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"An Inexplicable Thread"Written By: ELLE Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Gundam
Wing (unfortunately) and they were used without permission, but all
the words are my own. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: AU in modern day, language, extensive
drug use, my poor understanding of the military, CIA, and Yakuza,
likely it'll get pretty smutty at times but I'm not certain how long
it'll take to get there. Pairings: 1x2 Summary: For years now, Duo has been plagued with visions of a mysterious man he is forced to paint. Meanwhile, Heero is returning from undercover field work to a life of nothingness. But they will soon learn they are more entwined then they know... Notes: I'm trying something a little different with the POVs in this. I normally stick to third person POV but only follow one character's thoughts. In this story, some chapters are going to be half Duo's POV and half Heero's POV. Then others, when they're together, are going to be a mixture. We'll see how it works out. I'm a bit nervous about it because I frankly despise mixed POVs as I find them contrived and unrealistic, BUT I can't see any way around it so here goes nothing.
"An Inexplicable Thread"
Duo had carefully made sure no hair was out of place when he went to meet the man whose name he still didn't know. He tried to dress down, just jeans and a black t-shirt, getting the distinct impression that some of his more flamboyant attire wouldn't engender feelings of trust and kindness in the stoic man. Though he felt a little silly about taking so much time to think about his appearance, he cut himself some slack. After all, he'd had secret trysts with this man for years. Although he might not know Duo, Duo felt to some degree he knew him, and he couldn't help but want to make a good impression on his ever-present painted friend. But as he slipped into Papi's he attempted to tone down his expectations. This man obviously didn't have the same experience as him and appeared less than receptive to his sudden presence in his life. And despite painting him for the last eight years, Duo didn't actually know anything concrete about him. He had no idea what he did for a living - if he were still a solider, wouldn't he have painted him that way more? - or why he would be here now, all of a sudden. He easily spotted the dark man sitting alone at a table, looking extremely uncomfortable in the festive atmosphere, and slipped into the booth with him. Quickly he flashed him a signature smile, trying to put him a little bit at ease, but if anything that only deepened the glare he received. "You have to remove those pictures." The words were matter of fact. Heero had actually thought about nothing else since the night before. Even if he couldn't explain how he had the pictures, they still had to be removed. That had to be priority number one. To his credit, Duo managed to disguise his shock in amusement and that smile widened on his face. This pleased Heero to a slight degree. It was easier for him to deal with people who knew how to mask their secrets than those who wore their hearts on their sleeves. "Okay, okay," Duo agreed effortlessly. "No introduction?" Maybe he just wanted to get down to business, but Duo felt this was a pivotal moment in his life, possibly the only reason he was alive, and he wouldn't let this man slip through his fingers too easily. He needed to know him, know why. Heero frowned but didn't feel threatened. Considering it for a moment, he finally decided to tell him. "I... I'm Heero Yuy." It felt strange to say his given name after four years of doing all he could to forget it. This time Duo's smile wasn't forced and he reached out his hand for a shake. Reluctantly, Heero accepted, noting how warm and honest the handshake was. It had been a long time... Guarded touch was all he was allowed. Feeling awkward, he repeated his demand. "Seriously. You have to remove those pictures." Duo waved his hand easily, just glad to finally have his name. Heero... "No problem," he agreed. "I don't show them or anything, I only had them on my website in case... in case you wandered along." Those impossibly blue eyes pinned on him made his heart race and he vaguely hoped he wasn't too flushed. This relaxed Heero a bit. But only a bit. "I would appreciate it. My line of work doesn't really welcome anyone knowing details that intimate about my life," he admitted, much to his own surprise. He didn't plan to tell Duo anything. And though those words were rather ambiguous, it was more than he'd intended to say. Duo's eyes widened in his own surprise. "Those were - I mean, that really - You were really there?" he asked, perplexed. "You were at that diner two nights ago?" Heero silently cursed himself. The less Duo knew the better and here he was handing over more information to him. "You don't know?" Heero finally asked pointedly. Until that moment, he felt like Duo held all the cards. Now he wasn't so sure. Duo blushed a moment and paused. How could he tell this man, who seemed so austere and proper, about his drug-induced visions? Luckily Duo was saved for a moment when the waiter came for their order. Heero just ordered a beer while Duo got empanadas and fried plantains with the promise of letting Heero try them, despite his disinterest. Once they were alone again, Duo stared at his hands, hopelessly calloused, the crevices stained with paint. Staring further up his arms he saw the beginnings of a few collapsed veins. Despite how careful he was, there was no way around it, years of drug abuse were hard on the body. But years without drugs were hard, too, Duo knew. He could tell Heero was studying them too, but he didn't say anything and seemed earnestly neutral. "Sometimes," Duo started slowly, softly, "in certain situations, I have these compulsive visions of you. I... I can't do anything about them, I just have to paint them. If I don't paint, I have to draw. I have to get them out. It's like a possession. So many times I thought you were just a demon within me, forcing its way out..." He stole a quick glance at Heero's eyes, those deep blue spheres staring dispassionately at him, the way they had so many times in oil and latex and charcoal, studying him. Duo flipped his eyes back down again. "I never knew you were real. Sometimes I wondered if what I painted was happening to a real person at that very moment, but I thought I was just crazy, I thought I was imagining it..." Finally he stared back up, fortifying himself. "I never thought I'd really meet you." Heero considered the words carefully. From his arms he could easily tell Duo doubted himself due to his own drug abuse, but Heero felt like he was in no position to judge. After all, he spent years shaking hands with drug lords and did his own fair share of illicit activity in the name of friendship with them. His training told him Duo believed everything he said, even if his story was... outlandish. He studied Duo's strangely indigo eyes, wondering if they were enhanced by contacts, and finally deemed him of no possible threat. They were interrupted by their waiter and Duo seemed happy to have a distraction. He politely offered some to Heero, who declined, and set about to make short work of the meal. "When did it start?" Heero asked carefully. He felt like there must be a more logical explanation than what he had received, but if there was, he knew Duo had repressed it to the point of believing this ridiculous story of visions and possessions and that any actual information he was going to get had to be extracted slowly and gently. For all he knew, someone could've been feeding this information to him while he was high... Although it did seem unlikely that Duo would know someone who knew that much about him, it was the only reasonable explanation he had. "Oh, for years!" The food gave Duo more gusto than he'd had before and he smiled, glad Heero hadn't completely brushed him off as insane. "Ever since -" he hesitated, embarrassed and unsure of how Heero would react. "Since I first did heroin," he admitted weakly. Heero's eyebrows rose almost imperceptibly, but that was it. "So you think this is tied to your drug use?" Heero rolled his beer glass in his hand casually, trying not to sound like he was belittling the other man despite how preposterous that statement was. Moments like this he was glad he could fall back on training to take care of his own innate inability to deal with people. Especially illogical, flamboyant people. "Well, yeah," Duo admitted, ashamed although Heero didn't seem particularly judgmental with his question. And he had a right to know the truth about how Duo had all these paintings of him. "That's the only common denominator that I can find." Heero considered his words again as Duo ate. He still didn't believe him, despite how he believed himself, but he didn't know how else to approach the matter. Duo set down his fork then and looked up at Heero cautiously. It was his turn to study, though he knew his own eyes held none of that trademark intimidation. Although Heero was very good at guarding his thoughts, Duo had stared into his eyes for years on end, considering what may be behind them, trying to learn their secrets, and he could see easily through the facade the other man had erected. "I don't care if you don't believe me," he said finally. "I'm just glad I got to meet you." This took Heero aback slightly. It was such a foreign thought process to him that he almost inquired why anyone would feel that way. As a field agent, being believed was everything, the only thing, that mattered. Feeling uncomfortable and unprepared, Heero slid out a few dollars and placed them under his unsampled glass. There was really nothing more he could say without considering motives and intentions and drawing up a game plan. Unfortunately he was completely unaccustomed to this kind of association. He didn't even know who he was or how he was supposed to feel, let alone what to convey to this strangely unguarded man. Duo attempted to hide his disappointment, which Heero appreciated, and he cheerfully asked, "gone so soon?" "There's nothing more to say," he stated simply. Then thought to add, "is there?" - just in case he changed his mind and was going to confess something plausible. Duo shrugged as he speared one of the last fried plantains dejectedly. "I guess not." It was more than he should've expected for me to want to be his friend, Heero thought bitterly. But he supposed that's what kept Duo from attempting any personal questions. He must know how nonsensical the whole situation was. With that Heero was gone, slipping down the street in the direction opposite his apartment in case he was being trailed. Though he supposed that was a pointless concern. Obviously whoever was manipulating Duo was good. Very good. So good he had been following him for years without his knowing it. The thought made him shiver and he felt like indeterminate eyes were crawling all over him. This was really the worst situation he could possibly imagine for a spy and he had no one to turn to. He'd briefly considered calling his handler, but immediately realized if they deemed him compromised he'd be chained to a desk before he could draw his next breath. And then he may as well not bother to draw any more anyway. No, he considered, stealing a glance at himself in the reflective surface of a shop window as he passed, this he was going to have to do alone.
tbc... ~ * ~ |
