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"The Right Thing"Written By: CalicOcat Life With Heero Arc fic 32 Genre: Angst, Friendship Pairings: None yet Rated: PG-13 Warnings: AU, OOC, Swearing Archives: At Mediaminer.org under Calic0cat. Anyone
with archive permission for my other fics can help themselves; anyone
else, please ask. Disclaimer: Duo and Heero and the rest of the GW gang aren't mine. This story is. Nuff said. Notes: The arc begins between one and two years after Endless Waltz. Heero POV in this story. 'Thinking' "Speaking" ************ Time passing or scene change Author's Notes: This is the first in an arc of stories. I don't know for sure how many stories there will be or how often I'll be posting them. The length of each story in the arc will vary, anywhere from ficlet to multi-part. Warnings will vary from story to story as well, as will the genre. Pairings will probably eventually make their way in, but it will be quite a while since the first half dozen or so stories are drafted out and there's no real indication of pairings in them as of yet. Feedback is appreciated.
The Right Thing Arc fic 32 Heero pulled the door closed quietly. The muffled weeping in the room he had just left made him wince. He had not wanted to hurt Relena but he had felt the need to make his feelings very clear. There was no point in giving her false hope. Turning to go downstairs, Heero saw Zechs standing at the foot of the stairs. 'Shit,' he thought wearily. 'Just what I *didn't* need.' Stifling the urge to sigh, he continued down the steps. At the foot of the stairs, he stopped, his path blocked by Zechs. Raising his eyes reluctantly to meet the taller man's, Heero was surprised to find a sympathetic look on his face. "It isn't easy, is it?" Zechs said quietly. "Noin..." he said in explanation to Heero's raised eyebrow. 'Ah.' "No, it isn't," Heero answered. He had
still been guarding Relena when Zechs had abruptly returned from the
Mars Project alone. Relena had told him simply that "things hadn't
worked out" between her "She *will* be alright, Heero," Zechs added as he turned to move out of Heero's way. "If the feelings aren't there, it's best that she knows. Maybe now she will be able to move on." Heero headed through the kitchen and out the back door to the garden. Settling to the task of weeding, he wished Duo were there. He felt like a complete asshole right now and a hug from his best friend would be greatly appreciated. 'First I accept Relena's apology and make her happy by telling her that I forgive her, then I turn right around and hurt her.' But he couldn't pretend to feel something he didn't. And even if he could, that wouldn't be fair to either of them. If Relena had not hurt him and sent him running to Duo,
he *might* have ended up going along with her wishes eventually, even
without being in love with her. The lure of a permanent home with
someone who After the night that he had asked Duo about how he'd known he wasn't in love with Hilde, Heero had pestered him with more questions on the subject of love and marriage. Despite Duo's insistence that he wasn't the right person to answer those kinds of questions, Heero found his answers helpful more often than not. He had still been torn over whether or not to rule out all possibility of a relationship with Relena even if he *wasn't* in love with her. After all, according to things he'd read, not all marriages *were* based on love. Maybe he never *would* fall in love with anyone. Heero had difficulty imagining himself feeling that
way about anyone. Eventually, he had asked Duo whether being in love
was essential to marriage. Duo had done a lot of muttering under his
breath about overgrown kids wanting to know why grass was green along
with a number of other, unrepeatable, things, then had said, "Look
Heero - Relena's an 'ai shiteru' kinda girl. She's looking for that
complete, absolute, total, head-over-heels-in-love, they-lived-happily-ever-after
fairytale marriage. If you can't honestly tell her 'ai shiteru' and
be prepared to say it and mean it every fuckin' day of your lives,
even when she's pregnant, the size of Duo had made a good point, but Heero hadn't been prepared
to discuss love and marriage with Hilde. They were getting along pretty
well now, but nowhere near *that* well. So instead, he had observed
her closely when her fiance happened to drop by the office. Or call
on the phone. A couple of times Heero had walked past her office and
seen Hilde gazing into the distance and smiling faintly, a note or
small gift from Rick laying on her desk. He'd seen the happy anticipation
on her face when Rick was in town and supposed to pick And Heero had watched Rick when he came by to visit. He had seen the matching look of anticipation. The indulgent smile Rick had as she flung herself into his arms with a squeal of delight when he showed up unexpectedly. The tenderness in the way Rick caressed Hilde's cheek before she tugged him off to the privacy of her office. And Heero had known, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he could not give that to Relena. It wasn't *just* the desire that was missing. None of those other feelings were there either. There might have been better ways to approach the subject. Maybe he could have phrased things a bit less harshly. But he had had to tell Relena that they could never be more than friends. Gathering up the weeds for disposal, Heero thought unhappily, 'I know I did the right thing. But I *still* feel like a complete asshole. I wish Duo were here.' ################################################# |
