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"Seven Days of Spring Break "Written By: ELLE Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Gundam
Wing (unfortunately) and they were used without permission, but all
the words are my own. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: modern day AU, a little bit o' marijuana use, some m/m sex, light cursing, potentially triggering discussion of miscarriage, and a large bit of serious psychological, angsty stuff wrapped in a sappy sugar coating of good feels. Pairings: 1x2, past 6x1, previously unrequited
1x4, 5xS. Summary: Suffering from situational depression, Heero agrees to accompany his best friend and travel 900 miles to his hometown on their last spring break as undergrads. He didn't expect to meet a man who would make him question his very understanding of what it means to be happy.
"Seven Days of Spring Break " Wednesday | Day Five | Heero Hikes Back, Plays Volleyball, and Catches Fireflies
When Heero awoke his face was pressed up against something warm and dark. His mouth felt uncomfortably dry, his head ached a bit, and he was disoriented despite not being able to see anything. He shifted and an arm fell across his side and the warmth he was pressed into grumbled. He backed his head up and looked up at Duo's sleeping face, an orange cast to it as light shone through the tent, and last night tumbled back to him in a pleasant haze of toe curling kisses. He smiled and diffused it by pressing his face back into Duo's chest. Duo brought his hand back up and ruffled Heero's hair lazily. He heard the soft sounds of the others trapped in sleep and his heart felt full and happy. None of them had cared. He knew then that it was Milliardo who was the problem. It had never been about him or homosexuality or whatever ridiculous thing Milliardo lead him to believe. If these guys could accept it down here in the South where sexuality was a choice and marriage a so-called tradition simply because they were Duo's friends and friendship was more important than sexual orientation... Heero knew it had all been a lie. Thinking of his ex made him mad and he sighed huffily into Duo's chest. Duo chuckled and his hand shifted across his face to where it cupped his chin and he tilted his head up and kissed him lightly with closed lips. "Impatient!" Duo chided in a whisper and Heero's eyes widened and he shook his head when he realized that Duo thought his sigh was for his lack of attention. Duo's brows narrowed in confusion but he didn't risk waking the others up by asking so instead Duo just held him, his fingers playing in his hair, stroking across his back. The touch was kind and simple, held no lust or need beyond the comfort it provided. His eyes felt heavy against its power. He wondered if people touched this way all the time - people less guarded than him, people with families that cared, mothers who were still alive, friends who didn't fear you, lovers who didn't fear themselves. He awoke with a start, not even realizing he'd fallen back to sleep. Duo was no longer there and he stared across the empty space at Quatre's back. Amusement ghosted through him. Quatre was usually such an early riser. He was too for that matter. He supposed they had a good excuse. As quietly as possible he slipped out of the tent to take a piss and find Duo. He spotted Duo over the fire pit with Wufei watching him, talking softly. They both greeted his arrival with a smile and he smiled back a touch shyly now that he was facing the light of day. He sat down next to Wufei who handed him a bottle of water and some aspirin. Heero thanked him with surprise at the forethought. But then, Duo seemed to think of everything. Duo had stoked up the fire again and was mixing something together in an enamel Dutch oven. Heero was a bit shocked he'd packed something like that but then he remembered how Wufei told him he carried these aluminum benches one by one all the way out there by himself and just shook his head. "Duo is actually an excellent cook," Wufei offered as Duo stood and wiped his palms on his pants before joining them. "When ya like ta eat as much as I do you got two options - marry a chef or learn to cook." Duo shrugged and flashed a self-deprecating smile. "I live alone." Well, Heero wasn't much of a cook himself so he had nothing to volunteer. Instead he scratched at Bruno's head after the fuzzy lug came up and nuzzled his palm. "Sandy's always hadda thing for Q, but I think Bruno prefers you." For some reason, Duo's words made him feel funny and he stared down at the dog, embarrassed. Trowa appeared shortly thereafter and sat down next to Duo, pulling a cigarette from a busted pack in his back pocket and offering it to Duo. Duo hesitated, clearly conflicted, before Wufei cleared his throat and shot a cool glare at Trowa. Trowa angled his eyebrows down at his friend and there was a tense moment between the two before Duo stood and removed himself from the situation by grabbing the left over hotdogs from the cooler for the dogs. Heero wasn't sure what just happened and neither of the men he was with seemed ready to volunteer an explanation. Instead, Wufei started a conversation with him regarding sailing as he'd evidentially overheard Heero telling Duo about the things he did as a child. Wufei seemed truly interested in his exploits and the different cities he'd been to and he confessed his ancestors were junk builders in the early 1400's. Which then shot them off on a conversation about genealogy, an unexpected shared interest, and Heero found himself more deeply entrenched in conversation than he could ever remember being. He realized he really liked Wufei and his calm, intellectual nature, and that they had a lot in common despite being worlds apart regionally. Quatre wandered out at last and everyone got a good jab in at his expense since he was always promoting the early bird mantra. But he cheered up when he smelled whatever it was Duo was cooking and he insisted he just didn't want to have to wait for breakfast so why not sleep in? It turned out to be a hashed potato casserole with cheese and eggs and cubed ham and Heero felt somewhat skeptical about the eggs being as they'd been left out so long. But Trowa assured him that they were fresh farm eggs and had never been refrigerated, therefore, they could be left out for a week without spoiling. Though Heero had never been one to eat much amalgamated food, he found the flavors combined well and he enjoyed it quite a bit. He wondered what it would be like to have someone cook for him who wasn't paid to. Most of his life he grew up eating in cafeterias. Even his grandfather had a cook towards the end of his life. These meals he'd shared over the past few days had been the most normal meals he'd had in a long, long time. He wondered if this was what it felt like to have a family. As they finished and folded their paper plates to be trashed, after the dogs thoroughly licked them of course, Heero began to help Duo pack up the bags. They worked quietly as Trowa and Quatre folded the tent. When Wufei came back from washing out the Dutch oven in the river he handed it to Duo, but his face betrayed some inner turmoil and Duo accepted it cautiously. "Hey, 'Fei...?" he asked and Wufei looked at him a moment, and then back up at some distant point in space. "Can I tell you guys something?" he asked no one in particular and Heero realized both Quatre and Trowa were staring at his unusual behavior. "Sure man, what's up?" Duo replied curiously. Then a blush covered Wufei's dark face and he stared at the ground, shoving his hands deep in his pockets. "I think, at graduation, I'm going to ask Sally to marry me." There was a pause as the guys took in the information and then Duo let loose what only could be described as a squeal, scaring the dogs and probably all the birds in a twenty mile radius, before launching himself on Wufei and enfolding him in an impossibly tight hug. Then Quatre was moving towards him and he the threw his arms around both guys simultaneously with a big smile and an enthusiastic "congratulations!" Trowa stopped what he was doing and smiled at his friend, crossing his arms over his chest and appraising him coyly. "You know what they say about men who marry older women," Trowa teased as Duo and Quatre finally released him and Wufei blushed at the attention. "Aw I think it's great!" Duo exclaimed. "Sally is such a good match for you and obviously you guys make each other happy and you'd be a damned fool to let her walk out of your life." Heero watched, feeling a bit awkward to be involved in the friends' moment. "Do you want to see the ring?" Wufei asked hesitantly and Quatre nodded enthusiastically as Duo laughed and punched his arm. "You brought the ring all the way out here?!" Wufei blushed brilliantly. "I carry it with me everywhere since I bought it." "Christ, 'Fei, never figured ya for the sentimental type," Duo chuckled and Wufei pulled out the little black box. Trowa glanced over at Heero and shrugged and they both walked forward to look so as not to offend Wufei though he figured their combined understanding of engagement rings was about as deep as Duo's understanding of astrophysics. "Wow," Quatre breathed when the glittering princess-cut, split shank set solitaire was exposed and Duo took the box from him so that he and Quatre could inspect it closer at different angles. "Shit man, if she don't wanna wear this then she's crazy!" Duo bragged as he handed it back. Then he put a tender hand on Wufei's cheek, an action Heero was surprised he got away with, and said very seriously, "if she don't wanna marry you, then she's a helluva lot crazier than I thought when she came back with you in the first place." He winked and Wufei waved away his hand and shoved the ring back in his pocket. Then Quatre demanded a play by play of how he intended to propose as they packed up the rest of the stuff and re-hid the benches and Wufei stammered through his vague and hopeful plan so that they were all tramping back through the forest by the time he finished. Duo and Trowa led the way like last time and Quatre and Wufei continued their conversation for a while leaving Heero alone to think. He was glad for that as he watched Duo's back, braid swinging across his ass, and thought about yesterday and his bare chest and how his abs rippled into his boxers and he thought about how comforting holding his hand under the stars was and he thought about kissing him, how gentle and insistent he was, and the tremor that sped through his body every time their lips met. It was exciting and wonderful in a way that Milliardo hadn't been. Milliardo was thrilling and powerful and dangerous but Duo was caring and attentive and warm. It was strange, better. Easy. Undemanding. The trip down was a lot easier than the trip up and they broke through the tree line in a little over an hour. "Hey, we should invite the girls over for dinner," Quatre offered. They all had slept in and it was late, after noon, so dinner was the next meal they had to consider. "Yeah! And tell 'em to bring their swimsuits! I would love that hot tub right now," Duo agreed enthusiastically. Quatre laughed. "I've got swimsuits you guys can borrow." "Whadya think?" Duo asked the others as he let down the gate on the back of the truck and hopped in, accepting everyone's bags and arranging them in the back. "Sure," Trowa agreed and Wufei shrugged. His eyes landed on Heero's and he suddenly felt shy. It was stupid but he felt like if he said no, Duo would rearrange the whole day for him. But he didn't care, anything was fine with him, so he just nodded. "Great!" Duo jumped over the side and ushered the dogs in before Heero and Trowa climbed in as before and they were back on the road to Quatre's house. When they arrived the dogs were given bones and left to settle in the back yard after a few laps around the property. Heero retreated to his room as Quatre led the other guys up further to get them suits. He'd been warned of the pool before he left and therefore had the necessary attire but he threw a soft white undershirt on self-consciously and then in a fit of vanity stared at himself in the mirror. He studied his reflection carefully, shifting his hair over his eyes and rubbing the soft stubble on his chin. It wasn't something he often spent much time thinking about, but he wondered if he was attractive. He wondered if Duo thought he was. It seemed like it, but then maybe what he told Quatre was true. Maybe he was just desperate. Angry, he turned his eyes down to the sink and brushed his teeth. It was stupid. It didn't matter any way. He met the others downstairs on the patio and Duo was behind the bar making drinks with orange juice and tequila and grenadine. Trowa picked one up skeptically and Duo winked. "Fruity guys make fruity drinks," he explained and Trowa snorted. Once they all had drinks they settled into the hot tub despite how warm it was out already. Heero had felt Duo's eyes on his back as he peeled his shirt off and he felt uncomfortable sitting next to him. He didn't know what he wanted. He wished they had a moment to talk but he was afraid to talk, afraid of what he'd say or what he'd hear, so he tried to comfort himself with the knowledge that it was better this way. He drowned his drink fast and Duo pulled him out a beer from the ice bucket he'd prepared and handed it to him. Heero wanted to bury himself in alcohol but he stopped himself short. Then he felt Duo's hand as it sought his out and gripped it tightly under the water, hidden by the jets, and Duo smiled at him, a sweet smile, and Heero returned a small smile back. "I just heard from Cathy - they'll be heading over shortly," Trowa announced and set his phone back on the towel behind him. "Where were they?" Quatre asked. "They all rented a cabin," Wufei supplied. "There's a good idea for your bachelor party," Duo teased, setting down his drink and splashing Wufei playfully. "I'm not engaged yet!" he replied huffily but they laughed. "We're just 'scited for you Fei-Fei," Duo grinned. Wufei pinned him with a serious look. "Don't say anything to give it away," he warned and Duo looked personally offended. "On my honor!" Duo returned seriously, his hand over his heart. Wufei held his glare a moment longer before he let it go. Duo didn't drop his hand once as they talked easily until the girls showed up though he felt obliged to make them drinks as they cajoled and harassed them for getting started before they arrived. Heero watched Duo as he walked to the bar and felt a finger jab into his shoulder. He turned to face Quatre's knowing smile and he didn't know how to respond so he stared at his beer. Shortly after Jennifer brought out a spread of fruit and vegetables and other small snacks to hold them over until dinner and they all got out and Duo fixed more drinks and Quatre asked how the girl's stay at the cabin was. "It was great! But you know - girl talk stays amongst the girls...!" Cathy enthused with a wink. "I don't think I would've ever thought of it if Sally hadn't brought it up. You know how they are 'bout renting to us." Heero was confused but Trowa quietly explained that cabin owners didn't like to rent to people from the area because the assumption was they were just going to throw a huge party and get trashed and wreck the cabin. "Did you boys have a good time?" she asked back politely and even as Quatre and Wufei answered Heero and Duo's eyes met across the way and fell apart quickly, but the look wasn't unnoticed. "What, did you an' Heero get 'lost' in tha woods?" Hilde asked with an evil glint in her eyes and Duo fairly choked on his drink. "No!" he shot back furiously, seeming to be unable to combat Hilde's teasing the way he was able to blow off everyone else's. "Yeah, there was no 'getting lost' about it," Trowa joked back with a little self-satisfied smirk and Heero felt immediately overexposed as the girls' eyes swept over him and then to Duo, shock and curiosity obvious on their faces. Only Wufei seemed to be on their side as it was Quatre who spoke next. "Right! I never knew Heero was such a tiger," he teased, his tipsy state clearly doing nothing for his empathy, and if looks could kill Heero's would've struck his friend dead instantaneously. "It wasn't like that!" Wufei defended as eyes fell to him for his interpretation of the situation. "And frankly, if we don't get to know what you girls did, you don't deserve to know what we did." Sally's weren't the only set of eyes that widened at her boyfriend's awkward defense. "Christ, 'Fei! You make it sound like a goddamned orgy!" Duo groaned with a hand on his face. "We kissed a little, okay, Hil'? You satisfied? And maybe 'Ro was a bit more bold than he might've typically been but damn it, I don't see why it's everyone's business!" And then he picked Hilde up, hoisted her over his shoulder, marched away despite her loud and blatant protests, and threw her in the pool. "Anyone else wanna make sumthin' of it?" he asked with a grin, finally regaining a hold on his composure now that Hilde was officially trounced. "Or do we need'ta have a repeat performance so every damned Dick, Sue, and Mary can see?" "Duo -" Cathy started but Duo abruptly cut her off. "What was that Cathy?" he asked as he scoped her up into his arms then despite her disputes amid laughter that she wasn't going to harass him and he deposited her in the pool right next to Hilde. He stood with his hands on his hips over them, admonishing them for being terrible little lechers and suggesting they could just go find their own boyfriends to ogle if they were so desperate. And then the incident was over and despite the residual discomfort Heero felt he realized it was mostly internal and he fought to let it go. He knew there was a lot of shit he struggled to let go of thanks to Milliardo. Thanks to boarding school. Thanks to his father. Quatre ended up setting up a volleyball net and he volunteered to play with the girls so they had two even teams. Just like with everything they'd done so far this week, Duo seemed to have a natural prowess that made him shine in Heero's eyes. He seemed to move through the water far more easily than anyone else, deftly spiking the ball over the net even when the shot seemed nearly impossible. And despite all of that he also managed to flail and fall into Heero over and over again, in a variety of different exaggerated accidents, laughing and teasing every time much to Heero's chagrin and everyone else's amusement. But when he dragged him under the water he felt Heero's wrath as he yanked him down with him by his braid. They were a tangle of limbs and when they came up for breath, Heero wasn't sure if he was desperate for air because of being deprived it under water or because of Duo's body slipping wildly against his own. They showered before dinner and then ate steak and chicken shish kabobs and drank through Duo's repertoire of mixed drinks and sat together on the patio as the sky darkened, drunk and happy. Bruno laid his big furry head on Heero's feet and Duo let his fingers brush against Heero's where their hands dangled by the sides of their chairs, knuckles rubbing gently, finger tips touching finger tips. And he smiled at him with his glass to his lips, seeming at least equally as giddy as Heero felt. It was nearly dark when Heero stared into the tree line and caught a disturbingly familiar sight. Something he hadn't seen since that night, that night after they put her in the ground, and his fingers tightened into a fist. Little sparks dancing towards the sky, all the way across the tree line, as far as he could see. He remembered how mad his father was. He remembered how he was scared, scared to go home with him, alone, without her. Scared he would cry and his father would be angry and how was he supposed to not cry? But his grandfather protected him, let him prolong the inevitable, let him stay at his house that night and so they road together in his car through the countryside. Heero had never been there before, that far from the coast, but she wanted to be out there, amongst the hills, under the open sky. He remembered looking out the window over the fields at all those pinpricks of light like the stars had fallen to earth to greet her before carrying her to heaven and he sighed and thought it was sweet of them to do so. "Those are fireflies, Heero. Have you ever seen them before?" He shook his head. He shook his head when he was eight and he shook his head when he was twenty-two, ever so slightly, the memory leaving a visceral reaction in his muscles, in his bones. "That's how they talk to each other, glowing like that. A beautiful way to communicate, don't you think?" At the time, Heero wondered if he could shine a light to heaven and talk to her, now that she was there in the sky. But even then he knew that was stupid, hopeless. Angels didn't talk back to the people they'd left behind on Earth. Heero knew that. He was eight, after all. He was supposed to be a man. And he wasn't supposed to cry or believe in angels. "Hey, 'Ro...?" Duo asked softly and Heero turned his eyes towards the other man. "You catch 'em as a kid?" Heero's brows furrowed, perplexed. Catch them? It never occurred to Heero to try to catch a shooting star. But that was just the eight year old talking and he was a man now and he should shove the child back into the proverbial closet but he found it hard to be so cruel to himself, found it difficult to act as similarly as his father had when he dumped him at that boarding school. "Come on." Duo's kind smile was impossible to deny, so different from the calculating gleam his father employed as he left him there, scared, even though he smiled and said it would be fun. Duo set down his drink and stood, holding out a hand. Bruno's head lifted and Sandy trotted over to inspect her master's activity and Heero took the offered hand. Duo led him off to the trees amongst good-natured catcalls from their friends. The dogs rushed through the trees like quick moving shadows and Duo smiled as he cupped one of the small moving lights in his hands. He held it up to Heero's face and Heero could only see his excited eyes, shining in the dimness of dusk. The bug flashed as he eased his hands open and it crawled along his skin until it reached the crack between his thumbs, pausing to glow a moment before taking off slowly into the sky in its biologically dictated upward ascent. "What are they doing here?" Duo looked quizzical. "So you don't have them back home?" Home. Another word that puzzled Heero, another word destroyed by his father when he told him that the school was his home now. Heero wasn't sure to where was Duo referring or what his response should be. Ithaca? Maybe they had them, he wasn't sure, but Ithaca was only a place he lived for the time being. It hardly seemed like home. Boston? It hadn't been his home for so, so long he honestly didn't know. The Vineyard? No. There weren't fireflies there. There wasn't anything there, any more, now that his grandfather wasn't there. It wasn't his home any more than anywhere else might have been. He'd only seen them just that once, on that long, dark car ride with his grandfather, and he couldn't sleep, he just stared at them. And he had held on to that memory, stored it way in his heart so that he would never forget how the stars looked as they blanketed the Earth. But now it was like his heart was split open and the memory was spilling across the lawn and he couldn't stop it. And he trembled under the weight of the realization and he thought he might cry but he steeled himself and stared at the stars and he wasn't sure if he was looking at the sky or the ground. Men didn't cry. But his heart ached with the fullness of it and he thought it might burst if it already wasn't already split and leaking. "Home is wherever I carry you in my heart," he whispered, wondering if his heart was bright enough now that the light of the thousand fireflies stored in there was pouring through the crack and if it was maybe that light could reach into the sky so that they could see and they might know how much he loved them - even if they couldn't reply. "Heero?" Duo questioned carefully and he turned wet eyes to him. A painful smile eased onto his face but it only hurt because it took him so long to figure it out and he wondered if maybe soon it wouldn't hurt any more, now that he understood. "Yes," he answered, bringing a hand up to brush across Duo's cheek. "They've always been at home." Duo looked uncertain but he didn't say anything and Heero was grateful that Duo seemed to always know just what to do or say. He wished he could show Duo, explain what he should've known but only just realized, offer him the same salvation he'd just discovered but he didn't know how to express himself with clumsy, fumbling, indirect words and he hoped instead he might be able to communicate with light if only he could show Duo some piece of his heart. So he leaned in and kissed him then, gently, slowly, meaningfully, while wrapped in the comfort of the stars.
~ * ~ tbc... |
