"Lost and Found"

Written By: The Plotting Housewife

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing belongs to Bandai, Sotsu and associated Parties. This work is written for pleasure not profit.

Rating: NC 17

Warnings: Yaoi,Friends to Lovers,Angst,Pining,Romance,Preventers,Alternate Universe, Hurt/Comfort, Pining!Quat, Oblivious!Duo, Fluff, sap

Pairings: 2x4, 5xS

Summary: Duo keeps finding paper hearts in the Preventers lost and found bin.

"Lost and Found "

Duo arrived at work the next morning, earlier than usual. He didn't sleep a wink all night, tossing and turning until the sheets were hopelessly twisted around limbs restless with anxiety. He couldn't stand it anymore. Couldn't just lay there while his jumped up body practically vibrated with jitters. He couldn't stop fidgeting no matter how hard he tried to relax. His stomach did wild somersaults, flipping to and fro, sour from lack of food.

He'd finally gone home well after dark once gazing at the stars could no longer keep his attention away from the situation with Quatre. He had deposited himself at the picture window, knees drawn up to his chest and a bottle of Jose Cuervo dangling from his fingers until two in the morning when he finally dragged his sorry ass to bed.

He was fatigued in ways he'd never been before, not even during the war, and he wasn't sure why. His legs shambled unsteadily across the floor with a drowsy heaviness, arms feeling like lead weights as he poured water into the reservoir of the coffee pot. He didn't even acknowledge Wufei sitting a few feet away, which was unusual considering Duo typically started his day with a, "How's it hangin,' Fei-Ray," followed by some light-hearted ribbing.

Wufei eyed him from the table, finger poised over a page in his book, noting the taxed way Maxwell moved, but said nothing. Winner had showed up early, too, looking much the same. He didn't greet Wufei with his usual cheerful exuberance. He simply nodded at him, not quite meeting his eyes and took his tea to his desk without a word. 

It seemed the two had a falling out of some sort and if Wufei, observant as he was, had to wager a guess, he'd say Maxwell found out about Winner's feelings for him. It seemed the news had not been taken well from the looks of it.

Duo felt Wufei's eyes boring into the side of his head like accusatory drills and he turned, shooting him a glare with bloodshot eyes. "Something I can help you with?"

Wufei was taken aback by the low, almost growling edge to his voice. He shook his head. "No. I was just noticing the difference in your demeanor this morning."

"Don't start with me, Chang. Not in the mood." He scooped coffee grounds into the filter and slammed it into the pot, flipping the switch harder than was necessary. 

"I can see that."

Duo said nothing, just stared at the coffee maker as it dripped into the decanter, his fingers drumming restlessly on the counter. 

Wufei cleared his throat. "Any particular reason you're here an hour early?"

"Any particular reason you are?"

"I'm always here at this time."

Duo's face was incredulous. "Why?"

"It's quiet this time of day. It gives me a chance to catch up on work in peace."

"Reading The Art of War is work?"

Wufei narrowed his eyes. "I'm taking a tea break."

Duo grunted and swiped the pitcher before the coffee was finished brewing. The drips sizzled against the hot plate as he poured himself a mug and slipped it back in. He considered having a doughnut, but decided against it when his stomach protested the idea. He took his coffee over to the table and sat down across from Wufei, leaning his head on his arms and blowing out an exhausted sigh.

"You wanna talk about it?"

Duo's eyes blinked at him blearily over the top of his arm. "Did you seriously just ask me that?"

Wufei huffed and shrugged his shoulders. "Contrary to what you may believe, I'm actually a good listener. I also consider you my friend." He blushed at the confession and tried to hide it behind his mug.

That got a slight smile out of Duo. "Why, Chang. I'm flattered."

"Don't let it go to your head, Maxwell."

Duo sighed, voice muffled as he mumbled against his arm. "I'm pretty sure you already know and I'd appreciate you not giving me any shit about it."

"I don't make light of matters of the heart. You should know that much about me by now."

Duo extended his arms across the table. "I'm just - I don't know what to do. I found out last night that Quat -" He shook his head, thumping it against the table with a groan.

"That he's in love with you."

Duo lifted his head and eyed him critically. "How long have you known?"

Wufei leaned back in his chair, pretending to think about it. "Oh, let's see...what day is it? I'd probably say close to a year -"

"A year?!"

"Keep your voice down," Wufei snapped. "Winner is at his desk."

Duo visibly paled. Oh, shit. He was here, too? He didn't even notice his car in the parking lot.

"Yes, he's here early, too, genius. Guess he couldn't sleep either. What happened between you two anyway?"

Duo's head dropped back to the table, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "I fucked up."

"How?"

"I finally realized Quat felt something more for me than friendship. Apparently a year, or more, after everyone else figured it out."

"And I'm guessing you didn't handle it well."

"Well, what was I supposed to do? How am I supposed to act, or feel about it?"

"You don't love him back?"

"I -" Duo hadn't really thought about it. He'd been so preoccupied with the humiliation that he hadn't known. Too busy feeling mortified, like a fool. "I - don't know..."

"Well, I'd suggest you figure it out and not leave him hanging. I get the sense that he believes your friendship is over. Not to mention the fact that you two still have to work together and you can't let this compromise your duties to Preventers."

He sighed. "I know. I don't know how I can face him now."

"You had no trouble before."

"That was before I knew!"

"What difference does it make?"

"It makes all the difference!" 

Wufei nearly laughed at Duo's affronted expression. "Why?"

Duo's mouth opened, then closed. He didn't know how to answer that. "Because..."

Wufei leaned forward, eyes steely. "Why?"

Duo sat back, momentarily speechless. Wufei nodded and stood up. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe it's because you feel the same way?" He turned to leave the room, leaving Duo stunned at the table. 

Did it occur...what? No, he - did he? He didn't know. He'd never been in love before. He stared at the wall, frozen with numb shock.

Was their friendship over? No, of course not. The mere thought left him with such a deep feeling of despondence and grief. Not having his Quat, his little buddy by his side was more depressing than he could ever imagine. Quat was his everything. His friend, his brother, his companion, his confidant. Not having him around would feel like losing a piece of his soul.

Had he thought about sleeping with him? Of course. Quat was beautiful. Not the type Duo usually went for, but he wasn't lying when he'd said he was a dick magnet. He'd seen the way other guys eyed the blond up. Watched them hit on him. Had often entertained fantasies of making love to him. Kissing those rosy, pouting lips. Stroking that smooth, milky skin. Listening to that musical voice cry out in ecstasy. Watching him come undone and being the one responsible.

Aside from random daydreams and late night guilty pleasures, he'd never seriously considered pursuing it. Mainly because he didn't think Quatre was attracted to him although now, he didn't know why he'd thought that. He also didn't want to jeopardize their close friendship. Things like sex and romance could complicate friendships in ways that were irreversible. The evidence had been in his reactions last night. To say things had become more complicated would be an understatement.

Was it something he was willing to risk? He wasn't sure. He was at a proverbial crossroad, any path he chose to take could make or break his relationship with Quat. They could go back to the way things were and then he would spend the rest of his life wondering what they could have been. But then he'd have to live with himself knowing he hurt Quat with his sexual escapades. He could try a relationship with him, but what if it went sour? They could wind up hating each other. It had certainly happened to plenty of people before. 

Either road he could go down had the potential for being disastrous. But it could also lead to something more. A real relationship, more meaningful than anything else he'd ever experienced in his life. But was he ready for that? He'd been enjoying the single life. Enjoying playing the field and sampling the diverse selection of men out there. He would have to give that up if he initiated a relationship with Quatre. 

He had to decide what was more important: His intrepid sex life, or something much more absolute. A monogamous relationship which included sex. He propped his chin on his hand, and stared down at the table. He definitely loved Quat. Loved him more than he'd ever loved anyone else. He knew he couldn't live without him. He needed those sparkling blue eyes to light up his life. The sweet smiles that he would kill for. That laugh that never failed to make him grin, filling every nook and cranny of his body with warmth. He needed everything Quatre was willing to give him, which, he realized, was everything.

Quatre was everything. It had taken him until now to see it, but it was clear. It shone down on him like the rays of sunlight on a warm summer day, like a revelation from the Heavens. Like divine hands smacking him upside the head. The clarity was startling in hindsight.

"Oh, Jesus. I love him. I'm in love with him."

He didn't have any set plans. He couldn't think that far ahead yet. He'd have to play it by ear. See where this took them and hope for the best. He had to try. Risks weren't something he usually worried about and he wasn't going to start now. He picked up his mug and took the now cold coffee to the microwave to reheat it, feeling a thousand times better. He was alert with insights that had been lurking in the back of his mind for a long time. They shoved their way into the forefront, fighting for supremacy and this time he paid attention to them. They could do this. They were an unstoppable team. There wasn't anything they couldn't accomplish when they set their minds to it. 

He glanced down into the lost and found bin as he pulled his coffee out of the microwave, heart skipping as a smattering of red covered the entire top of the bin, nearly drowning out everything else that was in it. He reached in to pick one up. It was the same red heart, but it was only a half. He picked up another one. Another half. The hearts were there, a good few dozen more than the ones left in there yesterday, but they were torn up. Split right down the middle and tossed carelessly into the box. 

The implication made Duo's chest clench painfully. Whoever had dropped these in here was suffering from a broken heart. The dots in his head connected with acute awareness, pieces of the puzzle clicking into place. It was Quatre. It had to be. But why the hell was he dropping them in the lost and found?

Feeling sick, he abandoned the torn hearts, leaving them in the box this time as he rushed towards their cubicles. He found Quatre sitting at his desk, his back hunched over almost as if he was trying to curl in on himself. Duo felt crushed. He'd done this. He stepped up behind him, steeling himself, smothering his doubts. This was it. All or nothing. There was no going back.

"Quat?"

Quatre's back stiffened, his fingers pausing in his typing. His head turned a little and Duo studied his profile. His pretty face was turned down in sorrow. His button nose was tinged in red. He looked at the cute little ears that he'd often fantasized about biting in the midst of sex. The thick blond hair that he loved, curled in platinum wisps around those ears, that sweet face. How could he ignore what was between them for so long?

"What is it, Duo. I'm working." Quatre's voice was dull, lifeless, a little croaky and Duo swallowed around the lump in his throat.

"Can we talk?"

Quatre spun in his chair and Duo nearly gasped at how wretched he looked. His eyes were glassy, bloodshot, exhausted, and puffy. He'd obviously been up all night crying and Duo wanted to hit himself repeatedly over the head. He wanted to take Quatre into his arms and tell him everything would be okay.

"There's nothing to talk about," he said. "I get it. I'm sorry I never told you and I'm sorry I screwed everything up -"

"You didn't, though, Quat!"

"Didn't I?" He asked in that same dead monotone. "Could have fooled me." He turned back to his work and Duo could hear the clicking as he started typing again.

The rest of the Preventers started arriving now that it was close to normal time and Duo didn't really want an audience. He reluctantly went to his own cubicle, though he popped his head over the partition. "We're going to talk about this later."

Quatre said nothing. Just continued to type on his keyboard with the same cadaverous expression. Duo was itching to get him alone so they could resolve this. He was impatient, restless the entire morning and when they went out on assignment, he tried again.

It was a warm day. Warmer than average and he opened the car windows while they waited in awkward silence for their suspect to show up. He turned to Quatre who looked out his window, distant, much the way he had the day before. Duo cleared his throat, not sure where to start.

"Save it."

"Quat -"

"No. It's fine. I understand -"

"No, I don't think you do." Yesterday, Quatre had said he wouldn't understand, but he did. More than he thought he would. Now, it was Quatre who didn't understand. "You don't understand."

"What's there not to understand?" Quatre turned solemn eyes on him. "I've been making an absolute fool of myself mooning over you like a love-sick school girl. And everyone knows it. I know you don't feel the same way and I understand if you don't want to be friends anym -"

"No, see. That's where you're wrong, Quat. I do want to be friends. I...want to be more than that -"

"No, you don't."

The frustration bubbled up, swift and powerful. "Damn it, Quat! Why aren't you listening to me?"

"I don't want you to tell me this because you feel sorry for me."

"It's not because I feel sorry for you!"

"Then why?"

"Because I -" Duo fumbled for the right words. "I finally realized that I don't just want to be more than that. We already are more than that. Don't you see? You're my whole life. You're not just my best friend, you're my - my everything! You mean more to me than anyone else ever has."

"When did all this happen? In between sleeping with all those guys?" Quatre's voice was hard, bitter. Duo's jaw clenched, ruffled as that comment struck a nerve.

"I didn't think you felt any attraction towards me -"

"How could you not? Everyone else saw it. Why didn't you?"

"I don't know. Maybe I did, but - I chose to ignore it because I was afraid."

Quatre stared at him, eyes huge with incomprehension. "Afraid of what?"

"Afraid of losing what we already had." Quatre scoffed. "No, hear me out. You know that stuff like this can complicate friendships. Even end them. I'm not going to deny that I've been attracted to you this whole time. I don't lie. Never have." Duo held up his hand when Quatre opened his mouth. "You know that's true. I chose to ignore it and that's all on me. I always just thought having you as a friend was better than nothing at all."

Quatre observed him quietly for a minute, then turned his head away. "I don't know, Duo."

"Why don't you trust me?"

"It just seems a little too convenient!"

"What's convenient about me realizing that I love you?!" He shouted before he could stop himself.

Quatre paused, his heading jerking back to face him. "What did you say?"

Well, shit. It was out. There was no turning back now. Duo sagged in relief, not only because he'd actually said it, but from the realization that it was actually true. "I love you, Quat. I always have. I think I always will."

Quatre was stunned, his mouth working to form words that wouldn't come out. Finally, he said, "Say that again."

"I love you."

He closed his eyes, a painful expression swept across his face. His voice was tiny, barely there. "Say it again."

Duo leaned forward and cupped that sweet face in his hands, his lips just barely brushing against Quatre's. He heard the soft intake of breath, whispered, "I love you, Quatre Raberba Winner. I love you, I love you, I love y -"

Quatre surged forward and connected their lips together. Duo groaned at how right it felt and he opened his mouth, dipping his tongue inside and tasting love and life and sweetness. The blond whimpered and kissed back with a voracity that left Duo shaky. They pulled away after a moment, relishing the soft sound of their lips smacking together and Quatre's lashes lifted as he gazed into Duo's eyes, misty, but elated and so full of adoration. Duo kicked himself again for not seeing it sooner. Or, maybe he had, but he'd been foolish enough to brush it off. To dismiss the all-encompassing love that Quatre had been wanting to give him for so long.

Quatre's eyes traveled over his face, his expression full of awe. His hand reached up to brush Duo's bangs off his forehead. "I love you, too. So damn much."

Duo smiled, brimming with emotions that left him dizzy, euphoric, so much that he feared he would burst at the seams. "Can we start over?"

Quatre grinned. "Yeah. Yeah, we can."

"Good. Tonight. You, me, dinner, and that movie you've been wanting to see?"

Quatre laughed and went in for another kiss. Duo indulged him, his hand wandering to the back of Quatre's head to grab a handful of those delicious curls. Quatre moaned in appreciation and Duo stored that little tidbit away for future use.

The walkie talkie on Duo's belt buzzed to life and the two jumped and pulled away from each other as Wufei's exasperated voice cut in through the static.

"You guys? Hellooooo. You paying attention? You'd damn well better be. Suspect at two o'clock. Green shirt, black pants."

Quatre laughed, blushing cutely. Duo's lip curled up in a smirk and he lifted the walkie talkie. "Yeah, we gotcha. On our way."

***

Duo was far more nervous than he'd ever been when he went home to change for his date with Quat. He stood in front of the mirror for nearly an hour checking one outfit combination after another and fussed with his hair until it cascaded over his shoulders and down his back in chestnut waves, highlighted in gold from spending hours in the sun. 

He was already thinking of the future, though he knew he shouldn't get ahead of himself. This was only just beginning and he didn't know if they could make it work. Still, he couldn't help it. He was giddy, flushed with new prospects, new opportunities. The freshness of beginning a new life, starting a new chapter with endless pages that they could write themselves. He felt new, reborn. He was entertaining thoughts of a life with Quatre, of finally settling down with someone he loved. Finally, finding someone worthy of settling down with. It didn't frighten him nearly as much as he thought it would.

He'd been serious when he told Sally that he could live happily ever after owning a surf shoppe on the beach and he idly wondered if it was something he and Quat could do together. Retire from the Preventers and live out their lives on the ocean, sipping Mai Tai's as they sold and rented out surf boards, maybe even selling lessons. Duo was still determined to have Quat surfing by his side. He was going to teach him, or die trying. He smiled fondly as he remembered Quat wiping out, flipping over himself and disappearing beneath the waves, only to pop back up again, coughing through his laughter.

He pulled up in front of Quatre's apartment building to see him waiting for him on the brick ledge outside, swinging his legs over the blooming tufts of daylilies that were planted around the complex. He hopped down with a giant smile when Duo's car stopped in front of the steps and reached for the door handle.

"Wait!" Duo shouted, leaping out of the car and racing around to the other side. He stopped in front of Quatre, breath catching at the cool blue eyes, alight with contrary warmth, gazing at him with heady ardor and emphasized by the powder blue of his shirt. He smelled incredible, good enough to eat and Duo leaned in for a kiss as his hand fumbled for the door handle. Quatre's fingers ghosted over his chest and he sighed into the lip lock, dipping his tongue briefly into Duo's mouth before Duo pulled away to open the door with a grin. "Gotta do this right." He made a sweeping gesture with his hand and Quatre blushed as he climbed into the car.

"You don't need to open the door for me, you dork."

"Quiet. I'm being a gentleman."

Quatre snickered as he closed the door and walked around to slide into the driver's seat. "Okay, where to?"

"How about that little Middle Eastern place that we go have lunch at sometimes?"

"Sounds good."

The silence on the ride there was companionable. Quatre rested his hand on Duo's thigh and he couldn't prevent the jolt of arousal at the feel of the warm palm so close to his groin. He wondered if this date would end in sex. Strangely not surprised that even if it didn't, he wouldn't mind. Even if it didn't, there'd be plenty of time for that. 

During supper, Duo was charmed by Quatre's seemingly permanent grin. It hadn't left his face since he'd picked him up.

"Why are you so happy?" He joked.

Quatre laughed around his mouthful of food and took a sip of water to wash it down. "Why do you think? It's hard to believe that just this morning, I thought I'd blown our friendship." He shook his head and speared a piece of lamb, shaking his fork in Duo's face. "You surprised me."

"I hope it was in a good way."

"The best! I didn't expect this."

"Quat, you know...there's nothing you can do that could ever end our friendship. Even if it turned out that I didn't feel the same, which I do, so no worries, but...I would never drop you like that. I just had my own shit to go through, to think about and I needed time and space to do it."

Quatre looked relieved. "I'm glad to hear that." He looked up at Duo, a smidgen of concern in his eyes. "Are you sure you've had enough time? I mean, this is great and all, but I don't want you to think you have to rush into this, you know? I am fine with just being friends if that's -"

"Quat. Quat, stop." He reached across the table and took Quatre's hands in his own, looked into his eyes so he could see, would know he was serious. "This is what I want. Okay? I'm not feeling pushed, or pressured at all. I promise this is what I want."

Quatre smiled and squeezed his hands, bending down to kiss his knuckles. "You've made me so happy. I hope I can make you happy, too."

"You already do."

The movie was as sappy as Duo thought it would be, but he didn't mind when Quatre held his hand and rested his head on his shoulder. He pressed his face into the warm curls, inhaling the sweet scent of strawberries and his heart soared with sensations that made his head swim and his heart thump against his rib cage. This was it. This was what his life had been missing. He'd had fun with those other guys, but they weren't what he wanted in the long term. He couldn't imagine ever settling down with any of them because the one his heart wanted was right here, right now. 

The night did end in sex, despite Duo telling him they didn't have to, though his groin protested, dick pressing angrily against the zipper of his jeans. Quatre kissed him quiet and grasped the hem of Duo's shirt, pulling it over his head and bending down to take a nipple into his mouth. Duo hissed through his teeth, fingers curling into the hair at the back of Quatre's head, which earned him a lustful moan. 

They dropped to the bed, onto their sides, and engulfed each other's erections until they were both groaning, unleashing their orgasms between each other's lips. Duo tipped Quatre onto his back and wedged himself between the deliciously creamy thighs, his cock still throbbing for more. He rubbed their groins together and relished Quatre's cries of pleasure, savoring the sting of fingernails dragging up and down his back. They kissed until they could no longer breathe and kissed some more until their heads spun, drunk with exaltation. 

Duo hummed into the blond's mouth, his tongue sliding in, then out, mimicking the motion of fucking and Quatre immediately understood, nodding his head and squeezing Duo between his thighs, his fingers grasping and pulling at Duo's ass to grind their pelvises together. Duo sunk first his fingers, then his cock into him and they moaned, shouted, and wept at their first consummation, their first Communion. Duo dropped his head onto Quatre's shoulder, biting and licking at the soft skin, the pleasure multiplied when making love to someone he cared about, someone he loved. Quatre clutched his braid, holding onto it like a lifeline as he was driven to dizzying heights of euphoria.

Afterward, they lay together with their limbs tangled, savoring the closeness and the gentle sounds of slowing breath. Quatre's fingers stroked up and down his side and he gazed at Duo like he was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Duo was positive his own eyes reflected the same emotions. He cupped a soft cheek, caressing it with his thumb. Every caress, every smile stoked the fires of desire and devotion and he welcomed it all with open arms.

So this was what it felt like to be in love.

***

He roused the next morning slowly, lazily, his hand sliding over to touch warm, milky skin. Instead of finding the body of his love, his hand encountered paper and his head rose up, frowning as he picked it up and brought it closer. 

Sorry. I had some work to do at the office. I'll see you soon. I love you. ~ Quat

He shrugged and stretched, emitting a loud groan as muscles that had gone unused for several hours thanked him. He had no idea what kind of work Quatre had to do, but figured he'd find out when he got there. He hopped into the shower, singing cheesy love songs off key and laughing at his own dorkiness. He threw on his uniform and headed to the office, a rather voracious spring in his step that he knew was obvious and didn't care one bit.

He was stunned when he approached his desk to discover it covered in red paper hearts. They were scattered all over his desk top, over his computer monitor, his keyboard, his inbox, his phone, even his chair. He was struck dumb and just stood there with his mouth hanging open. He glanced up at his coworkers who said nothing. Only showered him with smug, knowing grins.

"Good morning," said a soft voice behind him. He turned to see Quatre looking awkwardly at his feet as he shifted from one to the other, twiddling his fingers nervously.

"So it was you."

Quatre smiled, seeming a little nervous. "Yeah, it was me. I wasn't sure if you noticed, but -"

Duo was still confused though. "I still don't understand. Why the lost and found?"

Quatre laughed a little and took a step forward. "It's very simple." He looped his arms around Duo's neck and gazed into his eyes. "First, my heart was lost. That's why those hearts were in the lost and found. I was...hoping you would find them. After last night, I realized my heart was finally found. There's only one person it's ever belonged to." He nodded his head towards Duo's desk and smiled at him.

It was so simple, yet so profound.

"Quat..." Duo was speechless. Hopelessly charmed that Quatre had spent God knew how many hours at home, cutting up those damn hearts just so he could take them to work and drop them into the lost and found in a strange, and sappily romantic attempt to let Duo know how he felt. It was just like him to do something like that and Duo tossed his head back, laughing at how quirky, creative, and precious his boyfriend was. Overwhelmed with affection, he pulled Quatre into his arms and gave him a toe-curling kiss.

Their attention was momentarily diverted by the chorus of "Awww's" and the round of applause from their coworkers who gathered around to watch the riveting conclusion of the soap opera they'd been watching unfold for over a year. Quatre laughed, hiding his blush in Duo's shoulder. Duo's own cheeks flushed with heat and he scowled playfully.

"Alright, you guys. Bugger off now."

"It's about damn time," grumbled Wufei as he passed them on his way to the break room. "I was getting sick of watching the two of you dance around each other. It was pathetic."

Quatre's shoulders shook in laughter and Duo chuckled as he rubbed the blond's back.

"Thanks, Fei. That was sweet."

End.