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" Nobody Wants to be Lonely" Written By: Deathangelgw Disclaimer: The boys aren’t mine and neither are the lyrics. So no sue. Warnings: AU, PWP, POV, lemon, songfic, sap, angst, and yaoi. Rating: NC-17 Pairings: 3x4 Note: This is my first shot at a 3x4! My god…with all the lemons I’ve written ya’d think I’dve done this one! *falls over* This is also dedicated to my dear friend, MA. She’s been begging for this for a while. Sorry it took so long! Archive: hmm Feedback: very nice thanks! /lyrics/
Author: Deathangelgw I watch you silently as you laugh with Duo on one of his jokes. But…I can see that your smile doesn’t reach your eyes. Your eyes…they’re so cold now. They’ve lost that light that used to shine from them. Sweet one…has war killed so much in you now? I walk you back to your apartment. You are so polite…you ask me in, trusting me so willingly even though you have been hurt so much. I wish there were some way for me to tell you how I feel. Maybe my love could bring back that light into your eyes. /There you are In a darkened room. You are all alone Looking out the window./ We talk for a while, sipping on some of your stash of tea. It was always a joke between us that you hid the tea whenever Wufei came around, but now it is a dim shade of past humor and happiness. You must be restless this night…or maybe my quietness is such that you need to move, for suddenly you are looking out the window. The wind howls outside, blowing the branches into the windowpane as you watch the incoming storm. I watch you silently, taking in your silent figure as you watch the approaching gale. Does the storm mirror what is inside you? Or does it bring you comfort? I have often wondered this as I watched you, but none more so than tonight. You’re whole demeanor is like darkness, so filled with sorrow and loneliness that I feel myself reaching out to you. But I stop. /Your heart is cold And lost the will to love Like a broken arrow./ I want to hold you, comfort you, give you all of the love that you have been searching for. But, I always hesitate. Am I afraid? Perhaps. Perhaps I am afraid that I am too late. You are so empty sweet Quatre. It is like every time you killed, something inside of you died with that person. Just as it did to me all those years ago. /Here I stand in the shadows Come to me Come to me Can’t you see that./ I wish I knew what I could do. You have given me so much, sweet Quatre. Your bright smile and loving heart were what drew me to you. But…I am afraid. I am afraid that I will break you, hurt you with my coldness and emptiness. But now I see you, standing by that window, watching the wind, and I fear that I may be too late. You gave everything within you to protect others. I…was just a soldier, fighting because it was orders. I never knew anything else. Until I met you. /Nobody wants to be lonely. Nobody wants to cry. My body’s longing to hold you. So bad it hurts inside./ No one had ever smiled at me like you did. It was always so full of life and radiance. I was always afraid I was going to snuff out that radiance with my black soul. But you must have seen differently, for you never gave up trying to let me know what life could really be like. But now, I find that it is I who am trying to revive you. You dated somewhat after the war. Duo and you looked quite cute together, though it is hard to say that. I thought that maybe, his love of life would revive you. It didn’t, did it Quatre? I remember how you would tell me how lonely you felt when you were with him. I think that Duo finally gave up, though I am glad to see that you and he are still friends. But, you are so empty little one. Why? /Time is precious and it’s slipping away And I’ve been waiting for you all my life. Nobody wants to be lonely so why Why don’t you let me love you?/ My thoughts always return to this. Do you sense them? Perhaps you do. I find myself looking into your empty aquamarine eyes and my heart breaks. Oh Quatre. What have we done to your sweet soul? You don’t answer me. How could you since I have not asked. But, it is there in front of me. The pain, the emptiness, the cold reality. My god, Quatre. You have become me. /Do you hear my voice Do you hear my song It’s a serenade So your heart can find me./ You had once told me, way back when we had first met, that love and life are connected. They are what bind all of us together. And that was why you were fighting. I didn’t understand then. But now…I do. I stand up, facing you. I see surprise within your eyes. Does my face show what I feel for you? How can I get you to see sweet Quatre? Without love…there is no life. And without life… There is no love. /And suddenly you’re flying down the stairs Into my arms baby. Before I start going crazy Run to me Run to me Cuz I’m dying./ You were the only one to ever really care about me. You went out of your way to either say hello…or to protect me. I always wondered why you did what you did. But now I know. It was love. And it is with a love that I now want to return that I take that courage to hold you. But am I in time? I look into your eyes as I come to you. You don’t move confusion clear in your eyes. All these years and I have yet to act anything but stoic. Oh my Quatre…. Forgive this foolish soldier. We stare into each other’s eyes for a few minutes, and then I surprise even myself. I feel a single tear roll down my face, coursing a soft trail down my cheek. You watch it roll down, but I make no move to stop it. Your soft gentle hand comes up and I lean into your touch, asking you to take away the sign of pain. Then, I smile. You are crying as well. /Nobody wants to be lonely Nobody wants to cry My body’s longing to hold you So bad it hurts inside./ I wipe your tears away, your name on my lips as I smile at you. You blink in wonder, confusion so clear that I feel my heart break even more. Has it been so long since you let yourself feel? How can I, someone who has lost the joy of feelings, show you how loved you are? I’ m not sure how…but then I remember what Heero had said to me one time. ‘Live by your emotions.’ Slowly, I find myself moving forward and I take you into my arms, holding you close. You bury your face into my chest. "Let it out, my angel." I whisper that so softly that I almost didn’t realize I had said it. You look up at me, your heart and soul so plain to me that I realize that the cold mask was just that…a mask. Slowly, so slowly, my lips seek out yours and finally….everything is clear. /Time is precious and it’s slipping away And I’ve been waiting for you all of my life. Nobody wants to be lonely so why Why don’t you let me love you?/ Your ferocity surprises me as you return my kiss hard. I pull you to me, needing to feel you close to me as our tongues meet for the first time in a battle that is more fierce than anything we’ve ever fought. We pull back and our gazes meet again, searching for answers to questions we both can’t express. Finally, I know what I need to say. "Quatre…let me love you? Let me love that angel that is there within you? Let us heal?" Your eyes…they fill with tears. Did I say the right thing? I must have, for suddenly you are kissing me so hard I can’t breath. My soul smiles in joy and soon, we are in your room, clothes strewn all over the room as we scramble onto the bed and lock lips and bodies again. /I wanna feel you need me Just like the air you’re breathin’ I need you here in my life Don’t walk away Don’t walk away Don’t walk away Don’t walk away, no/ You are such a vision to watch, your body arching into my touch as we move together, teasing each other. You plead with me softly for release, asking me in such a way to fill you that I cannot resist. As we become one, I am once more amazed at you. Your beauty is such that it is innocence in itself, yet so wanton and lustful that it shows a side unlike anything I ever knew. Filling you fills something within myself and I find myself near tears at the sheer bliss. As we move towards that inevitable edge, I whisper my love for you, trying to fulfill every request you make of you. Soon, even tender thoughts fled in that climax that shatters all reason. Filling you with my essence and feeling your passion across my stomach fills me with such joy that I am overwhelmed. Finally, we are one….my beloved. /Nobody wants to be lonely Nobody wants to cry./ As I hold you close to me in the after shocks of our lovemaking, you ask me a simple question. "Why?" I find myself searching my heart and soul for an answer, but it was so easy to find because it was right in front of me. /Nobody wants to be lonely Nobody wants to cry My body’s longing to hold you So bad it hurts inside./ "Because….you don’t need to know what loneliness and emptiness is. You don’t deserve it. And…" I find my voice failing for a minute. How do I say what my heart is longing to say. But you must know what I want to say. You lean up and look into my eyes, a soft serene smile playing on your lips as you say what my heart has been trying to say for so long. /Time is precious and it’s slipping away And I’ve been waiting for you all of my life. Nobody wants to be lonely so why Why don’t you let me love you?/ "I love you…my Trowa." Owari.
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