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"Agglomeration"Written By: The Plotting Housewife Disclaimer: Gundam Wing belongs to Bandai, Sotsu
and associated Parties. This work is written for pleasure not profit. Rating: R Warnings: Humor Pairings: Trowa/Quatre (implied), Duo/Hilde (implied) Summary: Duo's methods may not be the most ethical,
but at least he gets the job done. "New Toys" Quatre dodged a stream of laser fire just in time to save the tip of his nose from being seared off. He rubbed away the slight burn and glanced at his partner, doing a double take when Duo reached into his duffle and pulled out a massive canon. “What the hell is that?” Duo looked at him as if he were a few cards shy of a full deck. “It’s a rocket launcher. Duh.” He propped the weapon on his shoulder, placing the end of the barrel on the lip of the wooden crate they were currently taking refuge behind. Quatre ducked and touched the singed hair on the top of his head as another laser blast careened over it, his nose prickling at the smell. “Damn it. I can see that. Where’d you get it?” Duo slid a rocket into the trap, popped the clip in place, and patted the top of the barrel. “Heh. Your lover boy is pretty handy.” The blond shot off a few rounds of his rifle, then pulled his arms back in, ducking down again as they were assaulted with another barrage of enemy fire. “Trowa gave you this?” “Affirmative,” Duo hummed, peering through the missile launcher’s scope. “This baby’s got a class five rating. Got a range of fifty miles. Blast radius of two hundred feet. Even then, I wouldn’t wanna be within five hundred feet of where this puppy lands. Knock your cashmere socks off.” Quatre bristled at the cashmere comment, but decided to let it slide. He released the clip on his rifle and slapped another magazine into it with a muttered, “I can’t believe Trowa gave you that.” “Well, actually…I lied. He didn’t exactly give it to me.” Quatre boggled at him. “You stole it?!” “Hey! You know how long I’ve been dyin’ to get my hands on one these suckers? Shee-it! Hilde was supposed to get me one for Christmas, but do you know what she got me instead? A shop vac, Quat. A fucking shop vac.” He shook his head at the indignity and rested his cheek against the barrel, making sure to open his mouth before he pulled the trigger. “S’a damn good thing you’re gay, buddy. Women can really suck the fun outta life, y’know?” “Duo, you -” “Alrighty! Let’s see what this baby can do. Show me the money!” “Duo! You have to watch the -” Ka-BLAM! “- kick back,” he finished, watching his friend fly ten feet back and into another stack of crates. He cringed as the crates on top wobbled and then toppled over, landing on Duo’s splayed legs. There was a pained groan from the bottom of the pile and then Duo’s leg twitched. “Little help?” He coughed, waving dust particles out of his face, and crawled over to assist. It took some hard shoves and then some hearty kicks before he was able to clear the heavy debris off his idiot partner. “Are you alright?” When there was enough room, Duo shimmied his way out, looking hilariously rumpled, covered in dust and soot. He gave Quatre a deliriously wide grin, his teeth glowing white from within the black char on his face. “That was kick ass,” he slurred dreamily. Quatre shook his head and helped him sit up, stopping cold with dread when Duo winced and yelped in pain. “What is it? Where are you hurt?” “Ow. I think a cracked a rib, or seven. Ah! Aw, damn. That smarts.” “I’ll call for backup,” Quatre said, unhooking his radio from his belt. “Next time, warn me ahead of time before you bring a nuke to a firefight, okay?” “Did I hit the target?” “And then some,” he answered, glancing at the raging inferno where half of a warehouse stood only moments before. “Hey, man. Don’t tell Tro I took his toy. He’ll just rebreak my ribs along with my skull.” “Sorry, buddy. You’re on your own.” “Aw, come on, Q! What have I ever done to you? Take one for the team. Please? What are best friends for?” “Even if I did take the fall for you, Trowa would never believe it. He knows I’d never take anything from his arsenal without telling him. Besides, you’re the thief around here.” “Damn,” Duo grunted, gingerly laying back down. Quatre stripped out of his jacket and placed it beneath his friend’s head, shaking his own in reprimand. “Yeah, well. At least I keep things interesting.” He pointed a shaky finger at the firestorm and smiled up at Quatre. “That was a good shot though, right?” “You’re an idiot.”
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