|
"I Will Find You"Written By: ELLE Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Gundam
Wing (unfortunately) and they were used without permission, but all
the words are my own. Rating: R Warnings: modern day AU, angst, some foul language
Pairings: 1x2x1 with brief mention of 3xH, implied
5xC Summary: A series of intersecting vignettes back and forth through time documenting Heero and Duo's relationship before and after the apocalypse - including what lengths they'd go to in order to be together again. Author's Notes: I have been writing this since
July so I'm happy to finally have it done! This is what happens when
you get terribly distracted and real life bowls you over with unexpected
news. ;-P
"I Will Find You" 97 Days Until Last Communication
Duo had never been to Atlanta before and naively thought
this would be a fun trip for them – that they might stay at a
fancy hotel in the city and sight-see and eat at classy restaurants.
But Heero's constant preoccupation only became worse since they boarded
the flight and he seemed to totally forcibly block out every signal
and suggestion Duo threw at him. It put him in a foul mood. He understood
that Heero had a lot on his mind, but frankly he was getting tired
of being shoved out of the other man's reality in lieu of dark, unforeseeable
futures. Their shoes echoed on the tile but otherwise they were
completely silent as a woman with curled hair lead them back to a
room that looked surprisingly like a normal doctor's examination room
to Duo. Well, as far as the big, reclined patient chair, sink, cabinets,
rows of sterilizers and sharps containers were concerned – but
there was no out-dated wallpaper or poorly done watercolors of little
boats or flowers here. The sound of protective white paper being pulled down
over the beige vinyl was almost too loud in the little room. Quatre
had chosen to wait outside but Duo gave Heero a look that clearly
stated he did not want to be left alone here, with her, and Heero
noticed – for once – and complied. They stood there together,
trying not to seem nervous, not touching one another but unsure what
to do as she opened a hand-sized case she had been carrying, twisting
the lock combination and removing two vials. "Who wants to go first?" she asked with a
smile that seemed completely out of place and they exchanged another
look. Duo didn't want to be a pussy but the whole thing creeped him
out. The security measures, the way Heero was acting, Quatre's silence,
this woman and her weird little case of mystery vaccine – hell,
just being at the CDC in general where they housed disease of mass
destruction creeped him out. The rest was just messy icing on a poorly
constructed cake. "I will," Heero offered suddenly, breaking
eye contact and moving to hop up on the chair, rolling up his sleeve.
That was almost worse, Duo realized, his gut twisting a little as
he watched the man he loved submit himself to this shot first, for
him. "I'd give you a consent form but, you now, this
isn't technically legal," she joked but Duo didn't really appreciate
the reminder of that fact. "As with any vaccine, you may experience
soreness, redness, or swelling at the injection site. You may develop
a fever or rash. A few people have reported vomiting and diarrhea
twenty-four to forty-eight hours after injection, though this is uncommon."
She prepped Heero's arm with alcohol as she said this and then smiled
up at him. "I will give you my personal number. Please do
not hesitate to call me if either of you experience any symptoms or
have any follow-up questions." She turned then and prepped the
needle quickly, injecting it with clinical efficiency and Heero didn't
flinch. "One down," she announced cheerily as she
peeled a bandaid over the site and disposed of the needle, Heero rolling
down his sleeve. Their eyes met again for a minute and it was just like
when they signed those forms. Duo didn't feel right about it, but
Heero's eyes would impress upon him this need, this urgency and Duo
knew he didn't really have a choice. And Heero was probably right.
All the politicians he worked with got the vaccine, Quatre had gotten
it too, Quatre's family... Heero knew more about this than he did
and he'd already decided to trust him this far. So he traded places with Heero, sliding up his own sleeve,
submitting to the alcohol pad, the prick of the needle, and the burning
sensation down his arm. "When is this going to be available to the public?"
Duo asked as she turned to throw out the sharp and he pulled down
his sleeve. "Oh." She made a face then that wasn't particularly
encouraging. "With regulations and testing and lobbying... we
are predicting two or three years – hopefully. Though I doubt
we'll have to worry about it at that point." Then she shrugged
and rifled through her pockets for a business card, handing it to
Heero as Duo retook his place by his side. "You guys are lucky
to have friends in high places. I don't see too many civilians in
here." Duo frowned as she opened the door and motioned them
out, Quatre leading them back through the maze of halls to the exit.
But Duo's mind was still trapped in that room with her, repeating
her words over and over in his head. Though I doubt we'll have
to worry about it at that point. "Did she mean that this – whatever this is
– will happen before the vaccine is made public?" Duo hissed,
grabbing the back of Heero's shirt to get his attention. "It could happen at any time," Heero answered
stoically, no emotion what-so-ever, not even glancing back in his
direction so Duo turned to Quatre – but his face was equally
blank. "You just accept this? Are you doing nothing to
try to speed the process along? These are your constituents,"
Duo argued, trying to keep his voice down in the echoing hallways
but panic was rising quickly in his throat and it was difficult to
keep it down. "My hands are tied," Quatre returned calmly,
completely unperturbed. "I try to help by getting as many civilians
as I can in here. I don't like it, but that's all I can do." Duo gapped, feeling betrayed. He was no more important
than anyone else, certainly, and the whole situation was happenstance,
coincidence, they'd done nothing to deserve protection and more than
anyone else. It was wrong – on a global scale. Someone should
say something, do something, but neither of them seemed to care. He
couldn't just let it go. It wasn't in his nature to just let it go. "But if –" "Duo!" Heero cut him off immediately, sending
back a hard glare in his direction. Duo paused a moment and swallowed,
feeling like a child being scolded by the teacher. After that, Duo kept his mouth shut, and the ride back
to the hotel was miserable as Duo sulked, refusing to meet Heero's
eyes, frustrated that neither he nor Quatre them seemed to care that
people, a lot of people, could die. He still didn't really know if
he believed anything was going to happen, but Heero did, and clearly
Quatre did, and the doctor, and all of them seemed so damned complacent
and that wasn't Duo. He couldn't be okay with this. "Now that we've accomplished what we came here
for, we can go to that restaurant you wanted to go to last night,"
Heero offered but Duo just lay down on the bed, back facing his partner,
and closed his eyes, blocking out the room, wishing he could be anywhere
else other than there with him at that moment but there was nowhere
for him to go. "I don't really feel like it." He heard Heero
pause a minute, could feel his eyes on his back, then the soft rustle
of fabric as he began unbuttoning his shirt. "We could get room service, then," he offered
and Duo could practically hear the follow-up of 'I know you like that.'
Heero was trying but Duo was still pissed. He wasn't ready to forgive
Heero yet. He wanted an apology. He wanted to know that Heero felt
the same way he did. "I'm not hungry." Heero sighed at that but it was the truth. His stomach
felt sick and he just wanted to be left alone. "Don't be mad at me," Heero asked, a little
hint of desperation at the edges of his voice, and Duo felt the bed
shift as Heero's weight was added to it. "I'm just trying to
do the right thing for us." "I know," Duo groaned, that being the entire
issue. "For us." "That's all I can do," Heero said, sounding
frustrated and Duo felt a slight tug on his braid and knew Heero was
thumbing it, hesitant to actually reach out to him and touch him,
scared of his wrath but then still needing his reassurance. Duo turned over then and looked up at him, biting his
lip, feeling a little guilty at the sad look on Heero's face. Maybe
he judged Heero too harshly. Maybe Heero did care. Heero wasn't that
great at expressing his emotions, tended to bury them down where no
one could see them, use them against him, make him vulnerable and
sometimes it was hard for Duo to remember that – that just because
he didn't say it didn't mean he didn't feel it. "I know," Duo admitted with a sigh. "I
just – this all feels wrong. I feel guilty." "It might not happen," Heero offered somewhat
optimistically, but Duo knew that was only because he was thankful
for Duo's attempt at communicating and that Heero would say anything
to keep him from shutting down completely. "But you think it will," Duo replied and Heero
frowned. "I do." There was silence between them for a moment and Duo
fingered the edging of Heero's open shirt absently, not knowing what
to say, not knowing what Heero could say to make him feel better.
Really, there truly was nothing Heero could do. It wasn't fair to
hold that against him. "I wish Quatre had never said anything," Duo
muttered at last as Heero's hand covered his own, halting it, and
he released the soft linen of Heero's shirt. "But he did." Heero lifted his hand to his
lips, pressing the knuckles against soft flesh and staring down into
Duo's eyes honestly. "And I have to try to protect you." Heero moved his hand to his cheek and Duo watched as
he closed his eyes and nuzzled against his palm before lacing their
fingers together and leaning down to kiss him. "I don't know what I'd do without you," Heero
murmured against his lips and Duo couldn't be mad any more. He knew
intimately Heero's insecurities, his worries, and he opened his mouth
a little wider, encouraging Heero to kiss him a little deeper. He
slid his hand through his hair, lovingly cradling his head as they
kissed, telling him with his body that he knew, that he would always
be there, warm and tangible and his.
|
