact with Wufei. They knew one another, Duo realized, and his heart began a slow pounding. Were they... ? Wufei had returned to his side, keys in hand. "I am sorry it took so long," he said. "I know you are tired." He began to move toward the elevators where a bellboy waited with their luggage. "Wufei," Duo said, and he put a hand on Wufei’s arm, stopping him. "That couple just getting on the elevator..." "Yes?" he said mildly. "You... you know one another." For a long moment his eyes fixed on him, and then he said, "Yes." "Are they..." "Yes." "Oh" was all he could say. But before they began toward the bellboy again, Wufei said quietly, "It would be best if you say nothing more about this. Should we meet with them again, pay no attention. There are many of my...kind here in this northern land. It is the long winters, you understand, the darkness." "Oh," Duo said again. "Oh." They were shown to a suite, two bedrooms and a beautifully decorated living room, all blues and grays and swirling designs on the drapes and upholstered furniture. Duo desired nothing more than a shower. Wufei, though, appeared distracted and said that there was something he needed to do. "I shall be back shortly," he said. "Lock the door behind me." "You're going to find them," Duo said, looking up sharply from his suitcase. "Perhaps," he allowed. "You think they might know something about Yuy." "It is a possibility." "Oh, Wufei," he said, suddenly re-energized, "if they do know... If..." But he put out a hand. "Do not get your hopes up, Duo. Just, please, make certain the door is properly latched, and I shall be back presently." "All right," he said quietly, but gave him a hopeful smile, anyway. While Wufei was gone he showered in the spacious blue-tiled bathroom, letting the hot water flow over him for a long time, until the entire room was filled with steam. When he finally turned the water off and stepped out of the shower he had to open the door and rub on the mirror to clear the glass. Duo was peering at his reflection, his wet hair wrapped in a towel, when a swift blurred shadow appeared in the glass. He whirled around. "Wufei?" But there was nothing there, only the wisps of steam still floating in the hot, moist air. "Wufei?" he said, but something in him already knew he'd get no answer. His heart began a slow, heavy beat, and he wrapped a towel around him, forcing himself out into the bedroom. "Wufei?" he tried again, his voice faint. Water pooled at his bare feet, soaking the carpet. "Okay," he said, taking a breath, "I know someone's here." Duo felt it then, a movement of air, as if something or someone had passed right in front of him. Goose bumps rose on his skin, and his breath came fast and hard. It was him. Somehow he'd gotten in. It had to be Milliardo. Duo stood stock-still, fear tingling along his spine. "I'm not afraid of you," he managed to say. "Why don't you show yourself?" Again, that movement of air, a cool whisper against his skin. With all the courage he could muster, he turned around slowly, looking behind him. Nothing, nobody. Then slowly, slowly, he backed up against the wall and stood there, waiting, all his senses straining. And then he heard it, a noise out in the suite's living room, an almost imperceptible sound of something soft brushing against carpet, and his heart burst in his chest. He was gone. Duo sensed it. He took a deep breath and forced his feet to move, across his bedroom, into the blue-splashed living room where the hothouse flowers in the beautiful Itala glass vase were shedding their petals. Then he was running to the door, fumbling with the handle. It was still locked. When Wufei finally returned, Duo had calmed himself, had even tried to convince himself he'd imagined the whole incident. He'd dried his hair and sat in an upholstered, modernistic blue chair, bundled in a bathrobe, his legs tucked under him, reading brochures. Wufei came in so quietly he almost didn't hear him. His pulse leapt. "Ah," he said, "I thought you might have been asleep." "I was waiting for you." Wufei sat in a matching chair across from him. "You wished to hear what we spoke of, those others and I?" "Yes. But first, Wufei, I..." He stopped, not wanting to upset him. Maybe he had imagined the whole incident. "Did they know Yuy?" He asked. "No, they did not. However, they have heard of him. Rumors, whispers. From long ago. It may be that he did undergo some bizarre change, or so the tales go." "Wufei, did you find out where they heard this from? Did you ask them for names?" Duo asked eagerly. He held up a hand. "They were quite uncomfortable talking about it. And they knew nothing substantial. You must understand, Duo, that talk of a cure, of becoming mortal strikes fear into their hearts. It means death to them, age and sickness. They are not all as I am. You must know that the lure of eternal life, eternal youth, is too seductive for most. Even, sometimes, for me." Duo sat there and studied him, this strange creature whom he loved. Sometimes he knew Wufei so well it was as if they were two halves of a whole, yet sometimes he was incomprehensible to him. Inadvertently his fingers went up to his neck, to touch the fading marks as he considered what to say. "Wufei, do you…are you truly willing to give up immortality? I mean, maybe you haven't thought about it enough." Wufei stood up as if it were not his own muscles propelling him, but some unseen force. He folded his arms and frowned, two vertical lines appearing between his eyes. "You ask me that, Duo? You ask me after what I have told you? You have seen me suffer, have you not?" "Yes, but I... you have to be sure." He turned on his heel and went to the window. He was quiet for a time, and when he finally spoke it was seemingly on another subject entirely. "When I saw this harbor last there were ships burning, explosions, men dying, blood ...." He pivoted toward him. "That was half a century ago. And twenty years earlier in France men died. In Africa, Japan, New Zealand, Peru. Wars, famine, massacres, catastrophes. Five hundred years, and it goes on." He came close to Duo and looked down at him, his eyes hooded, "Enough. I have seen enough. I want an end, yes, to the loneliness and the horrors I must witness in every age. I want an end to the cravings that control me. Yes, Duo, I am sure." Duo didn't say "What if we can't find the cure?" but he didn't have to; he knew Wufei was thinking the same thing. The thought would remain unspoken between them, an unacceptable alternative. He was going to say something to Wufei, something hopeful and loving, but he had stiffened and was focusing inward, as if a hidden voice had drawn his attention. "What?" Duo asked. "Wufei, what is it?" He didn't answer; instead he went back to the window and put his hand on the glass, his head bowed, concentrating. Then he turned and leveled his gaze at him, and he saw the glint of black fire in his eyes. "He was here," Wufei said, his voice low, resonant, dangerous. Duo froze, his hands clasped in front of him. "He was here," Wufei repeated. "Yes," he whispered. Emotions flowed across Wufei's face. Hate, fury, fear for Duo. He came close to him again, standing over him, his face set now, implacable. "Did he touch you?" "No, Wufei, I wasn't even sure. I never saw him. It was just..." "He was here," Wufei repeated, "damn his evil soul!" "How did he get in?" Duo asked, afraid of the violence of Wufei's emotions. He said nothing, his face as hard and white as ice, but he went to the window and closed the lock, then yanked the drapes shut. "The window," Duo breathed. "There is a balcony outside," Wufei said. "I should have checked. I should have secured everything!" He whirled to face him. "You are never to be alone, do you understand? I will be with you every waking moment. Duo, do you hear me?" "Yes." He was pacing back and forth, agitated. He cursed in Chinese, then in some other language. Duo curled up in the chair, quiet, not wanting to incite him further. "This time he has gone too far! This time I will finish him," Wufei muttered. And that night, actually the early hours of the morning, when Duo retired, Wufei checked his room, his closet, his window, saw him into bed, stood at his door to shut off the light. "Sleep well," he said. "Xin ai." "Good night, Wufei," he said sleepily. "See you tomorrow." The next day, as the sun made its low arc in the winter sky and Wufei still lay in his darkened room, Duo pored over telephone books for Helsinki and its suburbs, looking for the name Heero Yuy. It was not there. He could live in another city, or he could have left the country, but if he'd been in Finland in the past, there would surely be a record of him somewhere. Finland was not a very large country, after all. Duo waited impatiently for the sun to set, which it did remarkably early this time of year; by two o'clock the sky was dimming, and Duo was dressed and ready to begin the search. They had discussed the best way to go about this task. Wufei had already explained to Duo that the Finns were sticklers for keeping records of there citizens. There was an all-encompassing system of social security for everyone, which ensured that all Finnish citizens receive pensions no matter where they reside. No one escaped the net of government record-keeping. Somewhere there would be information about Heero Yuy--an address, a marriage certificate, a pension, a death certificate. Something. They walked to the government building to which they'd been directed, a solid, imposing stone edifice. The office they were looking for read Kasanelakelakelaitos in Finnish, Folkpensionsanstalten in Swedish. National Social Insurance was the closest Wufei could translate it for Duo. Wufei spoke to the lady behind the counter in his limited Finnish, but the clerk's English was quite serviceable, so Duo could follow the conversation. "Heero Yuy," the clerk said, typing the name into her computer console. "I must tell you, sir, that it would take some while to locate records for 1940, if that was the last date Mr. Yuy resided here." She waited while names scrolled down her screen. Duo held his breath. It seemed to take forever, but it must have only been minutes. "No Heero Yuy, I am very sorry, sir, not in these records. There is no one of that name receiving a pension." Duo's heart fell. Wufei turned to him, his face showing neither hopelessness nor disappointment. "Shall we try else where?" he asked in a smooth, uninflected voice. "There are church records," the clerk said. "All births, deaths, marriages and divorces are registered there. It may be difficult to find one name, however. If you knew his official number, it would help you in your search." "Wait," Duo said, "could you try the man? Wufei, what was his name?" "I only knew his first name. Quatre." Duo turned to the clerk. "Please, could you try Quatre Yuy?" Again the woman tapped on her console, and they waited, Wufei absolutely immobile, Duo twitching with impatience. Finally the woman looked up at them. "There is a Quatre Yuy here, yes." "Oh, my God," Duo breathed. "He receives a pension." Duo laughed with joy. "We've found him!" "Perhaps this is not the same Quatre," Wufei said. "It is. I know it!" "But there is no Heero Yuy, no partner of this man," he said. "Exactly! Wufei, don't you understand? This is Heero's partner, and Heero must be..." "Dead," Wufei said in a strange voice. "Then he found the cure!" Duo cried. "Wufei, he found the cure!" ~ ~ ~ (***) ~ ~ ~ They dined at the Hotel, in the beautiful restaurant with its contemporary art collection. Rather Duo dined; Wufei was too distracted to even attempt disguising his lack of appetite this evening. He'd ordered only coffee. "We'll drive up there tomorrow," Duo was saying. "It's only a hundred miles. Urjala. A village on a lake. We'll find him, Wufei, I know it." His voice was full of determination. He was beyond hoping. For Duo the cure was a fact, nearly accomplished. "Yes," he said, and the anticipation, the triumph, he saw in Duo's eyes made him even more anguished. Ah, the disappointment when it came would be that much worse. And even if, by some remote chance they did actually find this cure, how would he protect them both from Milliardo? How? In a puny mortal state, he had no hope of destroying his enemy. And Milliardo would like nothing better than to foil Wufei, take Duo from him--God forbid!--take him and possess him and…it was unthinkable. No, it could not happen. Think, he had to think. How to finally vanquish Milliardo, how to tell Duo? How to tell him that because of him, his life--nay, something worse than his life--was in peril? But he was talking again. "We'll rent a car. I'll drive. It's too late tonight, but tomorrow we'll leave as soon as you get up." His words came quickly, piled one upon the other, and there was a frenetic light in his eyes. For him, all for him, this ceaseless energy of his that radiated beauty. Could others see the new gleam in Duo’s eyes, the graceful movements of his hands, the sweet seductive curve of his mouth, the beautiful line of his pale brows when he frowned over some problem? Damnit, that it would all be dashed, and Duo would lose his exquisite innocence and his hope. Or worse... "Duo," he said quietly, "it may not be as simple as you think. This man may not be Yuy’s partner, and if he is, he may not know anything about a cure. Perhaps Yuy was destroyed in some other way." "No!" Duo said fiercely. "It’s him, and he'll know. Oh, yes, he'll know. Don't you have any faith at all, Wufei?" He tried to smile, a futile effort. "Not really, Duo. I lost it all, you know." Duo looked at him for a long time, and he saw tears brimming in his eyes. Then he dashed them away with a hand. "No," he repeated, "I believe it's going to work out. I have enough faith for both of us, Wufei." Being close to Duo was double agony. He wanted him ceaselessly, every moment. The whiteness of his neck, the way his chestnut braid fell over his shoulder, his pink earlobe, his capable hands. Wufei felt the cravings writhe inside him, and he repeated the mantra to himself: I will not touch him, I cannot touch him. "Three hours or less, that's all it'll take, and we can find his cabin with no trouble. It's a tiny place. I looked on a map," Duo was saying. He'd offered himself to him. Wufei blinked, staring at his soft lips, at his throat as he swallowed a sip of wine. Duo, you know not what you do to me. "Wufei, do you hear me?" "Yes, I hear you. We will do as you wish. Of course we will." "Wufei," he said, his violet eyes wide and so very earnest, "it won't be long. And then...everything will change. It will be so wonderful." That it might be true! Wufei considered for a moment, a split second, what it would be like to exist as a mortal. Loving Duo, sharing, raising a family, growing old together, small irritations, tragedies, maybe, pain and sorrow and unutterable joy. Life. And then he discarded the thought, and hopelessness enfolded him in its familiar shroud. "Yes, Duo," he repeated, smothering the flames that licked at his innards, those bright hot yearnings that wanted Duo, all of him, flesh and blood and bone, to be possessed by him, now and forever. In their suite he came to him, stood close, too close, his eyes inexpressibly sad. "I know how hard it is for you. I know how good you are," Duo said, and he put his warm hand up to stroke his face. "It'll work out, Wufei. I know it will." He drew back, not wanting to hurt Duo’s feelings, but afraid of his own reactions. His hand dropped to his side. "I love you, Wufei. Everything will be all right." His voice was a gentle caress. He stepped back farther. "Go to bed, Duo." He sighed, his shoulders slumped. "I'll take care of the rental car tomorrow, Wufei. It won't be long now." "And lock your door," he said. "Yes, Wufei." At dawn he lay in his darkened room, waiting for oblivion to overtake him. The sun was poised to rise in the cold gray sky of the city on the Baltic. The northern lights had ceased their dancing display. He lay there and probed with his senses. Yes, that presence...it was still there, close, too close. He could hear in his head Milliardo's mocking laugh, he knew Milliardo's intent, and he knew with certainty that Duo was in danger as long as Milliardo walked the earth. How could he protect him as a mortal? The thought churned in his mind until he was finally claimed by the darkness he sought. They left Helsinki for the drive north just before four that afternoon. It was already full dark, and they were out of the city environs quickly as Wufei directed Duo from a road map. He was trying to be cheerful, Wufei could tell, and it was a valiant effort. "So I called home while you were asleep," he said. "I had to figure the time there, you know. Well, I got my mother and told her I was fine." He laughed then, and Wufei tried not to feast his eyes on the gleam of his teeth or his profile, the tiny chestnut hairs on his cheek made visible by another car's headlights. "And you know what she said? Why would anyone go to Finland in the winter for a vacation?'' "A vacation," he replied dryly. "She asked about you," Duo said shyly, giving him a sidelong glance. "I told her you were the most wonderful guy on earth." Wufei stirred in his seat and turned his head as if he were watching the lights of the countryside go by. Ah, but Duo wounded him when he said things like that! Family, mother-in-law, words that pierced him to the heart. He did not belong to that world, he could not belong. The drive was easy, the highway in good repair. The country was as Wufei recalled once they left the city--forests of evergreen and birch, hills, distant lakes. Fog lay in the low spots, drifting around tree trunks, lying over the black water of the lakes. A three-quarter moon threw shadows on the snow. "Gosh, this reminds me of the Adirondacks," Duo said after a time. "When I was a kid, we went camping in the Adirondacks one summer. By a lake. It looked just like this." "It is peaceful now," Wufei said. "It is hard for me to believe the war was fought here. It seems as if it were yesterday." "It was more than fifty years ago, Wufei." "And I am still the same, exactly the same as the day I left. Everything else changes, everything grows in its allotted pattern, blooms, dies. Everything," he said bitterly. "Don't," he whispered. "Don't torture yourself. We're almost there." He wanted to warn him. He wanted to say, "Duo, there is no cure, and if there was I could not dare avail myself of it before I destroy Milliardo." But he couldn't bring himself to do that to Duo. Not yet. Not until he had to. Silence lay between them as they raced through the night. It sat heavily, breathing in all the air, all the hope. "Well, we must be close," Duo said with forced cheer. "Look on the map, Wufei. How far is it?" "Six miles, ten kilometers," he said. "Oh Lord! My heart just gave a jump! We're almost there. Oh, Wufei." He dared a quick glance at him. "How well do you know this Quatre? I mean, Heero was your friend, but…do you think he'll remember you?" "I do not know. I only met him once or twice." "Did he...um, did he know you were...like Heero?" "Ah, yes, he did. He knew, and I made him very uncomfortable." "But he loved Heero." "He thought so," Wufei said. "Of course he did! They got married, didn't they?" "One might surmise that." Urjala was a collection of buildings, some picturesque log cabins from the old days, some newer, brightly painted houses. There was a lake like a black mirror, tall pines, clusters of white birches, sauna cabins built on the lake. Lights showed in windows, as if welcoming, beckoning them. They asked the whereabouts of Quatre Yuy at a gas station. The attendant only spoke Finnish, so Wufei got the directions. "Well?" Duo said. "Well?" "Yes, he lives here. Down by the lake." "Oh, my God! Wufei, he's truly here! I don't think I really believed it." Duo’s innocence, the excitement he felt. Wufei longed for a moment to share it with him, but refrained. No, he had other tasks to fulfill. Duo's agenda was not his. What he did not tell him was that the gas station attendant had recalled Heero Yuy--he'd died six years before It had taken all of Wufei's self-control to remain calm when he'd heard that. So Yuy had succeeded, had grown old and died. He had found the cure, and he had lived his life out as a mortal man. His Quatre was still here, nearby. And yet Wufei dared not even consider the ramifications. He could not. Duo drove, following his directions, peering into the darkness, turning off the main road onto a long narrow driveway, covered with snow. The trees were close around them, casting moon shadows across the road. "So, do we both go to see him? Or only you? Maybe the shock will be too much if we both go. I mean, he must be old now, Wufei. Does he speak English?" Duo's questions came quickly. He hardly paused to draw breath. "I'm a nervous wreck. What if...?" "There," he said, pointing, and Duo braked too quickly, sliding on the snow. The small log cabin sat alone by the lake, a square sturdy building with a cheery glow from its windows and a question mark of smoke from the chimney that was quite visible in the moonlight. Duo put a hand to his chest. "Oh, please, let him know what to do," he whispered to himself. Wufei got out of the car and went around to Duo's side, opening his door. Duo looked up at him for a moment, then got out. Together they stood facing the house, and without speaking they began walking across the moonlit snow that crunched coldly beneath their weight. Halfway there he felt Duo's hand touch his, then clasp it tightly, and even through his fears for him, his quandary over Milliardo, he considered the possibility that something might occur here tonight, a diverging of the paths, a choice, a difficult choice, but still... He reached the cabin door, stood there, feeling Duo at his side. He raised a hand and knocked on the plank door, once, twice, loud in the nighttime stillness. They waited, together, and he felt Duo's hand trembling in his. A minute crawled by, then another. Finally there was a faint shuffling, a rustle from inside, and Wufei caught the scent of blood, old, slow-moving blood. The door swung open, the light an elongated rectangle laid down on the snow, heat in his face, the sound of a fire crackling. A man stood on the threshold, his face scored by lines, his once blonde hair had turned silver gray. His blue eyes were still sharp, though, and took them in with no surprise, only a deep, weary worldliness. Quatre remained there studying them, and after a long minute he finally nodded and said, "I've been expecting you for a very long time." And then he held the door open for them to enter.
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