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"All Through The Night "Written By: Honor Disclaimer: They aren’t mine. The boys are
actually quite grateful for this. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: Shonen-ai, language, wacky humor, emotional
angst, romance, yaoi, and I’m acting like the war lasts two years
and Eternal Waltz didn’t happen Spoilers: Er…yeah, maybe. It would help if
you watch the series first. Pairings: 2x5, 3x4 established Summary: Sequel to Persistence ~dream/ thought~ /thought/ *emphasized* " All Through The Night " Chapter Four
Heero barely paused in his rapid typing. “Nothing is wrong.” “Bullshit. You’ve been cranky and irritable for a month, man. I thought it was stress or something, and left you some space to work through it, but you aren’t. So spit it out, already.” Heero’s hands clenched over the keyboard. “It doesn’t concern you.” “Look me in the eye and say that,” Duo demanded, coming around the desk and leaning over it so that his head was level with Heero’s. “We’re friends, Heero. Even if it was just your problem, the least you can do is tell me what’s wrong and let me help you fix it! That way I don’t have to deal with your absolutely rotten attitude.” It was the last straw. Heero slammed both palms against the desk top. “Fine. You want to know why? I’m angry with you.” “That’s more like it,” Duo purred dangerously. “Why?” “What do you mean ‘why’?! You almost attach yourself at the hip with me for *months* and once I’m open with you and friendly, you act like I’m some kind of mission that you’ve completed and almost drop me completely!” Duo’s mouth dropped. “Dammit to hell…Wufei was right!” Heero growled at the name, eyes narrowing into slits. “I don’t believe this! Look, Heero, that is not how this panned out!” “Really. Then explain it to me!” “It’s simple, man. Yeah, I worked to get you out of your shell. I didn’t want to see you alone. But I saw that just focusing on you had a major side effect—Wufei was left in the same situation you were, without any help out. I couldn’t just abandon one friend for another! I had to help him out, too. I didn’t just drop you, Heero! I just couldn’t spend as much time with you. Give me a break, I’m only human, and there’s only one of me!” “Wufei, Wufei, Wufei!” Heero snarled. He leaned over the desk, forcing Duo against the wall and pinning him there. “Don’t play innocent with me, Duo! You didn’t just decide Wufei needed help and started working on him.” Duo closed his eyes, head hanging. “Heero, I am so lost right now. What are you talking about?” “You want him.” Time itself seemed to freeze. Duo raised wide eyes to Heero’s face, mouth working soundlessly for a moment. “…you’re jealous?” “What did it take, Duo? A week to lose interest once I started to respond to you? It seemed like that!” Great God in heaven! He *was* jealous! /I need to listen to Wufei more often. He certainly nailed it this time./ “Whoa, back up! Look, Heero, I started devoting more time to Wufei just because he needed it! Maybe you didn’t notice, but for about a week there the guy wasn’t getting any sleep at all because his nightmares were too intense. Quatre couldn’t help him, although he tried. I figured it was up to me.” “And it worked,” Heero replied with quiet bitterness. “So what’s your excuse now?” “…pardon?” “You started hanging around Wufei nearly two months ago, Duo. I knew what you were doing—it was obvious enough. It’s why I didn’t interfere. But I expected you to slow down and start spending time with me again once he was okay. You didn’t. So what’s your rational now?” There was some part of all this that Duo just wasn’t getting, some vital piece he was missing. “Heero, I *always* spent time with you!” “But you don’t look at me the same!” /…shit. Wufei even had *this* part pegged! What, is he a mind reader or something?/ Taking in a deep breath, Duo made himself calm down. He now had a handle on where things had gone so wrong. And he couldn’t entirely put the blame on Heero’s shoulders. “Heero. That isn’t Wufei’s doing.” “Then why.” “…I don’t know.” Heero snorted, turning away. “Heero—look, I’m sorry, but I don’t know why! At first, I wanted you as a friend and then somehow hormones got involved in the process, and I wanted you in bed as well. But you weren’t comfortable with that. So…I stopped trying. And somehow, the magic of it all just…faded.” “Just like that. You’re fickle, Maxwell.” Heero hadn’t called him by his last name in months. Duo flinched. “What do you expect me to do?! You didn’t return my interest, remember?” “You didn’t give me a chance before you ran to Wufei.” “Stop it. Wufei’s my friend.” Heero spun around to glare at him, fists unclenching and clenching at his sides. “Now who’s saying bullshit? You never touched me like you touch him.” “Duh! He doesn’t have the same reflexes you do, Heero, in case you haven’t noticed!” Duo felt a pounding headache coming on. “It’s safe to touch him without worrying about a black eye in return.” It was perhaps not the wisest thing to say in that moment, but it was the honest truth and they both knew it. Duo reached out, trying to just regain some part of the connection he and Heero shared. Heero jerked free. “Get out of here.” “Heero, that isn’t going to solve anything—” “I said GET OUT!” “WHY?!” Duo yelled back. “I’m not trying to hurt you Heero, but you seemed determined to think otherwise! My relationship with Wufei is different from yours, okay, but it doesn’t change the one we have! That’s true with any friendship!” “Does ours mean more?” Duo gaped at him. “What kind of a question is that?” “Answer me!” Heero’s eyes were cold, and it was only the slight crack in his voice that gave Duo any hint of the emotional turmoil going on in Heero’s head. “…I can’t. I can’t weigh his worth against yours. That isn’t how love works.” That isn’t the answer Heero wanted, of course. Without a word he pulled the door open and stalked out. Duo blew out a breath, fighting back the urge to cry in frustration. He hadn’t done anything really wrong, and yet…why was this happening?! When he heard the front door slam closed, he went back downstairs. Wufei was standing at the front bay window, watching as Heero walked away. He’d pulled a jacket on before leaving, but had left his laptop upstairs. Wufei wasn’t worried about him disappearing completely. Even if the world came to an end, Heero would make sure to take that bloody laptop with him. He turned when he heard soft footsteps on the stairs. One look at Duo’s face gave him a fair indication that things hadn’t gone smoothly, not that he had needed it. Their voices had been quite audible even downstairs. “Negotiations went badly, I take it.” “Yeah, you can say that again.” “Negotiations went—” “Wu*fei*!” Duo shot him an exasperated look, feeling his mouth twitch into a smile despite his somber mood. “And people accuse me of being the jokester!” “My humor is more highly developed,” Wufei answered loftily. He waited until Duo was within range, then pulled him in for a hug. Duo sank in with a grateful sigh, burrowing his face in between Wufei’s neck and shoulder. “How did I screw this up so badly?” he muttered in despair against Wufei’s shirt. “It takes at least two people to screw things up this badly,” Wufei returned seriously. /In this case, it wasn’t two people but three./ One hand stroked up and down Duo’s spine absently, moving in comforting circles. Duo just settled even more comfortably, soaking up the physical touch like a cat would soak in sunlight. “Not all of this is your doing, Duo. In fact…I’m not sure if you can really be blamed for this at all.” “Who’s fault is it then?” “Heero’s.” After a beat Wufei admitted softly, “And mine.” Duo jerked up, stiffening. “Yours?!” “I had a very good idea what the effect would be, Duo, if I accepted the hand of comfort and friendship you offered me. I selfishly took it, regardless of the consequences. You’re paying for it now.” It shamed him to admit such a thing, but it was the truth. “Whoa, wait, that is seriously jacked up ‘Fei. One, I shouldn’t have to choose between being friends with you or Heero. If Heero had faith in me at all then he wouldn’t be doubting me just because I brought another friend into the mix.” Duo found the whole concept alien that love shared was love lost. “As for that other little comment of yours…there was no way I was going to leave you alone. You were so eaten with guilt that it was a wonder *you* hadn’t hit the self-destruct button! I couldn’t have turned my back on you, and I wouldn’t have let you walk away either.”
+ Normally, Wufei would never have considered going outside, in three feet of snow (actually, it was probably more than that by now because it had been snowing since early morning) on a mile long hike to the abandoned airport hangar where their Gundams were stored. Of course, the current situation was far outside of ‘normal’. Heero wasn’t working on Wing as Wufei had expected…he was just standing in the center of the hangar. Oddly enough, he was facing Deathscythe. Wufei paused just inside the smaller side door, watching him. He’d heard snatches of the argument between Duo and Heero—they’d been loud enough at times to be clearly heard downstairs. It gave him a fuzzy idea of the problem, but no clear idea on what to say now. “I thought it would be you.” Wufei quirked a brow. “What?” “I thought it would be you to come after me. Quatre is talking to Duo, right? And Trowa is sitting just behind him, offering comfort if needed.” Wufei shook his head. “We are predictable, aren’t we? Yes. But they didn’t send me, Heero.” That made him turn, finally, and look at Wufei. “So you volunteered?” “After a fashion. I knew it was finally time that we talked. Heero…I’m no threat to you.” For once, Heero didn’t try to look indifferent. There was the faintest frown crinkling his forehead. “That’s a very odd statement, Wufei.” “No it isn’t,” Wufei replied with somber intensity. “And we both know why. I’m his friend, Heero. That’s all. He’s angry with you, and hurt that you don’t trust him, but you haven’t blown it completely. I think, with work—” a lot of work “—and time, you two could get past this and back to the point you were at.” “…no. We’re past that point. I…” Heero exhaled in something that could have been a sigh. “I asked him something I shouldn’t have. And his answer made me think. I’d forgotten, somehow, that you are my friend as well. I can only imagine how my behavior has affected you.” “I knew who you were angry with,” Wufei responded quietly. “It was only how you treated Duo that bothered me.” “I wasn’t angry with you,” Heero whispered. “I was angry with me. I just took it out on you—and Duo. Wufei.” His eyes held a silent plea that only Duo had seen before. “What is love?” “I can’t answer,” Wufei returned. He was deeply troubled by the question. It told him something about Heero that made him question all over again his words and actions over the last two months. “I’ve never been loved, Heero. It wasn’t until I met the four of you that I had some glimmer of what it meant. I think…I think in part, it means acceptance in spite of flaws or angry words. That’s what I’ve been shown, at least.” His behavior in the beginning was reprehensible, full of cutting words and glares. Quatre and Duo had never faltered in showing him kindness, however. Trowa hadn’t either, although he was quick to give him a glare if he’d said something sharp to Quatre. “…we’re alike then. I never knew it either. Maybe that’s the problem.” He turned away, looking up at Deathscythe again. Wufei was beginning to piece together the entire puzzle
now. Heero hadn’t been jealous…he’d been scared. With
so little experience with love and relationships, when Duo’s
attention had abruptly shifted to someone else, Heero had been afraid
that “Wufei…why are you here?” Snapped out of his peregrinations, he blinked. “What?” “After the way I’ve treated you the past month…why are you even bothering with me?” “I have very few friends in this universe, Heero. I’m not going to lose one because of a temporary bout of insanity.” He managed to say this quite dryly, as if that were the only reason. Heero seemed to slump a little. “You’re a better man than I am. I don’t think I would do the same, if our roles were reversed.” “You would. You’d just talk with your fists, that’s all.” Heero turned a half-hearted glare on him. “I do know how to communicate, Chang.” “Really? Prove it by actually talking to Duo.” “…fine.” + Duo couldn’t help the warm feeling he had, sitting on the couch with Quatre and Trowa next to him. It was so predictable that when someone was upset, Quatre would just be *there* and try to fix it, Trowa behind him offering silent support if it was needed. “I just hope they’re not fighting with each other out there,” Quatre muttered with an anxious look toward the hangar. He couldn’t see it of course, but it was in that direction. Duo blinked. “Ah…you know, I didn’t think of that. Although Wuffers didn’t look mad when he went after Heero.” “Just thoughtful,” Trowa agreed. “To get back on topic—so this whole thing is a huge misunderstanding?” “Basically,” Duo sighed. “I wish I knew how Wufei did it. He just looked at Heero and told me exactly what was wrong. I’m Heero’s best friend, and I had *no idea* what was wrong! Maybe he’s telepathic or something.” Quatre frowned slightly. Speaking of Wufei, he hadn’t gotten a good emotional reading from him in over a month, despite how open he was becoming. It was weird. “I doubt he’s telepathic—” “Here they are,” Trowa announced quietly. Duo stood as Heero and Wufei came through the door. Heero didn’t meet anyone’s eyes as he dropped his jacket on the coat rack and toed off his shoes. When he finally did look up, Duo was only a foot away from him looking at him with anxious eyes. Heero couldn’t force an apology past his throat. With every expectation of being slapped down, he tentatively reached out. Duo’s eyes brightened as he recognized the gesture. Now *this* was something he did understand! He threw himself at Heero, wrapping both arms firmly around his shoulders. Letting out a breath of relief, Heero returned the firm hug, burying his face into Duo’s shoulder. It was as close as he could get to an apology. When they finally released each other, the living room was empty. Duo smiled crookedly. “I guess they’re giving us some space to talk or something. Heero…” “Nanda?” “Why—why did it bother you so bad? The first month or so that I was really working on Wufei opening up you seemed ok with it. What made everything change?” Heero looked away, still ashamed by his behavior. “He can play with you.” “…what?” “He knows how to play with you.” Duo shook his head, trying to get his brain back in gear. “Whoa, waitaminute, that still doesn’t make sense. I mess around with you too.” “Yes, but…you both have very quick wits. I can’t snap out comebacks like you can. And I saw how much you enjoyed doing it.” “…so you felt inferior,” Duo whispered as everything clicked into place. “Heero, you can’t be everything. If you tried to be everything to me, then you’d be acting like Relena. That’s what she’s trying to do.” Heero felt horrified at the very thought. Act like Relena? Oh *hell* no! “Point made.” “See? Bad idea. If it helps any, I usually can’t get Wu to wrestle around with me. Not unless I just dumped snow down his back or something.” Heero slowly relaxed as he realized Duo was right. For some reason, it balanced out the scales in his mind. Okay, one part solved. It was time to address the other issue. “Duo.” Duo arched an eyebrow. “What?” “…you were right.” Duo bit back the urge to say ‘I usually am’. “About what?” “We’d make lousy boyfriends.” A startled laugh erupted from Duo’s mouth. “Okay, where did *that* come from?” “It’s something Wufei said. And something you said. It made me think. I don’t want to be your boyfriend, Duo. I can barely handle you as your friend.” “Are you suggesting I’m high maintenance?” Duo demanded indignantly. Secretly he was delighted—whew. One less thing to worry about. “No, I’m saying you *are* high maintenance.” Duo stuck his tongue out. Heero snorted, but left it at that. They were comfortable with each other again—and that was enough.
Quatre, of course, couldn’t leave things completely alone. He was insanely curious as to what Wufei said to Heero—and vice versa. When Wufei silently motioned them out of the living room, he obeyed readily but did not let the Chinese teen escape to his room. Wufei acknowledged the firm grip on his elbow with a sigh. He should have known that Quatre just wouldn’t let things go at that. Blowing up bases, shooting down mobile suits, facing off enemies—he could do that. Evade Quatre? Never. He gave Trowa a pleading look. ‘Help!’ Trowa shrugged. ‘Can’t. I’ll never hear the end of it if I tried to stop him now.’ Wufei glared. ‘Thanks a lot, Barton.’ The silent exchange did not escape Quatre’s attention.
“Will you two stop that? It’s bad enough Heero doe it, I
don’t need you two doing it as well.” Quatre only let go
of Wufei once they were in the study/mission room and the door mostly
shut behind Wufei eyed him warily. “I don’t suppose it would be enough to say the problem is solved?” Quatre simply stared at him. “…didn’t think so. As far as I can determine, Heero felt slightly threatened when Duo cultivated my friendship. He didn’t know how to handle it, so things went…badly.” Quatre waved this away. “That part I could guess. What did you say to fix it?” “Why?” “What do you mean ‘why’? After a month of being depressed and impossible to live with, you go out to talk to Heero, and within a half an hour you come back and everything is fine again. I want to know what you said, dammit!” Oops. He hadn’t really viewed it like that. “If you must know, it wasn’t anything I said, but what Duo said while they were arguing. I was little more than a sounding board while Heero worked through the problem.” “So what did Duo say?” Wufei bit back his exasperation. “I don’t know. Heero didn’t tell me.” Quatre rubbed at his eyes. “Let me get this straight. You expect me to believe that you just stood there and let Heero gabber at you?” Okay, so that didn’t exactly sound believable either. “Well, no. Quatre…you must understand that neither Heero or I have any real experience when it comes to caring for other people. The only thing that I really did was assure him that I wasn’t a threat to the friendship he had with Duo. That was the only real thing he was worried about.” He didn’t like the sound of that at all. Quatre frowned slightly. “And if he hadn’t believed you?” “I would have stepped aside,” Wufei answered simply. “And gone back to the Wufei we used to know?”
Quatre shook his head violently. “No. You are not allowed to “I didn’t say that, Quatre.” “I’ve seen what you’re like without Duo in your life,” Quatre snapped back. “It isn’t an option. Am I quite clear on this?” Wufei growled. “Quatre—” Trowa gently hushed his lover. “Wufei, let me explain our position in this. We cannot allow one friend to suffer for the sake of another. That is part of what ‘caring’ means.” Wufei’s mouth slowly closed. “Hm. Understood. Fine, I won’t consider the idea again. In retrospect, I’m not sure if it would have done any good anyway. Duo probably wouldn’t have allowed it.” “Change the ‘probably’ for ‘definitely’,” Trowa told him with a roll of the eyes, “and you’d be right.” Wufei grimaced slightly in agreement. “You’re right Think it’s safe to go back to the living room yet?” Quatre’s eyes went a little unfocussed as he checked the other two with his sense, then he blinked and smiled. “Yes.” Trowa opened the door slightly, and Duo’s voice immediately rushed from the front of the house down the hall. “—Heero, I’m not that bad at cooking!” “You can heat things up,” was the dry response. “You can’t cook. There’s a difference.” “Like you have room to talk! You’re not exactly a gourmet chef yourself. All you really eat is microwavable dinners and field rations.” Quatre shared a smile with Trowa and Wufei. “I think they’re back to normal.” “That’s a fairly safe bet,” Trowa agreed, mouth twitching suspiciously. ~*~*~*~*~*~
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