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"Crisis"Written By: Artemis Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters are
copyright to Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency, and associated parties.
I make no money with this fic. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: yaoi lemon including rimming, angst,
violence, language, reference to past NCS involving a minor, death,
angst. Pairings: 6x2, 3x4 Summary: Sequel to Interfacing: Regained. GAIA
prepares to go into space and announce itself to the world; Duo and
Zechs' relationship goes through its own crisis. "Crisis " 26) Heero Yuy scowled at the computer screen which had ceased to truly hold his attention for the last twenty minutes. He'd been looking again at the Zero File which Zechs had found so fascinating. The whole concept of the "Zero System" felt so wrong, though Heero had to admit to the vast strategic advantage such a system would represent to a mobile suit pilot who could master it. And *that* was the problem. But something else was itching at Heero's psyche and it had nothing to do with mobile suit cockpit systems that tapped into a pilot's brainwaves. [If I had been the one to go to outer space to infiltrate OZ instead of Trowa, Duo would not have had to flip out like that and Quatre would have his man with him...] Never mind that Heero understood why he couldn't have been the one to go. It was too great of a risk considering that OZ had medical records on a strange pilot named Heero. And there hadn't been time to get those records erased. [I should have had Zechs ask Treize to take care of it weeks ago!] he grumbled to himself. [More screw-ups...] Heero had yet to admit to himself that he was going to miss Trowa as well. There had been too much else to stew about - Quatre's being alone and the breakdown of his friendship - such as it was - with Duo Maxwell. Trowa had been unfailingly patient with him while he'd visited the Noventa family members. Heero still didn't understand why the boy had stayed with him so long... or even why Trowa had saved his life in the first place. [Kinda got used to me, I guess... and I suppose I got used to him...] His mind switched to the bigger problem. [Duo. Major work to do on that end as well...] he added to the mishmash of thoughts in his mind, thinking of Duo's jealous anger over the camaraderie Heero had with Zechs, innocent as it was. So absorbed in his thought was he, that Heero did not hear the door open and only looked up and saw someone approaching when a shadow fell over the keyboard. He looked up into the other's eyes, wondering, though by the look on his face, he appeared to be scowling. "Quatre..." "Hi, Heero. I didn't mean to startle you," Quatre said as he sidled up to the desk where Heero was working. Of all the people at Barclay Base, Heero Yuy was the one about whom Quatre knew the least. Perhaps it was the fact that both Trowa and Duo had said such strange things about him that had cautioned Quatre to stay away from him. Though their comments had not been all bad, remarks like Duo's "he can't be human" had truly kept Quatre at bay. But there had also been a selfish reason why Quatre had not taken the time to get to know the other boy. He had been holed up in his quarters with Trowa making love... and there had been little time for anything else. [Even to looking out for Duo... I haven't been a very good friend lately,] he thought, sadly. So, now that Trowa was gone, and he was missing him fiercely, Quatre had decided to seek out the elusive Heero. [I need to find out about him for myself. I think he must be a caring person... I've felt deep things coming from him... and maybe he can give me some insight into my Trowa.] "I thought maybe we could talk?" Quatre asked the other boy a bit timidly. [I hope I'm right and Heero is the good person I believe him to be.] Heero blinked, processing the fact of Quatre Raberba Winner seeking him, *him*, out to talk. [Okay, so he's now the lover of the guy I had spent a month and a half with... and he's the leader of our alliance committee... and a Gundam pilot. Hmmm...] He knew Quatre was not like him. Quatre had a family and multiple homes, a fanatical army looking out for him - so he'd been told -and wealth. Heero Yuy didn't even have his own name. "Yeah, sure," he muttered, returning his attention to the computer screen for a moment as he shut the terminal down. "What's on your mind, Quatre?" "Oh... um..." Quatre said, surprised by the welcome. He really thought Heero would brush him off. Say that he didn't have time for chit-chat. Instead he seemed very open to talking. [Maybe that's why Duo kept finding Zechs talking to Heero... the guy's a good listener?] Quatre pulled up a chair and sat facing Heero, crossing his legs and folding his hands on his knees like the proper little gentleman he was. "Well, Heero, we've never talked, but we have things in common... such as Trowa and being Gundam pilots," he said, feeling more nervous than he knew he should. "I'm partly to blame, I know... I've been spending so much time with Tro." Then Quatre's eyes lit up, as they always did when he talked about his Tiger. "You spent a lot of time with Trowa, didn't you? He saved your life! Maybe we could talk about that?" Heero's prodigious mind, as usual, was already evaluating his observation of his fellow pilot. [Zechs sits like that... like he's entertaining royalty,] the pilot of Wing Gundam noted. [But then he is... how did Quatre become a Gundam pilot, anyway?] Another couple blinks, then Heero glanced away. "Yeah, he saved my life," he echoed, the memory making him feel numb inside, the anger returning briefly. "He said it was a waste to let me die... and I felt it was a waste to let me live." "Oh, you don't really believe that?" Quatre asked, horrified by the admission. He placed his hand over his heart, feeling a sudden aching loneliness coming from the other boy. [I think he actually misses Trowa... even though he'd probably never admit it.] "Trowa's your friend. He admires you and would never want to hear you say that your life wasn't worth anything." "Huh?" Two words had jumped out at Heero, momentarily freezing his brain: "admires you". Then the rest caught up to him. "Trowa's my..." But he didn't finish, suddenly staring at Quatre's hand. [I've seen him do that before; what's it mean? What is he doing?] "Ah, I guess you're right. Since then, I have found more reasons to live." He'd been about to launch into his tirade on being robbed of a perfect, honorable death, when he realized such talk was only going to anger the little blond. [Trowa understood once... but he doesn't think the same way anymore either.] "I'm glad you've found reasons," Quatre said, smiling. [He's so intense! And those blue eyes... Allah, I think he's looking right through me!] "I think I can give you another reason as well... I need your help." He tapped on his chest over his heart, the organ that caused him so much trouble and so much joy. "I need help deciphering my Trowa. He's wonderfully complicated, you see... and even with my empa..." Quatre was about to tell Heero about his ability to read people's emotions, but suddenly wasn't sure if he should share that just yet. "Well, let's just say, even I have a hard time reading him." "Hn," Heero muttered, skeptically regarding the other pilot. "Trowa Barton, complicated?" He leaned back, crossing his arms over his chest. "He's extremely uncomplicated, if you ask me. He knows about loyalty and fighting for a cause, and has learned to trust rarely. I doubt if there have even been more than five individuals at any single time that he's placed trust in. I suppose we're a bit alike in that sense." Quatre re-crossed his legs to buy time in figuring out Heero Yuy. [I have a new respect for Duo... How did he ever spend time with this guy?] "The fact that Trowa has difficulty in trusting others... and a hard time loving is why I believe he is so very complicated," Quatre said, lowering his gaze to his folded hands. As a boy with so much love to give and the ability to sense so much from others, it was natural for him to find a reluctance to love complicated. He paused a moment, feeling a swell of emotion for his absent lover, then turned his eyes up to search Heero's face. "I had hoped you could give me some insight into Trowa, since you had spent so much time together... and as you say you're so much alike. So, Heero, why is it so hard for *you* to love?" "What?!" Heero erupted, looking at Quatre with a mixture of astonishment and flat-out embarrassment. Then the controlled composure rushed back as Heero closed his eyes briefly. When he opened them again, he met Quatre's frank gaze, his thick eyebrows drawn together in concentration. "Love isn't something I'm even looking for... I mean, we have the peace of the colonies to work for, Quatre! I won't say that you guys are wrong for having your relationships..." A general wave of the hand presumably included Zechs and Duo. "But I'm not..." He frowned, shaking his head a little. "But love can be so many things," Quatre said a bit sadly as he watched the other boy struggle and try to squirm his way around the subject. [I've made him uncomfortable,] he thought regrettably. He reached his hand out to soothe Heero, but quickly pulled it back, unsure if the boy wanted to be touched or not. "What about Duo? What about a friendship with him?" he asked, his large, aquamarine eyes pleading as much as his words. "Surely friendship is a kind of love... You know, he just wants to be your friend, Heero. That's all Duo's ever wanted... just to be accepted by you as your friend." Heero had a pat answer for that... or at least he had had one before the alliance. Now, perhaps, since he had in fact agreed to work with the others in GAIA, the parameters had changed. "I used to think I had no time or function in my life for friendships," Heero replied, his tone softening. "I do see the value of friendships now. And... I'd like to be Duo's friend. I'm not certain that's possibly anymore, however." [And Trowa... is he my friend? Is that what we had, a friendship? I suppose. Huh, Trowa *is* my friend...] "I still don't see how 'love' ties into it. But then I consider myself... well... you know." A faint flush settled over his upper cheeks. Quatre tilted his head at the other boy. "No, I don't know," the little blond said, once again being completed baffled by another's emotions. A surge of frustration caused Heero to fold his hands into fists for a moment, but he forcibly relaxed immediately. "I'm just not *interested* in... well, *anyone*! Not... that way." His statement darkened, but he kept himself under control. "I was trained to disdain making personal connections of any kind, Quatre. I was taught that they'd get in my way, confuse me, interfere with my decision-making ability. I don't agree with that now... but I'm still not..." Stymied, he stared at Quatre for a moment before finishing. [He's only fifteen, too, but he has a boyfriend. Duo's only fifteen and *he's* got a boyfriend. Wufei didn't have anyone... did he? And Relena... God only knows what *she's* been thinking!] "Some of us at our age just aren't ready for romantic love and sex yet, Quatre." [There, said it!!] "Oh, of course! I'm sorry... I've upset you, but no one's asking you have to sex with them. Have they? Have you been propositioned?!" Quatre asked, his eyes going wide as he suddenly thought that maybe one of the older ex-OZ pilots had made an unwanted advance on the boy. "Allah, if they've tried anything... well, I'm sure you can take care of yourself...." "No, no, it isn't that," Heero was quick to assure him. "And I'm fine, really." He ducked his head, working to settle his own confused flurry of emotions down. Quatre shook his head, flustered by Heero's unexpected reaction and his own inability to handle it. [I need to end this conversation and fast! I'm just upsetting him!] "I really just wanted to talk... for us all to be friends, but maybe what I should've done was to keep my mouth shut." [Duo would've appreciated that back in Cairo!] When the blond pilot subtly shifted in his discomfort, edging minutely away from the boy he thought he'd upset so badly, Heero reacted automatically, reaching to touch Quatre lightly on the upper arm. "No, don't say that," he muttered, unconsciously aping Quatre's earlier reaction to him. "I mean..." He stared at his hand on the other boy's arm, but did not move it away. "I wanted to talk, too, Quatre. I understand the value of friendships now. I'd like... to be friends." A wave of relief flushed through Quatre like a rush of warm water when he felt that touch of hand, heard those sincere words and felt Heero's hidden tenderness. He sighed and then wiped away a tear that threatened to spill down his cheek. "Oh, thank you, Heero. I'm so glad to hear you say that." He looked down at the hand on his arm and nodded. [This is good. He has a big heart and someday he's going to find love in a big way,] Quatre thought and smiled as he looked back up into his friend's eyes. "We can be friends.... and so can you and Duo," he said, taking a chance that Heero was now open to more possibilities. "You two had a misunderstanding, that's all. Now that things have settled down, I'm sure he'd like to be your friend again." Heero straightened, taking his hand back. "*Duo* had a misunderstanding... and I've apologized for yesterday morning in the hangar," he murmured, looking thoughtful. "I can't understand that guy... thinking I was involved with Zechs! What was he thinking?" He shook his head, still feeling frustrated over all of that. "Well, it remains whether Duo forgives me for the hangar, and is over his snit about Zechs. I want to clear the air with him, believe me." Quatre nodded his head, but remained silent for a moment. [I suppose this misunderstanding is one-sided...] "I'm not defending Duo, but I know he's been on an emotional roller-coaster lately. It'd be really good for the both of you to talk. Heck, I need to talk to him, too. But you'll do that... won't you, Heero?" "Of course I will, but it's not up to me. I don't know if Duo is going to want to talk to me anymore." Heero shrugged, but it was clear that it did matter to him. Suddenly he realized he missed their former verbal skirmishes. Anything was better than being suspected of betrayal. [And I see his relationship with Zechs as a good thing, good for them both. Somehow I want to protect that...] "He will, Heero, he will," Quatre said confidently with a little smile, then stood to leave. "I'd better be going. I told Howard I'd test the new rockets on Sandrock today." He looked down at Heero a moment, studying the boy's intense features and feeling that loneliness again. [There's something very special about Heero Yuy... and maybe someday he'll let someone in to find it.] Finally, he turned to go, but as he was walking out the door he looked back over his shoulder and said, "I'm glad we're friends, Heero. Really glad." "Thanks," Heero murmured, watching the little blond disappear out the door. [I think I'm glad, too...] The lovers had fallen into a comfortable silence, resting in each other's arms after their shattering lovemaking. Zechs, his eyes closed, chin resting on top of Duo's head, listened as the boy's breathing patterns gradually changed. Soon, Duo was deeply asleep; Zechs knew his lover was still feeling the after-effects of the hangover and likely hadn't been sleeping well lately. Sleep right now... was a very good thing. After watching him sleep for a good half-hour, Zechs decided he needed a stretch. Gently and carefully untangling himself, he settled Duo into a comfortable position, drawing the discarded sheet over him. Stretching his arms above his head, he loped into the bathroom to clean up a little, then crossed the room to his closet. Zechs put on his favorite short sleeping robe, then turned... and spied the envelope on the arm of the sofa near the door. Retrieving it, he opened the envelope and drew out the letter. It was written in Duo's expressive, eccentric printing. Frowning a little, Zechs read: ++++++++ By the time you find this note I'll be gone... on my way back to outer space. I've sat here for close to an hour thinking of what to say to you... you deserve something. So, I guess it all comes down to three things. I'm sorry I hurt you, I loved you deeply, and I'll always remember Cairo. Be happy, Zechs. Your friend, Duo +++++++ [He was never going to tell me face to face why he wanted to leave,] Zechs realized, feeling cold in the pit of his stomach. [Oh, Duo, and you nearly succeeded...] Abruptly Zechs was striding back over to the bed. He dropped the letter on the bedside table and slid onto the bed beside his lover. Reaching to brush chestnut tendrils aside, he looked down at Duo's relaxed face as he slept. [My sweet Duo... if only you'd come to me... and if only I'd understood your fears better...] He was going to let the letter go, dismiss it as past history, but there was something still that needed to be said, and the letter had served to remind Zechs of that. Sighing, he bent to whisper in Duo's ear, giving the braid a gentle tug as he did so. "Dancer... I need to talk to you, baby, then you can sleep all you like. Duo... my sweet Dancer..." The sweet, velvet tones of his lover's voice infiltrated Duo's sleep. "Hmm?" he moaned, closing his eyes tighter to fight off being awakened. He was so tired and so very content. He'd found a piece of heaven slumbering here in Zechs's warm bed after having just made love. "Talk... later," Duo said, covering his eyes with his forearm. "Make love... later." Smiling at his sleepy lover, Zechs tugged the forearm loose. "Talk... now. Make love... soon," he echoed, amusement in his voice. "Just for a few minutes. Of course, this is all your fault. If ever I need to talk to you about anything from now on, there will be no delaying!" A smile curled Duo's lips and then he slowly blinked his eyes open. "Okay, okay... I'm awake." With his eyes completely open he smiled more brightly. "Oh, nice view," he said, looking up into Zechs's handsome face. "Now what has made my Wolf so talkative all of sudden?" Zechs's smile eased to wistfulness. "I read the letter you'd put under my door," he explained, a finger tenderly stroking his lover's cheek continuously as he spoke. The smile faded very quickly from Duo's face. "Oh," he said, and lowered his gaze away from his lover's eyes. "I had hoped you wouldn't see that..." A long finger tipped the boy's chin back up. "Duo, sweet, it just tells me that we shouldn't be afraid to tell each other anything... that our commitment is such that it can stand up to any potential misunderstandings or misinterpretations. That no matter what, we can always talk things out." He caressed Duo's cheek again. "Promise me, love?" The boy trembled a little under his lover's touch. "I'm sorry... I was too afraid to talk to you," he said and bit his lower lip. "I'd never been afraid like that before... not even in battle. And you've been so good to me... I should've known we could talk," Duo said, forcing himself to look at Zechs even though he felt ashamed of his cowardice now. "I'll promise you anything you want, Wolf. I promise to always try to talk things out from now on." The smile returned as Zechs sought to reassure his lover. "And I promise as well. Now... I also want to tell you something about your friend Heero that I don't think you've realized. That serious boy is just not interested in relationships or sex yet. He seems to have lived in a very controlled environment before coming to Earth, and I doubt he's even been around others his own age much, except, of course, for Trowa. Not that anyone's tried to get him interested, least of all me!" He grinned then, and winked. "Especially me," Zechs chuckled. "I've got a randy little fox in my own bed, you know! And I wouldn't have it any other way." "And that little fox is getting more randy by the minute!" Duo said, batting his eyes seductively. Despite the serious conversation, Duo couldn't help but be aroused being so near his lover. Everything was possible again. All Zechs would have to do was to lean down just a bit and their lips would meet and the fire would ignite between them... [But I still have Heero to deal with,] Duo thought a bit sourly. "I get it that Heero's not interested in you... I just wasn't seeing straight before," Duo said assuredly. He still felt a little twinge of jealousy over all the time Heero had spent with Zechs, but now he understood it had never been more than a budding friendship. Maybe that was part of what bothered him. Heero seemed capable of friendship... just not with Duo. Duo raised himself up onto his elbows. "Hey, I understand you're friends with Heero... Hell, everyone's friends with Heero, except me!" he said with a snort. "And I'm the guy who rescued him from that Alliance hospital... I even went to school with him and played basketball with him! But I guess that doesn't qualify me as his friend." Duo shrugged his shoulders. "Look, Zechs, I'm not mad at you for trying to explain the guy, but if Heero needs explaining then he should come here and do it himself." Zechs pulled Duo into his arms, cuddling him close. "You *are* his friend. Or will be again. And I have no doubt that he wants to talk to you and clear the air and, yes, explain himself. And if he doesn't come forward to do so, I will usher him personally into your presence and see to it that he talks to you." Despite his tender embrace, there was an edge of steel in his voice at this last. He was *not* going to allow another misunderstanding to harm them for anything. The boy blinked as he held onto his lover. [He's trying to take care of me,] he thought, feeling suddenly very warm from the comforting embrace and sure words. "Thank you," Duo said, hugging Zechs tighter. "I want to talk to Heero... to be friends with him." "That's my Dancer," Zechs whispered, then tipped Duo's face up to his. "I don't want you worrying about that now, not anymore. It's time to love..." And with that, he bent down to take his lover's mouth with his, kissing him thoroughly and deeply. [Oh, my Wolf is hungry!] Duo thought excitedly. How freeing it was to love Zechs again fully. To be able to touch him and make love to him any way he wanted. He let his hands roam over his lover's back, slipping across the cool, silk robe until he found its sash. He tugged playfully, loosening the sash at Zechs's waist as he returned the kiss eagerly, letting his lover know that he wanted him. [Time to love indeed,] Zechs thought as the sexual tension between himself and Duo surged again. [Better for now to love than stew about what is going on elsewhere... about Trowa's future infiltration into OZ in space... about that damn cockpit system design Lance brought... about my sister's cat-and-mouse game with Romefeller... about, most of all, what the hell Treize is up to in Bremen, what events are unfolding there, even at this moment... and the rest of today...] His tongue plundering Duo's mouth, their hands eagerly exploring one another again, Zechs chose yet again to block out the world for this sweet, sacred time, for their return to Cairo, as short-lived as it may be. Once GAIA took to space to stop OZ's domination over the colonies... the road back to their New Cairo might be a long one indeed. Time to love. (tbc)
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