|
"Crisis"Written By: Artemis Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters are
copyright to Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency, and associated parties.
I make no money with this fic. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: yaoi lemon including rimming, angst,
violence, language, reference to past NCS involving a minor, death,
angst. Pairings: 6x2, 3x4 Summary: Sequel to Interfacing: Regained. GAIA
prepares to go into space and announce itself to the world; Duo and
Zechs' relationship goes through its own crisis. "Crisis " 10) As Zechs left his quarters, Duo stood frozen, his mouth hanging open as he listened intently to the sound of his lover's fading footsteps. When at last he budged, bolting to the door, his hands grasping the doorjamb, he looked out onto an empty corridor. "No," he sobbed, calling after Zechs, but the man was long gone. "I can't take much more of this," he said, shaking his head and grabbing his shirt and boots from the floor before closing the door behind him and heading to his own room. "Every time we're together something happens to louse it up," he grumbled as he headed the short distance down the hall. After unlocking his door, Duo stood for a moment surveying the unused bed and the pile of dirty laundry he'd forgotten to give to the base's cleaning staff. He was only ever in this room to change clothes and occasionally to sulk. But he didn't want to sulk now. He had a knot in his stomach from what had just happened. A knot that was laced with unending frustration. "What is it with me lately? No matter how hard I try I always seem to screw things up." He stepped into the room, closing the door and setting that question aside in favor of the million-dollar question... Why weren't things better between him and Zechs? Why was Zechs still reluctant to make love? "There's something he's not telling me," Duo rationalized as he stepped over to the dresser, dropping his shirt and boots on the floor before opening a drawer in search of another shirt to wear. His hands immediately fell on a black t-shirt and he frowned. Maybe it was time for him to shed the black clothes and "black" persona. Maybe it was time to show everyone, in no uncertain terms, that Duo Maxwell was indeed part of the team. After the stunt today, attacking a potential ally, everyone needed reassurance from him... and possibly none more than Zechs. [Maybe that's it? Maybe Zechs needs a sign from me that I'm good and positive and a team player!] He padded over to the closet and slid back the door. The only item hanging there was the full pilot's uniform of GAIA. He pulled the jacket from the hanger and held it up for examination. "I said I wouldn't wear this thing," he remembered with a sigh. "But if it means Zechs will be better, and the others, too, then it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make!" He took each item from the hanger and then laid them out on his bed. He had to admit that he liked the colors... dark green pants and jacket and a light blue shirt. Everyone looked good in those colors, especially his Zechs. He stripped out of his jeans and began to put on the clothes that represented the organization that would free the Earthsphere. At last, when he slipped the short jacket on, buttoning it at his waist, he looked in the mirror, adjusting the cravat at his throat. "Hmm, not bad," he mused as he turned from side-to-side admiring the fine line he cut in the tailored clothes. GAIA pilots wore the waist-length version of the double-breasted jacket to aid in mobility while fighting, while tower personnel - and Zechs when not piloting - wore the longer version. "Probably the best suit of clothes I'll ever own!" He wanted to rush off and find Zechs, show him the new Duo, but he realized the man was probably still in the teleconference with Treize. "I'll hang out for a while, make sure everyone gets a good look at me in my new clothes and then I'll round up Zechs for dinner... and talking." In a flash he was out the door and on his way to the center of the base's activity. "Duo?" Upon returning from his talk with Treize, Zechs threw the door to his room open and skidded to a stop all at once. Though he did not see his lover immediately, he scanned the room, then listened. No braid, no sounds of the shower running. No Duo. Quickly he entered to do a hasty circuit of the room; Duo was famous for finding small places in which to hide, even in obvious locations. No Duo. [He's mad at me, frustrated, angry with me or himself, or all of the above,] he thought, then went to his lover's room. No Duo. Just dirty laundry. [Don't tell me he hasn't been using the laundry facilities here...] Zechs next went to the kitchen. "Have you seen the braid?" he asked the main cook, who was busy directing her assistants in preparing the dough for the following day's bread and pastries. "The braid? Oh, your Duo," the woman sighed, wiping her hands on her apron. "I'd know if he was here. He hasn't been here in a while, actually. By the way, something I've been meaning to ask you about. Excepting Duo, those boys don't eat enough, especially the tall one and the little blond, though the one that never smiles doesn't eat much either. Can you talk to them, Zechs?" Exasperated, Zechs shook his head emphatically. "I'm not their mother, and I'm the last one they'd listen to on something that personal. We have a new doctor on base; I'll speak to her. I'm sure she'd be much more effective." [Not eating? Well, there isn't an ounce to spare on any of them, that's for sure, and Duo is so active he has to eat like he does.] He sighed. "By the way, Marjorie, we have a visitor who probably hasn't had anything to eat either tonight. Could you please have some food sent up to him?" "Sure, where is he?" [Oh, she's going to hate me...] "He's in his Gundam, actually. The big white, red and blue one with gold trim." The cook stood with her hands on her hips, regarding the tall man with amusement. "We're delivering to Gundams now?" "Yes," Zechs replied seriously. She raised an eyebrow. "Oh. Very well, I'll send someone up. They just knock on the cockpit door or something?" "You got it. Thanks, Marjorie." Leaving the kitchen area, Zechs wondered where to look next. [Maybe he went back to work on the simulation, to practice or something...] He headed for the control tower; the base's computer room was on the second floor. Pushing open the door, Zechs could see a dark head bent over a computer. "Duo?" The head lifted; it was Heero Yuy. "Hasn't been here," Heero muttered, then bent to his work again. Zechs sagged against the doorjamb. [Duo doesn't want to be found, that's plain... and if he's in his Gundam, he for certain doesn't want to be bothered. I guess he wants some space... he's embarrassed about what happened and isn't ready to face me.] He sighed heavily, bowing his head, his arms crossed over his chest. "You two having troubles?" Zechs glanced up to see Heero watching him. "Just the usual. He wants more than I'm ready to give him." The dark blue-gray eyes stared, unblinking. "He needs balance... and patience. Duo wants everything now. He's so talented and gifted that when things don't come to him easily, he gets frustrated. Like with the simulation." [I bet Duo would give an eyetooth to hear Heero say he was talented and gifted,] Zechs considered. "So what's your secret? I've never met anyone as level-headed as you, Heero." Eerily, the boy's eyes still did not blink. "Self-discipline... trained into me. I don't think the others were ever subjected to the sort of training I was... although I think Trowa may have. I was raised to be an assassin and a covert operative." [And I thought I was well-disciplined...] "Then you have an advantage over the others," Zechs commented thoughtfully. "If you want to call it that," Heero replied, then blinked once and looked away. "I've learned I have... deficiencies." [I have done nothing but repeatedly fail ever since coming to Earth...] "Then you're selling yourself short," Zechs murmured, pushing off from the doorjamb to come into the room. "A soldier must have personal discipline to succeed." Heero leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest, regarding the computer screen impassively. "You already know that's not true. Personal discipline is important, but what is more important, I've come to learn, is in the heart. To value something enough to fight for it." "True..." Zechs turned a chair around so its back was facing Heero, then sat and leaned his forearms on the back, his chin resting on his arms. "I have learned that as well... and hopefully not too late." Heero blinked then looked over at the man... and was there a hint of compassion in those dark eyes? Out in the main hangar, Duo spotted Linden Vingt and a couple of the other Aries pilots huddled together, chatting. He decided they wouldn't be a bad place to start, since they all wore the new uniform and would be less inclined to tease him than the Gundam pilots who knew him better. He sidled up to the group easily, ever confident of his social skills, and Linden immediately stood to greet him. "Duo!" the young pilot exclaimed with a bright smile. "Good to see you." "Yeah, how's it going?" Duo asked casually, nodding to the others and then tugging on the collar of his new uniform jacket. Linden took a step back and looked the Gundam pilot up and down. "Very nice," he said. [Now turn around so I can get a good look at your ass in those snug pants!] "You look so official now. What'd they give you a promotion or something?" he asked with a chuckle. "Nope, I just decided it was time," Duo grinned. He was pleased with Linden's reaction, because it was a good indication that the others would react similarly. "Well, I gotta be going," Duo said, his eyes already looking away to more activity on the other side of the hangar. "Oh, hey, maybe you'd like to join us for dinner? We were just about to get something to eat," Linden said hopefully. "Nah, I've got a dinner date with Zechs," Duo said brightly. "But thanks anyway. Maybe I'll see ya' round later?" "Sure... later," Linden said, and watched as Duo strutted away, looking very pounce-worthy in the uniform. Duo wound his way through the hangar, saying hello as he went and even stopping to chat for a few minutes with Howard. Then he headed back into the interior of the base and was happy to bump into Quatre and Trowa who were walking hand-in-hand. "Hi, Duo. We missed you at dinner," Quatre said with a knowing grin. "Oh, yeah, well, I'm just on my way to find Zechs... I'm hungry!" "I'll bet," the little blond chuckled. Duo shook his head, realizing just what Quatre was thinking. [Geez, is that all he thinks about?] "Notice anything different about me?" "Of course! I just didn't know if I should say anything. It looks good on you," Quatre said, smiling. "Yeah, now you're just one of the guys," Trowa murmured with a hint of a smile. "Thanks," Duo grinned. "Well, I'll see you guys later, I'm gonna round up Zechs for dinner," Duo said, but as he turned to leave he thought to ask about Heero's whereabouts. "Have either of you seen Heero?" "He had dinner with Sally and us," Quatre said. "And then he said something about working on the training simulation." "Computer room... gotcha. Thanks! Later!" Duo nodded and darted down the hall. He'd stop by and see Heero just for a minute to let the other boy see him in his uniform. Not that he wanted Heero to think that he had any impact on Duo's decision to wear the uniform, but it would be a bit of a peace offering. [I have been giving him a hard time today... And this will only take a minute, then I'll find Zechs and we'll have a nice dinner and I'll apologize for what I said and he'll forgive me and we'll cuddle...] Thoughts about the sequence of events for the rest of the evening played through Duo's mind as he traversed the corridors leading to the computer room. As he approached he saw the door was half open... a few steps closer and he could make out the distinct tone of Heero's voice. "Hmm," he wondered. "Who's he talking to? Himself?" Duo slowed his steps when he heard Heero being answered by Zechs. His stomach clenched. Once again Zechs and Heero were together. [What, are they becoming best friends or something?] Duo asked himself, feeling the frustration building inside him. Just as he was about to push the door open and step inside to interrupt, he was stopped dead in his tracks by what he overheard... "You really should tell him, you know," Heero was saying. "The sooner he knows, the sooner he can deal with it." [Huh?] Duo wondered, not liking the tone in Heero's voice. [Are they talking about me?] Even as he asked himself the question, Duo knew the truth... they must be... He clamped a hand over his mouth and held his breath, not wanting to be discovered eavesdropping. "I know, you're right," Zechs murmured, his voice a little muffled. "I'm sure he'll take it the wrong way. I know I should have told him... when it started." [When what started?!] Duo's eyes went wide with panic and he stumbled backwards into the middle of the corridor, nearly falling down. [Oh, God, no! He can't mean...?] The young pilot turned and sprinted down the hall toward his Gundam. His mind raced with everything he had seen and heard in the past weeks... Zechs and Heero spending more and more time together. Zechs and Heero talking quietly. Zechs's strange and unexplainable "connection" to Heero. And now today, Heero intoning Zechs's name again and again. [I don't want to be right, but how can I deny it? Zechs wants to be with Heero! That's what he's going to tell me that I won't understand!] Somehow Duo managed to keep the tears from spilling down his cheeks as he tore through the vast complex, making his way to the safety of his mobile suit. Once inside the Deathscythe, he slumped into the pilot's chair and began to sob uncontrollably, his head in his hands. "Zechs, why? I love you..." The pain tore through him, making him feel hollow and defeated. Duo had fallen hard for Zechs Merquise. He had given over every bit of himself to the man. Loved him with every breath. Now the realization that it was over - or soon to be over - shook the boy's body with grief. [That must be why Zechs won't make love to me... and tonight when I mistakenly told him I wanted him to fuck me, he was... repulsed. I have to get out of here. I can't bear to see him with Heero!] What could he do? Was there any recourse? If Zechs was truly transferring his affections to Heero, there was nothing left for Duo to do except to slink away and try to pretend that he had never loved the tall, blond aristocrat. His first instinct when things got bad in life was always to run... and hide. And so, with trembling hands and blurred vision from the hot tears, Duo began to power up his Gundam. He quickly worked through the sequence, but when it came time to actually take his Gundam out of the hangar, he hesitated. It was late. The continent was dark. He was an emotional wreck and had no plan... though there was always outer space. [God, I wish I could talk to Quatre, but he's sure to blame himself. I know he still feels guilty for what happened in Cairo... and how could I tell him that things have never been the same. He'll say it's all his fault!] Duo began to sob again, and slouched over the control panel. Images of all the moments he had shared with Zechs in the month they'd known each other came back to him. Images of how beautiful Zechs was as a man, a leader, a friend and as a lover. Vivid images of their lovemaking... on the bed, the sofa and in the shower, and memories of laughter and nights spent in blissful sleep after being completely sated. "No," the sob came again. "I don't want to lose him..." Helpless and alone, Duo resigned himself to staying in his Gundam as long as possible. He flicked the power switch off and then cried himself to sleep over the control panel. (I suppose the subtitle of this part of the fic would be "Timing is Everything"!) (tbc)
|
