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" Beautiful Alone "Written By: Helen
Warnings: DEATHFIC!!! (I can't believe I wrote
this...), Angst, Heero POV Pairings: 1+2 2+1 Spoilers: None Archive: Deb's website, "Dragonball-diaries
http://www.dragonball-diaries.150m.com ***Anyone else please ask! I'll most definitely
say yes, but I wanna give credit to people who archived me. ^^ Rating: G Special Thanks:My ultra-fast beta Deb!! ::glomps::
Thank you thank you for being my number one beta!! ^_^ Dedication: To Amazon and all those who enter
this contest! I wish you all the best of luck!! Line Challenge: "And he/she picked up the
sword, which weighed as much as his/her heart/soul..." Special Notes : Ok, I *know* the lyrics and the
translations are going to be off. It *always* happen. I apologize
to those who knows Japanese but I'm trusting what the the translator
did on the website: lyrics one side, translation the other and the
lines match up so that is what I'm going by. I wish I know Japanese
so I could do the translations myself but sadly, I don't. Bear with
me. Ok... Now that's done... This song is really powerful in my opinion
(so far, it's the only song that made me cry). Read the lyrics ne?
I made them part of the fic so you have *no* choice. *insane laughter*
I had my entire plot just by glancing at the translations and Amazon's
line challenge was just... perfect in it. *is going to cry...* My
first Death fic... Don't kill me. *hides under bed* Songfic Notes : [romaji song lyrics]
Beautiful Alone *Entered in Amazon's March Line-Challenge Contest*
[toge no aru kotoba dake] Even the vibrant light of one, snuffed out by my own hands. I look up towards the casket, where a lifeless body lies within. The body of my only love. [konno machi wa utsushiteru itsumo] Always beautiful. Long, flowing chestnut hair covering me like so many feathers... thin, soft lips whispering eternal words of love... large amethyst eyes succumbing to slumber.. Beautiful. My love. [meguriau hito ga nagareru] Down into the earth. Never to see light again. I hope the red flower will remind you of the love I've had and will always have. Shovels of dirt... knocking the rose off... covering the casket... burying you forever... [shinjitara kuzureso] It may be silly to believe such a thing; but it can happen. One can hope... Long after everyone left, I still remain next to the grave. [fuandake dakishimeru hibiyo] To have you in my arms one more time. Just one more time. To hold you close, to never let go... [moshimo kokoni anata ga] Tears well up in my eyes. I squeeze them shut; I will not let them fall. But they do anyway. One by one until continuous lines run down my cheeks. Hot streams flow faster and faster I cover my mouth, stifling the anguished cry of pain. Pain that will forever reside in my heart.. [itara hanasanai noni] *Flash* *smiles* "I've been waiting for you. Come on." *Flash* "Just a bit further. Hurry up or we'll miss it." *Flash* "Isn't it beautiful?" *Flash* "*soft sigh* I'm glad you're with me..." [tokeino otoni oikakeraru] *Flash* "What is it?" *Flash* *kiss* "Am I really?" *Flash* "Can we stay like this... a little longer?" [wasurerukotode kyoo no hi *Flash* "Of course I love you. That's for eternity." *Flash* "I will never leave you. I promise..." [anata tto bokutono sabishisa o] Hours pass until I finally leave the grave. My tears have stopped, dry tracks still visible on my face. Possessing strength that I never thought I had, I walk away from the lonely cemetery where my heart now resides. Away to someplace special... to both me and you. [kasaneru yoni shite kuchizukeru] It was... right before I... Closing my eyes, I try to block the painful memory from entering my mind. The last time you'll ever look at me... the last time you'll ever smile at me... the last time you'll ever whisper loving words to me... the last time you'll ever kiss me... I walk on. Never looking back. [futariga itameta kizuatoga] On and on until I reach the secluded mountain top. So quiet. All that brought this place life is buried with you. Never again will this place shine like it used to. I won't cry. I can't cry. Tears long gone. [utsukushii wakare o tsugeru daro] With a heavy heart, I finally notice the soft blazing sun descending behind the other mountains, casting long shadows mixed with the fiery colors of red, orange, and yellow upon the jagged walls. Beautiful.... The first time you shared this with me, you said the same thing. But I said, "You are more beautiful than the sunset will ever be..." Sitting against the mountain's wall, memories continue to wash over me. Painful... [nayamashi yoru dakega] Hurts more and more with every memory... The air grows chilly. I shiver without your warmth. The night has come. I continue to stay awake long after the stars reveal themselves in the behind the clouds in the sky. I dare not fall asleep just yet... [ai no kage shiite iru kitto] It's you... reaching out to me... smiling.. "Come with me..." I extend my hand as well... running towards you... panting... Almost there... so close.. Passing... Falling... I snap awake. [michi kakeru tsuki o samayo] Eluding sleep and those dreams, I make my way down the mountain by the light of the moon..... Alone. The moon... so luminous. Just like you, gleaming in the darkness, always giving light to everything around. I continue down, tripping on stray rocks, uncaring about the bruises and cuts appearing almost instantly on my skin. The essence of my life... trickling away with every step... [eien ga owattara] Fatigue threatens to claim me as I near the bottom. All I want is sleep. Perhaps I can... one day... to see you again... to hold you again... [munashisani tsutsumaru sotto] Never ever... That's a promise. Stumbling forth, I didn't notice the dark clouds opening up to give way for the drizzly mist. Nor did I notice as the fine sprinkling change into a steady downpour. Nor did I notice the water washing away the red trails behind me... [sorani kieru tsubame o tsubasa boku ni attara] Continuously, the rain drips from me to land on the
ground. But I smile. Mixing with the rain... I'll see you again real soon. I can feel it. Stumbling, I make my way into the rundown shelter where your last breath still lingers. Where I took your life. [shizuka na ameni yasashiku nureru] I climb into the bed where you spent your last minutes. Soft pitter patter... Almost lulling me to sleep but I won't. Not yet... [nanika o motome sonno kawari <<<FLASHBACK>>> "What do you mean?!" the boy with colbalt eyes exclaimed "I'm really sorry..." the doctor replied. "It... can't be helped. The mutation is too great. The cure won't work." "But you have to... it has to!!" "It... it might cause aggravation and become even worse." "There must be another way... I... I can't..." "There is no other way... he will suffer as it destroys him from the inside. And that can take hours..." The boy looked at his lover on the bed. Biting his lip, he knelt down and gently brushed back the sweaty chestnut bangs. Heavy amethyst eyes opened. "I can't do this... I can't do this to you." The other smiled. "I would... rather... it be done... by you..." "But, I can't." "I trust you..." One last kiss to pale lips. Eyes close again. "There... is no other way...?" he whispered. "The choice is yours and yours alone." the doctor said softly, placing a sheathed blade on the table before leaving. The boy looked at the blade, then at the one he loved, then back again. His jaw tightened... He got up... And he picked up the sword, which weighed as much as
his heart... No sound... but increasing sobbing... <<<END FLASHBACK>>> [anata tto boku tto no kannashimi o] Walking out of the shelter into the diminishing rain, I leave the memories behind. I no longer need them. [itawari auyoni dakishimeru]\line Swaying... dizzy... Wait for me. Collapsing... hurt... [futari ga kizuita omoide ga] Crawling... closer... I won't cry. I will make it to you. I'll be with you... [utsukushii kodoku o egakudaro] Trickling... dripping on the floor... [anata tto bokutono sabishisa o]\line Dragging... slowly... [kasaneru yoni shite kuchizukeru] So close... [futariga itameta kizuatoga] I touch the gravestone bearing your name. I smile [utsukushii wakare o tsugeru daro] A red petal... floating to me. Reaching out to catch it, I hold it close. And I sleep.. Owari Author's Notes : *sniffs* Alright even if my fic isn't
as angsty as I thought it was going to be, listening to the song on
auto-repeat while writing it is hard! *sobs* The song is so beautiful...
*wipes eyes for the xxth time* So... Confusing? Yes? No? Gomen if
it was. Realize I didn't make use of any names but you can guess ne?
Bonus points if you can make connections 'cause I tried to connect
everything I wrote. |
