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"Agglomeration"Written By: The Plotting Housewife Disclaimer: Gundam Wing belongs to Bandai, Sotsu
and associated Parties. This work is written for pleasure not profit. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: Pairings: Summary: The Greek Gods of Death, War, Steel,
Life, and Love discuss important matters. "Ambrosia " The God of Death propped his feet on top of the long golden table and popped a few ripe, juicy grapes into his mouth. “C’mon, Fei, why not? You’re the God of War.” Wufei shot Duo a dark look over the golden roast goose that sat between them. “I’m not the God of War, you simpleton. That’s Heero, remember? And get your feet off the table! People eat here.” Duo pondered with a finger on his chin while decidedly not removing said feet from the table. “Oh yeah. That’s right. So…what are you the God of again?” “He’s the God of Steel, you fool,” Heero piped up as he walked into the room. He shoved Duo’s feet off the table. “That’s disgusting. I don’t want my supper tasting like your feet.” “Say, why do we eat anyway? We’re Gods. Aren’t we like, above all that?” Wufei rolled his eyes and peeled the skin off a leg of goose, dropping it onto the table beside his plate with thumb and forefinger. Heero sat down next to Duo and unfolded his napkin into his lap. “We eat because we can. We eat because there’s food.” “We eat because Quatre has an obsession with making it and for some reason, we don’t want to hurt his feelings,” said Wufei as he picked at the meat. Duo reached across the table and swiped the discarded skin. “You’re throwing out the best part.” He popped it into his mouth and chewed it loudly. Wufei’s face contorted into an expression of revulsion and he dropped his meat onto the plate. “Thanks for killing my appetite.” He grabbed a large orange instead, peeling it with careful precision. “But where does it go after we eat it? Don’t humans like…poop…or something? If we eat, why don’t we poop?” Wufei threw his uneaten orange down and leaned back in his chair. “You just had to bring up human bodily functions, didn’t you?” He picked up his wine chalice, praying to Zeus that Duo wouldn’t ruin that for him, too. Heero folded his hands over his empty plate and eyed the braided God. “Do you want to poop?” “Yuy!” Wufei shrieked. “Can you not?” Heero glanced at him, shrugged, and swiped the carving knife, slicing some goose for himself and Duo. Duo was pondering again, tapping his fingers on the tablecloth. “I don’t know. Sure, why not? I’ll try anything. It might be fun.” Wufei dropped his face into his hand and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Only you would think that.” Duo glanced back at the ornery God, his expression hopeful. “So…can you?” “No!” “Why not?” “Because I’m not the damn war God!” Duo turned big, pleading eyes on Heero. “No.” “But -” “No. I am not starting a war just so you can reap souls. Boredom is not a justifiable excuse.” Duo leaned back in his chair, pouting. “You’re no fun. It’s not like Tro can’t make more humans.” “Not the point.” Trowa appeared a moment later with a large bowl of steaming rice and set it down on the table. He pulled his chair out and sat down. “What’s not the point?” Wufei snorted. “Don’t ask.” “Heero won’t start a war for me, Tro,” Duo whined. “I need something to do!” “Why don’t you find a hobby, or something, like Quat?” Duo sulked and crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m not going to start cooking.” “You don’t have to cook. Find something else.” “I want to reap souls! It’s what I was made for. Tro, you’re the God of Life. You can just make more people, can’t you?” Trowa spooned some rice onto his plate, shaking his head. “People aren’t toy soldiers, Duo. They are individuals. They each have their own unique minds and abilities. They’re not replaceable. I can’t make the same person twice. That’s not how it works.” “And I will not start a war just because you’re bored. War is reserved for serious matters.” Duo snorted. “Oh yeah right. Like the time that one guy invaded a kingdom because the dude from the other kingdom shacked up with his woman. Yeah, real noble there, chief.” A muscle in Heero’s jaw twitched. “I didn’t say noble. I said serious.” “Riiiiight. Like there aren’t enough chicks in the world. Why didn’t he just tell them both to screw off and find himself another woman?” Heero shook his head and took a sip of his wine. “Love is Quatre’s department.” “You’re talking about me?” The blond God of Love stepped into the room, a silver platter topped with a giant multi-layered cake in his hands. “What did I do this time?” “Hey, Quat, why do people attack each other when they love someone?” Quatre set the cake down and brushed his hands together. “Love is not rational, Duo.” “Why not?” “Because it’s a strong human emotion. The strongest one there is. It makes people do irrational things.” “I would think hate, or pride is the strongest emotion,” said Wufei. The blond God shrugged his shoulders and reached for some fruit. “Pride is a strong emotion, but there’s a thin line between love and hate.” “Why do you have to be so lyrical?” Quatre smiled as he raised his chalice to his lips. “Because I’m the God of Love. The God of Poetry, Music, Sonnets, Romance -” Duo held up a hand. “Yeah, okay we get it.” He picked up his wine. “Love is nice and all, but Death is where it’s at.” Wufei toyed with his fork, a sour expression on his face. “I don’t know why I got stuck with steel.” Quatre cocked his head. “What do you mean?” “I mean, you guys get to be the Gods of cool stuff like Life and Love and War and Death,” he pointed to each one in turn. “What did I get? Metal.” “Metal is an important element, Wufei,” said Trowa. “Why couldn’t I be the Sun God, or something?” Heero eyed him sharply. “Because Zechs got that and he’s older than you.” Wufei grumbled, but didn’t argue further. The Gods enjoyed their meal in relative silence until dessert. “So, Heero. About that war…”
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