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"Right Here Waiting"Written By: Honor Disclaimer: Honor: Mine, mine, mine! Shigeki:
No they aren’t. Honor: Shut up, muse. Rating: PG-13 Warnings: TWT, violence, language, shonen-ai,
and my warped sense of humor. Oh, and switching POV’s. Sometimes. Pairings: 3x2…your guess is as good as mine
on the rest of ‘em. Summary: Duo and Heero are together but it isn't working out. When Heero breaks up with the American, Duo has a hard time coming to terms with it. *emphasized* //phone or com//
" Right Here Waiting "
To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without
expecting anything in return. To just give. That takes courage, because
we don't want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt.
“I noticed. Just hang on for five more minutes. I have an apartment set up for us, but we have to get the key before we can go up.” “Kay.” I let my head hang a little as he weaved me through the doors. Honestly, I wasn’t paying a whole lot of attention until I heard the guy at the front desk make a comment about me. “Yes.” Trowa answered calmly. “I told him that the guy was too big, but he didn’t listen.” Ahhhh. Supposedly I had gotten into a fight. Average cover story. I could go along with this. “I coulda taken him.” I muttered, making my voice cross. “After only two beers, perhaps.” Trowa allowed. There was a hint of humor in his voice. “Not after twelve.” I shot him a glare. Who does he think he’s kidding? If I had downed more than *three* beers, I would have been out cold on the floor. “If you don’t mind,” Trowa continued calmly, “I’d like to get him upstairs. He’s beginning to get a little heavy.” “Of course.” The man finally handed Trowa the key and allowed us to escape. I tried to keep my weight on my own feet instead of on Trowa, but I don’t think I did a very good job. My head was splitting, and it was kinda hard to focus. When he nudged our door open, I got the faint impression of simple furnishings, clean rooms, and the normal apartment-ness of every other apartment building. He didn’t set me down until we had reached a back bedroom, then he carefully levered me onto the bed. I sank into it with a grateful moan. “Status?” “Nothing broken or cracked.” I muttered. “Bruises, cuts…maybe a slight concussion. I’m feelin’ woozy and like Heavyarms and ‘scythe did the can-can on me.” “Hn.” He knelt down and rummaged through his dufflebag, pulling out a very large first aid kit. I stayed pretty quiet while he was cleaning me up. Okay, I admit to giving him death threats when he was cleaning out the scrapes, but that was because he was scrubbing so hard. With pure alcohol. It *hurt*. “Nothing is serious.” He told me once he had put his torture devices back into the box. “Do you want to take a shower?” “Yeah.” My skin was telling me that I was wearing the Mojave dessert. Otherwise I wouldn’t have bothered at this point. I staggered upright and into the hall bathroom, Trowa right behind me. I think he was afraid that I would fall or something. I left the door cracked just in case I *did* fall then I stepped underneath some heavenly hot water. + I was listening carefully outside in the hallway, just in case Duo needed help. He had a pretty nasty lump on his head. I didn’t think he was concussed—or seriously concussed, I should say—but he wasn’t very steady on his feet either. After about five minutes I heard a faint “Tro?” I shouldered the door aside and went to him, popping the shower door open to catch him around the waist. He was slumped against the tile, eyes screwed shut and braced with both hands. When I slipped an arm around his waist, he leaned against me willingly, head on my shoulder. It was hard, but I managed not to focus on the fact that Duo was wet, naked, and leaning against me. I grabbed one of those cheap excuses for a towel that seems to come with every apartment and wrapped it quickly around his waist. It helped, but not much. “Sorry.” He whispered. “I’m just really dizzy.” “It’s fine.” I assured him softly. He was clean enough to my mind, and I led him gently back to the bedroom, catching up two more towels as we moved. He fell more than sat on the bed, so I moved next to him, still steadying him against me as I dried him. He didn’t utter a word in protest, and I knew at that point that he was dizzier than he was letting on. Since he was apparently content to let me do the work, I took up another towel and started in on his hair. The towels were sopping wet by the time I called it quits, but his hair was still damp. Hopefully, it would be dry enough to sleep on. A subdued shiver ran through him and without thinking about it I wrapped both arms around his shoulders. God, it felt so good to touch him. I had come so close to losing him completely, a fact that I had carefully not considered while coming to his aid or on the drive here. Those pent up emotions were hitting me hard now. “Sorry, Tro.” A bitter laugh came from his throat. “I seem to be saying that a lot, but I am sorry. I’m high maintenance, I guess.” Turning him by the shoulders I deliberately frowned at him. “You’re not too much trouble. I’ll give you the high maintenance bit…but you’re worth it.” There was this little disagreeing look on his face and he started shaking his head. “Don’t argue with me.” My voice fell to a whisper as my blood, already heated, started to boil. I wanted to prove to both of us that we were very much alive. But I couldn’t. Dammit, he just broke up with Heero. Now was the worst possible time to declare anything to him. Only problem was, my body wasn’t listening. “Whatever it takes, Duo,” my head lowered to his, angling as I approached “you’re worth it.” The first brush of his lips against mine was soft and unbearably tender. But my raging hormones couldn’t hold that mood for long, and on the second pass my mouth was more demanding, more insistent for a response. My tongue darted out, touching his bottom lip lightly. His flickered out to meet it, groaning a little as he pressed closer to me— --his mouth tore free from mine as he flung himself away, breathing hard and face averted. I backed off the bed instantly, hands spread as if in surrender. Dammit! I had known that it was the wrong moment, why did I push it?! My arms were aching from the physical loss, but I didn’t dare approach him again until he trusted me to. Until he *wanted* me to. “I won’t touch you again,” the words were carefully neutral “if you aren’t comfortable with it. But let me bandage you up and help you into bed, alright?” For the longest time Duo was silent, obviously trying to gain control of himself. Then he nodded. Neither of us said anything while I slathered band-aids all over him. I kept my touch carefully detached and turned my back when he pulled on a pair of boxers. I saw him tucked in before going to the other bedroom to sleep. Yuy had some serious explaining to do. + Duo was still fast asleep when I called Heero. I was ready to reach through the ‘phone and strangle him, but controlled the urge. It was hardly practical, after all. Heero took one look at my face and assumed the worst. //Where is he?// “In bed. Asleep.” He only relaxed a fraction. //How badly is he hurt?// “Physically? Negligent wounds.” My voice hardened. “Emotionally, he’s a wreck. What did you do, Yuy?” Heero was visibly confused by this. //I did nothing that would--// “He flinched away from me when I touched him.” I snarled, barely restraining myself from punching Heero through the screen. “Duo *doesn’t* *flinch*.” The usual shuttered expression that Heero wore slammed down over his face. //I see.// “You will fix this, Yuy, or so help me that next time that I see you I’m going to do more than punch you.” With a vicious snap, I ended the call and sat there breathing hard. Five minutes later I had my battle lust under control and went to check on Duo. Since he was groggily awake, I nodded a good morning to him. “I thought I’d get us breakfast and a few groceries.” “Sounds good.” I made sure to stay planted in the doorway as he swung his feet out of bed and sat up. “Do you need any help?” “Naw. I’m loads better.” I had my doubts about that, but nodded. “Fine. I’ll be back soon.” + Watching Trowa leave the apartment was a mixed blessing. I really needed the space to think, so I was glad he’d be gone awhile but at the same time I wanted him around. No particular reason, I just wanted him here. Weird. I shoved the idea aside, went and took a proper shower and climbed into a temporarily borrowed pair of loose pants from Trowa’s bag, a shirt and some socks. It was a little surreal to see anything loose in Trowa’s bag. I mean, he usually goes for tight, but I wasn’t complaining. The vidphone beeped. Out of pure curiosity I answered it. “Heero?!” //Duo.// He nodded to me. I sat down in front of the vidphone, really curious as to why Heero would ‘phone me in the first place. He’s not exactly well-known for his chatting abilities. “Hey, Ro. What’s up?” //Duo…I…// No way, Heero Yuy is unsure of himself? Hold everything, I’ve gotta call the Guinness Book of World Records. He took a deep breath, and forced himself to look me squarely in the eye. //When I first approached you on ending our relationship, I did not explain myself very well. I want to rectify that error now.// Urk. I really REALLY didn’t want to go through that again. “Hey Ro, it’s no biggie. You don’t need to—” //I think I do.// He got this ‘be quiet and listen or else’ look in his eye. I shut up. //There were two reasons that I broke off our dating. One, because I have accepted a long term mission to keep Relena safe. That,// something like a sigh came from Heero //is a full time mission in and of itself. Between that mission and the regular missions that I accomplish, I could not give you the time that you needed from me.// Whoa, wait, back up and hit that play button all over again. He broke up with me because he couldn’t give me enough attention? //The other reason… Duo, I could see the effects that our relationship was having on you. You thought I ended it because you were slowing me down but it was the opposite of that. *I* was slowing *you* down.// For a minute, he didn’t look like the Perfect Soldier, but more like the Heero that I knew. He looked down at his hands, then back up at me with regret written all over his face. //I’m wrong for you, Duo. And I couldn’t force you to wear yourself out trying to make it work.// At this point I was biting back tears. “I sure as hell wish that you had put it that way from the beginning…but thanks. I guess I did need to hear that.” //Good.// Apparently that was all he felt he needed to say, because he went back to ‘normal’. Mostly. //Then you are ready to try again.// My mind screeched to a halt. Heero is a very literal kind of guy. If you tell him something is okay, then he believes you. If you tell him to fix something… “Did Trowa call you?” //Yes.// Steam started coming out of my ears. “When?” //This morning.// Heero frowned to himself. //I was not aware until that moment that I had hurt you.// I couldn’t deal with Heero’s perfectionistic tendencies right at that moment. “What did he say?” //That I had hurt you, and that I would rectify the situation immediately or he would do more than punch me.// Heero’s voice was just so matter-of-fact that I had to restrain myself from beating my head against the wall. Trowa was right. I was afraid of being burned again. But I also just didn’t want to go through all of the trouble that comes with dating. I’m not sure what my face was doing, but it must have done something because Heero’s eyes narrowed. //You *do* understand my reasoning.// “Of course I do!” //Then why are you hesitating about Barton?// “Who says I even want a boyfriend?” I shot back. //Baka. Don’t lie.// Heero leaned closer to the screen, giving me a close up and personal view of his very unhappy expression. //You would never have gone after me if you didn’t want someone.// Grrr. When did Heero get so damn perceptive about people? His eyes flicked to something off screen, then back at me. //I will call back tomorrow morning at the same time.// “This is not a bloody mission, Yuy!” //You are correct. It is more important that that. Yuy, out.// “Of all the—” I couldn’t think of an epitaph strong enough. Cursing steadily under my breath I spun out of the chair, shoving my feet into a pair of sneakers, stuffed my braid into a hat and headed for the door. I had to get out of there and cool my head down before I gave into the urge to beat Trowa until I felt better. It was a very *long* walk. + Roughly three hours later I was a little calmer. I wasn’t a tea kettle ready to go off anymore. More like a hot plate or something. And now that I was calm enough to think things through, I had to admit that I wasn’t really angry with Trowa. I was mad at myself. For the past two weeks I’ve been telling myself—and anyone else that asked—that it was okay about me and Heero. And that was one big fat lie. It wasn’t okay. I understood where Heero was coming from…even agreed with him. But breaking up with him had *hurt* and I didn’t want to put myself on the line again like that. All of this boils down to one thing: I am a hypocritical coward. And my cowardice is hurting Trowa. I’m not oblivious. I know that what I had done had hurt Trowa. I’m beginning only now to see how much. But I don’t know what to do about it, and I was beginning to be afraid that I would hurt him even more unless I found some brilliant way to get him to give up on me. Fat chance, that. By now it was almost two, and I was starving. I stopped by a Panda Palace, grabbed some take-out, then headed back for the apartment. I barely had enough time to eat my Chinese food before Trowa came in. He took a long look at me, saying nothing. I pretended to be oblivious, not meeting his eyes as I gestured toward the cartons. “There’s some stuff for you. Didn’t know what you liked, so I guessed.” “Thanks.” He moved into the kitchen, then came back with a plate which he sat on the table. Without sitting he asked, “Would you feel better if you hit me?” Don’t ask me how he knew that I had talked to Heero. I have no idea. Caller ID? “Naw. Not mad at you, really. I might feel better if I punched myself.” “Hn.” Trowa finally sat down across from me, though he didn’t reach for the food. “You know…that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.” “Sure it does.” Apparently he wasn’t going to do anything until he figured out just where I was coming from. With Heero, I had to volunteer everything. With Trowa, I couldn’t get away with any secrets intact. Can’t I have a middle ground? I looked up, seeing the patient expectation on his face and groaned. “Look, Tro, I’m not an idiot. Usually. You think I didn’t notice how bad I hurt you last night? You’re right, I’m scared of getting burned again. I know it, you know it…and it doesn’t change a damn thing.” Trowa lowered his eyes to the tabletop, not responding. “Look…I know for a fact that both Wufei and Quatre are attracted to you. If you have any sense left, go for ‘em.” It was very hard to say that reasonably, because a part of me hated the idea of him looking at anyone else. Which, in and of itself, was insane. “I don’t want them. I don’t want anyone else.” If you ever feel that Heero has a Death Glare…try Trowa’s. His is hot enough to melt steel and make the Arctic look like a hot spring. “Are you crazy?!” My voice rose a little. “I’m on the rebound! No one wants to deal with someone in that condition! *I* certainly don’t want to deal with me!” “Then I’ll wait.” The glare had faded, leaving him calm and patient again. I was anything but calm or patient. I was almost panicking, my breath coming a little too fast. “What?!” “Run and hide if you need to, Duo.” Those incredible green eyes softened with his voice. “I’ll be here waiting when you feel that you can face everything again.” + Those words were replaying in my head late that night. I was staring at the (very blank) ceiling in my room, hands behind my head and thinking in circles. I wanted desperately to talk to someone, but I knew that it would be impossible to talk to anyone about this. The words wouldn’t make it out of my throat. Usually, when I’m upset like this, I’d go to Quatre and get some good advice, a hug, and maybe snuggle in next to him for the night. We’re both cuddle bunnies, so we both actually sleep better with someone else in the bed than all by our lonesome. Unfortunately, the nearest person to me was the person I was angsting over. It wouldn’t quite work for me to turn to Trowa for comfort and peace of mind since he was the one that started all of this. Ah, screw it. I wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight. Maybe I would try calling Quatre. The blond had a way of getting stuff out of me. Throwing back the covers, I got out of bed and wandered into the kitchen. I felt like getting something to munch on. Maybe it would help get rid of this nervous energy that I had. In the middle of raiding the—barely stocked—fridge, I felt someone come up behind me. “Can’t sleep?” Neither could he, apparently. “Nope.” I gave up on the munchies and shut the door. “I think I’m gonna call Q.” Trowa glanced at the clock on the microwave. “It’s three in the morning, where he is.” Erk. Forgot about that. “On second thought…” “Duo.” I turned to look up at him, swallowing hard when I saw just how serious he was. “I can be just a friend, if you need one.” At that point, I would have hugged a gorilla if there had been one handy. I practically leaped on him, burying my face against his shoulder. Arms came around my back, soothing through the thin cotton shirt I was wearing. Trowa’s scent and warmth washed over me in waves. This was a far cry from the comfort I found hugging Quatre. Being held by Trowa…I felt like I belonged exactly where I was. He was true to his word. He held me like I was a friend, and nothing more. I appreciated that more than words, because I couldn’t handle anything more. It might have been a few hours before I noticed the slight chill of the apartment. It was ridiculous to cling to him like this, so I shifted as if to move away. Trowa tilted my face up, took a long look at me…then inclined his head toward the couch in question. Hell, if he didn’t mind me being clingy, then I wasn’t about to protest. We moved to the couch, an afghan around our bare legs to battle the chill. I was cradled in his lap, still held securely. And as much as I was enjoying this, questions were beginning to tickle the back of my mind. “Trowa?” “Yes.” I couldn’t ask him. I wanted to…god, how I wanted to. But I just couldn’t. I wasn’t ready to hear the answers. I changed the ‘why’ in my mouth to “Thanks.” “Anytime.” Trowa whispered against my hair, the arm around my shoulders squeezing for a moment. “Anytime.” ~*~*~*~ Shigeki: *smugly* I thought you were going to work on
Loose.
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