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"Cause and Effect"Written By: Honor Disclaimers: I own Gundam Wing. I also own Australia,
the San Francisco Zoo and the Chattanooga Choo-Choo Pairings: 2x4 Rating: NC-15…probably Spoilers: Nada Warnings: Probably TWT, romance, yaoi, language,
some violence, some angst, lime Betas: Velvet and Caitilin Author’s Insane Ramblings: This is Velvet’s fault. And Caitilin’s
too, come to think of it. Caitilin got me in the mood for 2x4 with
a comment she made, and Velvet sent me a fic that got the wheels turning.
Besides, Caitilin keeps feeding the stupid plot bunny! With carrots,
no less! *beams proudly* Now that the blame is sufficiently cast,
I can go about my business. " Cause and Effect" Love is sometimes denied, sometimes lost, Battle lust. Sounds like an oxymoron, doesn’t it? At least at first glance. It doesn’t become real until the first time you face an enemy—and walk away alive. It’s especially strong if you walk away with barely a scratch because then you have this heady feeling of being invincible. And when you’re sixteen, and male, with all of the hormones associated with a male teenage body it is a very achingly persistent fact of life. We all have different ways of dealing with it. Trowa usually does gymnastics. Heero and Wufei are usually sparring against each other. I tend to go for a very long swim if a pool is handy, and if one isn’t, then I join Trowa doing gymnastics. Duo is by the far the more interesting out of all of us. The first time we shared a safe house after a mission he went into the living room, put in a cd, and started dancing. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I gaped for a full minute before Trowa managed to yank me away. Part of it was lust—I swear Duo is double-jointed in order to *move* like that—and part of it was because I really wanted to join him. His way of working off the adrenaline looked like a lot of fun to me. Two things stopped me and has kept stopping me for three months. One, I have no idea how to dance like he does. Social dancing, sure, no problem. I’ve been taught how to do that since I could walk, even before I could walk maybe. But gyrate in such a sexy way? Uh-uh, no way. The second problem is… complicated. I’ve had the biggest crush on Duo since I first met him, and fighting to hide it. I had no idea what to do about it either. Duo treated me like a really good friend, hell he even tried to match me up with Trowa (and was very amused and insulted when Trowa figured it out and started laughing) but I don’t think he ever looked at me and thought ‘hot bod, gimme gimme’. In three months, the crush had slowly matured into the stirrings of love and I knew that I had to do something. Either I had to confront him somehow and forcefully show myself that Duo could never look at me as something more than a friend, or I had to cut myself off from his company completely until I could forget him. Have you ever tried to forget Duo? No? Little hint, then. It’s Not Possible. So I was down to option one. As we went into the safehouse after our mission was completed, everyone scattered in their usual patterns. Duo to the living room, music starting up almost immediately (actually, it sounded like the Initial D soundtrack), Trowa to the gym at the back of the house, and Heero and Wufei outside to the back yard to spar or whatever. I didn’t join Trowa. And even though we had a pool, I didn’t go swimming. Instead I followed Duo into the living room and stood a little uncertainly near the door. Duo half turned, hips swaying, head moving to the beat. He caught sight of me and flashed me a grin. “Hey Q.” “Hey. Um…” Duo, being Duo, didn’t hesitate in grabbing me and yanking me further into the room. “Dance with me.” “Loved to,” I confessed honestly. “Have no idea how.” “Uh? How can you turn the ripe old age of sixteen and not know how to jive with the music?” Shaking his head, he grabbed both of my hips with his hands. I yelped. “Duo, what are you doing?!” “Relax, it’s easiest to teach you this way. Just move your hips with mine, mirror me for a while.” Easier or not, it didn’t change the fact that I could tell quite clearly he was hard beneath his jodhpurs. Battle lust, yeah, but…you try concentrating when the guy you like is hard and plastered against you! Swallowing, I matched his movements and let the music take over. Not hard to do, considering it was cranked up until it was a living beat in my chest. Duo was hot skin, hard muscles, long fingers splayed over my ass. I felt my eyes grow heavy as we moved against each other. It felt like I was throbbing to the beat of the music, and it was really turning me on. I was completely surprised when he tangled his fingers with mine and spun me, then tugged me back in against him. Still, I managed to keep the beat and stayed in sync with him. I rest my hands against my thighs then moved to curl a hand around his thigh. I could feel his breath against my ear, then my neck and closed my eyes. For once I let my control go and just enjoyed having him pressed against me, rubbing and causing heated friction skittering along my nerves. I was turned again, and this time I leaned into him, hands splayed over his chest. Noses brushed against each other, breath mingled, the very air around us became scorching. All I could see was his eyes—half lidded, predatory, and fixed on me. A brush of lips on lips—hands shifted to get a better purchase, bring bodies into firmer contact, then mouths touched again and locked with gentle hunger. Something with a tangy flavor probed at my bottom lip and I parted my lips, curious as to the full taste. Mmm… “Quatre? Where in hell did he get off to—” Trowa’s voice was like a bucket of cold snow. I jerked away from Duo, nearly falling against the chair behind me. He looked as stunned as I felt, and confused. Oh hell, oh *shit*, what did I just do?! He’s my best friend, not…great god in heaven, what did I just do!! Trowa cleared his throat from the doorway, green eyes taking in everything and missing nothing. “Quatre?” I couldn’t begin to explain the situation, even to myself. My nerve broke under their stares and I bolted, nearly ramming into Trowa as I sprinted out of the room and took the stairs three at a time. “*Quatre*!” Duo’s footsteps and calls spurred me to run even faster. I hit my bedroom door at mach ten, spun and bolted it behind me. Not a moment too soon either, because Duo’s hand slapped against it a second later. “Quatre Raberba Winner, you open this door!” I winced at the angry yell, still gulping in air. “I’m sorry Duo—” “Don’t give me that shit!” he snarled back. “I don’t want a ‘sorry’ I want to know what the hell you’re so scared about. Now open the fucking door!” I couldn’t. Call me coward, but I couldn’t. I needed a few hours at least to figure out what to say, how to say it, and get my composure back so that I could smooth all of this over. Please, Duo, just give up and go away. *BAM* The door shook in its frame, but held against the furious onslaught. “Quatre! *Open* *This* *Door*!” “No…” I choked. “MAXWELL!” An irate Wufei bellowed. “Stop that! You’re making enough noise to wake up the dead! What the hell are you doing?” “Wufei, break this down!” There was a digestive silence, and suddenly I wished the door was transparent so I could see what was going on. “Why?” Wufei asked quietly. Not a calm quiet—more like the quiet before a storm. Say, a hurricane. A Level 10 hurricane. “I need to get in there.” “What did you do, Maxwell?” “I…” “What did you *do*, Maxwell?” There was a very distinct growl this time. No, Wufei. It isn’t what he did…it’s what I did. “Wufei, if you don’t break down that door, Quatre is going to convince himself that everything is his fault, and I will never be able to convince him otherwise. Now if that isn’t enough of an explanation for you, then I’ll find another way in because lock or no lock Quatre is *not* going to hide in there without talking to me!” I expected either the door to fall into splinters, or for Duo to appear through the window…I did not expect the doorknob to be torn out. Not broken, but literally *ripped* *out* of the door. Duo was striding through a second later, and I knew any thoughts of flight were futile. Sinking onto the bed I let my head hang. “Duo, I’m sor—” “If you say that one more time,” Duo snarled, “I’ll punch you.” On second thought…it wasn’t Duo. It was Shinigami. Oh crap. Feeling rather apprehensive, I shut up before I said something else that pissed him off. Duo sank to his knees right in front of me, arms braced on either side to cage me on the bed. Without looking away from me he growled, “Everyone else, out.” Wufei, being Wufei, protested. “Now wait just one damn minute—” “Chang, you leave or I’ll toss you out the window, copy?” Trowa snagged Wufei’s arm and towed him out the door before Shinigami was given the excuse to do just that. Heero, after a long look at us, closed what was left of the door and walked away. Which left me entirely alone with a very irate Duo. Facing an irate Shinigami has the marvelous side effect of getting you into pre-battle readiness. My mind, being fueled by adrenaline, was helpfully pointing out the various steps I made and how each step had screwed everything up. It wasn’t something that I truly appreciated. To try and distract him from attempting a mind reading (he was staring at me as if all of my dirty secrets were written over my face) I licked dry lips and ventured, “Are you still my friend?” “Q, if you dare to repeat such a stupid question, I’m going to beat you back and blue.” I’d translate that as a ‘yes’. I was also back to being ‘Q’, which was something of a relief. I was only Quatre when Duo was ready to lynch me. His eyes narrowed. “Why’d you run, Quatre?” Uh-oh. Back to Quatre. “Running scared, I guess.” “Bullshit,” Duo snapped. “W-what?” “Oh, you were running scared alright, but it wasn’t ‘cause you thought you’d screwed up our friendship. I’m bi and you know it, that isn’t a factor. When Tro walked in, I saw the look on your face. It was fear, yeah, but it was also guilt.” Oh *shit*. Duo leaned in more, and hovered an inch away from my face. “So why was there guilt? Only thing I can figure is that you’ve been harboring some other kinds of feelings for your best friend…and finally got caught.” Duo is much too perceptive for my peace of mind. I was absolutely tongue tied—no idea what to say. Fight battles with mobile dolls, dominate board meetings, work the media, yes…blurt out that I love my best friend to my best friend? I’d rather be staked over an ant hill. “Alright, if you can’t tell me, I’ll do it the other way.” Other way? I looked at him with panicked eyes. What othe—eeeeeppp! I was suddenly flat on my back, both wrists held down to the bed, and being thoroughly kissed. Even as my mind floundered for the right way to respond (there were pros and cons for giving in and kissing him back) my traitorous body sank into the moment and…enjoyed. Duo can kiss like a wet dream, and make you hard and horny and ready for kinky sex in about a minute just by kissing. And that’s without any tongue being involved. When he did slip his tongue into my mouth and started tasting me I arched up into him in pure reflex. He broke off and grinned against my mouth. “Well, that was certainly a clear cut answer.” It was hard to feel pissed with pleasure thrumming through my body, but I managed it. “You’re hot for me,” Duo murmured in a voice rough with sex and satisfaction. Anger gave me the strength I needed and I threw him off of me. He landed on the floor and looked up with an almost comical expression of surprise. “This is *not* about lust!” I growled. “If it was, I would have pinned you to the wall and fucked you through it long ago!” He blinked a few times. “Q…if it isn’t about lust, then—” Oh god, what was I *saying*? If I had been smart, I would have agreed it was lust and let it lie. But no, I had to open my big fat mouth and… For the second time in ten minutes my nerve broke and I headed for the door. Something tangled around my ankles and I went down hard, catching myself on my elbows. I tried to fight free, but Duo held on tenaciously. “Duo, let go! Just…let me go!” “NO.” He glared up at me through his bangs, slowly pulling me down to his level. “You can’t say something like that and then walk away, Quatre!” I did the only thing I could do. I twisted so my back was to him and buried my face against the carpet so he couldn’t see. I heard Duo sigh, then his arms came around me and held on tight. “Q, I’m not going to let you bury this. It’s obvious to me that something is going on, and that I’m a key part somehow. If we have to lie here all night until you can tell me, then we’ll do just that.” And he would too. Unwilling to spend a night on the floor, I gathered up whatever shreds of my courage that I could and whispered the truth into still air. “I’m in love with you.” Duo didn’t say a sound, but I knew he heard me. He froze, arms tightening in pure reflex. The silence between us became torturous. I kept talking just to break it before it could break me. “I didn’t want you to know—I didn’t want you to treat me like glass because you couldn’t love me back. Duo, just forget it. Just forget the past hour, write it off as battle lust if it makes it easier—” “Shh.” I nearly wept when he pressed a soothing and gentle kiss against my temple. “Easy, just take a deep breath okay? I’m sorry, it just took me by surprise. I thought it was a crush or something.” I resisted it when he tried to turn me over. I didn’t want him to see my face, but he was persistent and finally I just gave in. It wasn’t worth the effort. Soft kisses were pressed to the corners of my eyes where tears wanted to escape. His touch, so very sweet and gentle, just made it hurt even more. “Duo, stop—” “No,” he whispered back. His defenses were down. He thought I was beaten, and tamed to just lie there. He was wrong. I tore free and leaped over him before he could catch me again. “Quatre! QUATRE!” Even as I ran back down the stairs, I wiped at the stupid tears that kept trying to blur my vision. I wasn’t entirely successful—they blurred my vision so badly I rammed right into Wufei as he hurried toward me. It was only his hands on my shoulders that kept us both from falling into the wall. I tried to pull free and keep running, but he tightened his grip. “Winner, what the hell is going on?” “Dammit, Quatre!” I turned slightly to see that Shinigami was bearing down on us at full speed. “Stop running!” The other two, attracted by all of the noise no doubt, came from different directions. I was very surprised when Wufei pulled me protectively by his side and glared at Duo. “This is absolutely the last time that I ask this question. What Is Going On? And it better be good, Maxwell, because I don’t like to see him in tears.” Duo’s mouth clamped shut. I knew by his expression that he wouldn’t say a word. It was up to me, then. Taking a deep, slightly shuddering breath, I managed to slam a lid on my emotions and regain some control. “Wufei. It’s…not his doing. I’m the one that brought it up, and I’m the one that can’t handle it.” His dark eyes were thoughtful and very penetrating when they settled on me. “I am not at all satisfied by that answer.” Trowa came forward, catching my eyes. “Did you tell him?” He knew. It hit me with choked astonishment that Trowa knew how I felt for Duo. It was clearly stated in his eyes, just by the empathy he was giving me. How…? I gave him a curt nod, and made a mental note to ask later just how he had figured it all out. Trowa nodded back and turned to Duo. “And what is your answer?” Duo’s jaw clenched. “It’s not you I need to tell.” Wufei dragged me even further behind him when Duo started for me, and the growl from his throat was quite…menacing. Duo stopped short, glaring daggers. “Knock it off, Chang.” “Barton might have an idea of what’s going on,” Wufei returned with quiet menace, “but I don’t. And until I’m sure that you’re not going to hurt him again, I’m not letting you anywhere near him.” “Wufei, stop,” I pleaded. I was trying to get out of his hold as well, but I might as well have been arguing with steel for all the good it did me. Are we really sure that Wufei is human? Android, maybe… “Duo.” Trowa’s calm voice cooled things before it could escalate. “Do you have an answer?” Duo gave him a glare, but it faded when he couldn’t even answer that question. “Until you do, then I agree with Wufei. You’re not coming near him.” “What the fuck is up with you two?!” Duo demanded harshly. “I’d cut my braid off before I hurt him and you know it!” Wufei didn’t even answer, just firmed his grip around my shoulders and turned me away, walking toward the study. I could hear Duo and Trowa arguing (even Heero entered in, which was rather surprising) but the heavy oak door of the study shut and then everything was muffled beyond comprehension. As soon as Wufei let me go, I staggered to the nearest chair and sank into it. I expected questions, demands, something…there was only quiet. Wufei gave me the space I needed and the quiet I wanted. I wish I could have taken advantage of it, but my brain wasn’t doing anything but swirling in mad circles. What I needed was to talk it out. Usually I did that with Duo but that obviously wasn’t an option this time. Hesitantly I looked at Wufei, sitting on the couch near me. He wasn’t doing anything, just staring out the window. It both gave me privacy and yet opened the idea of talking, if I wished to talk. Drawing my knees up, I tucked them under my chin and kept my eyes focused straight ahead. “When I first met Duo, I had the biggest crush on him.” I could feel Wufei’s eyes suddenly shift to me, intense and thoughtful. “I didn’t quite know what to do about it. I’d never been attracted to another person of the same sex before. I figured it was probably because he was just so charming and was lightly flirting with me that I felt that way. So I strove to ignore it. Three months later…I couldn’t delude myself anymore. I love him, Wufei. It’s as simple as that. And as complicated, because I still had no idea what to do. I tried to hide it, put a little distance between myself and Duo, but…it’s very hard to ignore the person you love.” “Yes,” Wufei agreed quietly. “It is.” “I made a mistake earlier.” I could barely get the words out now and had to blink back tears. “And he knew something was up by the way I reacted. He kept pushing until I confessed, but he didn’t know how to respond. I knew that. I just couldn’t handle it, Wufei. He was being so sweet, and wasn’t saying anything to commit either way, and I just couldn’t…I broke and ran. So you see, it really isn’t his doing.” “I wasn’t really blaming him for that,” Wufei returned still calm and quiet. “What I blamed him for was not giving you the space you needed to sort things out.” “Duo and ‘patient’ don’t go together.” I said it wryly, and felt a small smile tweak my mouth. “I’ve noticed. Quatre, it is possible Duo can’t return your depth of feeling. Are you prepared for that?” A quiet knock at the door saved me from that very painful question. Wufei beat me to it and let Trowa slip through. I almost cringed at the sympathy in those green eyes. “I’ve managed to talk Duo into at least sleeping on it overnight.” “Thank you.” They truly left me alone after that, something I was grateful for. + I woke up the next morning on the study couch. The leather study couch. I know it was leather because when I tried to lift my head, I had to peel my cheek free. I was still in the process of peeling when I realized that there was someone behind me, arm around my waist. It took a second for the scent to penetrate—Duo. In the early morning light, I was able to put everything into perspective. The perspective was a little shaky, and somewhat out of focus, but it was solid enough that I didn’t immediately bolt. I shifted a little and the arm around my waist tightened until I could barely breathe. “You are not moving,” Duo growled in my ear. Getting a new supply of air seemed very important, so I whispered “Okay.” Duo eased up only slightly but it was enough for me to breathe again. “I had to get past all three guard dogs in order to see you and they have no idea I’m in here so keep your voice down.” He got past Heero, Wufei and Trowa? Wow. Later, I’m going to have to ask just how he managed that. I didn’t think it was possible to get past those three. “Tro absolutely chewed me out last night because I didn’t give you an answer. And I still can’t give you much of one, but I’ll give you what I’ve got.” My heart stopped. I wasn’t sure if I could stand the suspense of hearing his answer. “I’ve never been loved before, Cat, or been in a relationship with another guy. I really don’t know how to go about it. There’s three things I do know. I’ve never been closer to anyone than I am with you, I’ve never met a guy sexier than you, and I fucking *hate* being kept away from you!” The last was a very vehement snarl. “I love and care about you on a lot of levels, and I can easily see us as lovers, but I’m not sure if that equals the whole happily ever after picture. That’s not the answer you want, I know, but it’s the best I can give you.” “It’s better than ‘just friends’” I returned shakily. I turned to face him, feeling at last that I could handle what came next. “I’m sorry I reacted so badly. I’ve just…I’ve been hiding this for a while and I never planned on it becoming public so I had no expectations to work off of when you did find out. I’ve never…you’re the first guy I’ve ever been attracted to, Duo. I had no idea how to handle it.” “Even ground, then.” His hands came up, smoothing back blond hair. “I’m right here, Q, and I’m not moving. You need to make that clear with the Three Stooges parked outside the door.” I think my eyes were sparkling. This was a far better ending then what I had hoped for. “Okay. You’re going to have to tell me how you got past them in the first place.” “Later,” he promised. His eyes were searching mine intently, then he leaned forward in increments. I was frankly surprised. He…wanted to kiss me…? Our first kiss was hazed with lust and a dream-like quality. The second was tinged with surprise and lust. The third…was like slipping into a heated bath. Soothing, gentle, comforting. I kissed him back in wonder, and parted from it with a smile. “I want to try,” he whispered simply. Brushing another kiss on his lips my smile became blinding. *snick* “MAXWELL!!!” Duo jumped a little guiltily. I laughed, hugging him to me protectively. “It’s okay, Wufei, really! We made up.” Wufei glared at me, then Duo, and finally heaved a thunderous sigh. “Fine. A mission has come in, you need to get up.” He gave me a nod of approval before he disappeared again. As I scrambled off the couch, Duo slid a hand over my ass. “DUO!” I yelped. “Hey, as your boyfriend, I have every right to touch your ass.” Boyfriend? As the word sank in, I felt unmitigated delight sweep through me. I hadn’t equated the word ‘try’ with ‘boyfriend’ but apparently Duo did. Hell, I won’t argue against that! Grabbing his hand, I drew him off the couch and out of the study. It didn’t disturb me in the slightest when he tangled his fingers with mine. And I really didn’t mind when he kept them there, even while we looked over our new mission plans. ~*~*~*~*~
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