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"Finding Myself"Written By: Eliza
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue, don't have any
money Warnings: um, sap,ooc(but for good reason),shameless
self insertion Pairings: None,
//Liz's thoughts//
Finding Myself Part 8 Standing in her office bathroom, Dr. E.M Blaine shook her head a rubbed impatiently at her eyes. //5 days, 6 hours and 47 minutes, and I still keep expecting Tk to call and say John’s come home// Raising dull weepy green eyes to the mirror over the sink Liz sighed softly and splashed her face with cold water. //But I suppose he’s already home.// John’s disappearance that night, had dampened all their spirits, and Liz’s mind told her that her friends were as affected as she was. The events that had happened two days later also serving to both frighten and deepen the sense of loss. Returning from work on the second day of John’s absence, she and Tk had entered the house, to find it in shambles. The appearance of a robbery was what the disarray had screamed, but the only things missing had been Tk’s manuscript, Liz’s sketch book, the box of black and white photo’s Hawk had taken with John in the picture and John’s black leather bound journal. Causing all of the girls to wonder silently to themselves, if John had returned to the house himself or sent someone to do it for him. The phone call two hours later, had shaken them, but answered some questions as well, a deep raspy voice, had told them that although their acceptance, care and protection of John was appreciated. They would be better off forgetting that they had ever seen or met him. Sadly they had all agreed that it was probably best to follow that advice. Though Liz had seen matching looks of ‘I’ll never truly forget’ echoing in both Tk and Hawk’s eyes, mimicking her own thoughts perfectly. Looking at her watch Liz shook her head, and dried her hands //Half an hour late on my rounds, people are going to think I’m slacking off.// turning back to her office, Liz stepped into the room coming face to face with a pair of cold, cobalt eyes, a mop of messy chocolate hair, and a gun pointed at her head. "Hello...John." her voice catching slightly on the name, Liz’s heart skipped a beat as a small flash of recognition, ghosted through those eyes she knew so well, and then disappeared behind a cold expressionless, mask. "Hnn." "Your files are in the third drawer," Liz’s voice shook as she tried so hard to remain detached, as she knew she should be, "and they’ve already been removed from the computer, feel free to check." A faint flash of surprised confusion, drifted across the young mans face before disappearing, a faint, "Nani?" escaping his lips in a voice that hadn’t changed except to become almost as emotionless as the eyes. "Hawk, Tk and I... we...we figured out that you want to disappear." Liz said quietly, her voice cracking with emotion, "we don’t know or understand why, but we know it’s something you have to do." A sharp emotionless nod was the only reply as ‘John’ tucked the gun away, pulled the files from the drawer and quickly checked the computer. Grunting softly in satisfaction, Heero walked out of the room without a backwards glance. Leaving Liz to whisper softly to empty space. "We’ll
miss you, John!" tears spilling down her face, Liz covered her
face with her hands and sank into the nearest chair. Waking in a hotel room with a fussing braided Baka, had been one of the strangest occurrences of his life. For a moment two sets of memories warred in the fore ground of his mind. Scenes of war intermingled with scenes of friendly laughter. Faces of four boys, he’d fought beside mixed with the faces of three girls, he’d laughed with and teased. With great effort the soldier came forward, efficiently sorting the two sets of memories into two separate spaces. Banishing the girls into a small dark recess of his mind and pushing the four boys to the foreground. Opening his eyes, he’d looked around the room, to find Trowa sitting in a chair by the bed, seemingly unaffected by Duo’s ramblings and fussing. "Hnn, how long?" "hey hee-chan, welcome back." Duo had bounced across the room and placed a friendly concerned hand on Heero’s forehead, earning a trade mark death glare, from the wing pilot. Backing off Duo grinned maniacally. "Looks like he’s back to normal, hey Tro?" but Heero had caught the small flash of hurt that flashed through the expressive violet eyes. ***Work first, play later duo-koi.*** a small barely noticeable smirk, tilted the corners of Heero’s mouth as he turned questioning eyes to Trowa. A pufunctuary nod and Trowa regarded Heero with an emotionless gaze, "two days." Was the expressionless, and short reply in answer to Heero’s earlier question. A quick nod and Heero sat up. "Whoa Heero, ya should take it easy." Duo growled softly, "sides, we got loads to tell ya, so ya may as well stay put for now." A firm but friendly hand pushed Heero back against the pillows as Duo sat down on the edge of the bed. Glaring dangerously, more out of habit then necessity, Heero pinned Duo with an ‘I’m going to kill you’ look that had the braided American backing off only slightly. "Hnn, need to eliminate the people who can identify me." Cold and emotionless on the outside, Heero felt his heart clench tightly at the thought of causing harm to the three girls who’d cared for him. ***Must be a way to avoid that, there has to be.*** facial expression betraying none of his inner turmoil, Heero listen quietly as the braided Baka, babbled on about how they’d tracked him down, and what had been happening while he was gone. All the while going over in his mind the objects and ways he could erase his presence from the town and the life of the three girls, who had helped him, without compromising the groups security, but still leaving the girls to live their lives. A box being placed on his lap, had caused an upward quirking of his eyebrow. Which had prompted a quiet chuckle from Duo. "We returned to the house, the girls were at work." Came the calmly detached statement from Trowa. Duo nodded, "we made it look like the place had been robbed, and took anything they had that could be connected to you." He said lightly, giving Heero a small mischief filled smile. "But we left, breaking into the hospital to remove your records for you to take care of." "Baka!" the statement came from his lips without
conscious thought, but the tone, had been light, and almost friendly,
causing a surprised look to flash on Duo’s face. Heero smiled
inwardly ***a lot has changed, Duo. A lot has changed*** Heero sat on his bed, in the newest safe house. The box of things Duo and Trowa had collect sitting in front of him, he’d refused to open it then, and now sat staring at with an unaccustomed feeling of trepidation. Steeling his resolve Heero opened the box laying on the very top was a picture of the three girls and him sitting on the sofa, making faces at the camera. A faint smile teased Heero’s lips as he lifted the pictures and shuffled through them, placing the pictures to one side, he lifted out the next item. ***Liz’s sketchbook*** his mind made the connection as he began flipping through the pages, ***a talented artist with the heart of an angel*** he thought silently, placing the sketch book aside, he pulled out a binder, opening the cover, the title page caught his eye, the elegantly flowing handwriting recognized almost immediately. ***Tk’s manuscript.*** turning the page Heero began to read. Two hours later Heero stretched, and looked back at the binder, now sitting with the other objects from the box. The story both compelling and more truthful then anyone would ever know. Picking up all of the items, he began to replace them in the box and paused, as the final item caught his attention. Setting the pile of items aside once again he picked up the leather journal and stared at it for a long moment. ***The memories of a person, I never was and can never be.*** Heero frowned slightly as he opened the book and began to read. Finishing the journal quickly, mind remembering vividly each of the events recorded with a clarity that surprised him, Heero stared at the journal for a long moment, before picking up the pen, and turning to the next blank page. Half an hour later Heero laid the pen aside with a small
smile. Returning the items to the box, and placing it under his arm
he left the room in silence. |
