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"Crisis"Written By: Artemis Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters are
copyright to Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency, and associated parties.
I make no money with this fic. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: yaoi lemon including rimming, angst,
violence, language, reference to past NCS involving a minor, death,
angst. Pairings: 6x2, 3x4 Summary: Sequel to Interfacing: Regained. GAIA
prepares to go into space and announce itself to the world; Duo and
Zechs' relationship goes through its own crisis. "Crisis " (Das Ziegel Landheim = German for The Brick Country Schoolhouse) 15) In the medical officer's room, a breakthrough had occurred for one mobile suit pilot plagued with nightmares. Zechs took a long, shuddering breath, straightening. "I haven't thought about Deets in years," he mused, sorting through the memories Sally's gentle probing had brought back to the surface. "I guess... I guess I had forgotten... that horror..." Milliardo Peacecraft had been seven years old, Dieter Steinhauser nine. They'd been friends for the brief time Milliardo had attended the country boarding school near Munich, Germany, Das Ziegel Landheim, under the name Milogost Tallosy. One of his "keepers" had been a Slovak named Tallosy. "Milogost" in that language meant "favored guest", which he had hated. Milo and "Deets" had quickly become inseparable, the older boy taking immediately to the younger but sophisticated and mature boy with a mysterious background. Dieter, like Milogost, had been genetically favored as well, possessing a sweet fragile beauty that belied his outgoing, robust manner. His hair was a rich auburn, his skin pale as milk, his eyes blue as a summer's sky. And he had been favored in other ways as well, his wit sharp and his singing voice pure. Milogost had adored his friend, who in turn had accepted him despite his lack of family connections at this upper-class school. Weeks he had known him. Only weeks... and then it had happened. A masked man with hair the color of ginger... the same ginger, ironically, as Milogost's distant friend Treize... had trapped the two boys deep in the woods around the school, which was many miles from Munich. He had been one of the groundskeepers... but had evidently been watching Dieter for a long time. But he'd waited until the mysterious little newcomer had been with him. After tying Milogost to a tree, the man had raped his friend, raped Dieter in front of him while both boys had cried and screamed, but they had been too far from school for anyone to hear. Then the man, whom Milogost had recognized with further horror to be wearing an Alliance uniform, had untied the smaller boy as his friend lay bleeding on the ground, and had shaken him until Milogost would look into his eyes. The rapist then had spoken to Milogost in firm, exact German, telling him that "pretty ones" should be touched and used so that they would not have the strength to take power away from the people. Although the seven-year-old boy had understood German perfectly, he had remembered none of the words and only enough of the substance of the speech to realize it had been their beauty the man had feared and hated... and hence his sickness had struck out at them in this way. But the man had not done anything to Milogost other than shake him, then had touched his hair with a very strange look on his face. The impression the child had gotten was that the man was afraid of him. Then the man had dropped him and bolted away into the woods, never to be seen again. Milogost had run for help. After Dieter had been returned to the school and cared for, he, too, disappeared... and the next day Tallosy and the others had come back to collect the prince to take him to another school, this one in France. Milogost - now Milliardo again - had wondered about his sweet friend for months, then had forgotten as his child's mind hid the memories in the wake of other harsh realities of his life as an orphaned and homeless prince in an aristocratic society that looked down on him merely for his loss. "The man... was afraid of me," Zechs repeated, now leaning forward, holding his head in his hands. "He was afraid of Deets but he raped him. But me... I don't know if he recognized me or if it was something else. When he let go of me, he stared at his hands for a second as if he expected them to burst into flame." He shook his head, bewildered. "You know, after Duo accused me of raping him... I really began to become afraid of *myself*... as if I believed that I really had the power to do *that*." He shuddered again. It had been a hard couple of hours for Zechs, delving into his deepest fears, his most suppressed memories. Sally found herself admiring this man very much. [For him to be suffering through all this... baring his soul... it's beautiful and so brave. He wants to be whole and to have his lover back again.] "I understand how you might've second-guessed your motives, thinking that if this young man you loved could accuse you of such a thing then it must be true." Zechs took several steadying breaths. "I know that's not true. I know that despite the fact that I have killed out of anger, and certainly in this war, I am not a killer... I do know that. I was extremely gentle with Duo when we were first together; I have no guilty feelings about that. So I don't understand why I have panicked at the thought of making love to him." "It's tied into your suppressed memories," Sally told him. "They're fighting their way back to the surface of your conscious mind... triggered by that horrible incident in Cairo." She leaned forward again with her arms on her thighs. "You're doing great, Zechs. You're very close... so close to knowing." "Suppressed memories..." Zechs sighed, straightening. "You really think that did it - Cairo? But that was weeks ago." He shook his head. "I suppose these things have their own time schedule." Smiling wanly at the doctor, he stood slowly and extended his hand. "Sally, thanks for your time. I think I've got a lot to think about... and I should be going." Sally got up and took his hand with a firm shake. "You're more than welcome. I'm just glad I could help. Now, doctor's orders," she said with a wink. "I want you to take the rest of the evening off. The base can get along without you for a little while." "I can do that," he responded with a smile. Then Zechs went directly to his room. [He said he'd come to me...] It took just a couple of minutes for Duo to reach Zechs's room. Linden had actually done him a favor by making a pass at him. The unwanted advance had scared Duo into moving and his legs took him to the only home he knew... but a home he was about to lose. In front of Zechs's door, Duo stood wobbly and bleary-eyed. The alcohol he had consumed to mask the pain of his breaking heart had only made him feel like shit. Or more like shit than he had before. He leaned forward and rested his head on the door to keep from falling over. "So dizzy," he said. But it wasn't the dizziness that was keeping him from going in... it was fear. This would probably be the last time he would be in Zechs's room. After tonight, Duo was on his own. [Should've known it wouldn't last,] he thought, remembering all the other people he had loved and lost. But there had never been anyone like Zechs. The man had changed everything. He had filled Duo's heart with such joy and hope and love that the boy saw a bright future for the first time in his life. [And now it's over... the dream is over.] Reluctantly, but bravely Duo tapped at the door. Three times just as he had said... [Duo!] Zechs thought, adrenaline flushing through him as he realized his little lover had finally returned to him. He quickly strode to the door and opened it, then gasped as Duo nearly fell forward into his arms. "Duo? Dancer? What's wrong, are you all right?" he queried worriedly as he helped Duo enter the room, bewildered that the boy was having so much trouble standing and walking. Then he realized. [He's... drunk! What the...?] "I'm... fine," Duo said, his speech slurred and his body leaning a bit heavily on the taller man. Then with a little sway and a lot of effort Duo stood on his own and looked up into those gorgeous baby blues. With a heavy sigh he asked, "Why'd ya' have to be so boo-tiful?" "I don't know, Duo," Zechs murmured, smiling. He tapped Duo on the nose, though carefully as the boy seemed very unstable as if even a light touch could knock him down. "Why did you have to be so cute and cuddly, hmmm?" When Duo continued on into the room, weaving, he stayed very close, ready to catch him. "Not cuddly... 'nuff," Duo said, as he plopped down on the edge of the bed and rubbed his hand on his forehead as if he was trying to massage his brain into working better. [He's trying to soften the blow with nice words...] "Yer alone?" Duo asked, suddenly realizing he might have interrupted something. Maybe Heero was here... hiding. He bent forward and lifted the bed covers and looked underneath. "Nope... nobody there." [Oh, my God, I've never seen him like *this*!] Zechs shook his head, bewildered by the bizarre things coming out of his lover's mouth. "Of course I'm alone, silly. Waiting for my Dancer!" He slid onto the bed beside him, slipping his arm around his shoulders. "Who has had too much to drink..." He leaned in, sniffing at his breath, brushing the hair out of the boy's bleary eyes with his fingers. He didn't smell anything very pronounced, but Duo's eyes were bloodshot. "Hmm, must have been vodka..." "Lots a li'l glasses of vodka," Duo said, chuckling. [Why am I laughing? This is a fucking nightmare! God... He's holding me... and I want him... and I can't have him...] The boy groaned with the pain of losing his heart's desire and the ill effects of the alcohol. Greedily, he slumped against Zechs for comfort and then regretted it. The man was deliciously solid next to him and it made him shudder to think that Heero would be enjoying this man's strength and beauty from now on. [Damn you, Heero!] "Duo... Duo!" Zechs fit his hand under the boy's chin, tilting it up so he could look at him. "Are you okay? Feeling sick?" [Well, at least he's *here*... I feel as if I've been looking for him the better part of a day. Not that he's in any shape to hear... damn...] "Sick? Yeah... that's it," Duo said, his eyelids heavy and blinking at the beautiful face staring at him. [Oh, don't touch me like this, Zechs. You'll make me do something I know I'll regret...] [Why... why would he drink like that? Just doesn't know his limits? Or is there something else? Did someone challenge him? Or maybe he really did hear me telling Heero about the nightmares...] Zechs stared at his beloved's bleary eyes, biting the corner of his lip in consternation. "I'll walk you to the bathroom if you are, love," he murmured, brushing the hair from his lover's eyes, kissing his forehead and cheek. Within, Zechs was feeling strange, sensing something wasn't right, something was so very wrong... and he remembered the aborted oral sex of earlier. [The uniform... his questions... and I couldn't find him... he didn't seem to want to see me... and now to finally come here drunk...] "Not... throwin'...up," Duo muttered as he swayed a little even though he was sitting down. His resolve to be here and end this was breaking down with the sweet torture of Zechs's kisses. [Don't be so kind... and beautiful...] [His pride got stung... hmm, I wonder if he tried to drink someone under the table... and lost,] Zechs mused, hugging Duo a little closer as the slim figure in his arms seemed close to tipping off the bed and onto the floor. He glanced down at the only slightly disheveled GAIA uniform. "Mmmm, you wear the uniform well, little fox," he murmured, fingering the collar of the waist-length pilot's jacket. "Zechs," Duo said and swallowed. [He's so close... need him so bad... maybe he would...] "Zechs, please..." Duo didn't care if he sounded like he was begging, because that was exactly what he was doing. This was his last chance. After tonight they would never be alone again... [I need to feel him one last time.] He took hold of the front of the man's polo shirt and tugged him closer. "Let's make... love," he said, breathing deeply with arousal and exhaustion. [I can hardly keep my eyes open...] "Please," he said, pulling Zechs down onto the bed with him. "Let's pretend..." And then he was out. Passed out from the drink as soon as his head hit the bed. Stunned, Zechs gaped as his beloved Dancer dropped abruptly into a sound sleep from the alcohol. "Duo... DUO!" He levered back up and patted Duo's cheek a couple times, but the boy was definitely out like a light, deeply asleep, even to snoring lightly. "Oh, my sweet Dancer, what have you done to yourself..." Abruptly he wrapped Duo in his arms, just holding him close. Zechs felt his throat tighten with emotion wrought from the day's frustrations... and now this. "Oh, love... I didn't get to tell you... about the nightmares..." [He said we should pretend... that I'm better, I assume. Pretend that I will not keep holding back from loving him... that's why he was begging me to make love to him.] Zechs swallowed with difficulty and pressed his cheek against Duo's, rocking very slightly. "That's what this is all about, isn't it? This is what I've driven you to... oh, sweet Duo... but I *am* getting better. Heero and Sally have helped me figure it out... and I can feel that I'm almost there. Soon, very soon, and I won't let even this war get in our way, not now..." Taking a deep breath, Zechs sat Duo up carefully and began working the GAIA jacket off the boy. As he worked to undress him to make him more comfortable for sleeping, he recalled that the base was going to be a busy place in the morning. He had yet to talk to Bronn about going to Bremen, and Lance DuChien was arriving probably by dawn if he'd taken a high-speed shuttle from Europe. The GAIA Committee had to meet... and then Zechs could send Heero to look at the files with Lance while he finally, FINALLY sat Duo down for a badly needed talk. Despite producing a few mutters and mysterious sounds, Duo did not awaken while Zechs removed his jacket, pants, cravat and boots, leaving the pale blue shirt as a nightshirt of sorts. Once Duo was settled, sleeping on his side like the proverbial baby, Zechs changed to his short nightrobe and crawled in beside him, as usual spooning up behind him. Somehow, though heavily and blissfully asleep, Duo felt the warmth of his lover surrounding him. He snuggled closer to that warmth... a dream? Yes, a blessed dream after a nightmarish day. The boy settled into the embrace happily and drifted deeper into sleep. The shift against his body caught Zechs by surprise. "Duo?" he whispered, but was answered by a contented soft snore. "Love you... little fox," he murmured, willing himself to burrow into the lassitude of sleep. But sleep did not come so easily. [Tomorrow I want to try to make love to him... I need to try... it's been too long...] He frowned, his nose in Duo's hair, thinking about the past weeks. [I should have told him right away about the nightmares... maybe we could have taken time away from the base to go into Capetown and I could have seen someone sooner... but he didn't need one more setback... damn that we got so busy... damn...] Sometime after finally falling asleep, a worried crease still marring his brow, Zechs began to dream... (tbc)
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