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"Entanglement"Written By: Clara Barton Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing. The following
is an intellectual exercise with no intention of profit. That said,
these characterizations, words, and situations are mine. Please ask
before reprinting. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: Angst, language, sex Pairings: 2x3, 1x2x3, past 1x4, past 1x5 Summary: It was supposed to be one night, a threesome with a complete stranger to celebrate their anniversary, but things got complicated. Sequel to: King of Hearts, Defeated and Brand New Day A/N: I wrote Defeated as a one shot, but then
I wrote King of Hearts (actually a prequel to Defeated) for the 2014
Smut Off with Miss-Murdered and I've just fallen in love with these
characters so I wrote Brand New Day. Entanglement is a multi-chapter
fic of the events taking place after Brand New Day. You definitely
need to read those three one shots before reading this. "Entanglement" Chapter Fifteen Trowa loved Duo. He thought his husband was the funniest man he had ever met, one of the most intelligent, generous, loyal, ruthless and sexiest men he had ever known. He loved him. He just needed to keep telling himself that when Duo annoyed the shit out of him, which he was currently doing. Despite the fact that Duo logged almost as many frequent flier miles as Trowa, Duo had never particularly enjoyed plane travel and airports made him cranky and anxious. Even when they were in the Air France travel lounge at JFK, away from the hustle of the airport, waiting to board their flight to Paris for their traditional Christmas abroad. Trowa, nursing his second glass of red wine and trying to read The Night Circus, found his attention constantly drawn to Duo's pacing form. They spent so much of their days dressed in expensive suits that it still caught Trowa off guard when he saw Duo dressed casually, as he was now, in dark wash jeans, a black shawl collar cardigan and a gray v-neck t-shirt. He looked good, and several men and women in the lounge were keeping up with Duo's progress as he walked back and forth from between the bar and the windows, his gait slow, nonchalant, trying to hide his anxiety. The next time he came within reach, Trowa grabbed his arm and pulled him down to the leather couch he sat on. Duo glared at him and Trowa arched an eyebrow. "If you keep pacing like that TSA agents are going to rush in here and arrest you," Trowa muttered. Duo sighed and leaned back, drumming his fingertips against his right knee. Trowa loved Duo. He loved - He reached out and captured Duo's hand in his own. "He's not going to come," Duo said. He made no move to pull his hand away. Trowa frowned. He was inclined to agree with Duo, especially considering that their flight began boarding in thirty minutes. It had been a stupid romantic gesture, which Duo had pointed out several times during and after the fact, but Trowa had left a first class ticket to Paris on Heero's desk two days ago, waiting for Heero to be away and Susan had distracted Gina so he could sneak past her. He wondered if Heero had even seen the ticket - he kept his desk pathologically clean and Trowa had propped it against the monitor of his computer, so it should have been impossible to miss. But still, maybe he had. Maybe it was still sitting there, untouched. "I think this means he's made his decision," Duo said. He turned to face Trowa and offered him a sad smile. "I'm sorry I fucked it up." When Trowa had confronted Heero ten days ago at the gym he had tried to lay things out as clearly and emotionlessly as possible, which had been damned difficult to do considering how empty their apartment and their bed felt without Heero there. It was a cruel irony that he and Duo were more open, more honest, and more united now than they had ever been yet they both felt bereft and incomplete without Heero in their lives. Heero had come over the next night for dinner and told them that he needed some time, to think about this, about them and what he wanted and needed. So they had given him time. In the mornings, at the gym, Trowa didn't try to engage Heero in conversation. During the day, at the office, he kept to his office or Duo's. At night, he and Duo went home and studiously did not talk about Heero. At least, they hadn't until Duo had booked their hotel and plane reservations for Christmas and hesitated when selecting the number of passengers for their flight. Trowa had been the one to select three, the one to print out the ticket, put it in an envelope and leave it on Heero's desk. Duo had been the one shaking his head and saying it was a stupid romantic gesture and they shouldn't get their hopes up. Trowa sighed and pulled him close for a kiss. "You didn't fuck anything up. Maybe we both did, but it wasn't you. Maybe it was him. It's not as if - it's not as if relationships like ours really work out in the end anyway, is it?" Duo sighed again. "I really -" Duo stopped talking and smiled, a slow, sexy turn of his lips that made Trowa's breath catch. He turned, following Duo's gaze, and saw Heero standing in the door of the lounge, a travel bag at his feet and an uncertain expression on his face. Duo stood up and Trowa followed him, tucking a bookmark in his book and putting it back in his bag as Duo greeted Heero. "I, ah, wasn't sure you were going to come." Heero looked from Duo to Trowa. "I'm still not sure I should," he admitted. "You don't have to," Trowa offered and both men turned to look at him, Duo with a shut up expression on his face. "If you need more time - to think about us, about this - we don't want to rush you to make a decision." He clarified. Heero sighed. "I'd be an idiot to turn down the opportunity to spend time with you. But we..." "We need to talk," Duo finished for him. "We know. And we're going to." Heero nodded in agreement. "I booked a separate hotel room. So we can -" "No," Duo and Trowa said together. "We already booked a suite," Trowa said to placate Heero, "so if you don't want to share our bed you can have your own. We won't pressure you into anything." Trowa felt stupid, felt like this was the same conversation they had had four months ago and why the hell were they still having it? He knew Heero was unhappy in this, knew he wanted more and he knew that he couldn't do a damn thing to make him happier or give him what he wanted until Heero said something. And Heero seemed perfectly content to say nothing and simply make all of them miserable. The intercom announced that their flight was boarding. "Well?" Duo asked Heero, an uncertain smile on his face. "Join us for a week in Paris?" Heero looked between them again and then nodded. "Of course." They were quiet as they walked to the terminal, each lost in their own thoughts. Trowa was confident that Duo's thoughts revolved around his hatred of airports and innate distrust of flight attendants that smiled too broadly, but it was hard to read Heero. Trowa bumped his shoulder against Heero's, catching his attention. "I'm glad you came," Trowa told him. Heero's lips tipped upwards, ever so slightly, and it felt damn good to see him smile again - even if it was a miniscule smile. As they shuffled onto the plane and stowed their bags overhead in the first class section Duo put a hand on Heero's chest. "Okay. This is the most important decision you're going to make for this entire week," Duo said. His words made Heero narrow his eyes. "Do you want to sit by the window and have Trowa drool on your shoulder when he falls asleep, or do you want to sit in the middle and have Trowa drool on your shoulder when he falls asleep but be beside me so we can play footsie." Heero's shoulders sagged in relief. "I do not drool," Trowa muttered in self defense and Duo gave him a patronizing look. "Of course you don't, babe," he said and Trowa glared at him. "I can sit in the middle," Heero decided. Trowa squeezed past them and took his window seat, sinking back into the plush chair and closing his eyes. They clearly still had a long week ahead of them, and Trowa certainly hoped that most of it was pleasant, but he was enough of a realist to know that Heero coming to Paris with them did not mean Heero had a future with them. "Is he asleep already?" He heard Heero ask Duo. "Nah. But he will be as soon as the plane takes off. Every damn time. Here, you might want to put this blanket on your shoulder to catch the drool." "You aren't funny," Trowa muttered, but he didn't bother to open his eyes to glare at Duo, he knew it was what Duo wanted. "Course I am. I'm funny, right Heero?" "Sometimes," Heero allowed and Trowa smirked in triumphant. He listened to the two of them talk about the cases they had been working on and realized with a pang of regret that Duo genuinely missed Heero as a partner - they had worked on the YSI case for months together, had spent nearly every work day with each other, and Duo had spent the last two weeks with virtually no interaction with him. By the time the plane took off and Trowa starting drifting off to sleep they had moved on to sports, talking about the Red Sox prospects for next year, and Trowa fell asleep and dreamed of the three of them seeing a game at Fenway Park together. -o- He woke up, eight hours later, and discovered that Duo and Heero were drunk. They had apparently put quite a dent in the vodka onboard and Trowa felt ridiculous escorting the two men through customs while they struggled to attempt sobriety. Duo leaned heavily against Heero while they stood in line and Trowa could see Heero leaning into the contact, smiling drunkenly back at Duo when Duo grinned at him. Trowa didn't get to see goofy-drunk Duo too often. Usually he only drank this much if he was angry or stressed, and while Duo certainly had been stressed for most of the day, the eight hour plane ride and however much vodka he had consumed had taken him right past angry and determined-drunk Duo to goofy-drunk Duo. Trowa loved sexy-drunk Duo, but goofy-drunk Duo had always been his favorite. Even though he had to reach out and help steady them a few times as they collected their luggage and waded through the crowd to catch a taxi, Trowa was happy. He felt ridiculous, but he was happy that, at least for the next week, both of these gorgeous, goofy-drunk men were his. And maybe, if he didn't fuck this up, he'd have both of them around for much longer than that. The forty minute taxi ride was... interesting, to say the least. Duo carried on a conversation in French with the driver, asking him his opinions on French pop music after he recognized a song on the radio. With Duo leaning forward to rest his arms on the back of the front passenger seat, Trowa leaned closer to Heero and Heero shifted so that he was pressed against Trowa's side. "I didn't figure you for the goofy-drunk type," he confessed. Heero shrugged. "I never figured myself for the goofy-drunk type either," he said and tugged on the end of Duo's braid, "his fault." Duo shot a look over his shoulder at them, arching at eyebrow at the tug on his braid and then smirking when he saw the way Heero was leaning against Trowa, resting his head on Trowa's shoulder. He turned back to the cab driver. "What did you two talk about on the plane?" Heero chuckled and the low, throaty sound made Trowa's pulse race. He had missed Heero's laugh. "Baseball, then hockey, then we got bored with the champagne and started playing a drinking game with vodka." Trowa arched an eyebrow. "What drinking game?" "Legal Never Have I Ever." Trowa burst out laughing. The mental image of Heero and Duo, twenty eight year old men, playing "legal" Never Have I Ever might be the funniest thing he had pictured in a long time. "You realize that might be the nerdiest possible drinking game in the world," he had to point out. Heero nodded ruefully. "I told Duo, but he said that Star Wars drinking games were worse - I can't believe he doesn't like Star Wars." "I know," Trowa commisserated. "I know. Maybe next -" he bit his lip and stopped himself from saying Maybe next year we can watch them in bed together. He was sure Duo would maintain an interest in the films if there was sex involved, but he had no idea if Heero would be part of their lives next Thanksgiving. Heero sighed and closed his eyes, his head a warm weight on Trowa's shoulder and Trowa resisted the urge to wrap his arm around him. Instead, he contented himself with placing a discrete kiss on top of his head. Apparently goofy-drunk Heero quickly turned into sleepy-drunk Heero. By the time they arrived at the Hotel Pont Royal, Duo seemed to have sobered up slightly and Trowa gently shook Heero awake. It was after midnight in Paris, but only six back in New York and Trowa was anything but tired. He could tell, however, that Heero's conscious status was only temporary and that Duo's drifting towards sobriety would quickly be followed by a slide into drowsiness. A porter escorted them to the eighth floor and their suite, dutifully placing his and Duo's luggage in the large, master bedroom and Heero's in the adjoining bedroom before accepting a tip from Trowa and leaving. Duo and Heero were standing in front of the balcony windows, the lights of Paris stretched out before them, and Trowa had to swallow hard against an intense and sudden ache in his chest. He loved Duo. He had loved Duo since the first day of their internship when he had seen Duo trip, smack his face into a wall and casually pretend nothing had happened. And he loved Heero. He had loved Heero... it was harder to define just when the change had occurred, when he had gone from feeling lust and companionship to something more, but he thought it was probably the Sunday the three of them had walked around Central Park together after a morning in bed and some kid had had his older brother shove him down and dropped his ice cream and Heero had bought him another one and then blushed when he saw Trowa and Duo watching him. Looking at the two men he loved standing together reminded Trowa of just how very lucky he was - and just how very difficult it was going to be to make this work. He walked up to them and Duo leaned back against him, tucking his head under Trowa's chin and Trowa reached out with his left arm, wrapping it around Heero's waist and pulling him in close. He wouldn't pressure Heero to join them in bed, but he'd be damned if he didn't take the opportunity to hold him if that opportunity presented itself. Heero fit against his side perfectly, and after a moment Heero's right arm mirrored Trowa's, wrapping around his waist and holding him. Eventually, Duo spoke up, breaking the silence. "So... our first night together in Paris. What do you want to do?" He directed the question towards Heero. Heero seemed to be considering the question, but then he yawned. Duo chuckled. "Alright, our first night in Paris and you want to go to bed. Not the worst plan. Tro?" "I'm not tired," he confessed, "but I can read after you two drunks pass out." Duo elbowed him sharply. "You're not tired because you took an eight hour nap on the plane," he grumbled. "I'm sorry," Heero apologized. "I'm sure you had plans to -" "No need to apologize," Duo interrupted him. "The only plans we had were plans to spend time with you." Heero turned his head to look at them. "I guess, I'll see you in the morning?" He pulled away from Trowa. "The bed in our room is the same size as our bed at home," Trowa said but let him go. Heero frowned slightly. "I really am tired," he hedged. Duo sighed. "We want you in our bed for more than sex, Heero. But if you... if you'd rather sleep alone then you... well, yeah." Duo was clearly trying to hide his hurt and irritation at Heero's behaviour. Trowa was feeling a fair amount of hurt and irritation himself. But then again - he realized that Heero had never shared their bed unless it was for sex. Yes, he stayed the night when he came over and he seemed perfectly content to let Trowa curl up around him or, more often than not, wrapped himself around Duo while Trowa spooned his husband. But sex had always been involved. Trowa reached out and tugged on Heero's hand. "Come to bed." Heero looked at him and nodded, allowing Trowa to guide him into their bedroom. Duo was frowning, however, as he started to undress. "First time for everything," Trowa told him, softly, hoping Heero didn't overhear and hoping that Duo understood him well enough to come to the same realization that Trowa just had. Duo stared at him for a moment and then swore softly. "We're idiots," he decided. Trowa nodded in agreement. Meanwhile, as Trowa and Duo realized yet another way they had fucked this up, Heero had stripped down to his boxers. Duo removed all of his clothes and then rooted around in his luggage until he found his flannel pajama bottoms and pulled them on. "This place doesn't have the best heating," he told Heero. "Even with three of us in bed it might get chilly." Heero nodded and started towards the door, but Trowa stopped him. "I'll grab your bags," he said. It was manipulative, yes, but Trowa felt fairly confident that there was a chance that letting Heero walk out now would lead to them sleeping in separate beds. Besides, getting Heero's luggage in here was a step in the direction towards making sure he didn't step foot in that other room at all. Duo was brushing his teeth when he came back, and Heero took his luggage with a rueful smile - he clearly knew what Trowa had been planning - and pulled out the gray knit pants he usually slept in. Trowa loved those pants. They rode low on Heero's hips, just barely hugging the curve of his ass and Trowa already had many fond memories of tugging at the drawstring and pulling them down to get to Heero's cock. He forced those thoughts away. Sex was definitely not on the table tonight, and there was no need to torture himself by thinking about Heero's cock. Heero took his turn in the bathroom after Duo, and Duo crawled into the bed and gave Trowa a significant look. "We've got to fix this," Duo said to him. Trowa nodded in agreement. Duo reached out and squeezed his hand and Trowa squeezed back. Trowa traded places with Heero in the bathroom, emptying his bladder before washing his hands and face and brushing his teeth. When he came back into the bedroom, Duo and Heero were under the heavy comforter, facing each other on their sides and speaking in low voices. He undressed and waited for them to include him in the conversation. "We were just debating whether or not it would be worth the hassle to go out and see Versailles this time of year," Duo told him. Trowa shrugged and put on his pajamas, a pair of faded Red Sox sweats he had liberated from Duo's side of the bureau years ago. He pulled back the comforter on Heero's side of the bed and waited for Heero to move over, closer to Duo, before he got into bed with them. "We went... three years ago?" Trowa remembered. He shrugged. "It was okay. I'd like to go again if you two want to." He settled against Heero's back and wrapped his arm around his waist. After a moment, Heero shifted closer and settled against him. Duo smirked, the expression soft and sleepy. Trowa felt the brush of his leg as Duo edged closer, until they were a tangle of limbs and bodies. Trowa reached behind him to turn off the bedside light. Despite the fact that he wasn't the least bit tired, he stayed in bed with Duo and Heero, listening to the sounds of their breath even out as they fell asleep, and he tried to figure out what else they had been doing wrong and what they could do to fix it. -o- When Trowa woke up the next morning he was alone in bed. He reached over to feel the sheets where Duo and Heero had slept the night before, but they were cool to the touch, indicating that they had been up for some time. Frowning, Trowa rose from the bed and walked into the living area of the suite. It was quiet, and empty. There was no sign of Duo or Heero in the living area or the adjoining room. Maybe they had gone out to get breakfast? Trowa brushed his teeth and contemplated taking a shower. The door to the hotel opened and Duo and Heero walked in. They were smiling at each other, and they were wearing sweatpants and t-shirts darkened with sweat. Trowa frowned. Had they gone running together? Paris was the one place Duo didn't usually get up and go for a morning run, especially this time of year. But maybe with Heero he had - "Hey, sorry we tried to wake you up but you were mumbled something about Swedish porn and wouldn't budge." Duo smirked at him. Trowa rolled his eyes. "You two went for a run?" "Nah, the hotel gym." Trowa looked between them, at the satisfied smirk on Heero's face and the way Duo was biting his lower lip, a sure sign that he expected Trowa to get pissed. It took a moment, but then Trowa realized what was going on. "This has to stop, right now," he said to Heero. Both men looked at him in surprise. "Tro -" Duo started to say. "No. I see what you're doing, Heero. You did it at Thanksgiving when you told Duo to talk to me - you're trying to fix us so you can just walk away. Taking Duo to the gym and convincing him to start working out with me in the morning isn't going to mean I don't want you there too. I want you and we need you, not to fix us, but to be with us. So stop trying to... stop preparing us for life without you." Trowa tried very hard not to glare at Heero and instead settled for staring at him, willing him to see how much this wasn't right. "Um, well, it was my idea to go to the gym this morning," Duo said, stepping between them. "I was the one who dragged Heero out of bed because I have no fucking clue what those machines do and... well, I was thinking I could start going to the gym with you guys a few days a week - not every day, but..." Duo trailed off and shrugged. "Oh." Trowa felt like an idiot. "Sorry," he said. Heero sighed. "I'm not preparing you two for life without me, I'm preparing me for life without you." Trowa frowned and Duo turned to look at Heero. "Why?" Duo asked. "Because this isn't going to last - and I keep telling myself that I should just enjoy the time I get to spend with you and not let it bother me but it does bother me." Heero ran a frustrated hand through his sweat slicked hair. "You love me," he said, his gaze taking in both of them and his voice unsteady, "and I - you have a life together. You have plans and I'm not part of any of that. You're already putting your adoption plans on hold for me, aren't you?" Duo sighed and looked at the ground for a moment. "No, we didn't put them on hold." He looked back at Trowa. "There's no way we'd ever get approved for adoption as a married couple with a lover." Heero frowned, trying to work out how what Duo had said was different than what he had said. "A permanent lover," Trowa added and Duo nodded in agreement. "Why?" Heero asked, and it was clear he really had no idea why Duo and Trowa would change their plans to accommodate him. Trowa sighed. "You said it - we love you. We want you in our lives. As more than someone we have sex with, more than someone we work out with or work with. Duo gave you that key because we want you there, at home, with us." "But your family -" "We want you as our family," Duo interrupted, "and apparently we've done a shit job of showing you that," he continued in an undertone. "But... but here's the thing." Heero arched an eyebrow, clearing recognizing Duo's serious tone from having worked with him for so long. "Trowa and I know what we want. We know what we would do to have you in our lives and - it's not like we're giving something up, we're just rethinking things. But you - maybe you don't want this. It's not... hell, it's not normal for three men to be in this kind of a relationship. It's not going to be easy, figuring all of this out and maybe - maybe you want to be with someone like Wufei. Maybe you want to get married and have kids and do all of these things that you can't do with us." Duo shrugged. "Maybe this isn't something that can work." Heero was quiet for a long, tense moment. "I'm not worth it," he finally said. "Yes, you fucking are," Duo said. Heero shook his head. "No. I'm not. I'm not someone you want to share your life with. I'm not worth giving up on children and -" "You are," it was Trowa's turn to interrupt. "You are worth every effort we can make to have you with us." Heero glared at him. "I am not," he insisted. "You don't know - you don't know what a disappointment and failure I am. You have no idea how little you should care about me. I am not the man you think I am." "Then who are you?" Duo asked. "Because the man I know sure as hell isn't a disappointment or a failure. The man I know is generous and intelligent and insightful and too damn selfless most of the time and I care about him, a lot. And I'm not sure I appreciate the way you talk about him." "I am not selfless," Heero snarled. "I'm selfish - I'm selfish and jealous and I am a disappointment." He shook his head and then laughed bitterly. "Do you have any idea how jealous I am of the time you two spend together? Of your past together and your future? You go home together every day, you share a bed every night, you wake up with each other every day. I'm not allowed to be with one of you if the other one doesn't... doesn't give me permission and I'm not part of your lives. I want more than permission - I want more than a few nights a week as a guest. I'm selfish, because I want everything that the two of you have together and I can't have it. I can't have you the way you two have each other and it kills me." "Oh." Duo seemed at a loss for words. "When Duo gave you the key to our apartment he did it because we want you there, with us, all of the time. He gave you the key because you aren't a guest, because you are a part of our lives and we want you there, we want to go home with you and share a bed with you and wake up with you. And you aren't the only selfish one, or the only jealous one here," Trowa added. "I'm selfish and jealous and greedy and I want you - I want time with you and Duo and time with you and me and yes, I want time with me and Duo, but I don't want it instead of time with you. I want everything." "I'm sorry," Duo said, "about the permission thing, about being stupid and thinking the two of you would fall in love and walk away from me. It took me a few months to get over myself and realize that that wasn't going to happen. You don't need permission to be with either of us - or both of us. And I'm sorry, I guess, that Trowa and I have our past together, I'm not sorry for it - but I'm sorry you think it makes what we have with you less or you less important. I never wanted you to feel like a guest or - or an outsider in this." Duo ran a hand through his hair. "I fucked this up and I'm sorry I -" "You haven't fucked anything up," Heero insisted. "I'm the one who wants more and -" "We want more too," Trowa interrupted him. Heero stared at him. "We need more," Trowa continued. "I need more. I need you. I need you as my friend and my lover." Heero continued to stare, a slight frown on his face and Trowa could tell that Heero wanted to give in, wanted to stop fighting. "Duo needs you too," Trowa continued and he stepped towards to Duo and pulled him close, Duo's back pressed against his front. Trowa rested his hands on Duo's hips, waiting for Heero's attention to drift there before he slowly started to raise Duo's shirt up his torso, skimming his hands over Duo's firm flesh. "He needs you to show him how the machines in the hotel gym work," Trowa said as he pulled the shirt over Duo's head. Duo shivered in the chill of the hotel room and as Trowa ran his hands back down Duo's chest he could feel his nipples already hard from the cold. "He needs you to stand by him when he faces his nightmares." Trowa toyed with Duo's hard nipples, rolling and pinching them until Duo gasped and Heero's eyes narrowed. "He needs you to remind him how strong he is, how brilliant and undefeatable he is." Duo moaned and threw his head back, resting it on Trowa's shoulder as he continued to tease him. "He needs you to make him laugh at your obscure sports references that no one else understands." Duo gave a throaty chuckle at that, the sound pure sex and Heero was visibly affected by it. Trowa abandoned Duo's chest and traced his fingers over the planes of Duo's stomach, down to his hips and under the waistband of Duo's sweatpants. "He needs you to remind him that he has something to look forward to after spending hours and days and weeks on divorce cases." Trowa slowly tugged the sweatpants down Duo's hips. They caught on his erection until Trowa pulled them past it, and Duo's cock sprang free. The sweatpants fell to Duo's ankles but he made no move to step out of them or away from Trowa. "Apparently he needs you to remind him to wear underwear when he goes to the gym," Trowa muttered. Duo chuckled again and Heero smirked. Trowa could see the evidence of Heero's arousal tenting the front of his sweatpants, but Heero remained several feet away, still watching, still waiting. Trowa ran his hands over Duo's thighs, kneading the firm flesh until Duo was flexing and spreading his legs, desperate for more attention. Trowa raked his short nails over the inside of Duo's thighs and he made an inarticulate sound. "He needs you to help him with dirty little surprises for my birthday," Trowa said and Duo, head still thrown back, nodded eagerly. "He needs you to go to Yankee Stadium with him when the Red Sox are in town and make sure he doesn't get into a fight with fourteen year olds over who has the better team." Trowa ghosted his fingers over Duo's balls and his cock, running them up to the head and smearing the bead of precum there. Duo's hips jerked forward. "He needs you to trust him when he says he loves you and wants you in his life." Heero swallowed hard at that. Trowa wrapped his hand around Duo's cock and stroked him, firm and fast, the way Duo always liked it. "But right now, more than anything else, Duo needs you to fuck him, Heero." Heero still made no move forward. Duo moaned. "Please, 'Ro," he panted and Trowa watched the effect of Duo's voice and Duo's words transform Heero's face. Heero crossed the room, sandwiching Duo between them, and kissed Trowa. Trowa kept one hand on Duo's cock but wrapped his other around Heero's neck, keeping him close. The press of Heero's tongue against his own was electric and Trowa shuddered. He couldn't imagine anything better than this - Duo naked and writhing against him while Heero kissed him like there was nothing in the world worth doing except kissing him. He felt Duo's hands on Heero, tugging at his clothes and massaging his cock through the sweatpants, their hands bumping against each other. "Bedroom," Duo said. Heero pulled back from the kiss and stared at Trowa with lust darkened eyes. "I can't even think when you look at me like that," Trowa told him. Heero smirked and kissed him again. Duo wiggled out of Trowa's grip and knelt between them, tugging down Heero's sweatpants and, judging by Heero's sharp intake of breath, sucking on his cock. Trowa pulled Heero's shirt off and started to kiss and lick his way down Heero's chest and waist until he was kneeling beside Duo. Together they licked Heero's cock, suckled on his balls and Heero moaned. Duo grinned at him and then stood up, letting Trowa take over while he kissed Heero. Trowa reached out to continue stroking Duo's cock and he listened to the moans and gasps of the two men as he worked their erections, sucking on Heero's cock and stroking Duo's until he had both men close to orgasm. "I want you inside me, 'Ro," he heard Duo say and he felt Heero shudder. Trowa pulled away and looked up at them, at their glazed eyes and flushed faces. They were beautiful, absolutely perfect, and they were his. "Bedroom?" Duo suggested again, and this time Heero nodded. He looked down at Trowa. "You're a little overdressed," he commented. Trowa stood up and pulled down his pajamas, gratified that both men looked at his naked body hungrily. "Better?" He asked. Heero nodded in approval. "Much." Duo grinned and kissed Heero again. "Where do you want Trowa? While you're fucking me?" "I want you inside me," Heero said, looking at Trowa. "I need you." Trowa nodded. "I need you," he replied and Heero's lips turned upwards. Trowa found the lube in Duo's carry-on - he had no idea why Duo had put it in his carry-on instead of the luggage he had checked, but at the moment he didn't care all that much. He joined them on the bed and squeezed some onto his fingers before passing it to Heero. Duo laid down and spread his legs wide so that Heero could kneel between them and Trowa settled himself behind Heero. This was one of his favorite positions, fucking Heero while he fucked Duo, each thrust of his cock sending Heero's deeper inside of Duo, listening to all of them moan and gasp, listening to Duo beg for more, watching Duo's eyes widen and his jaw go slack when he came, feeling the clench of Heero's body around his as Duo's orgasm triggered his and in turn, coming deep inside Heero's body as Heero whispered their names and clutched Duo's hips. Trowa took his time preparing Heero, slowly stretching him with his fingers and teasing his prostate until Heero was trembling. "Please," Heero said. "I need more." Trowa wondered if this was going to become a thing - saying they needed something. "So does Duo," Trowa told him and kissed his shoulder. Heero had been taking his time with Duo as well, and Trowa waited and watched while Heero slid his cock inside Duo's anus. Duo moaned at the sensation. "Yes," he said. "Fuck you feel good, 'Ro. I've missed having your cock inside me." Heero leaned forward to kiss Duo and Trowa took the opportunity to ease himself into Heero, working the head of his cock past the tight ring of muscle. Heero groaned, still kissing Duo, and Trowa slid home, burying himself deep inside of Heero. He pulled out and then slid back in, carrying Heero forward into Duo and both men moaned. Yes, this was definitely one of Trowa's favorite positions. He set a slow pace, fucking both of them leisurely, enjoying the tight sheath of Heero's body around him, the tremble of his thighs, the taste of sweat on his skin. Duo started to stroke himself and Trowa knew he was close, knew that Duo could probably come from having his ass fucked alone but that he liked to control it sometimes, liked triggering his own orgasm because it got the rest of them off as well. Sure enough, when Duo came with a gasp, Heero followed and Trowa did as well. Afterwards, they lay on the bed in a mess of sticky flesh and Trowa didn't think he had ever had a better start to a day than this. -o- On Christmas Eve Heero and Trowa sat on the couch reading while Duo called his mother. "I'm surprised you don't spend Christmas with her," Heero said, distracted from his book by Duo's pacing. Trowa grinned as he remembered the first night he and Duo had been together, that last night of their internship five years ago when they had planned out their engagement, their wedding and honeymoon, vacation home and Christmas's in Paris. "We agreed from the start on Christmas in Paris." Heero arched an eyebrow, clearly wanting to ask but hesitant to do so. "When Duo gets off the phone we'll have to tell you how we met." Heero settled back on the couch and leaned against Trowa. "Is this the kind of story that involves late nights and legal briefs or hot sex?" "Both," Trowa assured him. "If you're interested, we can even re-enact some of it for you." Heero chuckled. "Sounds good." Trowa heard Duo telling his mother about the symphony they had attended last night and he found himself growing aroused at the memory. The symphony had been enjoyable - it had been a collection of holiday-esque classical music performed at La Sainte Chapelle - but Trowa had quickly learned that Heero had about as much affinity for classical music as Duo did, and all three of them had enjoyed themselves at the hotel room, after the concert, more than they had enjoyed the concert itself. He had allowed Duo and Heero to collect that raincheck from months ago, when he had promised to let them do whatever they wanted to him, and it had resulted in several hours of torture as the two men truly had their way with him. He had tied Duo up, once, a few years ago, but had never had the favor returned until last night. Duo had taken it one step further, however, and blindfolded him as well. As a result, he had to rely on memory to determine whose mouth was on his cock and whose teeth were biting his nipples, whose cock he sucked, whose ass rode his cock, whose cum he tasted on his lips. "How is your sister?" Heero asked him, drawing Trowa's mind out of the gutter as he wondered whether or not he could subtly convince Duo and Heero to do that to him again in the future. "She's good," Trowa told him. "She has a show tonight but then she's off for a few days. I'll have to call her tomorrow." Christmas was not his and Catharine's favorite time of the year. They had too many fond memories of Christmas spent with their parents as children. So, unlike Duo who annually had to do battle with Helen to win her agreement to not join them in Paris for Christmas, Trowa had always had Catharine's blessing to spend the holiday screwing like rabbits under the mistletoe, as she liked to say. "Okay. Mom says hi." Duo finally ended his call and joined them on the couch, flopping down so that his head was in Trowa's lap and his feet dangled over the other end of the couch. "Really?" Trowa had to ask. Duo nodded. "Yeah. Well, she said to tell Heero hi when we saw him next and she said that she hoped you enjoyed the concert last night." Trowa arched an eyebrow. It was a far cry from merry Christmas, but it was still the nicest thing she had likely ever said. Duo poked Heero in the side. "What about you? Any phone calls you want to make to wish someone a Merry Christmas before we go out for dinner?" Heero shook his head, a dark look on his face. "Not Wufei? Not your... family?" "My family would rather never speak to me again, and after I told Wufei I was coming to Paris with you two he would rather not speak to me again for the next few months." Trowa couldn't really blame Wufei for feeling that way. "So, remember how we keep saying we should talk about things?" Duo said, his blue gaze focused on Heero's tense face. "I'm thinking this is one of those things we need to talk about." Apparently need was going to become a thing for them after all. "Wufei -" "Not him so much, unless you want to," Duo quickly added. "I meant your family." Heero sighed. "You want to know about my family." "Yeah. Or at least why you never talk about them or spend holidays with them." He sat up and his face was set in determined lines. Trowa had been confronted with that look before, and judging by the way Heero's shoulders slumped, he had as well. "I never spend holidays with them because they disowned me. I don't talk about them because there's not much to say." "Why did they disown you?" Trowa asked. He could see Duo's anger building and he knew that Duo was already a heartbeat away from full on crusade mode. "Because I let my sister die." "What?" Duo was startled out of his righteous anger. "When I was fifteen. My sister and I were walking on the street and she dropped her bag and I let go of her hand and she fell and a bus ran over her. I - I let her die." Duo stared at him, mouth open in horror. The look on Heero's face made it clear that he expected them to hate him for this revelation, and Trowa felt his own share of righteous anger at Heero's expression. "That's why you tried to kill yourself," Duo said. Heero nodded. Trowa had seen the scar on Heero's wrist, had known immediately what it had to mean. He had assumed that Heero would talk to them about it when he was ready. Like many other things Trowa had assumed, that was clearly not the case. "You're an idiot," Duo said. "A complete fucking idiot." "I know," Heero cleared his throat. "I failed her. I failed them and -" "No," Duo interrupted him angrily. "You didn't fail her or them. They failed you. It - it was an accident! It wasn't your fucking fault!" Heero shook his head. "I was supposed to protect her and -" "What could you have done differently?" Trowa asked him. He realized belatedly that he and Duo had spent most of the week interrupting Heero, but, to be fair to them, Heero had been in the process of saying a lot of stupid things this week. "What?" Heero seemed surprised by Trowa's question and the even tone he delivered it in. "What could you have done differently? When she died - what could you have changed to prevent her death?" "I could have held her hand tighter," Heero whispered. "Really?" Trowa held out his own hand. "Show me how tightly you held onto her." Heero looked at him with haunted eyes. "Show me." Trowa knew he was speaking coldly, knew he had slipped into lawyer mode and he realized that Heero hadn't seen him like this before. He didn't do this often outside of the courtroom, had only ever done this to Duo twice - once when he had freaked out about the possibility of not being named a junior partner and then last year, when Duo had asked him to, had wanted to have Trowa cold and distant with Sex Me Your Honor hair as they fucked. This wasn't like either of those times. Heero reluctantly took hold of Trowa's wrist. Trowa tugged sharply and Heero's fingers tightened. Trowa tugged, twisting his wrist and breaking free. "How old was she?" "Eight." "So her hand was smaller than mine. And you were fifteen. Your grip wasn't as strong then as it is now. What time of year was it?" "Early December. It was snowing." Early December. Trowa exchanged a look with Duo. They had both taken note of that day Wufei showed up at the office, at the resigned look on Heero's face as they walked down the hall together. They clearly hadn't been sneaking off for an afternoon fuck. "So you were wearing gloves," Trowa concluded. Heero nodded. "Knit ones or -" "Nylon." "Slippery, then, when it's wet. There's no way you could have held onto a little girl's hand under those conditions." Heero opened his mouth to argue, but Trowa continued. "What else could you have done differently?" "I could have tried to pick her up or -" "How much time elapsed between her falling and the bus hitting her?" Heero frowned. "Maybe ten or fifteen seconds." Trowa could not even begin to imagine how awful that had been for Heero. He forced himself to remain focused. "Duo, stand up." Duo gave him a sharp look and shook his head. "Duo," he repeated, adding a pleading note to his voice. Maybe he was taking this too far, but he knew Heero well enough by now to know that he was someone who dealt in concrete facts. Sitting here and telling Heero he was an idiot and that it wasn't his fault meant nothing unless they could prove it to him. Duo sighed and stood up. Trowa did so as well and guided him over to a clear area. Trowa held out his hand and Duo took it, a worried look on his face. "On the count of three, let go of my hand and fall down," he instructed Duo. "We can see how long -" "No," Heero jumped up from the couch. His voice was ragged. "No. I can't - I can't watch Duo die too." That brought Trowa up short. "Fuck," Duo muttered. He let go of Trowa's hand and walked over to Heero and pulled him close in a tight hug. "You're right," Heero breathed. "You're right, Trowa. I couldn't have saved her. There was nothing I could do." Trowa felt like a complete and utter asshole. He had not wanted to make Heero feel helpless. He had simply wanted him to understand that - that he had been helpless, Trowa realized. He sighed and approached the two men, hesitating for a moment before wrapping his arms around Heero as well. "I couldn't save my Dad or my brother," Duo said, his voice thick with emotion. Trowa swallowed hard. He hated hearing Duo's voice like that. "I couldn't save my parents," he whispered against Heero's hair. "But you saved me, Heero," Duo said. "You saved me and you saved us. It's not the same. It's not - we aren't her. We aren't them. But you saved us." Trowa nodded in agreement. "Let us return the favor," he said, hoping Heero understood just how much he wanted to, how much he and Duo needed to. -o- On Christmas morning Trowa woke up alone again. He doubted that Duo and Heero were at the hotel gym - they had gone twice that week, once with Trowa, but after last night Trowa doubted either man would be up for the exercise. They had skipped dinner and instead spent most of the night sitting on the couch, talking about their pasts, sharing the details of those they had loved and lost. It had been painful, and not at all what Trowa had envisioned doing on Christmas Eve when they had planned this trip and he had purchased Heero's ticket, but it had been necessary and cathartic. He had told Duo about his parents years ago, and Duo given him a few details about his father and brother, but they hadn't spoken about them at length, not until last night. By the time they crawled into bed it was two in the morning and sex had been the farthest thing from Trowa's mind until Heero, curled around Duo, had leaned over and kissed him goodnight, his lips lingering for a moment and his tongue softly running over Trowa's mouth until he opened for him. They had taken it slow, touching each other reverently, lovingly, lavishing attention on each other's bodies, trying to kiss and caress away the pain and loss. When Trowa came, buried deep inside of Heero, Duo inside of him, it had felt like release and forgiveness and acceptance and Trowa had had to swallow back a lump in his throat. He wasn't sure he needed to feel like that often, but he had certainly needed it last night. An investigation of the living room revealed Duo and Heero hastily decorating a holly tree in a pot. Trowa leaned against the bedroom doorway and crossed his arms while he watched them. They had never bothered with a tree or even a tree substitute in the past - but before last night, Duo hadn't known that Trowa didn't like Christmas trees because they reminded Trowa of picking out a tree with his father every year. They must have gotten up early to go out and buy decorations - Trowa didn't even know where they had found the tree - and on the coffee table there was a spread of fruit and pastries. Duo's father had apparently always cooked a huge breakfast on Christmas morning, and Christmas morning was the one day of the year when Duo always slept in until nearly noon so that he could avoid eating breakfast. And this, Trowa had learned last night, would be the first Christmas Heero had celebrated with anyone since his sister's death. Duo turned and caught sight of Trowa standing there. He grinned at him. "Morning, lazy." Trowa rolled his eyes. "It's not even nine - I am not lazy." He looked over their tree as Duo and Heero backed away from it. "Where did you even find that?" Duo looked sheepish and Heero smirked. "Don't tell me you stole it!" "Stole is a pretty harsh way of putting it," Duo said and Heero chuckled. "I maybe borrowed it from the tea room downstairs while Heero distracted a waiter." Trowa turned to Heero and arched an eyebrow. "You encouraged this?" Heero shrugged. "He would have done it anyway. I just made sure he wasn't caught." Trowa rolled his eyes and then kissed both of them. "If I wake up tomorrow to find you two in a prison cell I will not bail you out," he warned. "I don't think they'll call in the gendarmes over a holly tree," Duo said, "but if they do I'll keep that in mind." Trowa noticed that there was already a small gathering of presents under the tree. Duo followed his gaze. "Why don't we eat and then open them?" He suggested. Trowa nodded in agreement. "I'll get mine," he told them. He had felt like a bit of a fool this year. He only had one gift to give and he had, up until yesterday, still not known whether or not he would give it. After last night, however, he finally thought that he had made a good decision. He placed the small box under the tree, ignoring Duo's raised eyebrow, and joined them for breakfast. None of them were overly eager to open the gifts, but eventually Duo suggested they get it over with so they could spend the rest of the day in bed together. Trowa didn't necessarily need the hint - Duo almost without fail, gave him sexually themed Christmas, birthday and anniversary presents. It seemed that Duo had a hard time taking the idea of thoughtful or romantic gifts seriously on these special occasions, but for the rest of the year, at the times when Trowa least expected it, Duo would surprise him with a romantic gift or gesture, so Trowa didn't begrudge Duo's sex themed gifts. Especially since they always led to sex. "Okay, who wants to go first?" Duo asked. "I will," Heero said and passed a slim, rectangular box towards Trowa and a slightly larger one to Duo. Duo carefully opened his, tearing the thick silver paper wrapping the box with precision. He opened up the box inside and revealed a swim cap, goggles and a pair or red and black jammers. "Just... in case you do want to swim with us sometime," Heero said. Duo stared at the box and then over at Heero. Trowa had asked Duo several times over the years to join him, but he had never gone so far as to buy him swim gear - he had assumed that Duo could just share his. But it was clear, from the look on Duo's face, that Heero's gesture of inclusion, the invitation to join them, meant a lot to him. "Thanks," Duo said. He looked over at Trowa. "I will," he promised. Trowa smiled at him, sure he looked like an idiot, but Duo smiled back. He leaned over and kissed Heero. "Thank you," he said again. Trowa kissed him as well, hoping Heero could understand his gratitude. He pulled back and Heero looked at him warmly. He understood. Trowa opened his own gift. It was a Kindle. He sighed and glared at Duo. Duo held up his hands in self-defense. "I said nothing. I swear." Heero arched an eyebrow. "I've been saying he should get one for years, but he keeps telling me he doesn't need it," Duo explained. Heero smirked. "Well, now you have one." "Thank you," Trowa said. He did appreciate the gift - and he had wanted one for years now, he just hadn't felt like getting one. It had seemed like a betrayal of his small collection of books. Still, this meant he could read in bed without having to keep on a separate light now - which Duo and Heero would certainly appreciate. It would also be easy to take on his many trips. "I did need it," he added. He reached under the tree for his gift, knowing Duo would likely want to save his until last in any case - and if this gift went over badly maybe they would need whatever sexual gifts Duo had picked out to ease the tension. He put the small box between Duo and Heero. "It's for both of you," he said. Duo and Heero exchanged looks. Duo unwrapped the box and then handed it to Heero to open. The box itself was small and wooden, well worn around the edges and the varnish thin and faded. Heero opened it and picked up the set of keys inside. "Umm," Duo said. "We've always wanted to share a key ring?" Trowa glared at him and waited for Heero to look at the fob on the key ring. "These are for the Peacemillion," he said. Duo stared. "What - when - how?" Trowa smirked, thoroughly pleased with himself. He had approached Howard in early November, thinking that with Heero, Duo finally had someone who enjoyed sailing. Trowa didn't mind tagging along, but he knew Duo had enjoyed sailing with Heero onboard the Peacemillion more than any day he had enjoyed sailing with Trowa. Heero, too, had seemed in love with the boat. Howard had been wanting to sell her for several years, had hinted at it to Trowa the first time Duo took her out, but Trowa hadn't thought the time was right. He was more than a little impressed that he had managed to arrange the whole thing without Duo's notice. He had accumulated a few bonuses, recently, and been able to put a down payment on the boat without going into their joint account for the money. "Thank you," Heero said, his voice somber. Duo was drawn out of his shock by that and he leaned over and kissed Heero. "'Ro, think of all the weekends we're going to spend out at the Cape sailing her. We can take her out while Trowa goes golfing and then come home and take him to bed, still smelling and tasting like the ocean... or we can drag him along with us and spend all day and all night fucking him on our boat." Heero swallowed hard. "Sounds good," he allowed. "You won't have to drag me along if you promise to fuck me," Trowa muttered in mock anger. Duo grinned. "Oh I promise," he assured Trowa and then crawled over and kissed him. "Thank you. This means a lot." Duo sat back and winked. "And now it's time for my gifts." Trowa had to roll his eyes. They more or less were Duo's gifts - to himself. He unwrapped his and groaned. It was a boy scout costume. The dress shirt looked very tight and the shorts very short, but it was unmistakably a boy scout costume. "Duo," he started. "Hey - I told you, back when we first met, that I wanted to have sex with a boy scout. I've let you off the hook every single Halloween, but it's time. I want to have a sexy boy scout give me a blow job." Trowa sighed. "Fine." He wouldn't bring himself to say thank you, even though he was sure he would enjoy it. Heero looked at his own box with trepidation as he figured out how unlikely it was that Duo had gifted him with something as thoughtful or romantic as Duo had been given. Slowly, he opened the box and then he glared. "You have got to be joking," he finally said. "Nope," Duo assured him with a grin. "Look, it's even got boots and wrist cuffs and -" Trowa leaned over to see just what the hell Duo had given Heero and he couldn't stop his snort of laughter. It was a He Man costume. Heero transferred his glare from Duo to Trowa. "Come on," Duo wheedled. "I know you've always wanted to wear a... fur loincloth and an... x-thing across your chest." "Oddly, I haven't always wanted to do that," Heero muttered. "Well, it's Christmas. The season of giving - and you would be very, very ungrateful if you didn't at least try it on for me. Both of you." Heero sighed and lifted it out of the box, revealing yet another element. "It has a wig," he snarled. "Well yeah, your hair is a little short and dark to be He Man worthy." Heero gave Trowa a long suffering look. Trowa nodded in sympathy. "It seems... unseasonal," Heero decided, "for Trowa and I to have these costumes and you to have nothing." Duo smirked. "Well, I've got those jammers you bought me," he said, and the mental image of Duo in them had Trowa's cock twitching in anticipation. "Or... I did pack the stockings and garter belt from Trowa's birthday. Your choice." -o-
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