"Seven Days of Spring Break "

Written By: ELLE

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Gundam Wing (unfortunately) and they were used without permission, but all the words are my own.

Rating: NC 17

Warnings: modern day AU, a little bit o' marijuana use, some m/m sex, light cursing, potentially triggering discussion of miscarriage, and a large bit of serious psychological, angsty stuff wrapped in a sappy sugar coating of good feels.

Pairings: 1x2, past 6x1, previously unrequited 1x4, 5xS.

Summary: Suffering from situational depression, Heero agrees to accompany his best friend and travel 900 miles to his hometown on their last spring break as undergrads. He didn't expect to meet a man who would make him question his very understanding of what it means to be happy.

 

"Seven Days of Spring Break "

Thursday | Day Six | Heero Rides Bareback and is Serenaded at the Bar

 

Heero awoke a bit later than normal, feeling emotionally exhausted. The last few days had taken a toll on him and not only because of his seemingly endless realizations. So much forced social interaction was difficult on the introvert. Even when no one expected him to start or even add to any of the conversation around him, it was still draining and he was looking forward to a day alone. Quatre's father had asked Quatre to accompany him to the city so that they could tour their corporate offices and discuss business transactions, which left Heero practically alone in the mansion, save for the three members of staff.

So he took his time shaving and showering and relishing in the solitude. When he eventually wandered downstairs he found a small breakfast spread waiting just for him as always and he ate leisurely, considering what he was going to do with his day. Topping the list was digging through Quatre's father's extensive documentary collection.

He had just settled in to watch an acclaimed documentary on World War II when Jennifer found him to inform him that Duo had entered his gate code at the bottom of the driveway.

To say he was surprised would've been an understatement. He didn't understand how Duo could've misinterpreted Quatre's clear statement last night. With no small amount of disappointment he stopped the documentary and went upstairs to meet the other man and inform him that Quatre wouldn't be back until later.

Duo bounded up the steps with a big, genuine smile on his face and Heero frowned. Despite how good he was at it, he hated to be the bearer of bad news. But Duo seemed unperturbed by his serious posturing and leaned into the open door frame, very close to Heero, so close he felt uncomfortable.

"Quatre's not here today, remember?" Heero stated quickly, just to get it out of the way before his thoughts were pulverized by Duo's presence.

"I didn't come here for Q," Duo said with a laugh. "I came here for you!"

Heero blinked before his brows narrowed in suspicion and he stared at Duo, confused.

"Aw come on! I told ya I had sumthin' planned for e'ry day of the week, yeah?" Duo pushed himself off the doorframe and put his hands on his hips. "You only got one more full day here so we gotta make 'em count."

"I just -"

"Did you have something better to do?"

Duo's expression was almost one of hurt and Heero paused and thought of the documentary and his alone time but when his eyes turned back to Duo's face all he could think about was kissing him and rational thought was eclipsed by desire and he shook his head curtly.

"Great!" Duo grabbed his hand and Heero barely had a chance to slip on his shoes and shut the door before Duo was dragging him to the pick up.

It seemed like years since Heero sat in that truck the last time after Duo picked him up off the side of the road. He never thought he'd be gay, or interested, or that'd he kiss him. He never thought he'd be so... Heero realized he didn't really know how to describe him. Kind seemed too paltry but magnanimous too lofty and anything in between seemed flippant. Duo truly seemed to care about the people and things around him and Heero had spent a lot of time with people who cared only for themselves. And the difference was striking and Heero wondered what it would be like when he went back to Ithaca. Heero wondered if he would miss Duo.

Once they were out on the highway Duo reached for Heero's hand and despite all their kisses and hand holding yesterday, Heero was surprised and reached back tentatively. It felt wrong when he was going to be leaving so soon but it also felt wrong not to accept. He truly enjoyed holding Duo's hand. And the space between them couldn't change that fact any more than he could condense those 900 miles with the strength of his desire.

"Are you okay?" Duo asked quietly and Heero dropped his hand in favor of clasping his own together, to extricate himself from the emotions he was feeling.

"I... yeah," he replied awkwardly, a length.

"It's not like that," Duo said, his eyes on the road, both hands wringing the steering wheel. "The way the other's think it is. I just wanted to get to know you."

Heero wasn't sure if that made him feel better or worse. He stared out the window. He didn't want to think about it.

"You are a Yuy - you have the heart of a lion. Live up to your name."

Lion or no, he felt like a coward. Wasn't there a movie about this he saw once, once when he was a child and he sat in her lap and she held his hand? Where even the cowardly lion had courage and all you had to do was wish for it and you could go home?

"My mother died when I was eight."

He heard the sharp intake of Duo's breath, felt his eyes on him but Heero didn't turn his head, didn't look.

"I never got over it."

The silence stretched like the highway between them and Heero swallowed as he watched the pavement blur underneath the tires.

"Now you know me."

Duo didn't say anything for a moment and then, quietly, he murmured, "I never had a mother," and he held his hand back out without taking his eyes from the road and Heero stared at him as he accepted. He remembered Duo saying he had been in foster care but he didn't understand the implications and now he felt silly to think of his pain and his experiences as paramount to everyone else's.

He pulled off onto an access road and parked in the grass, grabbing a backpack and locking the doors of the truck. Heero stared around in confusion but Duo waved him along and they walked together down the side of the road. He knew better than to ask what they were doing if Duo wasn't volunteering the information so he settled into accepting his ignorance. But they only walked about half a mile until they came along a fence and it was obvious Duo was looking for something on the other side. Because he was focused on the distance he missed the horses standing at the fence five hundred feet away but when he turned his eyes and saw them, he beamed.

"Easy peasy!" he enthused and Heero was immediately skeptical but having an affinity for horses he didn't say anything as they approached. Duo dug around in his backpack a minute for some carrots and he gave one to Heero and another to one of the horses. Heero easily handed off his carrot and pet the horse's nose affectionately. They seemed like rather mellow specimens and Heero was glad for that when he considered Duo's likely intentions.

"You like horses?" Duo asked and Heero shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess I do."

"Have you ever ridden?"

Heero scoffed. "I told you I have."

"You did?" Duo seemed genuinely surprised.

"I told you I rode hunt seat growing up," Heero explained. "In fact, I used to compete. I was quite good."

Duo seemed perplexed. "Hunt seat?"

"It's a classic style of English riding, designed to imitate fox hunting."

"Oh, hmm. Yes. Well..." Duo seemed a bit embarrassed. "I don't think we really ride like that here."

Heero honestly wasn't sure if they did or didn't so he didn't comment but Duo climbed over the fence.

"Have you ever ridden bareback?"

Heero twitched an eyebrow up. Of course he'd never ridden bareback, he was classically trained.

"Without a bridle?" he asked carefully. It certainly wasn't a wise move, he knew that. It was much more difficult to control a horse, especially an unfamiliar one, with no saddle and no bridle but Duo chuckled as he opened his bag and pulled out two soft hackamores.

"Nah, not that stupid." He winked. "Just bareback."

"No..." Nor did he ever intend to but then this was the country and he reminded himself that they did things differently here and he tried not to think of different as wrong.

"First time for everything?" Duo asked with a hint of a challenge and Heero's eyes returned to the horse in front of him.

"Do you know the temperament of these horses?"

"Yeah, real sweet, totally used to people riding them bare. Almost never have a saddle on," Duo assured him. "But it's different, yanno, you hafta ride up higher, hafta to be careful not to dig your heels in, ya hafta use your upper thighs. Leg cues are real important, you can't fuck around with 'em."

Heero took what he said as a warning and climbed over the fence, wiping his palms on his jeans and trying to invoke confidence as he watched Duo mount the horse effortlessly. He watched as he got into position and studied how he moved so that he could imitate it himself. When he mounted he didn't stumble and though it took him a minute to get the feel of where he needed to be on the horse, Duo beamed at him for his aptitude and overall ease.

Then Duo had the horse turn and move further into the field at an easy trot. Heero applied a bit of leg pressure to turn his own horse and he followed the other man into the field. As a result of his training, he leaned a bit more forward than Duo, who seemed to like to lean back and easy as his body shifted from side to side with the horse. But the series of maneuvers Duo led him through Heero accomplished without difficulty and the braided man turned over his shoulder to smile at him before leaning forward, gripping the reins in his hands, and spurring the horse into a run.

A grin spread across Heero's face as he leaned forward onto the horse's neck, his hands stroking it, and he whispered to it as he did to all his horses before his calves tightened into it's flank and it took off across the field after Duo.

The wind through his hair felt glorious and he was glad Duo came to get him today because he knew they would've never gotten to do this with everyone there. And he rarely had a chance to ride any more but it was something he'd enjoyed and it felt as much like home as anything else. He'd forgotten the wonder of working in tandem with another creature, but he quickly remembered and his cheek pressed against the horse's neck like a kiss and he focused on the feeling until they slowed as they met the tree line and he was forced to straighten up.

Duo's hair was wisped around his face from the hard riding and they grinned at one another with residual exhilaration. They didn't need to speak because Duo's eyes said 'you're welcome' as simply as Heero's had thanked him and then he was leading them carefully through the trees.

Heero had never ridden through a forest before and wasn't prepared for the concentrated effort it took but luckily Duo seemed to know the best path and that took some of the difficulty out of the task. It felt singularly romantic to be riding through like this with sunlight streaming through the treetops and birds chirping back and forth at their disturbance and it made Heero want to blush to be thinking that way.

When they reached the river Duo stopped and pulled two long leads from his pack, tying the horses up to a tree and Heero looked at him, perplexed.

"Whose property is this?" he asked, unable to believe he hadn't thought of it sooner.

"Old guy I know," Duo explained as he worked. "We go back a long ways. He owes me this time - took a big hit on his transmission when it blew last week."

Heero accepted that explanation as it was easy to imagine Duo knew just about everyone and it really didn't matter if the guy had a name as Heero would probably never meet him anyway.

"Hey," Duo said when he finished, getting Heero's attention, and he walked up to him and placed his big, hard palm on Heero's cheek. "You were really good! Most people don't take to bareback that easily, but I thought you could do it."

Heero frowned at the assumption. "Dangerous."

"Well, originally I was gonna have ya ride behind me," Duo teased and he drew his fingers across Heero's face and winked before turning around and wandering down along the river.

Heero followed in his path and he wondered just how much property this guy owned. They seemed to be progressing slightly downward until suddenly the landscape dipped dramatically and Duo angled his feet and slid down the bank, looking back at Heero as he hopped down a bit less gracefully.

"When I was a kid, I ran away a lot," Duo explained as he started digging up rocks in the river and Heero watched on curiously. "Sometimes I ran away from some pretty decent places. Kinda dumb of me, looking back, shoulda just stayed, but yanno, I was kind of a stubborn lil' bastard. Aha!" He cheered and Heero stepped forward to see he was holding a deep brown crayfish. "I used to love looking for these suckers," he explained as the little crustacean waved its claws in circles desperately. Duo sat him carefully back into the river then and he stared into the water as it swirled leaves through gentle eddies and around mostly submerged rocks.

"When I was a child," Heero replied in turn, feeling heavy, feeling like had to say something back after Duo's returned confession in the truck but unsure what he was supposed to say, "after my mother died, my father dropped me off at a boarding school one day and he never came back. I haven't forgiven him for that, but now I know, it was better that he didn't."

There was silence between them before Duo spoke again, and when he did it was quiet.

"I was given to a guy in south Tennessee that beat the living shit out of me. Only took once. I ran away for real then. Best thing I could've ever done in the long run, though." His throat sounded raw.

"How did you get over that?" Heero asked, feeling very small for being so wound around his own suffering when Duo's must've been so much worse. Despite the heaping emotional abuse, his father never beat him.

Duo shrugged and smiled, a bit thin, but still, it was a smile. "I did forgive him."

Heero felt betrayed. He glared at the gritty riverbank under his feet. He was wrong to feel small. Duo didn't understand at all.

"Everyone struggles in their own way," he explained softly, without condemnation. "I guess maybe that guy was beat as a kid and he didn't know anythin' else. It wasn't about me. It was about him."

Heero's fists shook and he wanted to punch something. Glaring at the ground wasn't satisfying. Duo didn't understand.

"He never cared about her," he growled. "He was glad she was gone, glad he could run off with another woman. He didn't even cry."

"Heero," Duo's voice was gentle and patient. "Maybe it was the only way he could cope."

His whole body shook and he wanted to punch Duo and he closed his eyes to contain his anger but another calm voice was ringing through his head. He didn't want to hear it - he didn't want to hear the words he couldn't believe about a man he hated but he couldn't stop them from coming now any more than he could stop them from being said then.

"Don't be angry with your father any more. I can't always say I've liked the man, we disagreed frequently and the things he did to you were dishonorable, selfish, and cowardly. But he loved your mother deeply and he never truly accepted her death. His pain paralyzed him, lead him to poor decisions, but don't be angry with him for that. He was never taught how to properly manage his grief."

Heero didn't want to believe that. Didn't want to believe there was anything good about his father, a man he didn't even know, a man who abandoned him without the excuse of death.

He didn't want to be the bigger man.

He didn't want to forgive him.

"Soon, he will be the only family you have left. We cannot abandon our family."

He didn't want to say it of a dead man, but his grandfather was wrong. Wrong. Family or no, he had abandoned him first, abandoned him the moment she went into the hospital, as soon as the pre-term labor began.

He couldn't have two children so he decided to have none. That was his choice. It wasn't on Heero to forgive him.

"I can't," he ground out through gritted teeth and he couldn't look at Duo, couldn't see anything, even the ground seemed far away and he didn't want to be there anymore, he didn't want to be standing there. He wanted to be moving, walking away, hiding from what he had to do, from what he didn't want to do.

"Then you will always carry that hurt with you, everywhere you go," Duo murmured and he wanted him to shut up. He didn't understand. Duo didn't fucking understand.

He couldn't let it go. He didn't want to let it go.

"I don't want to let her go." His voice caught on the words and that was really the crux of the issue. He remembered so little now that if he let go of his hurt, if he forgave his father and moved on, he was terrified he wouldn't have anything left. Her legacy was nothing but his anguish and if he let that go...

He would rather feel pain than lose her forever.

"Oh, Heero," Duo breathed as a sigh before he wrapped him up in his arms, a hand cradling his head as he buried his face into Duo's shoulder before he started to cry. He didn't want to cry. He didn't want to but he gripped uselessly at Duo's shirt and pressed himself against the other man, desperate for a touch that had been denied to him for so long.

"You can forgive, but you don't have to forget," Duo whispered in his ear as his fingers ruffled through his hair. Heero withdrew his face from its position tight against Duo's neck and met his eyes with hesitant curiosity.

"Forgive him for the things he can't help," Duo urged quietly, his eyes scanning Heero's quickly, searching them for some level of understanding Heero wasn't honestly sure he felt. "But don't forget the way he made you feel - don't forget how deeply he made you care for her."

And then, maybe it was inappropriate, but Heero kissed him. His emotions had run rampant and he didn't know how to tamp them down so he did the only thing he knew to do. And Duo kissed him back, gently, and kept kissing him. Kissed him until their kisses became urgent and needy and all talk of the past was forgotten for the present.

They stumbled backward from the river into the leafy underbrush and Heero pushed the backpack straps off Duo's shoulders and Duo grabbed at the hem of Heero's shirt, pulling it up to his armpits so that he could trace his fingers across his slick, smooth skin. Heero gasped as those fingers flicked hard nipples and Duo's lips curled into a smile against his own.

Heero discarded rational thought as he worked up Duo's shirt and let his fingers skim against his hard lower abdomen, following the hair down to his waistband and teasing underneath it. Duo twitched and grabbed his hand. Heero thought he'd done something wrong but Duo kept kissing him and Duo dropped his hand and grabbed his ass and pressed their bodies together desperately.

He groaned into Duo's mouth as his fingers kneaded Duo's ass and he rolled his hips against Duo's. He felt wonderful, good and warm, and Duo wanted him and Heero could feel it and it had been a long, long time since anyone wanted him like that.

Suddenly Duo was fumbling with his pants, their lips still locked, and Heero was a little surprised after Duo removed his hand but he sure as hell wasn't going to stop him and he brought a hand up to Duo's neck, keeping him close against his mouth. With Milliardo kisses were rationed and doled out according to his wishes but with Duo - he felt like Duo would kiss him forever and it made him ache. He never wanted to stop.

But he was forced to when he felt Duo's fingers on his dick and he gasped, shocked, overwhelmed, and Duo paused. He pressed his hand against Heero's cheek and looked him deep in the eyes, and Heero felt more exposed than he ever had before but he stared back, not hiding for once, trusting Duo. And he smiled, ever so slightly, and rejoined their lips and Duo met them with playful ferocity.

"Fuck!" Heero hissed and Duo laughed, a hand on Heero's ass, keeping him close as he grasped both their hard cocks together in the other hand, rubbing up and down around them, pressed tight against one another. He felt weak, light-headed, and he buried his head in Duo's shoulder and panted, gripping his upper arms with both hands so tight he was afraid he'd bruise him.

Duo released him and kissed his way across his chest and down his stomach and Heero's dick twitched with anticipation and it was too much, he was too weak, it'd been too long, and he grasped Duo's hair and forced him to stop. Curiosity and hesitance wrote themselves across Duo's face as he looked up and Heero bit his lip, a little embarrassed as he sat down. Duo was already on his knees and just grinned at Heero and leaned forward to kiss him, one hand stroking his chest, lightly running down his side and making him shiver.

He yanked Heero's pants down further, past his knees, down around his ankles to give him better access. The vision of Duo between his bent knees, braid hanging over his shoulder, fingers arranging his dick through the front of his boxers, mouth poised to swallow him was almost more than he could bear. He buried a hand in Duo's hair and leaned forward to plant a kiss on the top of his head before he was engulfed in the warm wetness of Duo's mouth.

"Fuck," he moaned out again, throwing his head backwards, lifting a hand to his mouth and biting down on the back of it to keep himself from crying out. Duo's tongue swirled across him, worked and teased every sensitive spot until he swelled and throbbed and he knew he was close. Heero forced his head forward again to look upon his handsome friend turned lover and he noticed that Duo was touching himself as he sucked him off, moving his hand furiously over his own cock, and a thrill went through him when he realized just how hot this made the other man, just how turned on Duo was, and the buzz bottomed out in his stomach and he groaned as he came, slamming his eyes shut for a moment as Duo licked at his tender dick.

But then his eyes shot open and he grabbed Duo by the back of the head and closed the short distance between their mouths, kissing him hungrily, overpowering him and forcing him onto his back. It was awkward and he fumbled with his pants trapping his ankles but in the end he lay next to Duo and wrapped a hand around him, caressing him with quick, deliberate strokes.

"I'm so close," he whispered urgently before Heero had even really started and it excited him to know that it wasn't because of his touch, no, he'd only gotten a few strokes in, but it was because Duo had been touching him, sucking him, turned on by him that Duo was so close.

Determined to reciprocate the favor, Heero stopped his hand, rolled up on top of him and shimmied down his body, planting wet kisses on his torso before taking him in his mouth. Duo's hips bucked up and he held them in place so Duo twisted his fingers in his hair, jerking it roughly as he desperately tried to create friction with nothing. Heero moved purposefully, steadily, and he prolonged Duo's ejaculation just the way Milliardo had taught him how. But it was better, more delicious, as Duo gave in to his power and begged him for release, moaning his desperation at first until he descended into babbling the word "please" over and over again in a needy, wanton cry.

When Heero finally gave in and allowed him to cum, Duo gasped and jerked and the force of his ejaculation surprised Heero but he took it and swallowed and licked him clean before collapsing down next to his momentary lover. With shaky hands Duo cupped his face and kissed him and Heero melted against him, wrapping a strong arm around his waist and pulling him closer. Milliardo never kissed him after sex, never kissed him after he blew him, never wanted to taste himself on Heero. But the swollen tenderness of Duo's lips after he'd sucked him off was different and wonderful and the fact that Duo wanted to kiss him, too, wanted to prolong the heady feeling of orgasm with tongues and lips was all that Heero had ever wished for.

Duo pulled away after a moment and stroked Heero's bangs with his fingers, running them lightly across his cheek, and he smiled softly and then kissed him again and they got lost in the kiss until their limbs ached and the warm sun streaming through the trees made them sleepy. Heero pulled his pants up so that he could slip his legs between Duo's and he slid his arm under Duo's head like a pillow and kissed him lightly, just the barest touch of tender lips to tender lips, over and over until he couldn't move and Duo's eyelids slid closed and they fell asleep.

When Heero awoke his arm was asleep and he was sweaty but his eyes took in Duo and he smiled and he pressed his hand against his cheek when his eyelashes began to flutter. They opened quickly with his touch and they stared at each other a moment, reaffirming their mutual affection.

And Duo kissed him again, and Heero kissed back, and for a moment under the canopy of those trees Heero thought this world was perfect, he could be safe, he could feel love or at least something damn close to it and he wasn't ruined. He wasn't too jaded.

"I could kiss you forever," Heero whispered against Duo's lips and they formed a grin under his own.

"You'd eventually get hungry," Duo teased, fingers tickling up Heero's bare stomach and making him jerk, but he still managed to shake his head in protest.

No, he'd never get hungry. He'd never starve. He would swallow every ounce of affection Duo offered and it would sustain him for the rest of his life.

"Speaking of hungry..." Duo left his embrace and stood, buttoning his pants and pulling down his shirt and retrieving his discarded backpack. Heero redressed as well and Duo urged him back to the river where they wandered down a bit further to where a thick tree had fallen across. Duo walked out onto it confidently and Heero followed until they were in the center and they sat together, legs dangling just above the flow. Duo pulled out a container of grapes and oatmeal cookies he'd apparently baked himself and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with peanut butter on both sides so the jelly wouldn't bleed into the bread.

Heero picked his sandwich apart into little pieces and thought of the lunches he used to take to school before she died and how she cut the crust off of each one and it wasn't until that moment that he realized what a pain in the ass that must've been and how wasteful it was but she did it anyway because she loved him. And he thought, maybe he could learn to love her without anger and he thought, if only he could remember more little things like that, he could start to let it go. But it scared him a little and he looked shyly at Duo and Duo leaned over and bumped his shoulder with his own and smiled back at him. It was comforting, even if Duo didn't know what was going on in his head, and he loved the easy silence they could have between them. Duo was clearly far more sociable than he - Heero had heard him talk at length all week, always thinking of something to say if there was a lull in the conversation, always quick with a comeback or a joke - but when it was just them, he made no demands on Heero, didn't feel the need to fill the silence with trivial chatter or personal inquiries.

They took a long, winding way back to the horses and Duo became a one-man walking encyclopedia of planets and animals and explained to Heero all kinds of things about their surroundings that he didn't know. The way parasitic ivy wound up a tree or how this flower was edible but another one wasn't or what type of animal dug into the ground like that. Heero started to form a completely different picture of his surroundings as he began to independently notice the things Duo was pointing out. He began to understand Duo's affinity for the mountains now as all these little things wove a story about the creatures that existed there and how everything coexisted. Interrelated. Harmonized into the beautiful cacophony of chaotic, miraculous, utterly improbable display of life before him.

And Heero realized, sometimes he spent so much time thinking about death that he forgot about living. And he wondered if maybe this is what his grandfather meant. If maybe he was the wind through the trees now and all he had to do was listen close enough and he would hear him.

"It is a beautiful part of life to be reunited with the Earth."

He knew that was ridiculous and he shook his head at himself for his foolishness but then couldn't help but smile anyway.

They rode back together through the forest and across the field and Heero felt happy and free. He smiled openly at Duo as they walked back to the truck and Duo smiled back.

"Know when Q's sa'posta get back?" Duo asked as they slid into the bench seats and he turned the key in the ignition.

"Around six, I believe."

"Hil' was telling Cathy about open mic night at the bar and now they all wanna go," Duo explained with a sigh. Heero's eyebrows narrowed together, surprised Duo seemed somewhat distressed by that plan. Duo glanced at him and shook his head and Heero knew he understood the silent question and so he waited for him to elaborate.

"It's just the bar is kinda... Well, it's the bar. Up until a few months ago this was a dry county, yanno, no alcohol sold in restaurants and what not." Heero snorted at the explanation. He couldn't even believe a place like that existed where alcohol was banned from restaurants. "So we got one bar now and people get too drunk there and the cops come every night but hey, I guess it could be fun. Just didn't really wanna show ya that side of us." He chuckled a bit, embarrassed. "When you live here, it is kinda fun to see who's gettin' arrested t'night."

Heero shrugged. He didn't care where he was as long as Duo was there.

"But we gotta kill some time til Quat get's back." Duo noted with a frown. Heero considered his abandoned documentary and brushed at his jeans with a hand absently.

"Maybe you could watch a documentary with me?" he asked quietly and Duo looked over at him with a smile.

"Sure! What'er we watchin'?"

Heero paused, unsure. "Ken Burn's The War."

"Whatever you want," Duo replied easily and Heero felt a little better, though he had a feeling Duo wasn't really interested.

So he was surprised when they settled into Quatre's couch in the basement and Duo threw an arm over his shoulder and watched with rapt curiosity. And Heero was even more surprised when it was genuine and they ended up pausing it frequently to discuss the implications of what was being presented on the world and the communities that were the focal point of the film.

In fact when Quatre found them they had gotten very far sidetracked and had the film paused for probably a half hour in a heated debate over the effectiveness of the New Deal.

"So I see you found a way to stay busy," he teased Heero as he sat down on the coffee table across from them. But when he noted how far they didn't make it into the documentary, he frowned. "You haven't been arguing this whole time, have you?"

"Uh, no!" Duo snapped quickly and they both deliberately didn't look at one another, loath to admit how they spent their day together. "Just got here two hours ago." A convenient way to bypass the whole affair.

"Oh." Quatre seemed troubled, likely thinking Heero had spent most of the day alone but then, Heero never minded spending the day alone.

"The girls all wanna go ta the bar tonight," Duo explained and after discussing it they decided to eat there before meeting the others at the bar. So they wandered upstairs and listened to the story of Quatre's day while dinner was fixed for them. Quatre's father joined them for dinner and once again Heero was hit with a pang of jealousy but he suffered it down because he just didn't want to feel that negativity after such a wonderful afternoon. He'd already dwelled on the subject of his own father enough for one day.

They piled into Duo's truck afterward and Heero sat in the middle, letting his hand rest up against Duo's thigh and Duo had smiled at him but didn't break stride in his conversation with Quatre.

Wufei, Sally, Trowa, Cathy, and Hilde were already at the bar when they showed up and had just ordered pitchers. The place was fairly busy considering it was a Thursday but then the crowd was mostly young, a lot of people in town for Spring Break - or rather a lot of people out with the few who managed to escape to get college educations and were back for one week only. A few old guys sat at the bar, glaring at the younger crowd, but otherwise the place seemed relatively normal. Not that Heero spent a majority of his time in bars, but certainly Duo had no reason to be concerned that he would judge him over it.

Quatre offered a polite and short explanation of his day and the others responded in kind until it was Heero and Duo's turn and Heero could tell they were all a bit skeptical by how remarkably brief Duo was but when they looked to him for an explanation he just shrugged and occupied himself with his beer.

Trant and Otto were there too with a guy named Alex and they came to say 'hi' - mostly to Hilde and Trowa - but Heero didn't miss the sneer exchanged between Alex and Duo. Luckily they were gone quickly and Duo returned to his pleasant disposition equally as fast.

Duo began to offer amusing back-stories about the people singing offensively off-key most of the time despite the passion and self-confidence they clearly displayed in their so-called abilities. But it was fun to banter back and forth about how bad they were and especially fun to see Quatre get upset and try to defend them for their effort.

They had just ordered another round of pitchers when Duo stood abruptly and walked towards the stage area as a girl was finishing up a poor rendition of a country song Heero didn't know. Unlike most of his predecessors, he didn't flip through the karaoke machine to select his song - instead he picked up a guitar sitting off to the side and tuned it quietly a moment. Heero watched the precision in his fingers and felt a hint of nervous apprehension. He had no idea what Duo intended to play or sing and for a selfish moment he hoped he wouldn't try to embarrass him.

When Duo took the stage he got an enthusiastic applause from their table as well as a few others, which made Heero feel a weird sense of pride. That attractive, talented, charming man up there was interested in him. Wanted him. It made his face feel hot and he gulped at his cool beer to try to counteract the sensation.

Duo cleared his throat and smiled at Heero for a moment, their eyes connecting, before his fingers brushed over the strings. A flush immediately colored his face as Duo's deep, mesmerizing voice belted out the lilting, romantic words.

"There's a reason for the sun shiny sky, and there's a reason why I'm feelin' so high, must be the season -"

Hilde grabbed Trowa's hand and winked at him, forcing him up to dance and Cathy followed suit with Quatre to save her brother the horrifying embarrassment of being up there all alone.

"So let that feelin' grab you deep inside and send you reelin' where your love can't hide -"

Sally watched on with amusement as other couples joined the dance floor but Wufei looked away and scowled into his drink. Heero gave him a pointed stare and jerked his eyes towards the other dancing couples but Wufei just glared back and gave the briefest, curtest shake of his head.

"Just let your love flow like a mountain stream and let your love grow with the smallest of dreams -"

Heero lifted his hand to rest on his chin and rubbed at his ring finger with his thumb, his action coupled with his eyes sending a clear message to Wufei. The other man glowered and shifted his glass a few times in frustration before he resigned himself to his fate, knowing Heero was right.

Sally's surprise when Wufei got her attention and asked her to dance was practically palpable.

"Let your love fly like a bird on the wing and let your love bind you to all living things and let your love shine and you'll know what I mean -"

Heero let himself smile a little smile now that the table was vacant as he watched Duo sing, the lights framing his handsome face, his long, calloused fingers quickly moving over the strings with confident caresses, his wonderful lips forming each word effortlessly as they spilled from his mouth in perfect tune.

"So let the wonder take you into space and lay you under its loving embrace, just feel the thunder as it warms your face -"

And Heero knew that he chose the song deliberately and he knew that it was for him and he knew what Duo meant by it. He knew it wasn't a love song for him - they only met five days ago, what they felt for one another couldn't be love. Infatuation? Maybe. Lust? Definitely. Affection? Sure. But not love.

No, Heero knew it was a continuation of their earlier conversation, a message between them to let go of his anger and pain, to move beyond it, to find contentment, joy, yes, love in everything. To be happy.

For a moment, staring up at the other man who exuded such an easy, fun attitude, who clearly enjoyed life, who went out of his way to try and make others happy without even knowing them, who could forgive even those who trespassed against him in the most painful of ways... For a moment, Heero wanted to be like that. He wanted to feel enough love to let it flow out of him, grow until he couldn't contain it any more, let it bind him to life and those around him. But while Duo smiled and made it seem so easy, Heero knew it wasn't. Not for someone like him. Not for someone who had denied it for so long.

But he didn't want to think about that. All he wanted to think about was Duo. All he wanted to do was memorize this moment as he had all the others so that when he went back to Ithaca he would have something nice to think about, to hold him up when things got rough, as inevitably they would.

"And let your love shine and you'll know what I mean, that's the reason."

Duo beamed at the wide array of claps and whistles he garnered from nearly everyone in the bar when he finished and he sunk into a little bow before returning the guitar to where he found it. Heero however heard Alex snigger something about fags to Trent and they both laughed. Anger roiled in his gut but he reined himself in and forced himself not to do anything - just sit and wait as his friends rejoined the table.

He reclaimed his beer and poked Heero in the shoulder playfully as the others praised his performance and Heero immediately let the overheard comment drop and returned Duo a small smile.

"You were really good."

Duo's smile widened noticeably at Heero's modest compliment but his eyes quickly darted off across the table to Wufei.

"I can't believe 'Fei danced!" Duo exclaimed and suddenly Wufei was the center of all attention as he fought to remain casual and not get flustered. Although Heero felt a little bad that he'd guilted Wufei into it only to see him getting called out about it after the fact, Sally's eyes shone when she looked at him so he knew he made the right call.

It wasn't more than another hour before someone at the bar got excessively rowdy and the cops were called, which is when Duo decided it was time to leave. Heero followed Duo to the truck while Quatre stayed inside a bit longer to say his goodbyes and they leaned against the bed waiting for him. They stared up at the stars and Duo laid his head against Heero's shoulder a moment. The buzz of the alcohol slipping through his system gave him the confidence to bring his arm around Duo's shoulders, holding him close.

"Where'dya find this one?" The angry voice made them fall apart quickly and turn to the owner who was clearly drunk although not drunk enough to be stumbling. Alex. There was another guy with him that Heero didn't recognize.

"Go back ta the city, fags," the other sneered. Heero noted the oversized rebel flag belt buckle and decided that figured. "This ain't no goddamned gay bar."

To Heero's horror Duo stepped forward diplomatically, placing himself between him and their two persecutors.

"Look, we are leaving, we're just waiting for Quatre to come out," he explained calmly and Alex laughed at the unfortunate wording.

"Bet Winner's gonna come out - always thought he was fuckin' you back in school."

Duo sighed and didn't bother to argue. "Just leave us alone, huh? You're drunk."

"What - you don't wanna show a real man a good time?" Alex taunted, taking a step forward. "I bet with your hair down you'd look just like a girl, you queer ass piece of shit."

And then he took another step and reached for Duo. Duo fell back but Heero didn't. He had watched the whole exchange with mounting fury and when Duo stepped back he saw his opening. He moved forward and threw a punch straight into Alex's face.

"Holy fuck!" Duo gasped in shock as Alex's eyes widened and he howled in pain, his hands clutching at his face as blood poured from his nose.

The other guy moved back and suddenly they heard an authoritative voice ring out across the parking lot.

"Hey! What's going on here?"

Duo grabbed Heero's hand with a wild laugh and jerked it hard towards the sidewalk.

"Run!" he shouted and Heero, still pissed and a little shocked but mostly confused, followed Duo down the street, back behind a run down apartment complex and into the trees. Branches smacked against him and his lungs burned from the unexpected activity and he felt disoriented as he tried to follow Duo's shadow through the thick undergrowth. He almost smashed right into him when Duo suddenly stopped after about ten minutes of tramping through the forest.

"Duo!" he hissed and Duo turned to look at him, panting and laughing at the same time.

"You fucking broke his nose!" Duo wheezed, doubling over with laughter and suddenly Heero was laughing too, not really sure why as he'd just broken a guy's nose and then ran from the cops but Duo was laughing and it was contagious.

And then Duo threw his arms around Heero's neck and kissed him square on the mouth, not giving either of them a moment to catch their breath so the kiss was one of breathless lust and Heero felt light headed as he tried desperately to suck in air around Duo's lips. Duo placed both his hands on Heero's cheeks, holding his head still as he gave up on the kiss and instead rested his forehead against Heero's, trying to catch his breath.

"No one has ever defended me before," Duo whispered with a little smirk. But his eyes held something else - something surprised and impressed and grateful.

"The cops...?"

Duo laughed and released his tight hold on him. "Fuck if Alex didn't deserve it. They know it. Mueller's such a pussy he'll prolly rat him out anyway. They'll get 'em cleaned up and off to the hospital and it won't matter. Tell him to stop harassin' people."

Heero didn't really feel much better about the situation but he assumed this wasn't the first time there was an altercation between Duo and Alex.

"This is why I didn't wanna go to the bar," Duo explained after a minute of awkward silence.

"Shit like this happens to you frequently?" Heero asked, surprised, rubbing his knuckles a bit though they didn't really hurt.

"Nah, not really, I don't usually put myself in that situation. I don't usually have a hot guy with his arm around me, either." Duo winked and Heero looked down at the leaves under his feet.

"Why didn't you hide it?" he asked suddenly, thinking back to Milliardo and how carefully he'd tried to hide everything about his sexuality.

Duo shrugged. "I was dumb. Didn't really realize it was somethin' bad til I hugged my middle school crush and he flipped out an' called me a sissy. But it's just how I am, yanno, you don't hide it so you must kinda understand, right?"

Heero supposed he did understand. He didn't go about shouting it from the rooftops but he also didn't feel the need to hide something that was a fundamental piece of who he was. But then he also didn't live in a small Southern town amongst a bunch of racist homophobes.

"Besides, I guess part 'a me hoped I would give someone else the confidence to come out if they were scared. They would know they wouldn't hafta be alone."

"But you had to be," Heero pointed out solemnly.

"Eh," Duo waved a hand like it was nothing. "I wouldn't change it."

"And it's not bad."

Duo blinked and tracked the conversation back. "Oh, yeah, I know. Just twelve year olds think it is."

"And twenty-two year old assholes," Heero added dryly and Duo chuckled.

"Yeah, them too."

Duo texted Quatre and they listened quietly for a little while to the sounds of the forest returning to normal and their own soft breathing before Duo decided enough time had passed and they were safe to return to the truck. Quatre about had a fit and lectured them both profusely until they pulled away from the bar and he broke into relieved giggles and told Heero he was impressed.

When Duo walked them to the door he called Heero back a moment and stood shyly in the portico light, hands stuffed into his pockets.

"Thanks, ya know, for everything, today."

Heero could've sworn he was blushing.

"You came to get me. I should be thanking you," he replied simply and Duo stared down at the ground and toed the stone of the entranceway. Heero felt confused, like Duo wanted something, but he wasn't sure what. He wracked his brain trying to think of anything he might've said or did but then Quatre saved him when he wandered back towards the front door to see what was keeping Heero.

"Give him a goodnight kiss!" he chided from down the hall. Heero felt like a complete idiot and he heard Quatre's laughter fade as he walked away to leave them in peace.

"I didn't, well, I mean -" Duo tried to think of something to say to redeem their wounded pride but Heero abruptly halted him, cupping his face in his hands and leaning in to willing press his lips against Duo's. Duo's body went slack under him as he took his hands from his pockets and wrapped them around Heero's neck.

He couldn't have thought of a better ending to a better day.

~ * ~

tbc...

Chapter 7

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