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"Lost "Written By: Artemis Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters are
copyright to Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency, and associated parties.
I make no money with this fic. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: implied yaoi, angst, violence, language Pairings: 6x2, mention of 4+3 Summary: Sequel to Interfacing: Found. Quatre
has some shocking information for Duo about his new lover; there's
trouble in Cairo... "Lost" 6) At last he stopped running and parked the bike on a high rock bluff where he could see hundreds of miles in every direction. He leaned back on the machine, brushed the dust from his face, and looked out over the land admiring the beauty of the barren desert. [This is Quatre's home,] Duo thought and tried to imagine where he called home. The L2 colony? Surely that was the closest place he had to a home. But he knew the answer was deeper, more painful than that. He had felt home with... "No," he said aloud, his face growing red and his hands curling into fists. "Not with him." Damn it, but if it wasn't true. He had never felt home more than with... the OZ Colonel. "Fuck," he said, gritting his teeth and kicking at the sand beneath his feet. There was nothing to be done. The plan was in motion. Colonel Merquise would be interrogated and then killed... his body disposed of and never seen again. [Why should I even care?] he asked himself, but as soon as he did tears began welling in his eyes. "Because... I loved him," he sobbed and fell to his knees, crying like a lost child. [It's too late...] he realized. Even if he raced back to the guardhouse and made it in time to stop the Maguanacs from killing Merquise... but why would he do that? The Colonel had lied to him, told him he loved him to make the fucking easier. It had been a game. It had been rape... abuse. Duo knelt on the dry desert floor crying for the loss of his dream and for the anger that now filled his heart. Hating his despair. Hating that man. But most of all hating himself for letting this happen. He had to do something. He couldn't just sit here crying, letting this madness continue without some action. "The braid," he said, wiping the tears from his cheeks. [That bastard loved my braid... at least that's what he said.] He rose then and looked inside the little med kit on the back of the bike. "Ah, perfect," he sighed when he spotted a pocket knife. He lay the braid in his hand looking it over. The long, heavy plait of chestnut hair meant a great deal to him. It was as much a part of Duo Maxwell as his chatty personality or his independent nature. But now it was associated with acts he'd rather forget. [God, the things I did with this,] he thought and shivered. [I wrapped the tail around his...] he stopped himself from finishing the thought. Though Duo could never conceivably injure himself... kill himself... like that other Gundam pilot had... he could do this. He held the tail, the symbol of his pain, before him. Squeezing it, he put the knife blade to the place where the braid was tied off. [I'll remove this small part of myself,] he thought. Without further hesitation he sliced through his hair... the braid, cut loose, thwapped on his chest and the five inch long tail lay severed in his hand. "That's it... I'm free of him," he said with great relief. He raised his hand to the wind and watched as the chestnut hair blew away into the desert. After a moment he glanced at his watch and saw that the hour was nearly up. [Need to get the bike back,] he thought, purposefully not letting his mind think about what else was probably over. He took the time to retie his braid... now slightly shorter, but blessedly free of the guilt of those days, and then jumped on the bike. Heading back to Quatre's, he didn't push the machine like he had leaving... But it shouldn't have surprised him. He wasn't in a hurry to get back. Quatre waited for Duo in the solarium, his mind and heart still trying to puzzle out the enigma that was Colonel Zechs Merquise. [Hope we find out soon,] he thought, leaning over, head in his hands. [To think the man is a prince! And now a refugee from OZ, if it's all true...] He straightened when he heard the front screen door bang. [Duo's back. How the hell do I explain any of that interrogation to *him*?] Nervously he stood, waiting for Duo to enter. The young Deathscythe pilot was covered in sand dust when he entered the sunny room where Quatre was waiting. He could use another shower, but first he really needed to find out what had happened. [He looks... worried?] Duo guessed. "So..." he began, brushing the sand out of his hair and trying to act as calm as possible, "what's the disposition of our prisoner?" The pilot of Sandrock just stared at his friend for a moment. [He doesn't feel anything! It's just like he's asking if an OZ base got blown up or not!] "He's *alive*, if that's what you mean," Quatre replied with a hint of sarcasm. "Duo, I need to ask you some things, please." He stood to face the other boy, hugging his arms to himself. "Did Colonel Merquise tell you he was leaving the organization for which he was a soldier?" [Alive!] For a split second Duo felt his heart beating again... beating happily... and then he remembered he shouldn't care. [I'm through with him... dead or alive,] he promised himself. "Hmm," he said, tilting his head at his friend as he noticed the defensive posture. "What if he did tell me?" Quatre narrowed his eyes, sensing the fleeting pulse of hope and then the return of the studied indifference. "Merquise told us many things. I know you're hardly interested in helping his case, but we really need to get the full truth here. Did he tell you that?" "He told me many things, too, but that doesn't mean I believe any of them now," Duo responded harshly, putting his hands on his hips. "Didn't he tell you what you wanted to know?" he asked almost sympathetically and then his eyes narrowed. "Maybe you should've tortured him a little longer." "We didn't *have* to torture him!" Quatre retorted, his hands folding into fists as he unfolded his arms, gearing for a fight. [Easy,] he told himself though, knowing Duo could be a hothead... and violent. "Merquise told us plenty, but voluntarily. He says he's leaving OZ, Duo. He told us he'd witnessed things in that organization he could no longer stomach." He nodded toward the guardhouse. "The Maguanacs are scrounging for more information right now, hoping to corroborate his story." Then he remembered the most startling aspect of that revelation. "Duo, he says he believes Heero is alive!" "Unbelievable!" Duo exclaimed. "And you believed that crap?" Duo's hands formed into fists as well, keeping them tight on his hips. This Colonel Merquise was certainly dangerous. He had two Gundam pilots eating out of his hand within an hour of meeting each one. But now Duo knew better and he was going to make sure that Quatre didn't make the same mistake that he had. "What's the matter with you, Quatre? You a sucker for pretty blue eyes, too?" "No, I rather prefer *green* ones myself," Quatre shot back, reminding Duo that he already had his heart set on the quiet and enigmatic Trowa Barton. "I didn't say I believed it, Duo! You're not listening to me! He told us all sorts of things, but we're checking every single thing out. Give us a little credit here! We're just after the real truth!" Right now he didn't care if Duo believed him; it was enough that Merquise had given them reason to doubt. And of course the emotions he'd sensed from the man didn't match Duo's perception of him. "You want the truth? Look at this!" Duo barked, pulling the collar of his black t-shirt down to expose the red marks on his neck and collarbone. "This is the truth, Quatre. He used me... and that's all the truth I need to know." A hint of uncharacteristic steel appeared in the normally serene aquamarine eyes. "Duo, those are hickeys. If I'd have had Trowa staying with me for three days, you'd see those on my neck as well, most likely. Come on! You and he were just lovers! He didn't know who or what you were!" Before Duo could explode, he rushed on. "But if he has been playing you, then we'll find it out, Duo! Give us a chance to check out his story!" Duo stared at his friend, shaking a little from the rage that was seething beneath the surface. [He doesn't get this... I can't believe that he's actually listening to that bastard.] Somehow, when he went to speak, Duo's voice came out calm... eerily calm. "If that's what you need to believe to make this easier on you then go right ahead," he said, throwing his hands up in the air. "Yep, these are just hickeys. We were lovers. It was a lovely three days..." [I *knew* it!] Quatre shouted to himself as the murmurings of his empathic sense grew stronger with Duo's last words. [He still isn't admitting it, but he's right, they really did love one another! I was right about Merquise... not that Duo is going to appreciate that right now...] Aloud he responded, amazed at how cool he himself sounded, "So you're trying to tell me, Duo, that he forced you to have sex with him? You fought him when he bit you there?" [I'll make him face his own truth if it kills me,] he added to himself morosely. The other boy shook his head, trying to keep out the images that came with his friend's direct questioning. Images of that face so close to his... warm breath... sweet lips. He shuddered, his eyes flickering closed for a moment to regain his composure. [Shit... does he know that I can't lie?] Finally, he opened his eyes, and curled his hands to fists again, setting them at his hips. With a deep breath he began to artfully dodge the question. "Interested in his defense are you? Maybe you should've been a defense attorney instead of a Gundam pilot." Quatre saw more than he wanted to see, but saw enough to be relieved. [He loved him... they loved each other,] he thought, reading Duo's revealing body language and feeling the twinges in his heart. "Maybe I should have," he replied quietly. [And he didn't answer my questions, not for a second.] "Regardless, I'm reserving my judgment until our spy network can do more digging. I told Rashid we needed to learn more, but once we learned Merquise was OZ, it seemed more important at the time to get you out of the situation in case it was going badly." The irony tasted bitter; the only "badly" had been everything since encountering Duo in the marketplace. [Going badly?] Duo snorted as he repeated Quatre's words in his head. Everything had been... perfect... at least until the illusion was burst. Then Duo could see what a fool he'd been to hand over his heart so easily. And now his friend was the fool. "You're wasting your time," he growled, growing tired of this argument. "I'm sure he gave you false leads to follow just to give himself time to figure out how to escape. He'll be back at his OZ headquarters before we even realize he's gone." [He's in such denial,] Quatre thought, and squared his shoulders. He didn't like to have to admit he had the ability to sense other's emotions, but right now it was possibly the only thing that could reach Duo... if the long-haired boy even believed him. [I have to try...] "Look, Duo, I don't believe I'm wasting my time and I'll tell you why..." He turned aside, one arm stiff at his side, his other hand holding his elbow. "I... I can sense others' emotions, Duo. Yours... his." Duo's eyes narrowed on the blond. "What?" he asked, taking a half step back. "You mean... this whole thing," he said, his arms gesturing in a wide circle, "is all because you think you can sense people's emotions?" He snickered indignantly... almost cruelly. "Well, I don't buy it... because if you could sense my emotions then you'd know just how beat up I am over this, and you'd listen to what the fuck I'm saying!" The rejection stung the little blond, but Quatre Raberba Winner was nothing if he wasn't realistic and practical. [Okay, he's totally not listening to *me*... I'll just have to get that damn evidence so I can beat him over the head with it. Right.] Quatre took a deep breath, counted to five, then replied quietly, "I read you, Duo, I read you. And I read *him*, too, whether you like it or not. I don't expect you to believe me. My sense doesn't depend on the belief of others. Duo, I don't know what else to say to you. I have to learn more. I acknowledge your feelings of betrayal, though." When Duo stirred, mumbling under his breath, Quatre continued, unfolding his arms, a hand held out toward the other pilot. "Here's something to think about, Duo. Merquise, I think, judging from his reaction, believes himself to be the one betrayed. He said you'd told him you were a 'high-tech mechanic' and that he'd believed you. Another interesting thing... he said he was planning to tell you over breakfast today that he had been with OZ. Imagine that..." His hand dropped and he turned toward the door. "I *am* a qualified high-tech mechanic," Duo retorted, whipping his braid around. [I didn't lie.] "And you're certainly eager to believe his OZ tales." When Quatre didn't turn back to face him, Duo knew this conversation was finished, but he wasn't through ranting. As his friend left the room he continued to catalog his distrust and distaste for what was happening now. "You'll regret this Quatre... or maybe you're one of them after all... you're actually an OZ intelligence officer..." The little blond pilot wasn't gone from the room ten seconds, when his very large friend Rashid entered to counter Duo. "That's enough," he said, the deep bass of his voice resonating in the room. "And why should I listen to you?" Duo asked, cocky and ready for a fight... even against this behemoth. "You work for him... you're against me, too." "No one is against you. And most certainly not Master Quatre. He is trying to act in your best interests," he said, holding his hand up to silence Duo as the boy's mouth opened to speak again. "You would do well to listen more and speak less." The man crossed his arms, barring the way out of the room. He wanted this young man to listen a bit longer. "It's true that Master Quatre can feel other's emotions. It is a gift. One my people respect and honor greatly." Despite the facade, Duo did feel intimidated by this man... this giant. And it was that intimidation that kept him quiet. "A lot has happened today. You should take some time to think," Rashid said, finishing softer than he had begun. He looked Duo over a moment longer wondering why his Master had chosen this boy as a friend... other than the obvious connection of fighting against OZ. At last, he stepped aside to let the boy leave, which he did in shocking silence. Duo lay naked, his back flat on the bed, eyes staring at the ceiling. It was midnight. He couldn't sleep. He was afraid to sleep. [Every time I close my eyes I see... his face. Hell, I see his face even with my eyes wide open.] The memories were there... pushing at his conscious mind... wanting him to relive them. He was tired and hungry and didn't have the energy to fight them. Midnight, the night before... he remembered it well. He had been at a nightclub... with him. Dancing. Grinding against the tall blond in a very public display of sexual attraction. It didn't last long. An hour... maybe an hour and fifteen minutes, and then the Colonel had told him he needed him bad. They hailed a taxi and necked shamelessly in the backseat all the way back to the inn. The boy was getting hard from the memory. But he didn't touch himself. He lay motionless, staring at the ceiling... letting the memory play out. They had pulled at each other's clothing as they walked down the hall to their room. Kissing, feeling each other up in the relative privacy of the corridor. Inside the room, the Colonel had turned into his Wolf-self; wildly hungry for his little lover. He took Duo then, quickly, nearly fully clothed. The younger man's leather pants down around his ankles, the Colonel's pulled down just enough to release his engorged cock. The Gundam pilot had been all-too willing to spread himself on his hands and knees on the bed while his large lover stood behind him... fucking him so expertly. "No... stop it," Duo sobbed as he sat up in the bed, pulling his knees to his chest. "I don't want to remember..." He had never hurt like this in his life... not even when Maxwell Church had been destroyed and when he had lost his best friend Solo. Nothing compared to the pain he felt now. A pain he couldn't seem to escape. [Quatre... you're wrong about him. He's been lying to you just like he lied to me,] he thought and looked over at the clock. It was 12:07 in the morning. Time was moving so slow... so painfully slow. He thought about his friend's words now. About their argument. Quatre was so sure the Colonel was telling the truth to the point of believing he was about to tell Duo about being with OZ. [He did tell me he was leaving his organization... He was probably just being reassigned. He couldn't have been leaving OZ.] Duo swung his legs over the edge of the bed... his hard-on thankfully beginning to subside. "That bastard is winning," he said aloud. "He's destroying us from within." He stood then, going over to the large chest of drawers where he had put his clothes, and pulled open the drawer with his black priest's garb. If Duo had anything close to being a uniform it was this. "I can't let OZ take us down this way," he said fervently and began to dress in the clothes that honored Father Maxwell... his beloved guardian. [I'll need a gun,] he thought. Quatre had taken away his gun after he'd tried to kill the OZ Colonel in the hotel room. [It would've been fitting revenge to have killed him in the place where he had used me and lied to me.] Dressed, he peered out the large window. In the distance he could see the guardhouse illuminated by moonlight. [One guard at the holding cell door... two patrolling,] he observed, a plan forming in his head. [Not a problem.] He put on his black cap and stealthily headed downstairs. The house was completely quiet as he made his way to the kitchen. There, he quickly made a sandwich, but not for himself. He was hungry, but his stomach was too upset from the events of the day to eat anything. And though he had used that as an excuse to not join Quatre for dinner that evening, it had been more that he couldn't face his friend just yet... or Quatre's large, annoying protector, Rashid. He wrapped the sandwich in a dish towel and headed for the guardhouse. The tall Arabian guard at the door nodded to him. "Hungry?" Duo asked quietly, holding out the bait. "Sure," the guard grinned, taking the little package and opening it carefully. "Ah... a lamb sandwich. Thank you." As the man turned to settle on the ground and eat, Duo utilized his pick-pocketing skills and snatched the handgun from the man's holster. As he anticipated, the guard was too happily focused on his midnight snack to notice the theft. "Enjoy," Duo told the man and then eased his way around the corner of the building. There he had access to one of the barred windows to the holding cell. [Now, I take my revenge... for the freedom of the colonies.] He leaned with his back against the wall of the building, looking both ways to see if any guards were around. No one. He had timed everything perfectly. With a satisfied grin he cocked the gun and turned to peer into the window, "Goodbye, Colonel," he said in a steely whisper. His eyes scanned the dark cell for his target, quickly locking on the fall of platinum hair... a beacon in the moonlight. The man was sitting, huddled on the bed with his back to the window. Duo froze. This wasn't the enemy he had come to kill. This wasn't OZ's arrogant ace pilot. This was just a man... a man imprisoned... a man Duo had loved. "No," the young Gundam pilot gasped as he slid to the ground, shaking in his discovery. The image branded in his mind... an image of vulnerability. "Not Colonel Merquise, but my..." he was about to say the man's name, the name he knew him as, but stopped himself from that torture. "Shit," he said, hitting his fist against the wall. Just then he heard the guard patrol coming his way. He didn't want to be caught in this aborted assassination attempt, so he quickly returned to the guard who was finishing his sandwich. In order to return the gun, he distracted the man for a moment by asking him the name of a cluster of stars. That's all it took... and the gun was easily slipped back into the guard's holster. "Night," Duo said, and headed back to the house... to his room where he felt sure he would cry himself to sleep.
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