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" Together "Written By: CalicOcat
Pairing: 1x2, 3x4 mentioned Rating: R Warnings: OOC, Swearing, Alternating POV, Implied
Lemon Disclaimer: Duo and Heero and the rest of the GW gang aren't mine. This story is. Nuff said. Notes: Starts during the war and runs right through to post-EW. May be slight and very vague spoilers. 'Thinking' Author's Notes: Feedback is appreciated. ################################################# "Together " Chapter 1 Duo brushed out his hair carefully. Finally deciding
that it was dry enough to braid, he realized with a groan of dismay
that he'd forgotten to bring an elastic in with him. Not to mention
a change of clothes. He'd been in too big a hurry to get cleaned up;
crawling around in storm sewers was just - gross. But it had been
the best way to get in and out of that Oz research facility. And at
least the mission had gone smoothly. He just hoped that Heero's had
gone as well. He'd had a search-and-destroy mission to take out the
shipboard lab that was working in conjunction with the place that
Duo had just raided and blown. Duo threw a hasty glance at his watch. He'd been in
the shower longer than he'd hoped; his hair had been a major gunky
mess. Heero could be back any time now. 'Aw shit... Dammit, I hope
he isn't back yet. He'll get pissed about me running around in just
a towel, I just know he will...' Wufei sure had the one time Duo had made a dash from the bathroom back to his room wearing one. 'You'd have thought I'd tried to proposition him or
something, the way he acted. Comin' out about my own sexual orientation
in support of Q and Tro really shook the poor guy up.' Duo shook his
head slightly at the memory. Wufei had settled down some but he wouldn't
room with any of them and Duo was pretty sure he locked his door at
night too. Why he seemed to think being gay or bi meant that they'd
feel the need to try something with him, Duo just did not understand.
His only interest in Wufei was as a friend and comrade in arms; he
just hoped that eventually Wufei got over his snit enough to qualify
as a friend again. He sure as hell didn't feel the slightest flicker
of attraction to the Chinese pilot. Now Heero, on the other hand... 'Forget it, Maxwell.
You're lucky he didn't get his spandex in a twist over your revelation;
lucky that he's still willing to room and work with you. Don't blow
it by letting him see your interest. The two of you work together
too fucking well to risk that for a little physical release.' And that's all it would be; all it *could* be under
the circumstances. He knew that damn well. They were young and under
a hell of a lot of pressure. Being in near-constant mortal danger
kind of did that to a person. Heero had trouble handling friendship
under these circumstances, whatever sort of hell his training had
put him through had really fucked up his ability to deal with emotions.
Duo didn't doubt that he *had* them; he just kept them locked up tight
and tried to ignore them. He could understand that; he did his damnedest
to keep his own under tight wraps. He couldn't let anyone too close;
losing people hurt too damn bad and he couldn't afford the distraction.
Neither he nor Heero were good candidates for the sort
of relationship Q and Tro had; one that went well beyond the physical.
Not right now, anyway. Someday, when the war was over and they had
a chance to get their heads straightened out - maybe. Assuming, of course, that Heero would even be interested.
Duo really had no idea what orientation he was. Though the odds of
him being anything *other* than straight were pretty damn slim. Three
out of five Gundam pilots being either gay or bi was already one hell
of a weird coincidence. Cautiously opening the bathroom door, Duo listened intently
for a moment. He didn't hear anyone else in the small apartment...
Though that didn't mean much; Heero was practically noiseless most
of the time. 'No clicking laptop keys though... And if he was back,
he'd be on that thing right away, sending in his mission report. So
I'm probably clear.' Slipping quickly down the hall, Duo darted into the
apartment's single bedroom. And literally ran right into Heero. 'Shit.'
Keeping his gaze fixed at shoulder height - he didn't want Heero to
think he was coming on to him - Duo hurriedly apologized, "Oops,
sorry, Heero, didn't think you were back yet. Man, those storm sewers
were gross; couldn't wait to get in the shower and get all that guck
off me. Sorry 'bout the towel, forgot to take clean stuff in with
me, just gimme a sec to grab some clothes and I'll go get dressed."
Finally running out of breath, Duo paused for a second, wondering
why the hell Heero was still in his way. Still *touching* him in fact,
the other pilot had thrown one arm around him and the other against
the doorframe to keep them both from falling when they'd collided.
Heero usually avoided physical contact with anybody; why was he still
holding on to Duo? "Your hair..." Heero said softly. Duo brought
his eyes up from Heero's collarbone to his face, startled. Heero was
staring at where Duo's hair had tumbled over his shoulder and over
Heero's arm where it was outstretched to brace against the doorframe.
"It's so - long... And soft..." Duo blinked. Heero's voice sounded almost - awed? "Umm...
yeah..." 'I guess I've never had him - hell, had *any* of them
- actually catch me with it down before... Don't usually like people
seeing it that way...' But he guessed that he didn't really mind Heero
seeing it, especially not since the other pilot seemed so impressed
with it. Abruptly, Duo realized that Heero must have been in
the middle of changing when he came in. The other youth's chest was
as bare as his own and Duo was becoming all too aware of how good
the skin contact felt. How arousing Heero's very masculine scent -
the smell of explosives and grease and sweat and *Heero* - was. "Uh,
Heero, could you maybe, uh, let me go now?" he suggested cautiously.
"So I can get dressed?" 'Before *you* realize just how arousing
I'm finding this?' he added silently. He didn't think Heero would
*hurt* him if he figured it out; he needed to be in top physical condition
in order to go on missions after all and for Heero, missions were
all-important. But it could really make it damn uncomfortable for
them to work together. Heero's eyes raised to meet Duo's. "I'd rather
you didn't." 'What the hell is *that* supposed to mean?!' Duo wondered.
Heero's eyes stayed locked with his own as Heero shifted position,
sliding his hand lower on Duo's back to hold him in place while he
brought their hips together. Duo's breath left him in a whoosh of
startled comprehension. Heero was just as aroused as he was. "Or I could help you get *un*dressed..." Duo
suggested a bit hesitantly. Heero stepping back - and taking Duo's
towel with him - was all the answer he needed. *** Heero watched Duo sleep and brooded. He should have
been gone by now; should have been on board Libra and well into the
process of extricating Relena from the consequences of her latest
bit of idiocy. A few months ago, he would have left the moment he
received the information that she was on the other ship. He wouldn't
have hesitated to leave his "fuck buddy" behind no matter
how interested the other youth might be in someone else. Now, though,
he'd seen the concern on Duo's face as he watched that girl who'd
brought the information wheeled into sickbay and he'd felt the need
to stay long enough to reinforce their physical bond. To remind Duo
that he was with *him*. That *he* was the one who could reduce Duo
to frantic begging with his touch. The one who could make him scream
with the force of his release. Not that - girl. At first, that was all it had been for either of them.
They were young, they were horny, and the sex had been an escape from
the harsh reality of war. A small indulgence; a few moments of stolen
pleasure. But somewhere along the way, things had changed. 'Or at
least, they did for me. I *need* him now. Not just anyone. *Him.*
Duo Maxwell.' Heero needed him to an alarming degree. Needed Duo in
his life, not just in his bed. Needed him far, far more than any soldier
should need *anyone*. But he didn't know whether Duo felt the same way. The
only promise between them was one of exclusivity. A promise not to
get involved with anyone else without formally informing the other
first. Not exactly an emotional commitment to say the least. Feelings were something that they'd both completely
avoided discussing from the first time he'd buried himself in Duo's
willing body. He couldn't really say that he'd "taken" Duo;
Duo had *given* himself to Heero. Just as he so willingly gave friendship
and comfort and all the other things that Heero had come to need from
him. Heero didn't know what he'd do if the war ended and the relationship
between them ended with it. 'Don't think about it,' he ordered himself sharply.
'One step at a time. Get up and go rescue that damn girl again so
hopefully she can help bring this fucking war to its end. Worry about
what happens next once there's a "next" to worry about.'
Slipping from the bed, Heero quickly and silently dressed.
He had a job to do. Before leaving the room, he bent and pressed a
soft kiss to Duo's temple. "I need you. Don't get dead,"
he murmured almost inaudibly. Duo never even stirred. Heero hadn't
expected him to; he'd worn him out on purpose. He knew that Duo would
have insisted on going after Relena with him and that would have been
a problem. On a purely instinctive level, Relena seemed to recognize
the threat that Duo posed to her own plans for Heero and she was inevitably
nasty to him. Heero didn't think he could stomach that right now;
he'd end up alienating the girl by defending Duo and that would be
a bad thing at the moment. If she was going to be instrumental in
achieving peace, she was going to be in a position to either do a
great deal of good or a great deal of harm to the futures of all five
Gundam pilots and their supporters. There was no point antagonizing
her until after that was settled. Heero paused in the doorway, turning for one last look
at Duo sleeping peacefully, sated and content. He allowed himself
one moment of longing, one moment of aching to just take Duo and leave,
of wishing to have this all over with, of hoping that their relationship
meant as much to Duo as it did to him, of daring to dream of a happy
life together after the war. Then he locked those feelings away again,
submerged himself in the soldier, and left to do his job with the
cold efficiency that was expected of him. *** Scrambling down from Deathscythe's cockpit, Duo had
a single thought in his mind - reaching Heero and kissing the hell
out of him before chewing him out for cutting things so damn close
when he went after the falling chunk of Libra. He spotted Heero descending
from Wing Zero and waved joyously, receiving a faint hint of a smile
in return. Heero jumped lightly from the slowly descending lift-line
before it reached ground level and started towards Duo. Duo jumped
the last short distance to the ground and directed his own hasty steps
towards Heero. But before they met, Relena intercepted Heero. Duo's
steps slowed as those faint hints of happiness vanished from Heero's
face, returning it to its usual stoic expression. Heero's gaze met
his for an instant and Heero mouthed a silent, "Later,"
before following Relena away from the Gundams. Standing in the midst of all the bustle, much of the
excitement and joy over the war ending was abruptly gone for Duo.
He was still glad that it was over with - but the happiness was no
longer there on a personal level. He had thought that with the war
over, things would change for the better in other ways as well. That
he and Heero wouldn't have to settle for a few stolen moments together.
That they would no longer have to answer the demands of duty over
their own personal preferences. 'Guess I was wrong... Duty still comes first... Either
that or...' Duo swallowed hard and pushed the thought away. He really
didn't want to consider the fact that maybe it wasn't duty that had
taken precedence over his reunion with Heero. That maybe Heero had actually preferred to leave with
Relena. *** "Heero? Where are you going?" Relena demanded,
clutching at Heero's arm. "Out," he replied abruptly, silently cursing
the fact that she had spotted him emerging from his room. "Your
meetings are finished for the day; my presence is not required while
you are at home. The estate's security is sufficient." "Oh, but I won't be at home!" Relena exclaimed
happily. "The L4 consulate is holding a celebratory dinner tonight;
I will need you to escort me." "That was not on your schedule," Heero scowled
darkly, seeing his chance at a few stolen hours with Duo slipping
away. He had been eagerly anticipating an evening with the other pilot
all day. 'All I wanted was a few fucking hours with the one person
in the whole damn universe that I actually *want* to be with... A
few hours of something approaching happiness... Is that really too
damn much to ask for?' Apparently, it was. *** "Duo, have you decided yet?" Hilde inquired
impatiently. "I really have to head back to L2 so you need to
make up your mind whether you're coming too or not." Duo raked one hand through his bangs and sighed heavily.
He didn't really want to go. He wanted to stay with Heero. He'd hoped that with the war over Heero might be willing
to open up a little, let their relationship get at least a little
deeper. But he'd barely even seen Heero since that last time they'd
been together on the _Peacemillion_ and each of those times had been
in very public places and from a distance. At first he'd figured it
would just take a few days, maybe a couple of weeks tops, for things
to settle down. He'd figured that once the peace accord had been hammered
out and signed, Heero wouldn't need to guard Relena personally anymore
and would come looking for him. That Heero's "Later" had
meant that Heero *would* come looking for him. But it hadn't happened. 'Guess I was the only one who
wanted more from our relationship...' he thought unhappily. Sometimes,
the way that Heero had looked at him or touched him or said his name
had almost made him think... 'Something that obviously wasn't true.
Stop lying to yourself, Maxwell. He's got a chance to build a relationship
with Relena now; he doesn't need you. Happily ever after only happens
in fairy tales; you should know that by now. 'Might as well go back to L2 with Hilde; at least she
can use your help at the salvage yard.' "Alright, I'll come," he said unenthusiastically.
"Got nothin' better to do." 'And maybe heavy physical labour
will make the ache of loneliness more bearable...' "Gee thanks, Duo, you make me feel so *special*,"
Hilde said sarcastically. "Sorry, Hil," he apologized. "I just..."
he let his voice trail off and shrugged. "I just had hoped something
different would happen and it hasn't. It's not that I don't appreciate
the job offer 'cause I do." "He's an idiot," Hilde said, following Duo's
gaze to the TV screen showing Relena speaking at yet another press
conference. Duo choked, "What?" He hadn't realized Hilde
knew... "Heero Yuy is an idiot," she stated flatly.
"You're worth ten of that - that - sheltered little snob."
Gaping, Duo managed to say faintly, "I didn't know
you knew..." "Duo, I'd have to be blind not to have noticed
the way you watch him," Hilde told him. 'Shit,' he thought frantically. If he was that obvious...
"Oh *crap*," he swore. "I haven't been *that* obvious,
have I? Hil? You don't think - *he* knows?" He turned his gaze
back towards the TV screen, watching the silent shadow that followed
Relena as she left the press conference. Hilde hesitated, then shrugged slightly. "I really
don't know. It seems obvious to me but... Well, maybe that's just
because I was watching *you* the same way." Alarmed, Duo spun to face her. "Hilde, I'm not...
I can't..." She pressed her hand to Duo's mouth for a moment, silencing
him. "I know. Figured that out already." Hilde gave him
a resigned grin. "You're already 'taken' whether anything ever
comes of it or not. Figuring that out didn't hurt as bad as I thought
it would; I'll be okay. Don't turn down the job offer just because
of my little ol' crush; I'll get over it." "If you're sure..." Hilde nodded. "Then yeah, I guess I'll head back with you and
take the job." Duo forced a grin, "Least you need my help;
he's never needed a damn thing from me or anybody." "You want to talk to him before we leave?"
Hilde asked. "Just in case?" Duo considered the suggestion for a moment. "No,"
he decided abruptly. "He said 'Later' and, hell, it's definitely
'later' and he still hasn't tried to reach me; guess that's answer
enough. If he changes his mind - well, he'll know where to find me.
I'll send him a note with that much info." He wouldn't chase
after Heero the way that Relena did. If Heero wanted him, he could
come looking for him. He wasn't actually mad at Heero or anything - disappointed,
yeah, but not mad. They'd never discussed the future at all so it
wasn't like Heero had let him down. He just wasn't about to wreck
the memory of what they *did* have by being dumb enough to actually
ask for something more. The sex that had started out as an escape
from reality had become something more for him and he'd dared to imagine
that it might have for Heero too. He'd rather keep that illusion than
have it exposed as the foolish dream it was by raising the subject
with Heero. Duo flashed Hilde a quick, almost-genuine, grin, "Let's
get outta here. We've got a salvage yard full of work waiting for
us." *** Heero's throat tightened and his fist closed around
the note, crumpling it. He flung it across the room in a flash of
frustration, not needing to see it in order to recall the words. Those
were burned into his mind. He closed his eyes, seeing them all too
clearly, 'Hey buddy, guess Relena's keeping you pretty busy, I thought
you'd be around to see me by now. Well, can't just hang around doing
nothing forever so I'm heading out. Hilde needs my help at the salvage
yard; give me a call if you need me for anything! Err, not that you
ever would, but - aw, hell, you know what I mean. See you around,
Duo.' "*Dammit* Duo, I just need some more time to finish
disillusioning her, why the hell didn't you wait a little longer?"
Heero hissed under his breath. He picked the note back up and smoothed
it out carefully, folding it so that the contact information was clearly
visible. 'You know why he didn't, Yuy. Because you never asked him
to.' He'd intended to. But he'd been so damn busy that he'd never
quite gotten around to talking to Duo. Correction - Relena had *kept*
him so damn busy. 'She has to make a trip to L2 in a couple of weeks;
surely I can manage to get away for a few hours and meet Duo long
enough to explain things to him... Ask him to wait for me; to give
me a little more time to make sure Relena loses interest in me so
that she won't cause any trouble for us in future...' A couple of weeks before he could see Duo again, and
then probably only fairly briefly. Then god-only-knew how many more
weeks before they could actually be together permanently... Heero
closed his eyes in silent protest. He had learned a very long time
ago never to want anything for himself, never to *need* anything.
He wasn't supposed to want or need or *feel*. Duo had changed all
of that. Heero wanted him, needed him. Loved him. 'I want to be with Duo. To be *happy* with Duo... Is
that really so much to ask for? Is it really so wrong to want to be
happy?' Heero was starting to think that maybe the answer to
that question was "yes". *** 'This is the restaurant he said he'd meet me at... He's
gotta be here somewhere...' Duo's gaze swept the room and he smiled
in sheer delight as he spotted a familiar mop of brown hair. He headed
for the table, grinning broadly. 'It's just a lunch date but *god*
it's good to see him again...' A moment later, Duo's grin faltered as he noticed an
all-too-familiar head of dirty blonde hair seated beside Heero. 'Shit,
what the hell is *she* doing here... Heero didn't tell me she'd be
with him...' Duo thought miserably. Plastering a rather forced smile on his face, Duo greeted
Heero and Relena as cheerfully as he could manage. "Hey, Heero!
Nice seein' you again, buddy! And Miss Darlian - you're looking very
lovely today! Bet you've really brightened the day for all those crusty
old L2 politicians." 'But I know you sure as hell didn't brighten
*mine*...' "How nice of you to join us," Relena said
with a smile that didn't reach her eyes. Heero scowled at her and corrected, "No, Relena.
He didn't join *us*. He *met* *me*. By *my* invitation. You just invited
yourself along." Duo's eyes widened in surprise. Heero tended to be blunt
but he was usually polite to Relena. She must have been *way* out
of line to irritate him *this* much. 'Either that or he was really
looking forward to seeing me alone...' he thought hopefully. 'Maybe...
maybe happily ever after is too much to hope for... But maybe just
plain happy isn't...' He wasn't going to get his hopes up *too* high - but
he wasn't going to give up on a relationship with Heero either. Not
yet. *** Heero scowled at the suit he was supposed to wear to
escort Relena that evening. His jaw tightened. Enough. He'd been trying
to avoid actually hurting her but today's stunt had been the last
straw. He didn't like that glimpse of absolute misery that had flickered
across Duo's face when he'd arrived at the restaurant to find Relena
there too. He still couldn't believe that the foolish girl had ditched
her temporary bodyguard in order to follow him. Personally, he considered
it just another sign of how much of a child she really was in some
ways. She'd thrown an entire consulate into a panic with her disappearance.
'If I hadn't caught her tailing me and called it in, they'd have had
the whole colony under lockdown by the time she deigned to show up
again...' Heero thought grimly. Time for the kid gloves to come off. Subtle attempts
to convince her that she really *wasn't* in love with him weren't
working; he'd have to take more extreme measures. He smirked coldly.
Relena was about to encounter the *real* Heero Yuy. The one who didn't
give a fuck what anyone thought of him as long as he accomplished
his mission. Since he had two different missions to accomplish right
now - guarding Relena and destroying that silly infatuation of hers
- that left him rather a lot of leeway as far as personal behaviour
went. Heero's smirk broadened as he turned towards his closet.
Sitting at the dinner table beside Relena and dancing with her after
the meal really didn't fall under his job description. Therefore,
he had no reason to wear that suit. No, something suited to slinking
around in the shadows was far more appropriate. And a single unobtrusive
hidden weapon really wasn't sufficient either... Hmm, this might actually
be sort of - fun... Heero struggled to subdue the yearning for Duo's familiar
presence, a yearning strengthened by the brief and all-too-slight
contact earlier that day. For his voice - bright with cheerfulness,
heated with desire, warm with comfort and understanding, dark with
memories... For his touch - soft and tender, strong and sure, passionate
and... Heero jerked his thoughts away from that path. 'He is not here.
He is not going to *be* here. And I can't go join him. Not yet. Not
until Relena has lost all interest in me. She has power, influence.
But emotionally, she is a child. If I leave now, there are too many
ways that she could cause trouble in pursuit of her foolish infatuation.'
He had to wait. Had to submerge his wishes, his emotions,
in the mission he'd set for himself. 'Disillusion Relena. Get her
to fire me. Then go after Duo.' And, until then, hope like hell that
long-distance contact would be enough to keep Duo from giving up on
him and moving on. Yanking his door open in response to Relena's summons
a while later, Heero suppressed the urge to roll his eyes at the way
she'd carefully posed herself in the hallway. "Heero, how do
I look? Is this dress okay? It doesn't make me look fat, does it?"
She pivoted slowly to display the dress to its best advantage. He couldn't have asked for a better opportunity. Sweeping
his gaze over the snug silk sheath-dress that Relena was wearing,
Heero said bluntly and dispassionately, "You look like an overstuffed
sausage." "You look like an overstuffed sausage," he
repeated flatly. "I'm sure you're the height of fashion. Let's
get this fucking dinner over with." He wondered how many swear
words he could manage to slip in to the conversation and whether Relena
would understand them in languages other than English. Using them
was pointless if she didn't know what they meant. He knew she hated
"crude language", that was one of her usual complaints about
Duo. Biting his tongue to keep from smirking, Heero saw the
look of dawning horror as he stepped from his room and Relena got
a good look at him. "*Heero"!*" she wailed. "You
can't escort me looking like *that*!" "But Heero, I *have* to have an escort!" "If you can't get a damn date, call a fucking escort
service," he retorted. "That's not my problem." Heero
ruthlessly suppressed a twinge of guilt at the hurt look that remark
caused. He'd never led her to expect a damn thing from him; he had
no reason to feel guilty. 'And every reason to be annoyed with her.
Duo's working here on L2 with Hilde and the longer it takes to convince
Relena that she really isn't interested in me, the greater the chance
that he might give up on me and that Hilde might catch his interest,
especially after Relena's stunt today...' Heero's determination hardened. Relena was going to
lose interest in him. If her feelings got trampled and her heart broken
in the process, it was her own damn fault for being such an obsessive
brat in the first place. He intended to make absolutely certain that
she completely lost interest in him and wouldn't cause any future
difficulties for him or Duo. ################################################# |
