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"Before Now"Written By: Clara Barton Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing. The following
is an intellectual exercise with no intention of profit. That said,
these characterizations, words, and situations are mine. Please ask
before reprinting. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: Angst, language, sex, angst Pairings: 1x2x3 Summary: Two stories of friendship,
love and loss told fourteen years apart. "Before Now" Chapter One Before Heero wasn't entirely sure what he had been expecting from his first week of high school, but it hadn't been this. It hadn't been classes that seemed remedial, in comparison to the classes he had had last year. It hadn't been the same classmates he had had all through middle school and, in many cases, elementary school. It hadn't been the same gossip, the same cliques, the same feelings of not belonging and not caring. He should have expected all of that to stay the same, in reality. Being a freshman at Granville High School wasn't, in the end, all that different than being an eighth grader at Granville Elementary School. Not when the town of Granville itself had a population of barely ten thousand. Not when Heero had had the same classmates since he had first started school ten years ago. At least he had managed to get into better classes, had camped out in front of the principal's office for three mornings in a row until she finally agreed to put him in Pre-Calculus and Advanced Physics. But there was no way to change the rest of it - no way to get around the fact that all of the students at Granville High School were the same peers that Heero had always preferred to avoid. Still, avoidance could only get him so far. His father had insisted that he participate in school more, that he start making a name for himself in sports so that he had an easier time getting into college. Heero knew that Odin, his father, wanted him to try out for the football team or at least the baseball team, but Heero couldn't imagine joining a team sport like that. So he had settled on the cross-country team, since, if he made it, it meant spending almost every weekend of the fall semester travelling to track meets. He probably shouldn't be picking a sport based on how much time away from home it guaranteed, probably shouldn't already be preparing a mental schedule for how often he could use the excuse of going running to get out of the house, but then again, he probably shouldn't have to. Yet he did, and he was. The cross-country team held try-outs during the first week of school, on Friday after classes, and as Heero changed into running shorts, a t-shirt and a pair of just barely broken in cross country spikes, he looked around the locker room. Disappointingly, he recognized almost everyone. A few of the faces he couldn't put names with - students he recognized as seniors or juniors but had never really known. But all of the sophomores and the other freshmen were familiar to him. All except one. A boy with a long braid of brown hair and a cocky grin who winked at Heero when he saw him looking his way. Heero couldn't decide if he hated him or liked him for that, for his cocky attitude and the swagger in his step as he walked out of the locker room. The coach, Treize Khushrenada, was also the Spanish teacher at the high school, and Heero imagined that he would take out his frustrations from classes on the team, would likely force them to run harder and faster just because he could, just because his days teaching Spanish to kids who could not care less about learning a second language had to be terrible. "Buenas tardes, Senior Khushrenada," the braided boy greeted him. Treize arched an eyebrow at him. "Buenas tardes, Duo." Duo grinned. "You remembered me!" "Of course I remembered you. You're the only one in your class who bothered to do your homework," Treize muttered. Duo shrugged. "Yeah, well, Father Maxwell's kind of a hard ass about doing homework." Oh. He was the kid Father Maxwell and his wife Helen had adopted over the summer. Odin had talked about it, had mentioned something about Helen being too soft-hearted and Father Maxwell having his hands full because the kid had already spent time in a juvenile detention center. Looking at him now, Heero had to wonder what Duo could have possibly done. He looked friendly and even innocent, with his wide blue eyes and sincere smile. Treize blew the whistle around his neck, drawing everyone's attention to him. "Congratulations," he said, looking over the line of nine runners. "You've made the cross-country track team." Heero had to scowl. They didn't even have to try? "Whew," Duo wiped his brow in an exaggerated gesture of relief. "I was worried I wouldn't make it!" Treize gave him a quelling look. "Even though we don't turn anyone away from the team, I do rank you. So today is your one shot to impress me before our first meet in two weeks. Your normal courses will be five kilometers. Today you will each be running eight kilometers. I want to see what kind of endurance you have. Before we get started, go ahead and introduce yourselves - tell us your name and your year. We're all going to be spending every weekend together for the next sixteen weeks, we might as well get familiar." "Zechs Merquise, Junior," the tall, blond haired boy at the end of the line stepped forward. "Otto Mitas, Junior," said the boy next to him. "Alex Trant, Senior." "Brandon Mueller, Junior." "Duo Maxwell, Freshman." "Wufei Chang, Freshman." "Quatre Winner, Freshman." "Heery Yuy, Freshman." "Trowa Barton, Freshman." There were a few murmurs from the upperclassmen when Trowa introduced himself, and Heero wasn't surprised. Trowa himself just looked steadily ahead, completely ignoring everyone around him, just as he usually did. Only Duo Maxwell frowned and looked at the others, arched his eyebrow in question and glanced at Trowa as if he could somehow figure out why his name made everyone else react. But Duo was new. Duo hadn't been a classmate of Trowa's and he hadn't lived in Granville long enough to know. He hadn't been there last February, at that stupid Valentine's dance at their middle school when Trowa and Michael Corner had danced together and kissed during one of the slow songs. He hadn't been there to see or hear about Trowa and Michael getting beaten up afterwards. He hadn't been there when Odin came home late one night and told Heero that Michael Corner had killed himself. He hadn't been there to see Trowa's face whenever he looked at the empty seat where Michael used to sit. "Right," Treize gathered their attention again. "Follow the course flags. Run safe and run hard." He paused, waited until he had everyone's focus once again. "On my mark - Go!" For the first few kilometers all nine runners stayed even, but by the time they were on the last stretch, the runners had separated into three groups - Zechs, Otto and Wufei in the lead, Duo, Heero and Trowa behind them, and then Quatre, Mueller and Trant together bringing up the rear. "You famous or something?" Duo asked Trowa. Trowa glanced over at him. "Infamous," he corrected, his voice barely loud enough for Heero to hear over his own heartbeat and labored breathing. "Infamous? Nice. Whaddya do? Break into -" "Leave him alone," Heero interrupted Duo. It was bad enough that everyone in this town already looked down on Trowa, already had even before Michael, because his sister, Cathy, was a stripper. Trowa didn't really need yet another person making fun of him. Trowa arched an eyebrow at him. They had never really spoken, not since elementary school when they had made a battery together out of a potato in a science class and even then their conversation had been limited to "pass the iodine." Both Heero and Trowa had always been loners, always at the periphery. Well, Trowa hadn't been after Michael moved to Granville during sixth grade. The two had instantly been inseperable, but it wasn't until the dance that anyone realized they were gay, that they were more than just friends." "It doesn't matter," Trowa said to Heero. "Someone else will tell him anyway." "Tell me what?" "My sister is a stripper." "Well, my newly adopted dear old dad is a freaking minister, so I think I've got you beat on the family occupations to be embarrassed about." "My boyfriend killed himself last February." "Oh." Duo actually stumbled over the grass, lost a few paces, but then caught back up, all humor gone from his face. "My brother killed himself, when I was ten. 'S'not the same, but... I feel you." Trowa looked over at him again, and with Heero running between them he could see the hesitancy in Trowa's eyes, could see how much he wanted to think Duo could possibly understand. "Anyway," Duo said after a tense, heavy few minutes of running in silence, "whaddya say we give those guys a run for their money? I sure as hell don't want to finish after some decrepit old senior. What about you guys?" Without waiting for an answer, Duo picked up his pace. Heero found himself instantly following, not entirely sure why, but then a moment later Trowa was there too, the three of them pushing ahead together. -o- Now The battered truck was in the driveway, mud caked around the wheel wells and the assortment of stickers on the back slowly peeling away, losing the battle against time and the elements. Still, Heero paused as he approached the front door of the small house. He'd been here so often over the years, but not usually during the day, not usually feeling this out of sorts. He knocked cautiously and waited, ready to turn and walk away in a heartbeat, but the door opened. Trowa was only half dressed, in his olive khakis and a white a-tank undershirt, and he arched an eyebrow at the sight of Heero on his front porch. "Can I come in?" Trowa stepped aside and let Heero in. "You're on your way out?" Trowa nodded and glanced at Heero, at his jeans and t-shirt. "You just got off duty?" Heero nodded and found himself at a momentary loss. Trowa sighed and glanced at his wristwatch. "I've got half an hour, if you want -" It was all the invitation Heero needed. He didn't even let Trowa finish the sentence before kissing him, pressing his lips against Trowa's open mouth with the same familiar desperation that Heero always felt when he came to Trowa. Trowa stumbled back a step but then wrapped his arms around Heero, held him tightly and kissed him back and that too was familiar, the sense of Trowa's strong body and his warmth, the solid weight of him that was always there. Trowa walked them backwards, still kissing Heero, his hands tugging at Heero's shirt and jeans, and by the time they made it to the bedroom they were both naked, their clothes a haphazard trail from the front door to the bed. Trowa pushed him back on the bed, straddled him and kissed his way down Heero's body, nipping at his skin until Heero groaned and shoved his head lower, impatient with the way Trowa always teased him, always reminded Heero too much of the way someone else liked to tease. Trowa took the hint, as usual, and transferred his attention to Heero's cock, sucking on him until he was fully erect and then he kissed Heero again, their tongues tangled together and fighting for control as Trowa reached for a condom and lube. Trowa prepared him quickly, efficiently, but it still felt good, still left Heero eager for more, and when Trowa slid inside, his cock filling Heero so completely it took his breath away, Heero felt some of the chaos of this thoughts start to recede, felt the world start to shift back into place. Trowa fucked him with the same intense, methodical manner he seemed to approach every task with, his cock thrusting into Heero's body in deep, slow thrusts that left both of them panting and groaning, his green eyes were fixed on Heero's face, his right hand stroking Heero's cock in time with his thrusts. And this too was so familiar, so practiced between them, their bodies finely tuned to each other and Trowa knew when Heero was close, knew from his shuddering breath and his jerking thighs and Heero saw Trowa bit the inside of his lower lip, suck it in just the slightest bit, and then he felt Trowa come, felt him thrust deeply and erratically and then he closed his eyes and sighed. Trowa leaned down, brushed his lips over Heero's one more time, and then he pulled out and rolled over, off the bed and walked into the bathroom to get rid of the condom. He came back with a damp towel and wiped at Heero's cock and belly. "You don't usually come over during the day." Trowa's voice was empty of emotion, and Heero wasn't sure what Trowa hoped he would say. "No," Heero agreed, the safest course of action. In fact, he never came over during the day. He only ever came over at night, only ever when they ran into each other at Full Moon, one of three bars in town and the one both Heero and Trowa went to a few nights a month, and sometimes their schedules overlapped, sometimes they saw each other across the dark, smoky interior and Heero walked home with Trowa, fucked him until he was sober enough to drive home. Trowa took back the towel and tossed it carelessly into his laundry hamper, still looking at Heero with his piercing eyes. "You're going to be late," Heero pointed out, glancing at the clock on Trowa's nightstand. Trowa finally looked away from him and started to search for his clothes, pulling them back on with jerky, frustrated motions. Heero knew he was being an asshole, knew he was always an asshole to Trowa. "Father Maxwell died last night." Trowa stopped dressing, his olive khakis halfway up his thighs, and turned to look at Heero. After a moment, Trowa pulled the pants the rest of the way up and fastened them. "Did you notify the next of kin?" Heero shook his head. "Wufei was on duty last night. I just heard about it this morning. Wufei called him." Trowa didn't ask, even though it was clear he wanted to, and Heero couldn't blame him. He'd wanted to ask Wufei the same thing - how he sounded, what he said, if he was coming back - but he hadn't been able to. And Trowa wasn't able to now. "What about Death?" Heero frowned and then shrugged one shoulder. "It comes to us all?" He hazarded, not really sure where Trowa was going with that question. Trowa glared. "The dog, Heero. Where is Duo's dog?" Shit. He'd forgotten all about Death, the dog Duo had rescued from that damn pet store at that track meet their junior year in high school. He'd left the dog behind, just like he had left Trowa and Heero behind, and Heero had never really given the dog much thought. "I don't know." "For fuck's sake, Heero," Trowa muttered, and Heero could count on one hand the number of times Trowa had ever sounded that upset. Trowa walked out of the bedroom and Heero followed him, watched Trowa find his cell phone and dial a number while he continued to dress. "Wufei? Yeah, it's me. Where is Duo's dog? Right. I'm going to get him. I don't care - figure out whatever paperwork I need to fill out. Thanks." Trowa hung up and glared at Heero once more. "You really expect me to be thinking of the damn dog right now?" Heero demanded, incredulous. Trowa closed his eyes and shook his head. "No. Of course not." He sighed and reached for the tan shirt on a hook by the door and started to pull it on. Heero watched him, keenly aware of the fact that as Trowa finished buttoning up his uniform shirt, Heero was still completely naked. Trowa arched an eyebrow, looking him over. "Lock the door when you leave, will you?" Trowa reached for the wide brimmed brown hat that completed his Park Ranger uniform and Heero sighed. "What the hell do you want from me, Trowa?" Trowa's hand stilled and clenched into a fist for a moment before completing the gesture, grabbing the hat and settling it on his head. "Nothing, Heero." Trowa didn't even glance over his shoulder, just walked out of the front door and closed it behind him and left Heero alone in the empty house. Angrily, Heero found his clothes and started to dress. He realized that Trowa had taken his undershirt, had likely grabbed it accidentally and as Heero pulled on Trowa's undershirt he couldn't help but smell Trowa's cologne, the same damn cologne he had used since he was a senior in high school and it was ridiculous for Heero to pause, for him to inhale deeply and think back ten years ago, to think back to that Christmas when Duo had given each of them a bottle of expensive cologne, had blushed and said they reminded him of them. It was just as ridiculous, probably, that Heero also still used the same cologne, still ordered it from the store in New York where Duo had first bought it for him. Once he was dressed again Heero let himself out, locked the door behind him, and climbed into his Jeep and made the drive back to his own house. When he pulled up in the driveway he saw the other car already parked and he cut the ignition and sighed. It would have been nice to have the house to himself, but then again, Heero wasn't really sure what he would have done - go into the attic and hunt through the old year books? Look for the shoebox of photos he had never been able to get rid of? After a few minutes he got out of the Jeep and let himself into the house. He sniffed the air. Pot roast. Usually his favorite. "Hey!" Relena greeted him a with a kiss. "I thought you were going to be home sooner - the pot roast almost burnt!" "Sorry." Relena arched an eyebrow at him, at his lack of enthusiasm and the more than usually pathetic apology. "I went by Trowa's house," Heero told her. Relena arched an eyebrow. She knew he spent time with Trowa, knew he went over to sober up before coming home after a few drinks, knew they had been friends since high school and she might have known more, or at least suspected, but she never said. "Father Maxwell died last night." "Oh." Relena bit her lip. "Do you think Duo will come back for the funeral?" Heero shrugged. He honestly had no idea. And he had no idea if he even wanted Duo to come back. "He didn't come back for Helen's funeral," Relena said, her tone brisk. "He probably won't come back for this one either." She reached out and ran her hand over Heero's jaw. "You look exhausted." "I don't care for the early morning shifts at the police station," Heero admitted. Relena laughed. "You've always been such a nightowl. But I like the early morning shifts for you - we never get to spend time together when you work nights." "I know. I'm sorry." "You don't have to apologize. You always find a way to make it up to me." It was his cue, and Heero leaned in to kiss her. It was, as always, so different than kissing Trowa. "Come on, let's have dinner and I can tell you all about my exciting day trying to teach math to the demon spawn in third grade this year." Heero smiled, nodded and followed her into the kitchen and he tried to listen, tried to put all thoughts of Trowa and Duo out of his head. But as usual, he failed. -o-
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