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"Spookems"Written By: Honor Disclaimers: Not mine. My psychiatrist assures
me that they never were either, although I specifically remember creating
them… Warnings: AU, questionable and evil humor, romance
with slices of angst (which I fix!) Rating: Ah…NC-17 or thereabouts, I think Pairings: 1x4, 5x2, 3+a box of stolen Pocky Author’s Notes: Okay, so I’m sitting
here one day, in the mood for a ghost story, and can only find ones
where one of the boys is a ghost and falls in love with one of the
other boys, at which point one of three things happens. Either a)
after some hot steamy sex the ghost crosses beyond, leaving the other
one to suicide *grr* b) he somehow is given a body or c) they have
to wait until the next reincarnation. C&C appreciated. Flames will be used to defrost
my windshield. Enjoy, peeps! Dedicated to Tricksy. I’m going to miss your
antics, love. //thought// *emphasize* " Spookems"
Chapter Nine: Pitfalls
Heero eyed the digital clock in his truck blankly for some moments before it registered that he was sitting in front of the house. With a shaking hand he pulled the keys out and started to climb out of the truck. Somehow he managed to get both the car door and the house door to open for him without too much fumbling. Then he headed upstairs, hoping that a hot shower would warm him up. It had been a rough night. Jay had called exactly when his last class had ended, demanding several things. That he drop all of his music classes. That he sell the baby grand in the house, and get rid of all the ‘useless paraphernalia that goes with it’. What had hurt him most, however, was the demand that he cut all ties with Quatre. He had walked the streets around the campus in a blind daze for hours, trying to think up alternate solutions. If he didn’t obey his uncle’s wishes, then he would be yanked from school, all of his accounts frozen. He would be forced to live on his own, working for minimum wage. There was little chance that he would be able to afford the musical training that he craved at that point. He would still have Quatre, however. And if he obeyed his Uncle’s wishes…even now he shuddered just thinking about it. No. That wasn’t an option. As disturbing as those demands had been, it had been the events after his fruitless walk that had so terrified him. He had gone into the Arts building, thinking that perhaps spending some time in front of a piano would help him calm down and think rationally. He hadn’t been able to play a note. Heero had memorized hundreds of scores of music, but not one of them would come to mind. Frantically he had tried to think of any song whatsoever, just to hum, but there wasn’t anything there to remember. Shivering again, he stepped into his bedroom, then went straight to the bathroom and turned the shower on. He raised the temperature until it was so hot he could barely stand it and stepped in. //I can’t give up Quatre. I can’t give up music. They’re the same to me, now. I can’t have one without the other. When did that happen?// Heero stepped out of the shower, still shaking, cold tendrils snaking up and down his spine. In a daze he dried himself off roughly before yanking on a pair of sweatpants. His body wasn’t responding to him, seemingly slightly out of synch with his mind. Or maybe it was the other way around. He made it out of the bathroom and into his room before his legs gave out. Slumped against a wall, he curled into himself, still shivering. He was over the idea of thinking this whole thing was a mistake on his part. Obviously not loving Quatre wasn’t really an option. Somehow, the most important part of his soul had become entwined with the Arabian, and tearing it out or shutting it off would be like pushing a self-destruct button. //So what do I do?// Ever since his parents’ death he had taken a step back. It was a habit now, to keep that little bit of extra distance between himself and the world. If he meant to have Quatre, then it was a habit that he would have to break. That was the first step. ‘And if he doesn’t feel the same way?’ A voice in the back of his head sighed, fingering the spot of his self-doubt and fear. ‘If he can’t return what you feel?’ It would still be better than trying to cut himself off from his heart. A broken heart he could deal with. One wrapped up in steel and concrete…was a different matter. Or that’s what his logical side reasoned. The heart that he was so callously examining was flinching at the idea of not having Quatre as a lover and beloved. //No…// “Heero?” There was a light tap on the door, before a blond head appeared around it. “Are you—Heero?!” Heero raised his head numbly as Quatre sprinted to him. The light blue eyes were wide with fear and concern as he visibly searched for some kind of injury to account for Heero’s state. He shook his head numbly and pulled the blond to him. He didn’t need questions—just Quatre. Quatre had no idea what was wrong or how to fix it, but it was obvious to him that whatever was wrong, Heero didn’t want to talk about it. He slid his arms around the shaking body, holding him tightly and rocking slightly from side to side. “I’ve got you.” He murmured softly into the brown hair. “I’ve got you. You’re alright. You will be alright.” //I’ll never be ‘alright’ again.// Heero’s hold tightened convulsively. “Don’t leave.” He demanded hoarsely. “Don’t leave.” “Shh. I’m right here.” Quatre turned so that it was he who was sitting against the wall, Heero sitting on his lap, and cradled against him. He ran his hands over Heero’s shoulders and back in soothing circles. It took nearly a half hour, but Heero’s shaking finally subsided. For the longest time he let his head rest on Quatre’s shoulders, soaking up the feeling of being so carefully held and touched. With an inaudible sigh he let his forehead rest against the side of Quatre’s neck. “You’re freezing.” Quatre whispered. “Let’s get into bed, alright?” He had said ‘let’s get into bed’ not ‘let’s get you into bed’. Good. It meant that he wasn’t planning on going anywhere. Heero nodded in agreement, moving to his feet. Quatre followed him up, only a few inches separating him from Heero all the way to the bed. As soon as Quatre was reasonably settled on the mattress, Heero rolled right next to him and curled himself around the Arabian. Quatre nearly froze in surprise. Heero was NOT a touchy-feely person. The only person who was bold enough to penetrate the usual personal bubble surrounding him was Duo, and even he didn’t stay in that minefield for more than two seconds. Something was seriously wrong. “Heero?” Heero read all of the unspoken questions in that voice and his eyes closed in weariness. This wasn’t something that he felt like talking about. But he owed it to Quatre. “Uncle Jay called tonight.” Quatre stiffened, bracing for the worst. “We argued.” Heero swallowed hard, remembering the bitter words. “Some of what he said…part of it was true. I’ve been lying to myself for so long, especially on this one point…I tried to deny it tonight. I tried to focus on something else. Quatre.” Heero raised his head a little to look down at his friend. “I couldn’t play a single note of music tonight. I couldn’t even think of something to hum. Nothing.” Quatre was probably one of the only people who understood just how important music was to Heero. The inability to connect at all to that world would, in and of itself, account for the violent reaction he had just witnessed. Heero had looked like a druggie that had been denied a fix. In this case, the similarity wasn’t far off. “But it’s more than that.” Quatre blinked. “More? I don’t understand.” “He wanted…he wanted me to break all ties with you.” “WHAT?!” Quatre nearly jerked upright, restrained only because Heero was still lying half on top of him. “*Why?!*” Heero chose his next words very carefully. “You…are important to me. I’m not sure you realize just how much… Quatre, if I lost you like I lost my parents…” Frustrated by his inability to get what he was feeling across, Heero shook his head roughly, a hand tearing through his hair in a jerky motion. “He’s afraid that he’s losing control over me, and that you’re part of the cause. And he’s right, in a way. That’s why I couldn’t do anything tonight. Just imagining not having you here paralyzed me.” Focusing again, he saw with some surprise that Quatre was staring at him fixedly, soaking up every word and nuance of his expression. He was hearing more than what Heero was saying, and the arms still holding him were becoming more possessive with every word. Gathering up his courage Heero managed to whisper, “You’ve become my music.” Quatre was stunned. For a moment his mind flopped around like a landed fish. This was coming from nowhere, and he had no idea how to react or what to say. But it would be damaging to stay quiet after a declaration like that so he tried to form some kind of logical response. “Heero—” The only warning that they had was the rattle of the door handle as it opened. Jay stepped through the doorway, freezing just inside the room as he saw the two entwined on the bed. Rage crossed over his face, turning the skin into a blotchy mixture of purple and white. “What do you think—” Quatre sprang out of the bed, stalking toward his opponent and wishing fervently that he had some kind of weapon. “Leave.” He snarled. “I will not!” “Yes, you will!” Quatre stopped within about eight inches of the older man, almost shaking in his anger. “You have done quite enough damage tonight! LEAVE!” “You’re in no position to make demands.” Jay snapped back. “You can leave under your own willpower,” Quatre stated with deadly softness “or you can be carted out of here in a body bag. Your choice.” Jay took an involuntary step back as he realized that the small supposedly defenseless blond in front of him was deadly serious. He was considered a threat, and Quatre wouldn’t hesitate in removing him if the situation called for it. Straightening, he called upon all of his dignity. “Very well. We’ll continue this discussion tomorrow.” Without a single glance at Heero he turned away and walked out. Quatre slammed the door shut behind him, breathing raggedly, hands clenched so hard they were turning white. Heero came up behind him, wrapping both arms around his torso. Quatre forced himself to relax, head falling back to rest on the shoulder behind him. Once he had his temper back in control, he took one of Heero’s hands and started to lead him back to the bed. “Let’s get some sleep.” They climbed back into the canopy bed. Quatre coaxed him back down until Heero’s head was nestled on his shoulder again. In hardly any time at all Heero was fast asleep. Quatre absently stroked his hand through Heero’s hair, eyes focused on the ceiling above him. He wouldn’t let Jay hurt him like he had done today. It might take some planning before he could block the other man, but he would make sure that this day was never repeated. And he needed to sort out how he felt about Heero. That wasn’t something that he could put off until tomorrow. As soon as Heero woke up, he had to have a response ready for him. //This is going to be a very long night.// + When Heero stirred awake the next morning, his first thought was that Relena must have been a plague again last night. It was the only reason that his sleep numbed brain could produce for why he was sleeping with Quatre. Then as he woke up a bit more, he noticed that they were in HIS bedroom, not Quatre’s. //What?// The events of last night hit him. Oh god. What had he done? In his confusion and panic, what had he said? There was no way that he would ever be able to have Quatre as a lover. The whole idea was insane. Heero frantically tried to recall everything that he said last night and groaned as the words started to replay in his head. Quatre had been in a semi-doze, unable to really sleep since Heero had been having nightmares most of the night. He jerked awake automatically and reached out for him. “Heero?” Then he sat up all the way when he realized that Heero was awake and looking at him. Heero looked at him somewhat helplessly. How did he change things so that they were back to what they were before? “Quatre, what I said last night—” Quatre hushed the words with gentle fingertips against his mouth. “Let’s leave that aside for a moment. Right now, I really need to know what Jay said to upset you so badly.” Heero took the diversion almost gratefully. “Alright. He threatened to freeze my college account if I didn’t drop the two music classes that I have and declare a different minor.” Quatre started using the Chinese curse words that he had picked up from Wufei, then a few French ones that he knew from Trowa. “Odd, that’s how I felt about it.” Heero growled. “And…?” Heero sighed. He had rather hoped that Quatre would have forgotten the other part of what he had said last night. “And he wanted me to break all ties with you. He thinks that my…growing emotional dependence is because of your influence.” When Quatre blinked at him in surprise, Heero allowed himself to smile. “He’s right. Without you…I’d become exactly what he wants. For a few hours, I thought I could live with it. As soon as I have a formal education, I can take care of myself completely, hell, do better than that. I thought that I could put up with him for four years. But I—I can’t. Going without music” //going without you// “isn’t possible.” “It would be a slow form of suicide.” Quatre’s fingers itched to go around Jay’s throat. Now he really wished that he HAD killed the bastard the night before. “By the time you had a degree, you’d be exactly what Jay wanted. A mindless robot.” Quatre blew out a breath. “Is money the only thing that he’s using to control you?” “Yes. It’s the only thing left.” Besides you. But Heero didn’t say that. Besides, Quatre wasn’t really a tool for control, but more of one for manipulation. “Right.” Quatre reached for his wallet on the nightstand, where he had put it last night so that it wasn’t digging into his back. He removed the cards in the left slot and started flipping through them. When he had the one that he wanted, he handed it to Heero without a word. Heero looked down at the card in his hands blankly. What he was seeing simply didn’t make sense. It was his name on the card, true enough, but he didn’t have an account at Shaay Credit Union. “Quatre?” “Roughly three years ago,” Quatre related quietly “you, Duo and I were stuck in your house for three days, remember? We had been snowed in, and the only thing that was working was the electricity and the phone lines.” “That’s right. We had the house to ourselves. Jay was gone on business or something.” Heero recalled slowly. It had been a favorite memory of his. They had done anything that they wanted, with no consequences. And all three had the hangovers to prove it one morning. “And we dared each other to hack into people’s bank accounts. I chose yours.” “And took out two hundred dollars.” Despite himself Heero smirked a little. “We had a lot of fun with that two hundred.” “Yes.” Quatre smiled a little too. “What you don’t know is that later that night, I started to think. I knew that you were breaking all the means that Jay had of controlling you. The one thing that you couldn’t do much about, though, was money. I realized that if there was anything that would stop you from getting free of him that would be it. So I snuck back into your bank account, and took out five thousand.” Heero’s eyes went wide. He remembered now that Jay had been cross for nearly a month, and had kept muttering about ‘damn techno thieves’. “That was you?” Quatre shrugged a little. “I wanted to help. I took the money and invested it, not always in the wisest ways I must admit. But I did well enough to where you’re set for the next few years, easily. There’s a little over three hundred thousand in the account right now, and that’s not including the stock that is in your name.” Heero’s eyes went to the card in his hands without conscious direction. “Three hundred thousand.” He parroted in disbelief. “You’re free of Jay.” Quatre whispered softly. “You can walk away, and never have to look back.” Heero dropped the card on the bed and snatched Quatre, hugging him tightly. “Thank you.” He whispered against the blond’s shoulder. “Thank you.” Quatre held him just as fiercely. “You’re welcome.” After a long moment Heero pulled back, eyes searching Quatre’s face intently. There was something in the other’s manner that suggested that he wasn’t through yet. “What? Is there something else?” “ ‘You’ve become my music.’” Quatre quoted softly. “What did that mean, Heero?” Heero swallowed hard. As upset as he had been last night, the words had spilled forth easily. Now… But he couldn’t back down from this. After what Quatre had done, it would be wrong. Still, the words tried to stick in his throat. Clenching his hands he looked away, finding it easier to say it to the blankets than to Quatre’s expectant face. “You’re precious to me.” More than that. Quatre knew just how integral a part music was to him. He understood what Heero meant now. Lifting Heero’s head he leaned close and brushed a gentle kiss over Heero’s mouth. Heero froze. Never, in a thousand years, had he expected Quatre to kiss him. “Why did you do that?” Quatre’s gaze was steady. “I want you too.” For a split second Heero just sat there as the full import of those words sank in. His hands were shaking slightly as he reached out, cradling Quatre’s neck with both hands and drawing him forward. Quatre obeyed the slight pressure willingly, eyes slipping closed. Heero’s blood was nearly boiling in anticipation. He had wanted to do this for so long, and now… Softly he caressed Quatre’s lips, nibbling a little on the bottom lip. He remained cautious until Quatre fisted both of his hands into Heero’s shirt. Then he couldn’t stay patient and gentle anymore. With a low growl in the back of his throat he pressed him against the bed, taking his mouth roughly. Quatre groaned, parting his lips at the invasion of Heero’s tongue. The taste and scent of the man on top of him was overwhelming to his senses. His mind clicked off, leaving him just sensation. Heero’s mouth tore away, trailing down to Quatre’s neck to nibble and suck on the skin restlessly. Quatre twisted under him, panting and gasping. “Have to touch you—” Heero rasped, his hands already busy removing Quatre’s shirt. “Yes—” The sigh was more plea than assent. The shirt was off in less than a second. Heero forced himself to slow down. He was taking this too far too quickly, which would lead to disaster. His hands stopped at the waistline, not venturing any farther as his mouth continued to explore the chest bared to him. Quatre felt the restraint as Heero’s hands settled on his waist. The touch wasn’t coy or teasing. He pulled himself out of the pleasured daze that Heero had put him in and deliberately rubbed the hardness between Heero’s thighs. Heero bit his lip, shuddering hard. “Quatre, don’t—” “I don’t do things halfway, Heero.” Quatre murmured, his eyes lit with passion and challenge. “I don’t say things without meaning them completely. I want you as my lover, and I’m not going to be patient about it.” A predatory smile came over Heero’s face. “Ryoukai.” With a matching smile Quatre tangled his hands in Heero’s hair and pulled him back down to his mouth. Their tongues dueled for control as Heero fumbled with the drawstring pants for a moment before losing all patience and simply ripping them off. As soon as the bothersome material was out of the way, he ran a possessive hand over the straining cock. Quatre groaned, arching his hips a little. It felt so good, and he wanted more. He only had time to reach for Heero’s hands, trying to guide him without words, when his mind gave him a brief warning that there was something hot, like breath, near the region of his groin before he was swallowed whole. Heero almost smiled when Quatre’s hips arched off the bed. He ignored the sweat beading on his forehead, focusing on what was in his mouth. He probed the tip with his tongue, making Quatre throw his head back and scream. Pressing Quatre’s hips back against the bed, Heero went down on him completely, controlling the reflex gag effortlessly. After a few strokes, Heero noticed that there was almost a constant litany coming out of Quatre’s mouth. “—please, more I can’t stand this, more, Allah’s name—” Heero was thoroughly enjoying the taste and feel of him, but he knew that the blond was close to the edge. With one hand he started fondling the balls beneath the cock and stroked them lightly. That snapped the last of Quatre’s control. With a soundless scream he thrust into Heero’s mouth and climaxed. Heero made sure that his lover was completely drained before pulling away. As the small Arabian lay recovering, Heero stripped off the remainder of both of their clothing before climbing back up onto Quatre’s body. Somewhere, Quatre’s libido found enough energy to be excited about the prospect of some hot and heavy sex. He returned the kiss that Heero was giving him, reaching up so that he could twine one hand in the hair at the base of Heero’s neck. When Heero pulled away Quatre rubbed his returning erection demanding against Heero’s thigh. “I want you in me. NOW.” Heero shook his head, expression strained. “I don’t have anything to make it easier.” Quatre took the hand resting on the left side of his head and brought it to his mouth. Without looking away from Heero’s eyes he sucked and nibbled on the digits in his mouth. Heero’s eyes went to a dark midnight blue and he swallowed hard. “Quatre—” “I’m not taking a rain check for this, Heero.” Heero’s body was in firm agreement with Quatre. His nod was a little dazed as he pulled his fingers away from Quatre’s mouth and toward his parted legs. He watched Quatre’s face anxiously, ready to pull away at the first sign of pain or discomfort. There wasn’t any, just pleasure and anticipation. Quatre had never been one to be patient while being prepped. As good as it felt, he knew that there was something that felt even better. “Heero. I’m ready.” “Not yet.” Heero’s voice was husky with need. Quatre reached down and slid his hand teasingly up and down Heero’s straining erection. Heero shuddered and groaned, his head dropping briefly to rest on Quatre’s shoulder. He had wanted to do this for over a year, ever since he had realized just what he was feeling towards his best friend. There was little patience in him left. Removing his fingers he shifted to kneel between Quatre’s spread legs and pushed carefully inside. Quatre wrapped both legs around his waist, gripping Heero’s shoulders tightly as his body accepted the persistent invasion. Heero pressed a tender kiss against his neck once he was fully seated inside. When Quatre was completely relaxed under him, he rocked back, and then pushed in again with deliberate slowness. Quatre’s eyes slid shut as he matched the movement. His fingers dug into Heero’s back as they moved together. Neither of them could hold to the easy pace, and within a few thrusts Heero was pistoning into the body under his. He tried to focus on Quatre’s face, wanting his partner to hit his release before he did, but the edges of his vision were darkening steadily. At this pace, he wouldn’t last. Shifting his balance onto one hand, he placed the other against Quatre’s glistening erection and began to pump it at a matching pace. It was a double assault, and Quatre was already close to the edge. Crying out hoarsely he felt his orgasm jerk out of him roughly. He tightened around Heero as he climaxed, sending the other man over the edge. Heero shuddered hard under the pleasure coursing through his system, collapsing limply over his lover. Quatre blinked as his mind started working again, taking in everything. Heero was draped across him, breath still a little erratic. He himself was in a nice mellow state where his body was purring at him happily. With extreme effort he wrapped one arm around Heero’s waist and nuzzled against cheek. “Mmm.” Quatre smirked. Heero really wasn’t all there yet. It was nice to know that he could undo Heero’s usually exquisite control. He rolled them both onto their sides before reaching down and drawing a sheet over them. As he settled back down against Heero’s chest, he realized that a pair of dark blue eyes were watching him silently. Quatre smiled at the silent question in those eyes and smoothed Heero’s hair out of his face. “I wish that you would have told me how you felt before this. Actually…” Quatre frowned in thought. “How long have you wanted me?” “A little over a year.” For a moment Quatre simply stopped breathing. “What?” Shaking his head roughly to clear it he stared at him in growing confusion. “A *year*? Why didn’t you say something earlier?!” “Quatre, I couldn’t.” Heero sat up and laid a tentative hand on the blonde’s shoulders. He was never quite sure how to handle Quatre when he was upset. “I had no idea how you would take the idea. It was better to have you as a friend than not at all.” “A year.” Quatre repeated softly, looking away. “How could I have not seen this?” “I was doing my best to make sure it wasn’t noticed.” Heero pointed out laconically. Now that everything had turned out like this, he found himself unable to be upset at the hesitation that had held him back for so long. He had Quatre *now* and that was all that really mattered to him. “I can’t shrug this off so lightly, Heero. To love, without being loved in return, hurts.” “But you did love me.” Heero retorted gently, willing Quatre to turn and meet his eyes. “You might not have been *in* love with me, but you loved me just the same.” Quatre gave up. Heero wasn’t going to let him feel badly about this, and truthfully he couldn’t slide into the doldrums that he felt were his due. He was just too happy to finally find himself in love. Tossing the sheet back he straddled Heero’s legs and kissed him thoroughly. They were too wrapped up in each other to notice Relena’s sudden presence. Their lapse was quickly rectified when she started screeching like a banshee. The door burst open with Duo, Wufei and Trowa stumbling over each other in their haste to see what the screaming was about. Heero snatched the sheet up to cover them, looking up to see Quatre blushing furiously. And glaring at Relena with murder in his eyes. ::You…you slut! You conniving little bastard!:: Relena’s eyes were glowing with an unholy and insane light. ::GET OFF OF HIM!:: Heero locked both arms around Quatre’s waist to insure that he didn’t move. “Get out of here Relena!” The trio in the door had been gaping at the spectacle in front of them during the exchange between mortals and ghost. Duo was the first to find his tongue. “Hey, ‘Fei, you might want to write that Chinese dude a note. That particular spell thingy only works for *8 hours* not twelve.” Heero frowned at him. “What is that supposed to mean?” “The reason why you weren’t ah, disturbed before this” Wufei explained with a carefully neutral voice so that he wouldn’t burst out laughing “is that I’ve been experimenting with various spells and incantations that I’ve been researching. The one I used last night was supposed to lock Relena out of the house completely for twelve hours.” “Oh.” Trowa murmured thoughtfully as he bent to pick up a curious Trousers. “I was wondering why it was so quiet.” ::STOP IGNORING ME!!:: Heero really wished that Relena was real at this point, just so he could slap some sense into her. “Stop it, Relena. You knew that I love him. Your pursuit of me was pointless and doomed to fail.” Relena knew that fighting with Heero was futile. She switched targets. ::Get off of him, Winner.:: Quatre’s glare went up a notch. “He’s mine. I’m not giving him to you.” Relena’s lips pulled back into a snarl. Energy shimmered around her in a vortex that was picking up speed. Wufei had anticipated how she would react and had already started to whisper the incantation quietly under his breath. When she drew one hand back, as if to punch the small blond, his voice rose on the last word. “—lan shan!” With only the slight whoosh of displaced air, she was gone. Heero relaxed slightly. “Thank you, Wufei.” “I have no wish to have my hearing damaged by her tantrums.” He replied calmly. “Now that that is settled…” He turned and grabbed Duo by one elbow and Trowa by the other, pulling them back out of the room. Duo resisted long enough to grin at the two on the bed. “You’ve got to tell me how this all happened later, kay?” “Go away Duo.” Heero leveled a glare in his direction. “Sure thing, Hee-chan! Ow! Dammit, ‘Fei, let go of my braid!” The door shut with an audible click, leaving the lovers alone for some much needed privacy.
Footnote: Lan Shan means ‘barrier’. Just FYI. ? ~ * ~ |
