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"An Inexplicable Thread"Written By: ELLE Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Gundam
Wing (unfortunately) and they were used without permission, but all
the words are my own. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: AU in modern day, language, extensive
drug use, my poor understanding of the military, CIA, and Yakuza,
likely it'll get pretty smutty at times but I'm not certain how long
it'll take to get there. Pairings: 1x2 Summary: For years now, Duo has been plagued with visions of a mysterious man he is forced to paint. Meanwhile, Heero is returning from undercover field work to a life of nothingness. But they will soon learn they are more entwined then they know... Notes: I'm trying something a little different with the POVs in this. I normally stick to third person POV but only follow one character's thoughts. In this story, some chapters are going to be half Duo's POV and half Heero's POV. Then others, when they're together, are going to be a mixture. We'll see how it works out. I'm a bit nervous about it because I frankly despise mixed POVs as I find them contrived and unrealistic, BUT I can't see any way around it so here goes nothing.
"An Inexplicable Thread"
The sun beat into the vaulted glass studio room with bright, oppressive cheeriness but Duo's mood matched its optimism and he didn't mind in the least. He hummed along to a peaceful recording of Gregorian chanting, which was an admittedly strange choice, but he thought that it alone could match the way his spirit felt at that moment. With big, broad strokes he brushed paint across an impossibly large canvas with his bare hands, careful to keep his balance on the step stool he needed to reach the top. Lightly he hopped up and down from his workspace, picking up carefully cut strips of sheer paper and pressing them lovingly into the paint on the canvas so they stuck. As Emily* said, 'hope is a thing with feathers, that perches in the soul,' and Duo knew the bird trapped in his heart needed to burst forth onto the canvas so that the whole world could see it and feel the same. Although it had been days since their meeting, the impact it had on Duo seemed never ending. He had never fully realized the effect those forced paintings had on his psyche. Truly, he had been in a dark place for a long time, thinking he was crazy, thinking he was possessed; unable to tell anyone for fear that they wouldn't believe him, tell him he was exaggerating, making it all up; wanting to experience it again and again and wanting it just to go away, burn all the paintings, pretend it never happened... Now he knew. The man was real. He had a name. Heero. Those things he painted actually happened to him. And he met him. He met him. Even if he never saw Heero again, at least he knew. And so he set about creating the most positive body of work he had completed to date. He vaguely hoped his key investor wouldn't be disappointed, but Mr. Winner had always seemed happy enough himself and he never understood why the other man took such an interest in his dark work to begin with. Not that it was any of his business to pry. Suddenly Duo heard his work phone ringing and glared down at his hands covered in half-dry paint. He sighed and decided that at least it was latex, it'd peel off mostly, and he dashed down the hallway to beat the machine. After all if it were the gallery owner he'd hate to miss the call. "Hello," he sung into the phone, holding it with his shoulder to avoid as much paint exposure as possible. "Duo Maxwell speaking." "Can I see them?" The rough, direct voice on the other end almost made him drop the phone and his heart immediately began pounding in his chest. "You're not really one for greetings, are ya?" Duo joked, but Heero was silent, waiting for an answer. "Yeah, yeah, come on over, I'll give you my address," he consented, waiting until Heero was ready to give it to him. "I can be over in thirty minutes," Heero offered, obviously wasting no time. Duo glanced around the living space quickly before he agreed, scrubbing his hands furiously under the facet. "Sure, whenever, I'm just working all day." Which had Duo wondering, why wasn't Heero working...? The phone connection was cut before anything else was said and Duo plucked the phone from his shoulder and stared at it in disbelief. Quickly he glanced around his open living space and took stock. His apartment was at the top of a high rise and consisted of two large rooms and a bathroom. The other room was meant to be a big master bedroom, but Duo fashioned it into his studio and stuck his bed opposite the couch in the kitchen/living room area. Luckily he didn't own much so making it presentable was relatively easy. Quickly he threw dirty dishes in the washer and made his bed. No sooner had he finished making the bed than a knock fell on his door. Heero certainly didn't waste any time, he thought, suddenly overcome with nervousness that he was there, now, about to enter into his private space. Most of his so-called friends didn't even know where he lived. He certainly didn't make a habit of inviting total strangers in. But he put on his best smile when he opened the door, soaking in the vision that stood there, chocolate tousled hair falling into deep prussian eyes, still unable to truly believe he was real and really about to enter his studio. "That was quick!" Duo exclaimed as he held the door open and Heero entered cautiously. "Don't worry, no booby-traps," he joked, elbowing Heero in the arm and receiving a cool glare for his actions. Heero's eyes scanned the room that contained all of his worldly possessions and nodded. "It's... nice," he said shortly, knowing his approval was far from necessary but obviously feeling as if he should say something. It made Duo chuckle. "Wait 'til you see my studio." He winked and lead the other man down the hallway and into the huge workspace, his giant work-in-progress disregarded and drying in the midday sun. Duo couldn't believe he forgot about it and hurriedly began covering his paint cans so that they wouldn't dry out. But Heero clearly only had his mind on one thing, and once his eyes alit upon it he walked towards the multiple stacks of paintings featuring his face on the far wall. The last one, the diner scene, was titled against them, facing forward and Duo watched silently as he walked up and studied it. Carefully he set it to the side and began picking up the pieces one by one, staring at each one for a long time before setting it to the side to view the next. Duo eventually decided to walk over to him and stood behind him silently, observing him as he stared at painting after painting of himself. "At first, I was broke, and scared, and I painted over them not to waste the canvas," he murmured quietly, unsure what words he could offer the man. He must've felt violated. He must've been scared. "But once I started selling, I started saving them, to remind myself that I wasn't making it all up, that I was truly crazy..." Heero didn't take his eyes off the piece he was holding but he set it back down anyway. "You should paint over all of them," he replied darkly, staring at the stacks as if he might be able to burn them to ash with his mind. Duo set a sympathetic hand on his shoulder, and though he felt the muscles under his fingertips coil and tighten, Heero didn't brush his hand away. "I suppose there really isn't any point in holding on to them anymore, now that you're here." "I don't know how long I'll be here for," Heero replied, finally turning to meet his eyes. Duo let his hand fall away. "Oh," he answered dejectedly. He felt foolish that he wanted some sort of relationship with the man. Heero owed him nothing. He was just an unfortunate victim of an inexplicable situation. For some reason Heero seemed to take pity on him and revised his statement. "Well, it'll be a couple more weeks, at least." Unable to stop it, a smile spread across his face. "Hey do you want some lunch? I could fix us something and you don't have to talk or anything. I could listen to myself talk for hours." He winked then and Heero looked like he was going to dismiss him out of hand but he paused. And when he agreed it delighted Duo beyond measure. Quickly he led Heero back to the living area and instructed him to make himself at home on the couch while he prepped chicken salad wraps. "I don't mean to pry but I'm assuming you've not been in the city long, having followed your life and all," Duo started casually, laughing a little at his joke. "I'm supposed to have a show coming up in two months. I don't know if you'll be here for that but if you're looking for something to do you should come on by." Heero made a noncommittal sound and Duo smiled. "Even though you won't be in any of the works, you know, not as such, you definitely had a profound influence on this body of work. I was just going to rehash some things that didn't sell before and add a few pieces but man, ever since I ran into you I've been so inspired. It's been a long time since I felt this way. It's nice, actually. Really nice." He paused to bring Heero a glass of ice water and some chips and salsa, setting them on the low coffee table before him. Heero was flipping through a book e.e. cummings he had sitting there. "I spoke to thee with a smile and thou didst not answer," Duo murmured quietly, getting the silent man's attention for a moment as he returned to the kitchen area. "You know if you like diner food you really oughta try Susie's down on East Main. Ah man, her reuben is to die for." Carefully Duo wrapped up the sandwiches, cutting them in half and fishing pickles out of the jar to accompany them. "Maybe I will," Heero finally offered as Duo looked up from his task and met his eyes. This time his smile was easy and unforced, sensing that Heero really would listen to his advice. "Tell JoJo I sent ya. She'll give you some of those famous chocolate chip cookies." Duo's voice was light and teasing, unable to imagine Heero enjoying cookies at all, at least not the way a normal person did, so he didn't expect Heero's face to strain and an unreadable emotion to take over momentarily. He wanted to ask but was desperate to continue their tentative amiability so he let it go. Duo crossed the room to set the food on the table, pulling out an oversized pillow and sat cross-legged on it on the other side of the table. He tried not to study him but he couldn't help noting the purposeful way he moved. It was like every bite was premeditated, even the smallest movement planned. Duo felt uncouth in comparison. "Did you learn that in the military?" Duo finally asked, unable to control himself, after a rambling tirade about the best late night food spots in the city that Heero was clearly only half-listening to. He didn't really want to ask such a personal question, but the words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop it. Heero lifted a skeptical eyebrow and stopped the wrap midway to his mouth. "What?" "The way you are. You're so... deliberate." Duo suddenly felt embarrassed to be pointing out something like that and stared up at him with shy eyes. Heero lowered his hand and contemplated it a moment. "No," he answered finally. "I think I've always been like this." Duo chuckled. "You must hate people like me. I can't move through a room without inspecting and inquiring about everything." Heero shrugged, "I don't really care," and took another bite. "But your friends are all like you, right? Introverted, contemplative...?" "I don't have friends." The answer rolled off Heero's lips easily, as if he didn't give it a second thought. Duo blinked in surprise but Heero was completely unaffected. He laughed. "You don't have any friends?" "No." Still matter-of-fact. Surely he must be joking, Duo thought, though he didn't seem like he was joking at all. "But those people I painted you with...?" "Work," he answered simply. "No family?" "Not that I know of." "A girlfriend?" Duo tried desperately. "Once." "Once?" Heero shrugged again, letting the implication of his lonely life fall off him like water. "The effort required to maintain a romantic relationship with a woman isn't worth it." Duo felt his jaw slacken and his mouth fall open before he snapped it shut promptly and pretended like that was a normal thing to say. He had to wonder what kind of person would be so nonchalant about the fact that he essentially had no one in his life he cared for, no one he could turn to if things got rough. He wondered how long you'd have to be alone before you became completely numb to it. He wondered if he could ever reach that point, given enough time... "I just try to be honest," Heero said at length, breaking Duo from his reverie. He almost seemed as if he was offering the explanation for his own sake, not to further any conversation with Duo. "But I suppose there is no place for honesty in this world..." Duo reflected on that a moment. "Art is honest," he said at last. Heero's serious eyes met his for a moment, probing him, trying to get at his heart. He felt strangely naked under the stare. "Maybe," Heero conceded after a moment, "but I don't understand art." A smile spread across Duo's face then. "It's easy," he explained. "Art's all about how it makes you feel." But a darkness stole across Heero's features as he stood. "And therein lies the problem." Duo felt a sudden spark of compassion within him that made him want to wrap the man in a ceaseless hug and - no. He realized immediately what a ridiculous idea that was. If Heero had no friends, he certainly didn't care if Duo was his friend or not. "Look, thanks for everything, lunch, letting me see the pictures," Heero said hurriedly as Duo stood to walk him out. "But I really should be leaving." "Yeah," Duo agreed, though he wouldn't have minded if he stayed longer. "You can call me anytime." And just like that, he was gone once more. But this time, Duo felt sure he would see him again.
tbc... ~ * ~ * In reference to Emily Dickinson and her poem Hope. Author's Note: I hope this chapter wasn't too outrageously boring. Transitional chapters kick my butt. I always get trapped up in my own words. Duo's part was definitely longer than I would've liked and I think it egged me into Heero's being longer too which is what made me separate the chapters. Their themes are pretty different and together they'd have been like double the length of other chapters so the next one will be Heero's. Promise. =) |
