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"The Road Not Taken"Written By: Clara Barton Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing. The following
is an intellectual exercise with no intention of profit. That said,
these characterizations, words, and situations are mine. Please ask
before reprinting. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: angst, language, yaoi Pairings: 2x3, 1x5, 3x4, past 1x3 Summary: Sometimes we live our lives following one road because we never consider another. Trowa Barton has the misfortune to answer the classified of a straight Duo Maxwell. Thanks as always to the always fabulous Cuzo
for being my beta! "The Road Not Taken " Chapter 14 As the lights dimmed on the stage for the final time, Duo surged to his feet, ready to offer a standing ovation to the cast of The Tempest. He had never seen a better production, he decided - not that he had seen The Tempest all that often, just twice before - but this had been incredible. Trowa had told him he would enjoy it, and Trowa had been right. Wufei, as Caliban had been absolutely devastating - evil and twisted but vulnerable in a way that made Duo hate his fate. Even Quatre as Ariel had been great and Duo could see what it was about the blonde man that had drawn Trowa in. When Quatre smiled, even when he was acting, it was as if the entire room lit up. His blue eyes sparkled with mischief and joy and his entire being seemed to vibrate with energy. It was intoxicating. No wonder Trowa had been willing to be his long term one night stand. Duo looked beside him, wanting to look at Trowa's face and see what he had thought of the performance, but Trowa was slumped back in his chair, his right hand propping up his head and his eyes were closed. He was asleep. Duo choked on a laugh. It wasn't that funny, considering the week he knew Trowa had had, but it was comical to see Trowa sleeping through the thunderous applause on opening night. He reached over and gently nudged him and Trowa snapped awake, a wild look in his eyes. "Show's over," Duo told him. Trowa rubbed his eyes and then looked around, taking in the audience as they started to trickle out of the theatre. "Shit. I think I slept through the entire thing." "Don't worry. Wufei only forgot two lines and only one person fell down the trap accidently." Trowa was clearly exhausted - his eyes widened for a moment before he realized Duo was only joking and then he relaxed back in his seat. "You shouldn't do that to me, I'm so tired I'm practically delusional at this point." "Clearly." Duo sat back down beside him and Trowa actually shifted so that he was resting his head on Duo's shoulder. "You going to make it through drinks at the bar?" "I might have to do a shot or two," Trowa mumbled, already sounding on the verge of sleep again. "I've never seen you do shots," Duo realized and wondered what Trowa would be like after a few tequila shots. "Are you planning on getting me drunk and taking advantage of me?" Trowa asked. "Yep," Duo assured him. He let Trowa drift for a few more minutes. They were in no rush to leave - considering the amount of makeup Wufei had been wearing Duo was willing to bet it would be close to half an hour before he met them at the bar. "I'm sorry your week was complete hell," Duo told him. He kissed the top of Trowa's head. "But the show looked amazing." "Considering the fact that I've had four hours of sleep since Saturday it had better look amazing," Trowa grumbled. On Sunday morning Trowa had been woken up at eight in the morning by a phone call from the stage manager for the shower - an air conditioning unit over the stage had broken and dozens of gallons of water and coolant had been dumped all over the stage, destroying most of the scenery. It was a freak accident, and as Trowa told Duo what had happened he had been sure that Trowa was making it up - but he hadn't been. Duo followed him to the theatre and had been completely baffled by the standing water onstage, the wilting scenery and the running paint. It had taken most of the day on Sunday to sort through the mess, and Duo had stuck around to help. By the time the cast arrived for their scheduled rehearsal at noon the stage was almost completely empty. Some of the actors had gone home, but a handful, including Wufei and Quatre, had stuck around and helped. At one point Duo had found himself actually working side by side with Quatre to haul useless scenery to the dumpster and it had been strange, working in companionable silence with someone he would just as soon not see again. By the time Duo left the theatre that night, Trowa, Heero and a crew of carpenters and electricians were gathered around a table, drawing and planning frantically for how to salvage the show. Trowa had worked through the entire night on Sunday and Monday, only taking a few hours break on Tuesday night to rest while paint dried, before starting again and working all the way up until only an hour before the show opened on Wednesday. Duo had come by to help on each of those days, but found that his limited skills made him more of a liability than anything else - so he came by every few hours with coffee and donuts and stuck around to clean or base coat things. They had skipped dinner that night so that Trowa could go home and shower, and when Duo had met him at the theatre he had been struck by how incredibly exhausted Trowa looked. As he watched the show, Duo had been almost awestruck - it was crazy to think that Trowa and the others had managed to create such amazing scenery in only a handful of days when before it had taken them weeks of planning and construction. "You know, you're kind of amazing," Duo told Trowa and nudged him awake again. "But if we don't head towards the bar now I'm probably going to have to carry you home." "You might have to do that anyway," Trowa told him around a yawn. "Come on - let's get a few shots into you. And if you promise to stay awake for at least fifteen minutes, I'll tuck you in later." Duo smirked at him and Trowa chuckled. "So you are planning on taking advantage of me." "Oh yeah - I already admitted that. But I'm thinking my dastardly plans might have to wait a night or two - the only thing you're going to be doing in a bed tonight is sleeping." "Did you just say dastardly?" "Uh huh." Trowa nodded and finally stood up. "Next thing I know you're going to be plotting to 'steal my innocence' and 'ravish me senseless.'" "Oh, those plots are definitely already in place," Duo assured him. The walk to the bar was pleasant despite the heat of late July. It was after ten at night, but the Atlanta streets were still baking with the sun's heat from early in the day. Still, Duo enjoyed the sedate walk, the way his shoulder bumped against Trowa's and the feel of Trowa's long fingers brushing against his own. It left him in a state of low, burning arousal and even though he knew Trowa wasn't going to be up for anything tonight, it still felt good. The bar was louder than usual - clearly everyone in the show was nearly as exhausted as Trowa and they seemed to be celebrating with the kind of mania that only came from days without sleep. Duo spotted Wufei, Heero and Catharine at their usual table and nudged Trowa in their direction. "Go ahead - I'll grab a few shots for you and some beers. Don't fall asleep." Trowa rolled his eyes but left him to go sit with the others. Duo wove his way through the crowd and up to the bar. When he finally had the bartender's attention he ordered five tequila shots and two Shock Tops. As he waited he looked around, taking in the tired, smiling faces of the company. In some ways he envied Trowa for this - Duo loved history, he loved research and he loved to write, but there was something to be said for the kind of camaraderie that came from working together to create. "You're just not going to go away, are you?" Duo turned at the voice and saw Quatre leaning against the bar beside him. "I hadn't planned on it, no," Duo replied. Quatre scowled. "I'd really like to hate you," Quatre muttered, "but you don't make it easy." Duo snorted. "Right back at you. You're an asshole - but... Trowa's incredible. I get it. I get why you tried to scare me off." Quatre sighed. "Can't you just... act jealous or insecure or something? You really don't care at all that I work with him - that he could be hooking up with me and you'd never even know?" Duo frowned. "I care - I'd sure as shit care if he was hooking up with you and lying to me, but he's not. If he wanted to be with you, then he wouldn't be with me." Duo shrugged. "I trust him." Quatre arched an eyebrow, an expression that Duo had seen on Trowa's face often enough that he wondered if Quatre had learned it from him. "You trust him? Even after what he did to -" Quatre stopped himself suddenly. "Even after?" Duo prompted. Quatre gave him a long, level look. "You really love him?" Duo frowned, confused by this change in conversation. "Yeah? Of course I do." "Of course," Quatre echoed, a slight, bitter edge to his voice. He shook his head. "It's nothing. I'm..." Quatre shrugged. "I guess you win." "I don't think it's a competition," Duo said. "No," Quatre agreed with a sigh, "but all the same. Take care of him." The bartender produced a small tray of full shot glasses and two beers. Duo paid for the drinks and started to leave, but then he stopped and turned back to Quatre. "You were great tonight, by the way." Quatre smirked. "Thank you. Did Trowa enjoy the show?" Duo snorted. "He enjoyed the back of his eyelids." Quatre chuckled and Duo had to wonder, if they had met under different circumstances, would they have become friends? "Make sure he finally gets some sleep." "I will." Duo made his way back to Trowa and the others, who were in the middle of retelling some story from the last time they had experienced a disaster of this magnitude. He passed a shot to each of them before setting down the beers in front of Trowa and himself. "Here's to you guys making a miracle happen," he said and saluted them with the shot glass. "With your help," Trowa said. The others nodded and they all downed the tequila. "God, I am not young enough to deal with shit like this anymore," Trowa griped. Heero nodded in agreement but Wufei smirked. "Feeling your age creep up on you?" Wufei taunted them. "Maybe that's why they went for our young, handsome, insatiable selves." He nodded at Duo. Heero snorted. "Wufei, you are nine months younger than me. Don't put me in the same category as that cradle robber over there." Trowa scowled. "I robbed nothing," Trowa argued. "He's the one with dastardly plans." Duo had to chuckle at the looks on everyone else's faces. "You're goofy when you don't sleep, did you know that?" He told Trowa, who just smirked back at him, tired but happy. "But speaking of young, handsome, insatiable guys like Wufei and myself," Duo said, earning a nod of approval from Wufei, "how did you two meet?" "Heero and I?" Duo nodded. "Yeah. You all seem to know each other pretty well - did you go to school together or...?" Wufei shrugged. "We've worked together for years now, and while we don't normally spend four days locked in a building together, we do spend a lot of time together," Wufei said. "But no, we didn't go to school together." He looked over at Heero. "I think... was it Henry V?" Heero nodded, a smirk on his face. "You were just in the chorus and you were so full of yourself and so pissed at being overlooked for Gloucester." Wufei sighed and nodded. "True. I'm still pissed about that." He shrugged. "Anyway, Heero designed the lights and he made some snotty comment about the Star Wars shirt I wore to a tech rehearsal -" "It was not a snotty comment. I pointed out that the explosion of the Death Star on it didn't make any sense -" "Because there isn't enough oxygen in space for that kind of explosion, yeah, yeah, I know." Wufei looked at Duo and rolled his eyes. "No imagination." Duo felt his lips twitch. He imagined that this was fairly typical of the conversations between Heero and Wufei. "Wait, that's not how you two first met," Catharine spoke up. "You met years before that - I remember introducing you two during Noises Off." Heero shrugged. "Yes, but I think Duo was asking how we met in the context of how we started dating." "But you knew each other for years before you started dating? What, it took you that long to fight about Star Wars and realize you were crazy?" Heero shrugged again. "Trowa and I were still together when I first met Wufei," he said, his voice neutral. "Oh." Duo looked over at Trowa and saw that he was alert for perhaps the first time that night, a slight frown on his face. It made sense, Duo realized, that Trowa and Heero had dated. It was clear they were more than just old friends - they acted towards each other in ways that often reminded Duo of the way he and Hilde interacted. It was clear they had a close, intimate history that went beyond friendship. He wondered why Trowa had never said anything to him about that. He also had to wonder why they had broken up - thinking about it, Trowa and Heero seemed nearly perfect for each other - they were both quiet, smart, funny, hard working, handsome. Heero was clearly someone who believed in long term, committed relationships - he was engaged to Wufei and the two were in the process of adopting children. Heero seemed like everything Trowa could want in a partner. "Well," Cathy spoke up into the strange, tense silence that had fallen, "I think I'll head home and finally spend some quality time with my bed. Great work everyone." "Maybe we should do the same," Wufei said, giving Heero a significant look. Heero looked over at Trowa, searching his face for something, and Trowa shrugged one shoulder. "Sure. I'm guessing you want to skip our run tomorrow morning?" Trowa nodded. "Yeah, but I'll see you on Friday?" Heero nodded and he stood up. "Good seeing you again," he said to Duo. "Yeah... uh, same to you." As Heero and Wufei left Duo couldn't help but feel like he was missing something - something big. "So that was awkward," he said once they were alone. "I'm sorry," Trowa sighed. Duo shrugged. "I dunno, I feel like it was my fault." "No, it wasn't you. It was me." Trowa tossed back the last of his beer and gave Duo a look that could only be described as resigned. "Can we go?" "Sure." Duo finished his own beer and felt a growing sense of dread. What the hell was going on? "Um... my place or yours?" Trowa gave him a bitter smirk. "Probably both." "Okay..." Duo followed Trowa outside and they walked back towards the theatre and the parking lot in silence. By the time they reached Trowa's car Duo was wondering if he was about to get dumped. Again. "Tro, what the hell is going on, man?" Trowa sighed and looked at him for a long, silent moment. "I should have told you, about Heero and me." Duo shrugged. "It would have been nice to know, but... it's not like I've told you about everyone I've ever dated." Trowa sighed. "I should have told you about Heero, though." "Okay. I don't think it's that big of a deal, though - I'm not angry or anything." He wondered if Trowa was legitimately tired past the point of coherent thought. Duo didn't think he was acting upset about this, but maybe Trowa thought he was? "Look, if you want, we can exchange an entire list of people we've dated - but maybe some other time? I really think you could do with a decent night's sleep." "I cheated on him, with Quatre." It took several moments for Duo to process that. "Oh." -o- "You're alive." It wasn't their usual greeting, but considering how Trowa felt, he didn't blame Heero for saying that when he met up with him at the park on Friday morning for their run. "Of course I'm alive." Heero nodded cautiously. "And clearly thrilled to be that way." Trowa glared at him. "I take it you finally told him," Heero said. "Can we just run and not treat this like a therapy session?" Trowa snapped. Heero shrugged but he turned on his heel and started to run. Feeling like an ass, Trowa followed behind, and with each impact of his feet on the dirt path he felt like even more of an ass. On Wednesday night, after he had told Duo about Quatre, the younger man had seemed completely at a loss for words. They had stared at each other for a few minutes, and then Duo had suggested Trowa go home and get some sleep. It was the last he had spoken to him. Trowa had waited all day yesterday for something - a text, a phone call - but Duo had remained distant and silent. Trowa couldn't blame him. "For fuck's sake." Heero came to a sudden, abrupt stop after only two miles and Trowa stumbled into him. "What?" "You're an idiot," Heero said, a furious look on his face. "I think you've mentioned that before, once or twice," Trowa muttered. "Because you are," Heero practically growled. Trowa sighed. "Yeah, I know." "So what are you going to do about it?" "What the hell can I do? I fucked up - I fucked up years ago and it ruined us and now it's ruined what Duo and I had. I'm an idiot. I agree." Heero shook his head. "That's not the part that makes you an idiot. This is - you just giving up." "I'm not giving up. I'm accepting the fact that he deserves someone better. You did too - and you found him." "You are so full of shit. You're telling me that if the next time you see Duo and he's with another guy - you'd be okay with that?" "No." In fact, the mental image twisted something deep inside of Trowa. He would definitely not be okay with that. He didn't think he could stand to see Duo smirk at someone else, or quote Shakespeare or flirt with someone - he couldn't even think about what it would feel like to see Duo kiss someone else. "So do something about it!" "What? What the hell can I do? I cheated on you, Heero! I lied to you and I threw away years of happiness because Quatre flirted with me. I can't change that and what the hell am I supposed to tell Duo? That it was one time - one fucking mistake - and I'll never do it again?" "Yes. That's exactly what you tell him." Trowa glared at him. "Why would he even believe me?" "So you're just going to walk away, because you're afraid he won't believe you?" Trowa swallowed. "You think I'm a coward." Heero shrugged. "I think you're an idiot. Are you going to cheat on him?" "I didn't plan to cheat on you," Trowa pointed out. "But?" Heero prompted. "No. I'm not going to cheat on him. I -" Trowa didn't quite know how to put his thoughts into words. Duo was different than anyone he had ever been with - and he was the only person Trowa wanted to be with. Duo challenged him and inspired him in ways that Trowa had never before experienced. "So tell him that." "Because it's that easy?" Trowa snarled. Heero shrugged. "It can be." Trowa sighed. "And if he tells me to go screw myself?" "Then I'll buy you a drink and start looking in the classifieds for you again." Trowa glared at him. "Isn't he worth risking it?" Trowa sighed. "Of course he is." "Then do something about it." "Are you... actually giving me a way out of this run?" Heero glared at him. "This one time," he said and held up a finger in warning. Trowa wasn't entirely sure what he was going to do next, but he figured a shower was a good first step. This wasn't some romantic comedy - he couldn't show up on Duo's doorstep covered in sweat and expect Duo to just fall into his arms. By the time he arrived back at his apartment his plans still hadn't progressed much further than a shower - he figured it would be safer to just call Duo before he showed up, but at the same time, if this was going to be his last chance to talk to Duo, he would rather do it in person. "Duo?" As he opened the door to his apartment he saw the other man sitting on his couch. Duo jumped up instantly. "I, uh, I still had your spare key." He held it up as proof. Trowa had given him the key on Monday when Duo offered to run over to his apartment and get a fresh set of clothes for him. "Right." They stood there awkwardly, staring at each other. "Can I ask you something?" Duo spoke up. "Of course." Duo drew in a deep breath, clearly trying to work himself up to his question. "Was it worth it? "No," Trowa answered immediately, emphatically. "Then why - why did you keep seeing him? All these years?" Trowa sighed. There was no easy answer to that. "Because Heero - he's a great guy. He's smart, he's funny, he's handsome - you two have the same sense of humor and the same - you two are perfect for each other. You and Quatre -" "We weren't perfect for each other," Trowa interrupted him. "We were good - we were great together and there is no excuse for what I did - but Heero and I weren't perfect together." "If you hadn't cheated on him, the two of you would still be together, wouldn't you? You and he would be the ones engaged and adopting." Trowa shook his head. "No. Heero is my best friend and I almost ruined that - I ended our relationship in the worst way possible, but it would have ended. Even if I'd never met Quatre - even if I'd never done the shittiest thing possible." Duo swallowed hard. "I'm not Heero. And I'm sure as hell not Quatre." "I know." Duo looked desperate. "Then what the hell - Tro, I can't compete with them! You're telling me that Heero wasn't perfect for you! You're telling me that Quatre - I'm just me, man. I don't have any - I don't have their experience or their looks or their past with you or anything. Tro, I'm nothing compared to -" "Duo, you are everything compared to them." Trowa fought back his own desperation. "You have no idea how incredible you are and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry that I haven't told you before now that you are perfect - you're brilliant, Duo. And funny and kind and you're so fucking sexy I can't stop looking at you sometimes and I can never stop thinking about you. I did something incredibly stupid five years ago and I've hated myself for it ever since. I've hated myself because I almost destroyed my friendship with Heero and because I chose someone who is the absolute worst possible partner. You aren't competing with either of them, Duo. You never were - I've never - I've never felt like this about anyone before." Duo stared at him, his dark blue eyes intense as they searched Trowa. Finally, Duo sighed. "So you're saying... you're not just going to throw me over for the next guy who quotes Shakespeare to you?" Trowa's relief was so intense he had to lean back against the door. He shook his head. "No." "Good, because I think, for the first time, I really get what he meant in The Merchant of Venice." Trowa frowned in confusion. "'You speak an infinite deal of nothing?' " "No," Duo chuckled and then his face turned serious. "'One half of me is yours, the other half yours, mine own, I would say; but if mine, then yours, and so all yours.'" "Duo. I really want to kiss you, but I'm drenched in sweat." Duo smirked and closed the space between them, pinning Trowa back against the door. "I don't care how sweaty you are," Duo said, his curved lips a breath away from Trowa's. Trowa kissed him, tasting his smile, feeling Duo's entire body press into him. "I think this is the part where I say 'take me to bed or lose me forever,'" Duo said, pulling away. "That's not Shakespeare," Trowa said and kissed him again. He eased them away from the door, guiding Duo backwards, deeper into the apartment. "I'm something like seventy five percent positive Shakespeare wrote the screenplay for Top Gun," Duo argued. "I'm something like one hundred percent sure that if I take you to bed, right now, this disgusting, I will lost you forever." "Take me to the shower or lose me forever? Not quite the same ring to it, but we can make it work." -o- The End. And now I will start to revisit my WIPs. I'm open to suggestions of which I should revisit first. I'm still working on What May Come and will continue to post updates of that alongside whichever of my old pieces I tackle first. At some point in the future I might throw an epilogue onto this. But for now, c'est finis.
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