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"Falling Diamonds"Written By: Heartfelt Disclaimer: Don’t own anything Gundam Wing,
only wish I did (sigh!) The original characters are mine, ALL MINE!!! Rating: PG 13 Warnings: Language, violence, angst, Yaoi Pairings: 1x2x1 Summary: An old injury reminds Duo of the day
Duo and Heero confessed their love to each other. "Falling Diamonds"
Duo didn’t mind for he often held on to Heero just as tightly. He supposed that it made sense. After all, it was their fear that had drawn them together. He just hoped that their love would always be enough to keep them there. A soft hiss caught his attention and Duo glanced towards the window. The glass was streaked with rain, casting shimmering shadows on the wall as the light from the convenience store across the street shown in, providing faint illumination. Duo frowned and, as if on cue, a spasm cut through his lower back. Damned rain, he thought uncharitably. He couldn’t be faulted for the negative thought. The dampness always made his old wound ache fiercely. It had been on just such a night that he’d almost lost Heero, that Heero had almost lost him. But, then again, Duo mused, looking down at his sleeping lover, it was that same, rain-drenched night when they’d finally put three years of foolishness behind them. When they’d finally let their hearts accept the peace they’d bled and suffered for. Even now, when they’d been living together for so many months, Duo experienced moments in which he thought his new life of domestic tranquility with Heero was merely a dream. Who would have thought that he could become so wrapped up in another person, that he could lose his heart so completely in such a short period of time? Not that three years was such a short time, Duo thought to himself. He smiled, realizing that, at eighteen, he had already lived through more than most dared conceive in their darkest nightmares. He could still remember the night on that dock, the air filled with gunpowder and the smell of the sea. A boy, standing on the pier, his thin body covered with nothing than a green tank top, black spandex, and ugly, yellow sneakers. A boy who held the gun in his hand like a seasoned pro and who’s eyes spoke of duty and death. Duo had been fascinated, despite himself. When that foolish girl had tried to save the boy, even though he’d clearly intended to kill her, Duo had thought her mad. But, as that crazy, tumultuous year had progressed, as he’d come to know Heero, become his partner and maybe even a friend, he began to understand the girl’s strange behavior. Heero inspired a strange sort of loyalty, his grim innocence calling to others and pulling them in. Like everyone else, Duo had not been left unaffected by Heero’s unconscious magnetism. But, at 15, he’d been too scarred by the still fresh tragedies that had beset his young life to recognize his feelings for what they were. He understood his lust; that was easy, familiar. Years on the streets had exposed him to that singular emotion and he’d been caught between his body’s desires and his anger at Heero for inspiring such a dirty, shameful response. His confused feelings and Heero’s slavish adherence to duty at the expense even of his own life had put them at constant loggerheads. During those few weeks when he’d thought that Heero had died, ending his existence in an apologetic blaze, Duo had experienced the first glimmers of the truth. He’d stayed with Quatre, fighting and continuing on with the cause as best as he could, but inside, it was as if a piece of his soul had died. And then, when, against all odds, Heero had return, Duo hadn’t been sure how to feel. Part of him wanted to beat the shit out of Heero for making him live with the belief that he was dead. But another, deeply buried part rejoiced, urging him to take Heero into his arms and never let go. Both longings were repressed as the war raged on until Heero’s destiny finally found him and the world was saved from the destruction it had brought upon itself. Another twinge in his back interrupted Duo’s reminiscent reverie. He didn’t want to move. He wanted to keep lying there with Heero pressed against him, but he knew he had to get up. There was a tiny shard of metal lodged near his spine which no surgeon had found the gumption to remove. A few inches to the side and Duo would have forever been reduced to assisted mobility. Paradoxically, moving around helped ease the spasms. Sighing, Duo began the long, careful process of extricating himself from Heero’s hold without waking him. It took a considerable amount of skill, as, even now, Heero was the lightest of sleepers. Duo was up to the task, however, and after a few minutes, he stood beside the bed, chuckling as the still slumbering boy transferred his grasp to Duo’s pillow. Duo bent over, mindful of his back, and gathered up the clothing he’d scattered there earlier in the evening when more pleasurable, naked pursuits had been the only thing on his mind. After pulling on his discarded jeans and wrinkled shirt, Duo shuffled barefoot to their small kitchen. As he waited for the microwave to warm a mug of water for tea – Quatre insisted it was medicinal – Duo let his mind return to the past. The Earth had celebrated the end of that long war, welcoming the colonies back into her bosom like prodigal children. But not all had been pleased about the cessation of hostilities. No more than a year after the five Gundam pilots had risked their lives to bring an end to all war, they had found themselves embroiled in another. Once more, Duo had pledged himself to helping Heero, having come to understand during that year some of what was in his heart. Old friends turned foe and a used, misguided little girl had almost ended everything they’d worked so hard to achieve. But, by some miracle, they were again allowed to prevail. They had drifted apart after that. He’d gone back to Hilde and the salvage yard, trying to scrape together some semblance of a normal life. And Heero... Heero had disappeared into the voids of space as though he’d been merely a figment of Duo’s imagination. The nameless yearning in his heart he’d chalked up merely to missing a good friend. Turning his misplaced emotions toward Hilde, he’d mistaken his feelings of affection for love, pledging himself to her in the most ridiculous of ways. Fortunately, Hilde had been made of sterner stuff and held herself immune from his charming attempts to win her heart. She’d known the truth but had been too kind to tell him. And, when Duo’s suppressed longing had begun to manifest as a restless dissatisfaction with his life and himself, Hilde had urged him to do something about it. She’d told him that he didn’t owe her anything. He’d been in the thick of things too long to be content sitting on the sidelines while conflict continued to threaten the tranquility of the Earth and the colonies. So, after much protest, Duo had finally realized that she was right and took her advice. He’d joined the Preventers, a continuation of the organization formed by Lady Une to combat Dekim Barton in AC 196. Duo had been glad when he’d found Wufei, Quatre, and Trowa there, lending their considerable talents to Une’s effort. They’d welcomed him into the group with the same sincere camaraderie that had seen them victorious through their many shared struggles. But, there was someone missing; the one person Duo had been secretly praying he’d see. Heero still hadn’t been found and no one knew if he were alive or dead. After a full year of silence, he’d become no more than an elusive memory in their busy lives. Until one day, during a briefing meeting, Une introduced them to the newest member of their team. The others had greeted Heero warmly and with relief, expressing their pleasure at his resurfacing and their happiness that he was to join the Preventers. Duo had wanted to join them, but, he was held back by the burning sensation behind his eyes and the tightness in his chest. Alive. Heero was alive and Duo wanted to weep with joy at the discovery. All at once he was able to put a name to the indescribable loneliness that had assailed him ever since Heero had disappeared into the streets of that Earth-side town after the fire of Barton’s madness had been extinguished. Finally, Duo knew why he hadn’t killed Heero that long ago night on that windy dock, why he’d followed Heero into countless battles from which neither should have returned, why he’d risked himself time and time again for the cold, pure ideals for which Heero had fought. It wasn’t because he’d cared so much for the colony that had forced him to grow up so fast in its dark, twisted alleys. It wasn’t for the brief warmth he’d known at the hands of a long-dead friend or the softly smiling eyes that had fervently believed in the benevolence of an uncaring God. He loved Heero. It was that simple and that complex. Duo had felt trapped by the private revelation. Heero had been as dedicated and fanatical as ever, his soul filled with nothing but the need to complete the mission. Although his methods were kinder, his focus not quite so single-minded, in the end, there was no room in his heart for something as amorphous as emotion. And, behind his eyes, there still lurked an emptiness, as though he knew that his life held no meaning and no value other than what he could accomplish for the good of the Earth and the colonies. That reckless unselfishness had frightened Duo, reminding him of how dangerous it was to risk loving another human being. He’d already lost so much, had been forced to part from everyone with whom he’d ever shared any part of his true self. Why open himself up to the pain of loving someone who had proven that he didn’t care whether he lived or died? Duo had tried, tried as hard as he could to cool his ardor, his desperate need for his intense partner. But, there was no help for it. Every day, every moment spent in Heero’s presence, watching him as he pushed himself through mission after mission, catching the glimpse of the scared little boy Heero let escape as he slept, seeing the awkward moment of surprise when he’d been hugged by a little girl they’d rescued from a kidnapper’s gun, everything simply made Duo love Heero even more. Duo jumped slightly when the microwave beeped, indicating that his hot water was ready. He steeped a pinch of loose tea leaves in the water and wandered out into the living room. The heat didn’t work so well in this room, something they’d been meaning to fix, and the floor boards were chilly against his feet. Duo stepped over to the large picture window, the only one in the room. It was one of his favorite spots. He enjoyed sitting on the wide sill, Heero tucked in behind him, just watching the world go by. It was too dark for that tonight, though, and the rain had picked up, pouring from the sky in solid sheets. Every now and again, a random drop would catch the light from a nearby street lamp, the glint betraying the presence of the cascading fall. Duo settled onto the window ledge, lifting his right leg to the sill while the left remained on the cushions that were aligned below. The slight stretch in his back that resulted eased the ache somewhat. Duo took a sip of tea, staring through the wet glass. Suddenly, he decided that he wanted to feel the rain on his face. Holding the mug in one hand, he slid open the right half of the window. The damp air flowed into the room, bringing with it the frosty breeze of the late fall air. Folding his free arm around himself, he sat in the open window, looking out as the gauzy curtain beside the window and the steam from his breath danced on the currents of the wind. A night just like this: cold and miserable. Even now, he could still remember every detail of that fateful moment. It was burned in his mind, forever taunting him with the nearness of his loss. What if he’d been a few seconds slower or a little less alert? Duo hugged himself a bit tighter as his mind shied away from the thought. It didn’t bear contemplation. ________________________________
They’d argued bitterly only a few hours before and the air between them was tense when the transport dropped them at the predetermined point. Their last mission had been a nearly averted failure and Heero had blamed the close call on Duo’s carelessness. Duo had missed a fairly easy shot on a suspect, allowing the man to get away. True, he’d been captured mere seconds later by another Preventer agent, but the man had been a ringleader of the drug ring they’d been investigating and his loss would have meant the ruin of months of work. Duo crouched with Heero in a clump of shrubbery near the terrorists’ base, fidgeting uncomfortably as they waited for a break in the guards’ surveillance. Rain had been threatening all day and a few drops had escaped the overcast sky only to plop on his face. Heero shot him a quelling look. Duo ignored him and kept his attention on the deceptively rundown warehouse several yards in front of them. Heero could glare all he wanted. Duo was just as pissed. For, although Heero had conveniently forgotten, Duo remembered that botched shot clear as day. Far from sloppiness on his part, the only reason he’d failed to nail the fleeing suspect was because Heero had just been jumped by one of the drug ring’s thugs and the man had had a knife to Heero’s throat. The thin scar from the blade still marred Heero’s skin and Duo remembered how his heart had stopped when he’d thought the other boy’s throat had been cut. He’d been seconds away from shooting Heero’s assailant through the head when Heero reminded him of why he was considered the most capable soldier on the planet. The thug had been dispatched quickly, but the momentary distraction had cost Duo his shot on the ringleader. “Why the Hell do you feel this constant need to risk your life, Heero?” he’d asked later as they’d stood apart from the other Preventers, the members of the drug ring being stuffed unceremoniously into cars only a few feet away. “We survived the war. We’ve been given the chance for a future, for a real life. Do you just want to throw that all away?” Heero had ignored him, watching the activity as the arrests continued. Growling in frustration, Duo had wanted nothing more than to use his fist to make the other man see that he did have something to live for. Something that was standing right in front of him. Remembering Heero’s aggravating obtuseness, Duo clenched his jaw to prevent an ill-considered phrase from leaving his lips. Just then, he felt Heero’s eyes on him again. The rain had started in earnest and wet droplets beaded on his skin as strands of his wet hair clung unpleasantly to his face. He glanced over at his partner before Heero could look away. “What?” he whispered fiercely. Heero just continued to stare and eventually Duo noticed that his gaze was completely lacking in malice. Instead, Heero expression, if it could be called that, was almost enthralled and Duo found his heart suddenly beating faster for a reason completely different than anger. He’d convinced himself to lay his unrequited feelings for Heero aside and to accept that, to Heero, he’d never be more than a sometimes irritating partner. But that look was something he’d never seen before on the other boy’s face and Duo found himself confused all over again. He was distracted from Heero’s strange behavior as the guards disappeared from the front of the building. The silent exchange was put aside, if not forgotten, and Duo and Heero slipped into the base. The stolen data wasn’t difficult to find. An anonymous tip from a disgruntled member of the terrorist group had alerted the Preventers to the information’s existence. The hint proved accurate and Heero quickly retrieved and deleted the pilfered files, which contained details about a new planetary defense system currently being developed. Duo covered the doorway and waited attentively until Heero signaled his success. They moved in a single, coherent unit as they made their way from the warehouse. Whatever conflict had been between them, it had never affected their almost uncannily flawlessly teamwork. Reading unspoken signs from each other that anyone else would have easily missed, Duo and Heero managed to avoid any of the sentries and stole from the base without alerting anyone to their presence. Duo was just congratulating himself on a job well done when it all went wrong. He should have known better, he’d told himself later. There was always something that could botch an otherwise perfectly successful mission. And, this time, it wasn’t even his fault. Heero was in the point position as they left the warehouse and it was difficult to say who was the more surprised, the former Wing pilot or the man he caught pissing against the side of a tree. The man, obviously a guard, had been caught with his pants down, literally, and Duo could see the sharp fear on his face as Heero lifted his gun to silence him before he could raise the alarm. But, Duo could also see a shadow in the distance, which was rapidly closing the distance between them with precise, purposeful movements. The terrorist materialized from the darkness, quickly taking in the situation and deciding that the best way to rescue his beleaguered comrade would be to take out the blue-eyed man who was aiming a regulation semi-automatic pistol towards him. Duo had never believed the stories he’d heard from some of the old, former Federation soldiers he’d known while in the Sweepers. He’d laughed in their faces when they’d told him about how time could slow to a crawl when a situation was in danger of slipping from life to death in the blink of an eye. But, from the moment he’d fought in his first battle, Duo had never laughed at the notion again. Never had a moment seemed longer than the instant in which the second terrorist raised his rifle and focused a narrowed gaze towards Heero’s head. A loud report split the night as Heero shot the half-naked terrorist and a second crack followed immediately behind as the other one seized his chance. Perhaps Heero saw the bullet as it streaked towards him. His entire body went unnaturally still as he stared in the direction of the speedily approaching instrument of death, but he didn’t even try to dodge, knowing that he didn’t have time to avoid it. Duo could see the resignation in Heero’s face. It bordered on relief and his heart raged in rebellious fury against the knowledge that the man he loved was about to die. In hindsight, Duo still found it difficult to believe how quickly he had moved. He’d been standing several feet away from Heero and, yet, it only took a mere second for him to leap in front of his unmoving partner. The impact of the bullet had slammed into him, throwing him against Heero and knocking them both to the ground. Duo felt Heero’s arm rise and heard the discharge of the gun as the second terrorist was succinctly dispatched. But, the only thing in his mind, as he lay against his partner’s chest, was his profound gratitude that Heero was safe. Duo thought it strange at first that he was unable to feel his legs as Heero pushed him away. He fell heavily against the ground, wondering why there wasn’t any pain. Heero bent over him, speaking quietly, lest anyone else be alerted to their presence, yet with intense urgency. He caught his name and the word “okay?” spoken in a gruff tone. He answered, or thought he did, but his reassurances didn’t make it past his colorless lips. Heero lifted Duo in his arms, taking great care not to jar him any more than necessary as he carried him to the relative safety of the woods surrounding the terrorists’ base. Shock converted to morbid humor and Duo, pale from blood loss, joked to his grimfaced partner that it’s too bad he couldn’t just remove the bullet from his back like Heero had set his own leg that time. “Shut up,” Heero mumbled as he performed first aid with competent alacrity, pressing absorbent pads from a standard issue med kit against the gaping wound in Duo’s back and binding it tightly with gauze. Instinct murmurs reached his ears as his partner radioed in to their waiting transport for emergency retrieval. Duo looked up at Heero, whose hair and face gleamed wetly in the weak moonlight that peaked occasionally from in between the lessening clouds. He reached up, fighting against the strange lethargy that had overtaken him, and caressed the side of the other man’s face. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered, emboldened by the slowly dawning realization that he was dying. Heero froze for an imperceptible moment before hiding any surprise he may have felt at the unexpected declaration. He returned to wrapping Duo’s midsection, carefully passing the roll of material beneath the supine man, eyes narrowing at how quickly the strips were stained with red. “I said, shut up.” The words were more emphatic but the tone was less than certain. Duo blinked rapidly wanting to clear his vision, which was slowly becoming dimmer. There was something important he needed to do. He shouldn’t be lying on the cold ground. Suddenly, he remembered the mission and tried to get up, fighting weakly against Heero’s restraining hands. “We need to get away from here before they find us,” he said, gasping as he felt a stab of persistent, though distant, pain. “Don’t move,” Heero ordered, doggedly holding down his clearly delusional partner to keep him from hurting himself further. But, Duo was determined. His mind, fogged with bloodloss and a pain so intense that his nerves could barely process it, was completely focused on one thought. It was the same notion that had made him shield Heero with his own, entirely too vulnerable body. “I have to make sure that you’re safe,” he said. “I need you to be safe.” Heero was shocked enough that Duo was able to move away and push himself to a sitting position. The attempt was abruptly forestalled when a burning pain in his back made him scream out in agony. Duo fell back to the ground, his ears filled with the sound of his own heartbeat and Heero curses. “You damned idiot! Why in the Hell did you do something so stupid?” Gasping at the agony which gripped his entire body, Duo looked at Heero and struggled to make sense out of the uncharacteristically fervent question. “Why?” he echoed, voice weak from the effort it took just to breath. Heero’s head was bent, his hand clenched so tightly in the muddy dirt that the tendons in his strong forearms stood out in sharp relief. Duo wanted to reach out to him, to comfort him though he didn’t understand the cause of Heero’s suffering. “Why?” Heero repeated, his face hidden as he directed the question towards the ground. “Why did you take that bullet for me?” Suddenly, he looked up, his eyes bright with confusion and fear. He grabbed Duo’s arms roughly, though Duo’s overloaded senses barely registered the new source of hurt. Restraining himself from shaking his fallen partner, Heero met Duo’s eyes with a glare as intense as any he’d ever turned on an enemy. His eyes begged for reasons, for an answer. “Why did you take that bullet for me?” “I couldn’t let you get hurt,” Duo replied. “Why?” Heero demanded, his dissatisfaction with the seemingly obtuse answer reflected by the angry confusion in his piercing gaze. Duo exhaled slowly, closing his eyes. It was an easy question. He’d thought the answer obvious. It certainly was to him. Why had he taken that bullet? Why had he sacrificed himself? “I love you.” The truth was revealed. The words had been spoken and could not be taken back. The dizziness suddenly cleared from Duo’s mind and he realized what he’d just said. He opened his eyes and looked at Heero, who stared back at him in wide-eyed astonishment. Damn. Duo cursed himself for the looseness of his tongue. Embarrassed heat flooded his face and, for a moment, as he turned away from the other man’s stunned silence, he was glad that he was dying. He wanted to roll over and bury his face in the soggy, wet dirt, maybe drown himself in the water that had pooled on the ground, but his body wouldn’t cooperate. He could do nothing but lie there while is life ebbed away and wait for Heero to react to his confession. The seconds ticked past, marked by the drops of rain that fell on his upturned face and Duo waited patiently, anxiously, for the explosion which was surely to come. And come it did. But the fingers on his chin, which forced him to look towards his partner, the firm lips that pressed against his with fierceness if not skill, were not exactly what he’d expected. Duo’s heartbeat quickened as he realized that Heero was kissing him as he’d always dreamed of being kissed. He parted his lips to grant admission to a questing tongue and marveled as another sensation replaced the pain in his body. Duo opened his eyes when Heero ended the exchange, pulling his lips away with flattering reluctance. Duo looked up at him, afraid to ask for an explanation lest he discover that the kiss had been nothing more than a product of his imagination, a fevered effect of his recent bloodloss. But he couldn’t stop the question that spilled from his lips. “Why?” he asked, uncaring that his parroted demand lacked in originality. “I love you, too,” Heero said. The words were unbelievable, incomprehensible. Duo was certain that he’d misheard. He shook his head to indicate his lack of understanding. Heero smiled gently, the unfamiliar gesture looking surprisingly natural on his lips. He bent over the prostrate man looking up at him with confusion in his beautiful, amethyst gaze. “I do love you,” Heero said, the effect on Duo’s heartbeat just as intense the second time around. “I was afraid to love you because I didn’t know how. It was always safer to just focus on the mission than to admit how much I wanted to be near you, how afraid I was that something would happen to you, how much I’d miss you if you were gone. I didn’t know how to tell you what I felt; didn’t know if I should. I thought, if I just ignored you, if I acted as coldly towards you as I felt inside, that my need for you would go away.” “But it didn’t,” Duo added. He knew exactly what Heero meant. He’d played the same game of denial with his own emotions. And, apparently, Heero’s attempt had been just as futile. “No, it didn’t,” Heero confirmed. “I even went away after the Barton incident just to try to get over what I’d made myself believe was nothing more than an infatuation. But everywhere I went, everything I did reminded me of you. My feelings just continued to grow until I knew that I had to come back and be with you again, even if it was just as a partner.” “I was afraid too,” Duo admitted. “I was afraid that you would die and leave me alone.” He was too affected by the dual shocks to his body and his heart to appreciate the irony of their current states. But Heero’s jaw clenched as Duo’s skin glowed ever paler in the cold moonlight. “I’ll never leave you,” Heero whispered gruffly, bending low so that he could look Duo right in the eyes. “I’ll never leave you and, damn it, don’t you ever leave me.”
That night, Duo had offered his life into Heero’s hands along with his heart and he’d never once had cause for regret. They had realized, lying together in the rain-drenched darkness, that they could face anything so long as they had each other. Lost in the past, Duo was unaware of his lover’s presence until a hand came to rest lightly against his shoulder. He looked up and smiled at Heero, who was likewise barefoot and clothed in his cast offs from earlier that day. “Your back bothering you?” Heero asked. Duo nodded and Heero grunted. “This cold can’t be doing you any good. Why are you sitting in the open window?” “Umm, just thinking about that night,” Duo replied. Heero smiled, the expression coming to him more and more easily with every passing day. The former Deathscythe pilot turned into the warm fingers that stroked gently down his cheek. He gazed up at the other man, his chest aching suddenly with the strength of his love for the sad, brave warrior who still cried out sometimes in his sleep from the horror of his memories. He grabbed Heero’s hand and held it tightly in his own. “If-If I’d lost you without telling you how I felt... .” Heero shook his head as he brought Duo’s hand to his lips, forestalling the useless conjecture. “You didn’t lose me. Not then, not ever.” Still holding on to his mug, Duo eased his free hand around his lover’s neck as he felt long fingers burrow into his hair. The rain continued to pour, descending like falling diamonds from the sky. Just as it was that dark, wet night, the promise of forever was sealed with a kiss. And Heero always kept his promises. Owari AN: Dedicated to Sharon, who has never compromised on her love of Duo and Heero and who made me the TeniPuri fangirl I am today! ^______~
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